50 Thoughts XXXVII

1. For some reason, I thought the Friends reunion was going to be a new slate of episodes, featuring all of the celebrities they had announced.

2. What’s a food that sounds good and looks good, but doesn’t live up to expectations when you eat it? For me, it’s the piece of fudge cake I had last week.

3. I imagine that the birds sitting on a fence are the same as Dads sitting on a bench at the mall.

4. The way Naomi Osaka – the #2 ranked tennis player in the world – was treated for deciding to put her mental health first, and refusing to speak to the media at the French Open, was absolutely disgusting.

5. Wikipedia describes Outer Banks as an, “American action-adventure mystery teen drama”, so I guess this means television genres are like pizza toppings now.

6. I almost knocked over the hand sanitizer dispenser at the vaccination clinic; it was teetering.

7. Going forward, every Business teacher will have a slide in their PowerPoint that says, “Is the business pandemic-proof?” The next slide will use the word “pivot”. And then the next slide will be a case study of how businesses navigated the Covid-19 Pandemic.

8. “We hit it off.” – Every TV show ever made

9. Genuinely fascinated by the steeplechase as a track and field event.

9.5 THERE IS A GIANT PUDDLE. AFTER A HURDLE.

10. If you’re over the age of 10, I don’t know what crocs are doing on your feet.

11. Apparently my Italian accent comes out whenever I’m on the phone with my Nonno.

12. I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to start watching The Challenge, but I’ve watched five seasons over the last few months and I’m hooked.

13. If you’re going to waste your time coming up with wild conspiracy theories, at least make them fun like, “Are push-ups a real exercise?”

13.5 Stay tuned for Thought #49 for another fun one.

14. It feels like we go from Friday to Monday a lot faster than we do Monday to Thursday.

15. A few years ago I listened to a CBC podcast called, “Missing & Murdered: Who Killed Alberta Williams?” She was an Indigenous woman living in BC, who was killed and left on the side of “The Highway of Tears”. Sadly, she is one of many who have been found there. Thousands of Indigenous women and girls are still missing.

That’s one of the many things I thought of when I heard that the remains of 215 Indigenous children were found at a former residential school in BC last week.

16. New York Fries should license their french fries to fast-food restaurants that have sub-par french fries.

17. Christmas ornaments are pomegranates in the off-season. You think I’m kidding.

18. Every few years a new hit song called “Dynamite” comes out.

19. Watching television shows On-Demand is a nice concept, until you realize you can’t fast forward or rewind.

20. I love the aerial shots of Formula 1 race tracks.

21. Don’t be surprised if the Edmonton Oilers go after Frederik Andersen in free agency.

22. Remember when someone created a Facebook event called “Friday” and it was for Rebecca Black’s song? What a time.

23. Adults can’t help but tell you they had some errands to run.

24. How many neigh-ture walks do you think horses have been on in the last year? Sorry.

25. As a society, we need to do a better job of talking about how great nectarines are.

26. Horses probably wonder why they can’t have normal names, unless they think humans are the ones with weird names.

27. A bowl of Corn Flakes never disappoints.

28. The first magician who pulled a rabbit out of their hat probably had a lot of explaining to do afterwards. I’m picturing a media circus befitting of the 1800s.

29. Every street has at least one person who is always using power tools in their garage.

30. I find it comical that most restaurants will send you all the components to a salad, so you can put it together yourself. 1) That’s not how this transaction is supposed to work. 2) The rest of the meal is left wondering, “Where’s Paul?”, while I put the salad together.

30.5 OH and when you shake the salad container to mix in the dressing, the lettuce doesn’t even move because it’s so tightly packed.

30.75 Then you have to transfer it to a bowl and remix it. It’s a shambolic process, really.

31. I like how the go-to move for people who scoff at social media is to put the word, “The” in front of the name of each platform. “The TikTok”, “The Facebook”, “The Twitter”.

32. My overwhelming memory of Blockbuster is how nice and air conditioned it always was in the summer.

33. Bagels don’t taste like they did 20 years ago.

34. Not enough things in life are free.

35. Nabisco World and Candystand had so many good online games back in the day.

36. Every closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.

37. 16-year-old Goaltender Taya Currie was drafted by the Sarnia Sting, making her the first female player ever chosen in the Ontario Hockey League draft. I think that’s incredible and wish her all the success.

38. I am on pace to have 24 headaches this year, which is down from last year’s tally of 36.

39. If I were a sports league like: MLS, NLL, CFL, WNBA, etc., I’d be contacting Netflix, or any streaming company, every day trying to get them to commission a documentary series about the teams and players in my league.

39.5 Heck, even MLB should do it. They won’t, but they should.

40. A new season of The Bachelorette begins tonight, which means 87% of the guys will have the same haircut.

41. The Monaco Grand Prix answers the question: What would it be like to race cars in a drive-thru lane for 90 minutes?

42. Some commercials on the radio have been using the same jingle for over 20 years and they’re starting to bug me.

43. Hear me out: An arena/stadium with movie theatre seats, and everyone gets their own arm rests. Also, leg space.

44. I feel like the phrase, “You schmooze, you lose” will go viral some day.

45. Always amazed at how fast synchronized diving analysts know if a dive was good or not.

46. “Chagrin” is an anagram for “A Grinch”, which means we may or may not have a Tom Riddle/Lord Voldemort situation on our hands.

47. The “there are too many people to thank, so I won’t thank anyone” part of an acceptance speech is such a cop-out.

48. I think “Long Division” is long overdue for a rebrand.

49. What if swing sets at the park are actually a tool to subconsciously teach children about supply and demand? Why else would there be so few swings?

50. Things won’t be fully back to normal until you have aisle seats at a baseball game and the person behind you stretches their bare foot all the way into your peripheral vision.

Only Pain

Remember in Home Alone 2, when the family lands in Miami and they are passing everyone’s luggage down the line – “Give this to Kevin” – only to find out that, “Kevin’s not here”? And then Catherine O’Hara finds out and is like, “Kevin’s not here lolz” before screaming, “KEVIN!” and faints?

Remember that hullabaloo?

Well, take the essence of that scene, apply it to the Toronto Maple Leafs, and congratulations! You’re now fully caught up on the last six playoff exits, dating back to 2013.

It’s the slow realizaton that you don’t actually have what you thought you did, and you’re about to boomerang yourself back into a horrible situation.

Now then, let’s get the official police statement – if you will – out of the way before I go any further.

Ahem.

The Toronto Maple Leafs were leading their first round playoff series, 3-1, against the Montreal Canadiens. Montreal won Game 5. Montreal won Game 6. And then Montreal won Game 7.

Okay, there it is. We don’t have to get into the specifics right now. Details shmetails. Lalalala not listening. Goodnight, nurse.

Deep breath.

Why can’t we have nice things? As a fan base, why can’t we ever be rewarded? Why is it never easy? Why can’t be happy? Why can’t we have a moment of joy? Why? WHY?

I just stopped writing, so I could cover my face with my hands.

Why do we have lose our smile like Shawn Michaels in ’97?

Why are the “good old days” a one-hit wonder?

Why can’t this team love me back the way it did when I was a kid?

As far as I can tell, that’s been the worst thing about growing up. So, eat your heart out annual life crisis, and overall sense of purpose.

Twelve days ago, I wrote a blog post entitled: This Isn’t About 1967.

I was positive. I was optimistic. Gosh darn it, I was dancing in the moonlight before the moon had even come out.

I was trying to unburden ourselves from the pain and disappointment of the past. Like a lemon in hot water, let’s flush out the toxins and support the team that is here right now.

Well, kumba-ya failed, Paul.

