How did Tom the tomato know he had gained weight?
He couldn’t see his toes.
Some would say Tom ate too many Ore-O’s.
That joke is a Paul original. It had a double punch line. I’m not explaining the intricacies of it. If you didn’t laugh, I want a 2000 word essay on why you didn’t find it funny.
I’ll shut up now. Enjoy my viewing notes for The Office.
- “The main difference between me and Donald Trump is that I get no pleasure out of saying the words, ‘You’re fired’.” – Michael Scott.
- Dwight put the water cooler next to his desk so he doesn’t miss out on water cooler talk. What a nightmare.
- Michael has a flip phone. I miss flip phones.
- It’s Meredith’s birthday next month but they’re throwing her a surprise party by the end of this episode.
- In my Grade 9 gym class, one of my classmates didn’t complete his health homework because he was “birthday planning”. Eleven years later, I still laugh about that.
- Dwight wants to form an alliance with Jim because the company might downsize. Jim accepts and we have our first final two alliance.
- Michael has a “Happy Bird-Day” card for Meredith.
- Toby and Kevin are sharing microwaved popcorn in the kitchen. I want it.
- Dwight thinks Toby and Kevin have formed an alliance. They are a threat.
- Jim isn’t really committed to the final two alliance with Dwight. He’s hoodwinking him. I don’t know if that’s the right word, but just go with it.
- Dwight is better at hiding than a deer is at vision. His words, not mine.
- Dwight is hiding in a box so he can spy on other alliances.
- Meredith walks into the office…SURPRISE!
- There are party hats, cake, and paper plates that will fill up the garbage bins later.
- Michael donated $25 to Oscar for a walk-a-thon but didn’t realize he was paying per mile, so now he wants a refund. El cheapo grande.
- Roy walked in to see Jim getting close with Pam. He takes her out of the office. What is this, elementary school? He didn’t even sign her out.
- The title of this episode is “Basketball”. I’m shuddering already.
- It appears everyone has brought in a bag with gym clothes today.
- It’s the office staff vs. the warehouse staff. Tickets are still available.
- “Pam, Pam, thank you ma’am.” – Michael Scott. This one actually got a smile out of me.
- Ohhhh Roy works in the warehouse. This makes sense.
- Pam has been engaged for three years. Jim sees this as an opportunity, based on his facial expressions.
- Michael is deciding on a starting lineup. He chooses Stanley first because Michael is racist?
- Phyllis wants to play but Michael ignores her because he’s sexist?
- Michael wants Pam to be the cheerleader, but she doesn’t want to.
- Jim offers to be a cheerleader but Michael makes a homophobic slur.
- Phyllis offers to be a cheerleader and Michael says, “Yuck.”
- This episode wouldn’t survive in 2016. Not a chance.
- It’s game time. Michael is wearing a knee brace and silky shorts.
- He’s the guy at the local park/community centre who says “foul” every five seconds and thinks he plays in the NBA, but in reality, is terrible.
- PAM AND ROY BOY JUST KISSED IN FRONT OF JIM.
- Dwight is wearing a face mask.
- Everyone is stretching before the game. It won’t matter. They’ll be sore tomorrow.
- This is like a bad intramural game. Trust me, I know one when I see it.
- MICHAEL JUST CALLED A FOUL. I TOLD YOU HE WAS THAT GUY!
- Dwight is actually good at basketball. Meanwhile, Michael thinks his last name is Jordan.
- Michael calls a huddle and says his team is playing like a bunch of girls. #2005
- Jim and Roy are getting physical, like the Olivia-Newton John song.
- Most of you probably just sang “Let’s get physical” in your head. Don’t deny it.
- MICHAEL CALLED ANOTHER FOUL!
- Michael ends the game early because his team is winning. The losers are working Saturday….nevermind, they got out of it.
- Pam takes off with Roy; Jim sulks in his chair.
Episode 6 – Season Finale
- There is a lady in the office looking to sell handbags. Michael calls her the new and improved Pam; Pam 6.0.
- Michael is the classic, “I’m-going-to-try-to-act-really-cool-because-there-is-a-camera-on-me” guy.
- Kevin tells Pam that Katie is prettier than her.
- Kevin, you’re fired.
- Michael doesn’t allow office romances. Does anyone ever follow that rule, though? It’s better than going on a reality show, no?
- Roy tells Jim that he would be all over Katie if he weren’t “dating” Pam.
- Pam got mad. Not because he said he would be with Katie, but because he said “dating” instead of “engaged”.
- HERE IS YOUR OPENING, JIM.
- The downfall of Ram, meet the rise of Jam.
- Jim just convinced Dwight to buy a purse. I’m getting Mrs. Doubtfire vibes.
- Michael bought a Starbucks digital barista for the office. What a waste of money.
- I say that because I don’t drink coffee.
- Michael doesn’t know how to behave around girls he likes (Katie), or people.
- Dwight wants permission from Michael to ask Katie out. He’s about to get punched in the face. At the very least, a knuckle sandwich.
- Michael is giving Katie a ride home and Dwight is about to soil himself out of jealousy.
- Pam just said Jim is like a brother to her.
- We will now observe a moment of silence.
- Dwight asked Katie out. She said no. He’s crushed.
- What is wrong with these people?
- Michael and Ryan are now cleaning out his car. There is a lot of junk. Katie would never date him if she knew his car was dirty. That’s the only reason.
- Jim tells Pam that he’s going to see Katie this weekend. Pam seems jealous.
- Jam is in shambles. Jatie/Kim is on the horizon.
- Jim is taking Katie home. Probably better for her safety.
- Pam drives off with Roy Boy and looks like she’d rather be with Jim.
Season 1 is over. I didn’t laugh much. I realized that Michael Scott is the kind of person who talks to strangers on public transportation and makes them feel really awkward and unsafe.
If you want me to continue this for Season 2, let me know.
Part 1 | 2