The Leafs are who we thought they were.

I really don’t know where to go from here. There is no more road. The GPS has disappeared like some sort of Marauder’s Map. The MapQuest directions are outdated.

I don’t know which way to go. Toward the North Star? Dallas?

The Leafs haven’t won a playoff series since 2004. Oh my God. I was in Grade 7. I had just started squinting at the board from the back of the classroom. I did a speech on, “A Day in the Life of the Toronto Maple Leafs.”

And now I’m writing a blog post called, “Only Pain”.

Connect the dots in your life, at your own peril.

Am I dumb? Do I not know what a good hockey player looks like? Have I been misguided?

I’m not the only one who looked at this team and thought it was the best team we’ve had in years. Right? Hands up. We’re in this together.

That’s what makes this collapse so baffling.

We had the horses.

WE HAD THE BLOODY HORSES.

You know who didn’t have the horses? Montreal didn’t have the horses.

They didn’t have the Rocket Richard winner on their team.

They didn’t have two of the top five point leaders in La Ligue nationale de hockey.

They didn’t have the scoring depth, or the size up front.

They had Carey Price. No doubt. I love Carey Price. I’ll never say a bad word about him. He’s phenomenal. Cool as a cucumber, freshly picked.

They also relied on four big, burly defensemen to play a ton of minutes. Fine. Drink milk, love life.

Montreal was always going to scratch, strategize, and scheme, but at least we could hang our hat on the fact that WE had the horses to get the job done over the course of a seven game series.

In the end, having the horses meant nothing. Absolutely nothing.

So, again. Am I dumb? I know it’s dangerous to judge a team on paper, but if there were ever a year to look at a team on paper and attach a chariot to it, it was this one. Right?

The FIRST PLACE Toronto Maple Leafs. The team that won 7 of 10 games against the Canadiens during the regular season.

If there were ever a team to believe in, it was this one. And they sent us home at the first Rose Ceremony.

A friend asked me after Game 6 how I was feeling. I said, “I’m not surprised, but I’m also surprised.”

Toronto was the best team for most of this series. Game 7 ended and I found myself searching the corners of what’s left of my mind, for instances of when Montreal even had the puck.

I just don’t know anymore.

If not this team, then what team?

Even if the team is good next season, how am I supposed to enjoy it? What a sad thought to have, isn’t it?

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me six times, you get to kick an extra point.

Why does every other team make it look so easy? Carolina has some young players leading the way right now, that aren’t even household names. Where are their growing pains?

Do we need to start playing “Rock You Like A Hurricane” before every game? Do we need to get Ric Flair to sound the siren?

What’s the answer? What is the recipe that avoids disaster?

Somebody find me the formula, so I can solve for WHY this keeps happening.

Is blue too passive of a colour? Do we need to remodel the dressing room and wear our green St. Pats uniforms more often?

Is Toronto the problem?

Is the media the problem? Are they being too critical? Or is it that they never shut up?

Our Captain gets taken off on a stretcher in Game 1 and we are met with the most insensitive, tasteless photo and headline imaginable on the front of a tabloid the next day.

What a downright embarrassment.

I’m not saying coddle the team and bring them orange slices. I’m saying have basic human decency.

The team hasn’t won a playoff series in the social media era. Is that the problem? It’s probably a part of it, honestly.

Imagine you open an app to scroll through photos and you’re met with a barrage of comments telling you how awful you are. I can promise you that their salary does not cushion that blow; I don’t care how much money they make.

As I’m in the middle of this rant about a team that constantly breaks my heart, the catharsis is setting in, and I do feel bad for the players.

If you’ve ever played team sports and felt like you lost a game because of a mistake you made – you feel like the bee’s butt (I’m assuming this is the antonym to “bee’s knees”).

Cried myself to sleep one night because I couldn’t find the strike zone to save my life. Sure, I was 12, but whatever. You wear the guilt even if it’s not your size.

So, I just hope Jack Campbell didn’t go to sleep last night thinking this was on him because it’s not. At all.

The players don’t want this legacy. They don’t want to be run out of town. They wanted to win together. It didn’t happen.

Yeah, okay…”Play better!”

And…”Play with urgency!”

I get it! I yell it at the TV too!

At the same time, I don’t know what ails this organization. It’s everything and it’s nothing – it’s this, that, and the other. It’s stuff that we may not ever be privy to from this side of the television screen.

That is why this is so incredibly frustrating. Put the characters in a different situation and the same plot unfolds.

It’s the airport scene in Home Alone 2.

Kevin’s not here.

And neither are the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Recently Played (May 2021)

You may or may not have noticed that I didn’t do a Recently Played post for the month of April. That is because I didn’t have enough songs to share, nor the motivation to put words into sentences.

I guess that brings us to May and today.

That would be a good name for a daytime talk show – Mae & Today. All people not named Mae, need not apply.

Anyway, here are some songs I’ve been listening to lately and how I discovered them.

My Own Soul’s Warning – The Killers

It’s only been two weeks and I already can’t remember how I first heard this song. However, I seem to recall being on YouTube and listening to another song by The Killers (see below) and seeing this one pop up on the side.

I clicked on it and now here we are. May and today.

It’s a catchy song, which seems to be typical for The Killers. I don’t know how they do it.

They do it with instruments, Paul.

Faded – soulDecision

Alright, listen. Listen. I was talking to my friend Sabrina about weird songs that were supposedly apart of our childhood and she mentioned this one (along with others that I’m too embarrassed to share). She’s yelling at the screen right now that I left a certain one off this list.

It’s probably been about twenty years since I last heard this song, but I remember it because I think it’s one of the first songs that I thought I knew a lyric, but didn’t, and was just substituting my own line instead.

Man, the things that stick with you.

Sanity for the Summer – City Mouth

I found this song on my Discover Weekly playlist on Spotify. It is one of those songs that you describe as, “it starts slow, but picks up in the middle” and hope that’s good enough for people to give it a chance.

One of the lines is, “crying to Julien Baker songs in my car” which stood out to me because I mentioned her on a previous edition of Recently Played. Understanding pop culture references, in real time, isn’t something I do all the time, so I was shocked by this one.

I’m quite proud of myself.

Chalk Outline – Three Days Grace

I believe I first heard this song on TV during a “Three Days Grace Thru Time” show.

This is a classic Paul Situation when it comes to music. I’ve liked some Three Days Grace songs ever since I was a kid, but does that mean I’ve listened to all/most of their songs? No. I just listen to the same ones I like.

Obviously.

I do this with a lot of bands. I don’t really explore their other songs – just the ones I like. And then years later I’ll stumble upon a song I like and wonder why I hadn’t heard it before.

It’s a vicious cycle that I sometimes break. When that happens, I normally find a bunch of songs I like. I don’t know why i do this to myself.

I think…that I think…that when the time is right for me to hear a song, I’ll hear it. That’s what i think, I think.

Caution – The Killers

Ah, yes. This is the “see below” I was referring to above. This is the song I was listening to on YouTube when “My Own Soul’s Warning” was recommended to me on the side of the screen.

But how did I find this song? No idea. I don’t know if I’m losing my marbles, or if I even had any to begin with (what do you even do with marbles?), but my memory for song discovery isn’t strong this month.

Anyway, it’s a good song. That I do know.

Something Like This – Gordi

Oh oh, I know where I first heard this song! Pick me, pick me. It was on an episode of New Amsterdam. Boom, nailed it.

This is the acoustic version, so of course I went to listen to the original. And wouldn’t you know it, the original sounded even more stripped down than this one.

We have a double acoustic on our hands, kids. A cous-coustic, if you will.

I prefer this version.

Head of the Table – Roman Reigns Theme

This one is just for me.

WWE Superstar Roman Reigns (he is The Rock’s cousin, even though they aren’t related by blood) finally got new entrance music, which has been long overdue. You may not care, but wrestling fans just want every wrestler to have the most epic song possible to usher them to the ring.

I won’t say that it makes or breaks the wrestler, but it kind of does. And lately, WWE has been using too much generic music for entrance themes.

That being said, boy did they get it right with this one. This song took Roman Reigns to a Final Boss level of character and fits perfectly with the persona he is now portraying.

That’s my list. Thanks for reading and listening!

Have a good May and today.

What songs have you been listening to lately? Recognize any of these?

This Isn’t About 1967

Back in the 90s and very early 2000s, CBC ran various montages during the Stanley Cup Playoffs featuring the song, “The Chance May Never Come Again“. It was, essentially, hockey’s version of “One Shining Moment” and romanticized the game in a way we don’t see that often anymore.

In the song is a line, “though the flame burns bright, in an instant it’s gone.” For some reason, I’ve always remembered that, especially in the context of sport.

Maybe it’s because I’m a fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs and, for better or worse, it encapsulates what cheering for this team is all about. It can be a constant tightrope walk between blind optimism and harsh reality.

Insert Michael Scott saying, “I am ready to get hurt again.”

It wasn’t always like this, though.

There was something so pure about being a sports fan when I was a child. Everything was great. Everything was exciting. There was no such thing as questioning lineup decisions, or wondering why certain trades were made.

Every player was a hero and they were mimicked on the playground, in the street, in the gymnasium, and on the carpet in front of the television.

There were no bouts of heavy breathing or raised anxiety levels. There was joy within the chaos.

The Leafs have a long history and no shortage of people to tell you about it. Whether it’s the analysts on TV, callers on the radio, family members, neighbours, kids at school, rival fans, hecklers in the stands, or a stranger at the mall who notices you wearing a Leafs hat.

It’s a fan base composed of many extreme extroverts, basically.

The go-to line is always something in reference to the last time the Leafs won the Stanley Cup – 1967.

Sadly, no one hates the Leafs more than their own fans. It’s like a sibling relationship though, where you’re the only one who can make fun of them, but the moment someone from “the outside” picks on them, you step up and defend them.

It’s very weird, but you can’t pick your fandom.

As a young boy still wearing jerseys I had to grow into, why would I care that the last time the Leafs won the Stanley Cup was in 1967? I only became a fan in 1997. Don’t put that burden on me. I wasn’t alive back then.

Every year I’ve been a fan of this team, it’s felt like another weighted vest is added to my person. It’s a weight that contains all of the team’s shortfalls and playoff perils. It’s everything since 1967, whether I like it or not.

And, quite frankly, I don’t want it anymore. I don’t want the weight of 54 years on my 29-year-old body.

We, as a fanbase, need to stop doing this to ourselves.

It is an encumbrance. It is a burden. It is a mental link to past traumas, robbing us of present joys.

And you know the franchise can feel the burden, too. In the last few years, you can feel them wanting a blank slate.

Four years ago, they released a video montage that played during an intermission in the arena. It chronicles the history of the team and doesn’t hold back on showing footage of “fans” wearing bags on their heads.

The main message at the end of the song, as emphasized by the lyric, “this time we’ll get it right”, is just that.

This time, they’ll get it right.

Now, maybe I’m just a sucker for a sports montage, or maybe I’m too far up the blind optimism tree, but I actually believe it.

The Leafs next chance at “this time” begins tonight, with Game 1 against the Montreal Canadiens, which means over the past week, a lot of words have had to fill the empty spaces in every medium accessible to mankind fankind.

Every angle of, “Can they do it??” was taken, as references to past failures were sprinkled in for our own paranoia.

This is a team that, for the first time in a long time, actually looks the part.

If you close your eyes and picture Scott Oake interviewing players with their families on the ice after winning the Stanley Cup, you can see this cast of characters there. At least, I can. And it’s not a lie to myself, or a vision of the impossible.

I’ve followed sports long enough to realize that the champion of a league doesn’t become champion by accident. They have the required pieces, as well as a pretty good run of things going well for them.

It’s not fair to burden this team, or ourselves – the fans – with 54 years of “stuff”.

This isn’t about the past.

This isn’t about 1967.

This isn’t about 1979 and the Leafs and Canadiens last playoff matchup.

This isn’t about Ballard’s Bunker at Maple Leaf Gardens and decades of cynicism perpetuated by a franchise who cared more about making money than winning games.

This isn’t about 1993 and Gretzky’s high stick on Gilmour that wasn’t called.

This isn’t about 1999 and moving to a new arena that had more seats, but less noise from the fans.

This isn’t about 2002 and Arturs Irbe’s big goalie pads.

This isn’t about 2004 and the Leafs last playoff series win.

This isn’t about 2008 and pugnacity, testosterone, truculence, and belligerence.

This isn’t about 2010 and waffles being thrown on the ice.

This isn’t about 2013 and a 4-1 collapse.

This isn’t about 2017, 2018, 2019, or 2020 and the first round exits.

This isn’t about “draft schmaft”, bags on heads, or the years without a Captain.

None of that matters right now. It can’t. It is an unnecessary weight that will only hinder progress.

This is about 2021.

This is about getting Joe Thornton and Jason Spezza a Stanley Cup.

This is about Auston Matthews being the best goal-scorer in the NHL.

This is about Mitch Marner and William Nylander forever looking like children playing a game they love.

This is about adapting to the playoff style of hockey and actually having a player on each line – Hyman, Foligno, Nash, and Simmonds – who are unafraid to hit somebody.

This is about T.J. Brodie and a defence that doesn’t panic with the puck.

This is about Jack Campbell, whose positivity is infectious.

This is about a young coach and a young GM, who, dare I say it – have done a great job.

And yes, this is absolutely about John Tavares and the Maple Leaf bedsheets he used to sleep in.

That’s what this is about.

Everything else can be put in a storage compartment.

I’ll end with this:

“Leafs Forever” has been the motto of this team for the last few years, appearing everywhere from its Twitter hashtag, to the tarps covering the seats in the stands.

At the closing ceremonies of Maple Leaf Gardens in 1999, before the Leafs moved to the then-named Air Canada Centre, Anne Murray sang her version of The Maple Leaf Forever.

The song was originally written by Alexander Muir in 1867 and was inspired by the large maple tree that stood on his street.

This is where I make a symbolic connection between trees and the Maple Leafs hockey club, but I trust you can make that link on your own. If not, think about how they endure, provide life, and regrow what was once lost. You’ll get there.

When the puck drops tonight – it’s about right here and right now. The past will always be there to haunt us if we let it, but we can’t build forever if we don’t reside in the present.

It’s not about 1967, or every year since then.

It is about 2021 and these…our Toronto Maple Leafs.

“Within my heart, above my home, the Maple Leaf forever.”

First Time Watching: Mean Girls

Twelve years after graduating from high school, I think I finally understand everything that occurred, thanks to Mean Girls. I also have a better understanding of life, in general.

Who knew that this movie held all the answers?

Before Watching

Mean Girls is known for its iconic quotes, that are now preserved in the form of internet memes. I knew most, if not all, of them before watching. I wasn’t going into the movie completely blind.

Did I know the plot? Not really.

As the movie went along, I felt like I knew what was coming before it happened. I don’t know how to explain that. Did I somehow see this movie as a kid? Or was the plot obvious and anyone could’ve figured it out?

Synopsis

Lindsay Lohan is going by the name, Cady, in this movie. Teachers and students mistakenly call her, “Caddy”. Being homeschooled her entire life means she hasn’t faced this problem before. Her parents were zoologists in Africa.

Side note: Lindsay Lohan also acts as the narrator. Is it just me or was she also the narrator in a few other movies in the early 2000s?

Cady befriends Janis and Damian, who fill her in on school cliques and have her unknowingly skip 12th Grade Calculus. Don’t go near the “Plastics”, they said. They’re the popular girls, who are also mean.

The Plastics are a trio of oh dio mio: The Regina George, Gretchen Oscar Meyer Wieners, and Karen Smith.

One day, the “Plastics” invite Cady to sit with them at lunch. And because you can’t say “No!” to that, she sits with them and is invited into their inner circle of plasticity. Is it called plasticity? I’m just free-wheeling here.

Janis encourages Cady to join the group and spy on them, so they can take down the group from within. Cady is to be the trojan horse.

The Plastics have a “Burn Book”, which is full of rumours and secrets about the other girls at school. It’s a mistake waiting to happen, really. Why leave a paper trail? The year is 2004. Go on MSN Messenger like everyone else.

Cady implements a bunch of successful sabotages, but along the way, Cady turns into a mean girl, herself. She has lost the plot and also, her only true friends – Janis and Damian.

Regina figures out that Cady is a saboteur and, being the quick whippersnapper that she is, photocopies the contents of the Burn Book and spreads it around school. Before you know it, the hallways are in a riot. Friends become enemies. Hands become fists. Girls become…mean(er)?

Regina had the presence of mind to insert a fake rumour about herself, thus pinning ownership of the book on Cady, Gretchen, and Karen, as they were the only girls not mentioned.

If we’re just analyzing the plan, it was brilliant.

All of the junior girls are called to the gym for an impromptu Workshop of Kindness & Forgiveness (I made up this title), lead by Teacher Tina Fey. It initially works, as apologies are given – even by those who don’t attend the school.

But when it’s Janis’ turn to speak, she doesn’t hold back and confesses to the plan that her and Cady concocted to take down the Plastics. Regina runs out of the school and gets hit by a bus. It breaks her spine.

Cady joins the Mathletes; they win the championship.

The movie ends with a new crop of Junior Plastics walking around as if they own the place, thus continuing a detrimental high school culture that will surely make students uncomfortable for years to come.

“Goodbye, Africa. Hello, High School.”

Cady’s first taste of a school setting comes in her junior year of high school. Talk about diving into the deep end. On her first day, she almost got hit by a bus, which I guess was foreshadowing Regina getting hit near the end of the movie.

Putting literary devices aside for a second – how reckless were those bus drivers? They were just zooming by, with no regard for reduced speeds in a school zone. Who did they think they were? A 17-year-old in the student parking lot?

I hate seeing people speed in a school zone.

Anyway, Cady was met by a mob of students hanging out in front of the school and it brought back memories of kids lingering in the front lobby at my school every morning. It was extremely annoying.

You enter the school and are immediately met by loud, booming voices and small cracks to squeeze by. Once you conquer Level One, you head for a staircase where people are sitting, or leaning over the railing. No one moves. It’s a maze.

Finally, you reach your locker and the Final Boss is there. One last crowd, blocking your way.

It’s three stages of hell, really.

The first thing you realize when you get to university is that everyone knows how to walk and stay out of the way. They should put that in a pamphlet.

The Lunch Room

Cady had no one to sit with at lunch on her first day of school because she didn’t have any friends. She ate her lunch in a bathroom stall, instead.

I’ve said it before: the older you get, the fewer people you eat lunch with.

When you’re in school, you always need someone to sit with. It feels weird sitting by yourself. But as you get older, sitting at a table for one isn’t anything to be ashamed of because you’re there for the food – not human interaction.

The Plastics

Who doesn’t like a good heel faction, right?

Regina is clearly the backbone of the entire operation. If she could convince her parents to swap bedrooms with her, then she could make a bunch of high school girls wish they were her.

Gretchen is basically the Mickie James to Regina’s Trish Stratus, before she turned on Stratus. I’m referencing a wrestling feud from 2006, if you didn’t know. Gretchen is an extremely loyal friend, but has her moments where it’s clear that she doesn’t really like Regina.

You get the sense that Gretchen could break off from the group, be the leader of her own faction, and no one would question it.

If anyone is keeping track, Gretchen Wieners is my favourite member of the group. Just putting that in print.

Karen doesn’t know what she’s doing or why she’s laughing. She’s a perfect third member.

Looking back, they didn’t really need a fourth member. Bringing in Cady disrupted the hierarchy and left them vulnerable to a trojan horse and a subsequent hostile takeover.

They did this to themselves, really.

Just think, if Regina, Gretchen, and Karen hadn’t all been sitting on the same side of the table – who does that? – that day in the cafeteria, maybe they don’t invite Cady to sit with them. Maybe they don’t even notice her.

Despite being “mean girls” and creating a bunch of arbitrary rules to live by, it seemed like a lot of the other girls in the school looked up to them and wanted to be like them.

As a guy watching this, I couldn’t relate to that feeling. I didn’t want to dress, act, or speak like the supposed “popular kids”. Maybe that’s just me and who I am, and it varies for others. I really don’t know.

I feel like there’s a bigger discussion to be had here relating to girls in high school and “fitting in”, but I’m not the person to lead that discussion. So, if you have thoughts on it, let me know in the comments below.

The Burn Book

I’m only just remembering that kids used to say, “Oh! Burn!” whenever someone was spewing insults back in the early 2000s. I don’t know what I thought it meant while watching, but now it makes complete sense.

As I said in the synopsis, keeping a paper trail of insults was extremely negligent. Not only that, having a book in the first place is just immature.

Principal Duuuvall

Sorry, I was channelling my inner Jacksonville for a second.

I was wondering what kind of movie this was going to be and then I quickly found out when one of the first school scenes was Principal Duvall walking in on Teacher Tina Fey, while she had her shirt above her head. He went on to tell her about his carpal tunnel and she told him about her divorce.

Principal Duvall clearly had a crush on her.

Anyway, as soon as I saw the actor – Tim Meadows – I remembered him from The Even Stevens Movie as Miles McDermott. In that movie, Miles was basically a conman television host.

So, because of that, I never trusted him in Mean Girls. I always felt like he had an ulterior motive, especially when he had conversations with Teacher Tina Fey.

This is how my mind works. Don’t question it.

Cady is Queen

I’m not really sure how Cady was elected Queen at the Spring Fling dance if the school didn’t like her? Was there a silent majority present with a “Cady is my Queen” t-shirt under their dress shirts?

Perhaps.

Cady got up on stage and gave a speech about how she was sorry and that everyone is wonderful in their own way. That was cool.

But then she broke off pieces of the plastic tiara and handed them out to people as a sign of…unity? A peace offering?

I won’t lie, I thought it was a bit lame.

Moreover, did she really think that a group of girls who had been insulted and humiliated by a clique called The Plastics, really wanted to go home with a PLASTIC keepsake?

Talk about rubbing salt in the wound, but looking away while doing it.

Is it a symbol of unity and acceptance, or is it a symbol of high school trauma that will sit on their shelf and haunt them for years to come? I don’t think Cady thought this one through. If she had, she would’ve spent all night making friendship bracelets out of yarn because they weren’t called the YARNASTICS.

I’m just saying.

A High School Party

You know how it goes in these movies and television shows with high school parties.

Parents out of town. Friday night. Kid wants to be cool and accepted. They host a party. It’s crazier than they thought it would be. They find people in bedrooms. There’s a bowl of fruit punch. People show up that they don’t know. The person they were hoping to see is nowhere to be found. The music is damaging their eardrums. It gets out of hand.

You know the drill. I just described about 38 different movies and shows.

I just want to know, does that happen in real life? Maybe it’s a pre-2000s thing? Or am I just out to lunch?

Is that what high school parties were?

The Quotes

Just about every scene was memorable and included a line that you won’t forget. It’s such a good formula. No one could ever forget this movie because of how many moments stand out.

Even if Twitter wasn’t a thing and we weren’t using Mean Girl GIFs, the quotes are top-of-mind.

I would think that comedy movies that came after this stole their script-writing formula. Build the story around great one-liners. You just have to make sure the jokes land. If they don’t land, they’ll hover like a swarm of flies in the summer. No one likes that.

Let’s run through some of the standout quotes because that’s what you came here for, isn’t it?

“She doesn’t even go here!” – Damian

This line was all in the delivery. It was perfect. I like that we can laugh about a girl sneaking into a school she doesn’t attend because in real life, that would be kind of terrifying.

“Oh my God, Danny DeVito, I love your work!” – Damian

I laughed harder for this line than any other line, or moment, in the movie. This killed me. I rewound and watched it multiple times. I’m laughing as I’m writing this. Pure brilliance.

“Four for you Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco!” – Damian

Again, all in the delivery. Also helped that “go” and “Coco” rhymed. I’m overanalyzing this now. It was a fun moment.

This line was said while “Santa” was handing out candy grams to students. Upon seeing that, I immediately wondered if this movie had created the concept of candy grams and if schools stole it after the movie came out.

This is the downside of watching a 2004 film in 2021. I don’t know what had a cultural impact and what already existed.

“That is so fetch!” – Gretchen

I still don’t know what this means, but I’ll support it.

“Get in loser, we’re going shopping.” – Regina

I can only imagine how many girls have said this to their friends.

“On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was. It’s October 3rd.” – Cady

If I didn’t know how popular this quote was, or that it turned October 3rd into Mean Girls Day, I probably would’ve forgotten it was even in the movie.

It was a scene that was in the middle of a montage and was less than four seconds, you realize that, right?

“You can’t sit with us!” – Gretchen

A stickler for the arbitrary rules, that Gretchen Wieners!

Lines like that make me wonder how many kids heard that line in a cafeteria and had to go sit by themselves. Heck, most of this movie made me wonder how many people adopted the personality of the “mean girls” and bullied others, as a result.

“On Wednesdays, we wear pink!” – Karen

Such a good line. Don’t know if I’ve ever worn pink. I’m more of a purple guy.

Did girls follow the Plastics dress code in real life? The whole thing about tank tops, vest, jeans, sweatpants, and ponytails? I lost track.

“I have a fifth sense.” – Karen

Karen’s character was a perfect compliment for the rest of the cast.

“I can’t go out. I’m sick. (Fake cough).” – Karen

Who among us hasn’t fake coughed at some point in our lives?

“I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy.” – The Girl That Doesn’t Even Go Here

Well, maybe if she stopped at home before invading a school she didn’t go to, she could’ve baked that cake!

Nah, I’m being too harsh. It was a nice thought.

“Gretchen, I’m sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Noble. And I’m sorry for telling everyone about it. And I’m sorry for repeating it now.” – Karen

Outside of the Danny DeVito line, this one made me laugh the hardest. I already knew about it going into the movie, but it’s just so good.

As I’m writing these quotes, Karen is really growing on me. Not enough to overtake Gretchen in the Plastics Power Rankings, though.

“I’m a mouse, duh.” – Karen

Halloween costumes. You all can discuss them.

“The limit does not exist!” – Cady

Never has a math term been so exciting.

Final Verdict

Okay, so it’s a movie from 2004, which means it contains elements that are so obviously offensive yet, somehow, acceptable at the time. What a shame. This movie is not devoid of problems – you can Google the articles about them for a more thorough look.

There were racist jokes that were never funny, as well stereotypes that were enforced – looking at you, lunch scene.

Regina’s character used the R-word a bunch of times and I was uncomfortable every time.

I recognize that the movie is based on “mean girls” and outlining the high school experience of teenage girls. It was eye-opening. It made me understand things in a different light.

At the same time, I couldn’t help but worry that some of the “mean behaviour” from this movie would be mimicked by adolescents who thought that it was okay, or cool.

I’m not a father, but I feel like I said that as if I’m a concerned father.

I’ve worked with children before and have seen how impressionable they are, and how quick they are to mimic someone else. Certain behaviours in this movie made me worried that they’d be applied in school and used to make a student feel less-than, or unwelcome.

That being said, I am aware that one source of media isn’t the root of all that is evil. So, don’t come at me – I’m just a concerned non-father. Let me live.

Problems aside, I will say that I really enjoyed the movie and thought it was funny!

There were so many memorable scenes and moments, as well as quotes that people will still be saying 50 years from now. I’m sure multiple people have already named their child, Glenn Coco.

I don’t know what it’s like to be a girl in high school. It’s not my place to sit here and preach, “girls shouldn’t treat each other like that!”, so I won’t.

I am glad I finally watched Mean Girls. I feel like I am fully in on the jokes now, so that feels nice.

There are parts of this movie I problem forgot to talk about, so if you’re curious about my thoughts on something, just ask.

If you read all of this, thank you!

I look forward to hearing from you in the comments.

What are your thoughts on Mean Girls? How old were you when you first saw it? What affect did the movie have on you? Can you view your high school experience through the lens of this movie?

What was your favourite line? Who is your favourite mean girl? Do you wear pink on Wednesdays?

Anything else you’d like to share?

You Need A Quarterback

The NFL Draft is tonight in Cleveland, Ohio. Dreams will come true, chaos will ensue, and when a Quarterback falls to the New England Patriots at 15, everyone will boo.

I can’t wait. Get your popcorn ready; mine has been popped and waiting in the microwave for at least a month.

I love drafts, especially when they go off the rails. If any team, in any league, has an extra chair in the boardroom when draft discussions are taking place, please let me have it. I will sit quietly in the corner and order copious amounts of food. Just give me the company credit card signal.

Nothing is normal in the world and I don’t expect this draft to be any different.

Here are my thoughts on what may, or may not, happen this evening. I’ll break this up into sections so it’s easier to read. If you don’t know anything about football, you still might enjoy this.

The Most Important Position in Sports

I am of the belief that a team must have one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL, in order to win the Super Bowl. Yes, there have been some exceptions. You can yell Joe Flacco and Nick Foles at me all you want.

I think a lot of teams live in constant denial, thinking “their guy” is the guy to take them to the promised land. Or, they’re worried about changing course too many times, making them look incompetent, thus affecting their job security.

As a result, they pass up on taking a Quarterback in the draft and fill their team needs, instead, because who’s going to fault a GM for getting what they need?

If I were a General Manager in the NFL, my #1 team need AT ALL TIMES is Quarterback. Check that: a Star Quarterback.

I don’t want a “System Quarterback”. I don’t want a guy who can “Move The Chains”. I want a superstar. I want the face of the NFL. I want the guy who Madden wants on the cover of their video game. I want the guy who’s jersey will be bought by the fans of other teams.

That is who I want.

Those guys are hard to find, so you might have to settle for a capable Quarterback for a few years before you get a chance at a potential superstar. Fine. Just don’t get married to mediocrity and convince yourself it’s everything you ever wanted.

It baffles me every year to see so many teams be so nearsighted in their selections. Particularly, the teams with a top 10 pick.

If you have a top 10 pick, it means you are not good. It also means you probably don’t have a Quarterback that is one day going to take you to the Super Bowl.

So, take a swing at a Quarterback!

I think teams are scarred from what Chicago did in 2017, when they traded up to the #2 pick and took Mitch Trubisky. Patrick Mahomes went 10th and Deshaun Watson went 12th. You know the story.

Trubisky was a bust. Mahomes is getting paid half a billion dollars. And Watson was a star by Week 4 of his rookie year.

No GM wants to take the wrong guy, especially if someone like Mahomes was still available. It’s a disaster. You’ll be screaming into a pillow for the rest of your life.

However, I kind of applaud Chicago for doing what they did. A franchise that has needed a Quarterback since the beginning of time, went and got “their guy”. It didn’t turn out well, but they had guts.

The next seven teams in the draft also passed on Patrick Mahomes. Let’s not give them a free pass. You can retroactively make an excuse for almost every team, saying, “Oh, they had this guy who just got there and they were really high on him.”

Okay, but what was the New York Jets’ excuse? They had Josh McCown start 13 games for them that year, at the age of 38. Bryce Petty started 3 games. They took Christian Hackenberg in the 2nd round in 2016, but he never got in a game.

About 87 flashing lights and alarms should’ve been going off in their war room on Draft Night in 2017, alerting them that they needed a Quarterback. You could take Mahomes or Watson.

Even if they turned out to be a bust, it would’ve been the right decision. Why? Because you needed a Quarterback!

And this is what I’m talking about.

Teams that should draft a Quarterback, convince themselves they don’t need to draft a Quarterback. It is the funniest, and most baffling, aspect of every NFL Draft.

AARON RODGERS FELL TO 24 IN THE ’05 DRAFT BECAUSE NO ONE BETWEEN PICK 2-23 FELT LIKE THEY “NEEDED A QUARTERBACK”??

News Flash: The best time to draft a Quarterback is before you need one, which means you always need a Quarterback.

Quarterback is the most important position in sports.

If you don’t have a really good one, nothing else matters. You’re just employing athletes at that point.

The Top 5 Quarterbacks

If you want thorough scouting reports, I am not your guy.

If you want the opinion of someone who watched 10 minutes of YouTube highlights, of each of the Top 5 Quarterbacks in this draft, then today is your lucky day!

What I’m looking for in a 2021 QB is someone who makes throwing the football look effortless. Almost like a whip/sling motion. I am looking for someone who is mobile, can improvise, and then make throws from awkward body positions.

I’m looking for the next Patrick Mahomes, okay. If you’re looking for the next Tom Brady, I’m afraid you’re 10 years too late.

This is how I rank the consensus Top 5 QBs based on watching their highlights on YouTube.

1. Trevor Lawrence: This has been obvious for the last three years.

2. Zach Wilson: I think he’s my favourite QB in the draft. He seems to possess that Mahomesian style of “wing it and sling it.” In 15 years, every QB in the league will be of that style.

3. Trey Lance: From the highlights I saw, he looks like Lamar Jackson but with Patrick Mahomes’ throwing ability. I know he only played 1 game in 2020 and people are saying he’s “raw”, but the talent is undeniable. He reminds me of Tracy McGrady when he first entered the NBA. None of you will understand that comparison. It’s fine.

4. Justin Fields: I know he gets the Russell Wilson comparison, but he reminds me of Cam Newton (he probably also gets this comparison). I wasn’t blown away like I was for the three guys above him, but he’s good.

5. Mac Jones: He is your classic pocket Quarterback. If this were 2005, fans of the 49ers wouldn’t be so irate with their team (probably) taking him at #3. From the highlights I saw, his receivers always seemed to be wide open. That’s Alabama for you, I guess. I don’t know how that translates in the NFL.

What’s Everyone Doing?

By my count, there are at least 11 teams in the top 20 who should draft a Quarterback. That number goes up to 15, if I’m being brutally honest.

The Cincinnati Bengals, Dallas Cowboys, Los Angeles Chargers, and Arizona Cardinals have, in my opinion, Quarterbacks who are/can be upper election QBs in the NFL.

Everyone else in the Top 20 is fooling themselves, or will realize within the next two years that “their guy” just isn’t working out.

Let’s go through the draft order.

1. Jacksonville
They are taking Trevor Lawrence.

2. New York Jets
They are taking Zach Wilson.

3. San Francisco 49ers
It sounds like they want to take Mac Jones, but are also considering Trey Lance. Jones seems to be the better fit for Head Coach Kyle Shanahan’s system. Their fans have been irate on Twitter for the last few days because they don’t want Jones.

Actually, I think they just don’t want him 3rd overall.

The 49ers traded three first-round picks and a third-round pick, in order to move up from 12th overall. That is ludicrous, but I respect it because they are actively going after someone they think can be their star Quarterback.

However, drafting a guy 3rd overall because he “fits your system”, over a guy who is more talented, doesn’t sit well with a lot of people. If they stayed at 12 and got Jones, I don’t think fans would mind.

It’s complicated.

4. Atlanta Falcons
They’ll probably take Kyle Pitts, who will be a star pass-catcher for many years. However, I think they need a Quarterback. The excuse I heard on TV last night was Matt Ryan will be their QB for another two years and they don’t want someone like Trey Lance sitting for that long.

Hello? That’s exactly what you want. In 2023, when Trey Lance is an MVP candidate, the Falcons are going to look silly.

I rescind that comment if Lance is a bust.

This isn’t directed at the Falcons, as much as it is the football world: I hate the whole, “Oh, we can’t get a new QB because we have this guy.”

Well, if this guy isn’t winning you a Super Bowl, then stop wasting your time! Try something else!

5. Cincinatti Bengals
Should probably take an Offensive Lineman, but it’s the Bengals so they’ll probably take Joe Burrow’s pal from LSU – Wide Receiver, Ja’Marr Chase. It wouldn’t be a bad pick.

6. Miami Dolphins
I am not sold on Tua Tagovailoa as an NFL QB, at all.

I would love for teams to stockpile Top 10 QBs in back-to-back drafts and then have them battle it out internally. But no. These teams put all their eggs in one basket and by the time the basket breaks, they’ve lost three seasons and have to start all over.

7. Detroit Lions
I like Jared Goff, but if this were a video game and Trey Lance and Justin Fields were still available, I’d take them just to have a Plan B. This is real life, though. They’ll build around Goff and give him a chance, which is fair. I think he deserves that chance.

8. Carolina Panthers
I won’t lie, I’m curious to see what Sam Darnold does for them. I’d still draft a QB, though.

I mentioned it with Miami – teams are hellbent on having one Quarterback and a “capable backup” which is code for “not a threat to take your starting job”.

I think teams are terrified of Quarterback controversies, which are largely media and fan driven, so they avoid them altogether.

Personally, I like having options, especially when your starter isn’t a superstar.

9. Denver Broncos
They just traded for Teddy Bridgewater, to go along with Drew Lock. So, does that mean they’re not taking a Quarterback? Are they going to trade down??

What a mistake.

Look, both those guys are fine. I like Lock more than most people. However, I just described them as “fine”. “Fine” does not win you Super Bowls, especially when Mahomes is in your division.

If Trey Lance is still on the board and Denver doesn’t take him, I’m going to be mad at them. And I say this as a Chiefs fan.

You know how you beat the Chiefs? You keep Mahomes off the field. You do that by keeping your offence on the field. A guy like Trey Lance can run for a first down in his sleep. That keeps his team on the field. That keeps Mahomes on the bench.

Yes, I’m assuming Trey Lance is going to be a superstar based off ten minutes of highlights.

And if he’s not, at least you took a swing at talent. Right now, you know what Bridgewater and Lock are. And they aren’t enough, I’m afraid.

OH, and just think about how out of breath Lance will have defences when they’re chasing after him in the high altitude of Denver, Colorado.

10. Dallas Cowboys
You just know Jerry Jones is itching for another offensive weapon he doesn’t need, while the rest of his front office is freaking out in a group chat.

11. New York Giants
I can see them trading down, if only to block the Patriots from getting a QB.

Las Vegas, Washington, Chicago, and Pittsburgh – you better have the Giants’ phone number written on your hand, if not on speed dial. Go get Justin Fields.

12. Philadelphia Eagles
Will they take a top ranked Wide Receiver just to prove that they can, or….?

13. Los Angeles Chargers
Definitely not taking a QB.

14. Minnesota Vikings
When I say teams are in denial about how good their Quarterback is, the Vikings are one of the teams I’m talking about. They have Kirk Cousins under contract for another two years. It’s kind of the same situation the Falcons are in with Matt Ryan.

I look forward to the 2023 draft when both teams trade up in the first round to take a QB.

See, that’s why I want teams to draft a QB before they need one. You can let them sit for a year and learn. That might save you from having to trade up in a future draft.

15. New England Patriots
They’re walking out of the first round with a Quarterback and everyone will be like, “How could these teams let a QB fall to the Patriots!?”

I’m going to skip some teams now.

17. Las Vegas Raiders
I like Derek Carr, but you’re in a division with Patrick Mahomes. Justin Herbert looks like he’s going to be a problem, too. Carr has one winning season, out of seven.

Yes, it’s the Raiders and they haven’t been good lately, but how much longer is this relationship going to last before the team tries something different?

20. Chicago Bears
Trade up for a QB. DO IT. DO IT.

They are terrified of trading up and picking the wrong guy again, aren’t they?

They’ll wait until only one of the Top 5 QBs is left before trying to trade up, won’t they? That way, if they get it wrong, no one will say, “You could’ve picked ____.”

Poor Bears. They’re traumatized.

24. Pittsburgh Steelers
Their biggest need is a transition plan for when Ben Roethlisberger reaches the end of his career. Their defence is good. They have weapons on offence.

When it’s time to move on from Big Ben, it could be as simple as replacing a battery. But who is that new battery, where are they getting it from, and when?

Conclusion

I’ve written a lot. Most of you probably stopped reading about 1500 words ago. If you made it this far, thank you!

By no means are the Top 5 Quarterbacks of this draft a lock to be successful in the NFL. However, if smart people are saying they are first round talent and any of them could be taken in the top 10, then I think teams who need a Quarterback should take a swing at one of them in this draft.

Some advice for the NFL executives who will never read this post and won’t listen to me if they do:

You can’t win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket.

If the Quarterback on your team isn’t a starter on fantasy football teams, you’re not winning a Super Bowl with them. Move on.

You need a Quarterback.

That’s all I have to say.

First Time Watching: Pitch Perfect 3

Well, this was a movie.

I don’t even know where to begin. I feel like I’m on the Long Answer section of an exam and can’t muster up the energy to answer a question that’s worth 20 marks.

Maybe I’ll just look around for a couple of minutes, pretend like I’m thinking, and then get to it.

All right, here we go.

Synopsis

The Barden Bellas have graduated from university and they hate their lives because finding something that makes you happy, and pays well, is harder than anyone ever told them it would be.

They all reunite and decide to go on a United Service Organizations (USO) tour. They, and three other bands, will be performing on ships and different bases around the world(?) and at the end, one group will be given the opportunity to open for DJ Khaled.

Along the way, Amy’s estranged father enters the picture because Amy has $180 million in an offshore bank account that he wants. He kidnaps the Bellas and holds them on a boat for ransom. Amy sets off a bomb on the boat, the girls escape, and her father is arrested.

Beca is chosen to open for DJ Khaled, not the group. But they join her while she’s performing, so I guess they all won in the end?

Nothing makes sense.

Father Stalker of the Year

The Bellas are staying at a hotel in Spain, when Amy enters her room and sees a stuffed animal on her bed. It’s hers, from when she was a child. She looks out the window and there is her father, walking away.

This is how we are introduced to him.

First off, what kind of shabby hotel room security is that? Second, he just happened to have her stuffed animal on hand with him? Is that the new “keep a photo of your kid in your wallet”?

The only reason he’s back in her life is because he wants access to $180 million.

The whole storyline was baffling because it had nothing to do with singing. It turned a comedic series about an a cappella group into an action movie. I didn’t really care for it.

Amy

The “Fat Amy” character kind of outgrew the whole a cappella thing, I think. They could’ve easily made a spin-off movie about her and had no singing in it, and it would’ve been great.

I think that’s why they gave us the father storyline, even though it wasn’t the best.

Always having to connect her hijinks back to the group, limited what her character could do.

Post-University Life

Seeing all of them struggle with life after school was probably the most relatable part of the entire trilogy. I wouldn’t have minded if they made the entire movie about it, rather than reuniting, but I guess the whole premise of Pitch Perfect is for this group to perform songs.

DJ Khaled

I’ll be honest, I don’t get the hype.

All the respect to him for becoming a global name and for preaching positivity, but it never registered with me. Five years ago, all anyone ever said was “Another one” and “Major key” and I’m over here like, “Yeah, okay.”

Again, nothing against him, I just don’t get it. I’m old.

For half the movie, DJ Khaled’s role consisted of him looking at his phone. When he finally got to speak, he tried to break up the Bellas by only picking Beca to open for him. What a villain!

Beca declines the offer because Anna Kendrick wouldn’t hurt a fly, let alone her a cappella group. But then the group talks her into doing it…but then they end up joining her on stage anyway.

I’m sure that broke some sort of contract or, at the very least, was illegal. Can you have audience members perform on stage without signing some sort of form?

Life is all about filling out confusing documents and I didn’t see any in this movie. Very suspicious.

The USO Tour

I’ll be honest, I had no idea what USO stood for until I started writing this post. United States Operaphany was my best guess.

I understand the need to have the Bellas compete for something. I just felt like this was a really weak way to do it.

The standoff between the a cappella group and the three bands who use instruments was quite fun, but that was only one scene.

The singing didn’t seem to be the main focus of the movie at all. It was usurped by Amy’s father being a terrible person.

A Different Route

During the closing credits of Pitch Perfect 2, Bumper auditioned for The Voice.

Instead of the USO tour and competing for the prize of opening for DJ Khaled, why couldn’t they put the Bellas on a competition show? They could’ve created the fictional equivalent to America’s Got Talent, or something.

There would have been so many potential storylines, as a result. Perhaps another act tries to sabotage them. Maybe the judges really hate them, but the fans keep voting for them. Maybe Beca gets offered a record deal, but must exit the show in order to accept it, and that causes a rift (they love rifts).

Personally, that sounds a lot better, but I’m not a Hollywood writer.

Final Verdict

So, I’ve completed the trilogy now. I liked the first one the best and the third one the least. You can figure out where the second one slots in.

Honestly, it didn’t really matter what the plot for this movie was because people were going to go see it, regardless. It grossed $185 million worldwide – the second-highest grossing musical comedy of all time, behind Pitch Perfect 2.

It felt like they were dead set on having characters jump away from an explosion in this movie, as to go out with a bang – that scene probably made all the previews – so they crafted a story that lead to just that.

They had such a talented cast and, dare I say, wasted them on a plot that made very little sense. It also wasn’t that interesting. That’s just my opinion.

It’s like professional wrestling. You like the characters involved, but the storyline isn’t doing them any favours, so they’re just trying to do the best with what they’re given.

As I’ve said before, what do I know? Maybe I don’t know what entertainment is.

What are your thoughts on Pitch Perfect 3?

Food Findings with Chef Paulo

Bonjour and hello! This is Chef Paulo coming to you live from my kitchen for the first time since this day, last year. They shut down my Paulo’s Kitchen studio, fired my staff, took away my sponsors, and said we were on “hate us” which they incorrectly spell as “hiatus”.

But here Paulo is – back on his feet, walking to the kitchen, ready to open the fridge and every cabinet just to see if anything moved. You can never be too sure. Toy Story was an eyeopener.

Today, Chef Paulo will become Professor Paulo. There will be no cooking, only teaching. Because, you see, Paulo has a gift of knowledge and if Paulo doesn’t share this knowledge, it goes stale.

Do you know what happens when knowledge goes stale? It starts to smell. That is where body odour comes from. So, here I am, Professor Paulo, deodorizing my brain.

I will list some foods and tell you about them. Okay? Is that okay? Okay. Think of it as a closer look, but not too close. If you get too close to food, you’ll get your nose in it.

We don’t want risotto up the nostro, now do we?

Okay, here we go. I have done some research in order to understand food better. Here are my food findings. Notice how I put them in alphabet soup order. So clever.

Apple
Some of you may have a Macintosh computer. Did you know they were going to call it Granny Smith, but someone said that would be agist? True story. Paulo wouldn’t lie.

Banana
The food of the goats. The baaaaaaaanana ooh nana. There are multiple songs about it, too. Goats sing it at karaoke.

Coffee
Have a case of the coughs? Have some coffee and you’ll be cleared up before you get to the letter “E” in the alphabet soup. Trust Dr. Professor Chef Paulo.

Donut
The best type of nut. Some people say almond. Not Paulo! Almond is just short for Almonday. It’s a trick. No one likes Mondays!

Egg Rolls
Ah yes, egg rolls are very popular at Easter. Beware the ones that are painted, though. It means a child did it at school. Therefore, they are counterfeit. Don’t trust it, Paulo knows.

Figgy Pudding
It’s in that Christmas song. People always say I sing the song wrong, but I think it’s just right. “So bring us our figgy pudding, we won’t leave ’till we get some!” Must’ve been a potluck!

Gingerbread Man
You didn’t hear this from Paulo, but when you lose your appetite, the gingerbread man puts a cookie under your pillow when you’re asleep. I think he’s in cahoots with the tooth fairy.

Halibut
Always a “but” with this one. It’s time they take some accountability, just for the halibut.

Ice Cream
I scream. You scream. I scream again. You ask me why I’m screaming. I say it’s because you screamed. You say you screamed because I screamed. It just melts my brain.

Jimmies
They’re not mine. They’re not yours. They’re Jimmy’s! Trust Paulo, I know.

Ketchup
My friend said, “Do you want to catch up?” I said, “No, I don’t have any french fries.”

Lobster
Never trust them. Chef Paulo has heard about The Sopranos. You don’t want to get caught with your hand in the tomato sauce pot when it comes to that lobster family. Too much crime.

Mozzarella
This is a good word to say if you need to exercise your tongue. Try it at home. Mozzarella. Mozzarella. Mozzarella. Very good. Further research needs to be done when it comes to the phrase, “You can stand under my mozzarella ella ella eh.” Uh no. You can’t. My cheese.

Nuggets
Don’t pick your nose, kids. It’s not a happy meal.

Once Baked Potato
You put it in the oven. You bake it. You take it out. You eat it. We don’t double dip this potato in the oven. We do it once.

Pound Cake
In some parts of the world, it’s known as a Kilogram Cake.

Quarter Pounder
In some parts of the world, it’s known as a Quarter Kilogrammer. McDonald’s knows how to cater to each market.

Rainbow Trout
You know what you find at the end of a rainbow trout? Not gold. Trust Paulo on this one. Don’t touch it.

Scallop
You know how a horse gallops? Well, when fishes swim really fast, they’re scalloping. I may or may not have interviewed Nemo about this before he scalloped away.

Twice Baked Potato
You put it in the oven. You bake it. You take it out. You do the okie dokie and turn yourself around. You put it back in the oven. You take it out. All done! So undercooked, you baked it twice! Good for you.

Unsalted Cashews
These things are a trick and a treat. I must not say more. The scaresquirrels are listening.

Vinegar
The older you get, the more you use vinegar to clean. It’s a scientific fact. You start waking up with aches and pains and a desire to use vinegar on the floors. Trust Paulo, he knows.

Wheat
No one ever tells you why you should never eat shredded wheat. They just say it and then start pointing in different directions to cause a distraction. Paulo is onto them. No more direction distractions until we get to the bottom of this!

Xtra Bread For The Table?
Who says no? Nobody says no.

Yolk
When you tell a joke that involves eggs, the punchline is: “Yolk’s on the pan!” Immediate laughs. It’s what the kids in 2003 called, “Funny because it’s true.” You’ll see.

Zucchini
Let me give you a tip, okay? When you go to the zoo, wear cargo shorts. That way, you will have somewhere to put your keys. They’ll always be by your knee. All you have to remember is the word, “Zucchini”. Zoo. Key. Knee. Never fails.

Well, would you look at that, we’ve finished our alphabet soup!

This has been a treat, as opposed to a trick. Again, let’s keep our voices down. Those darn scaresquirrels are always eavestroughing.

I hope you learned a thing or two today about food. My knowledge is now your knowledge and it’s as they always say, “Knowledge is our.” We both own it now.

I have been Chef Paulo and you have been my captive audience. Hopefully, we can do this again in the future – maybe even whip up a meal.

Paulo misses his live studio audience and freebies from sponsors. I need another another keychain.

But for now, I say thank you, goodnight, and remember – the bread is not going to butter itself!

First Time Watching: Pitch Perfect 2

The phrase, “First is the worst, second is the best” doesn’t always hold true when it comes to movie sequels. I think about the Harry Potter series and how I always liked the “voyage to Hogwarts” aspect of the early movies, as well as the sorting hat tradition.

As the series went on, those two things weren’t really a big deal anymore. I understand why. However, you never forget the reason why you first fell in love with something. And when those reasons are no longer visible, what do you have?

Sorry, this is getting deep.

What I’m getting at is the first Pitch Perfect movie felt like gaining a new best friend and Pitch Perfect 2 felt like watching that friend get famous and, as a result, forget about you.

Synopsis

It’s three years later and the Barden Bellas – an all-girls a cappella group – are three-time champions, but Patricia (Fat Amy) rips her pants during a performance, exposing herself to the crowd. In the audience is Barack Obama, with his wife Michelle.

This accident is made out to be the worst thing in the history of things. Therefore, the Bellas are suspended from competing. But wait, they can still compete at the World Championships in Denmark, representing the United States. If they win, they’ll be reinstated.

As you’d expect, they win the World Championship and defeat their rival, Germany.

I’ll get into that, and many more plot points, as we go. Stay tuned.

A Hop, Skip, and a Time Jump?

Teen drama shows will start with their characters as freshmen in high school, just to extend the runway of the show. They’re terrified of the “college years”, so four years of high school equating to four seasons of television, is good enough for them.

In this case, we had a movie starting on the first day of college. Alright, they still gave themselves a four-year runway for four movies. NOPE. They went and did a three-year time jump, so the characters are ready to graduate at the end of this movie.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

I understand it was released three years after the first one and if they were trying to stay on a graduation timeline – so it synced with a real life calendar – then they had to do it. I think. The math is weird.

There was a “Welcome Class of 2018” banner in this movie, so does that mean it was 2014 in the movie? And does that mean it was 2010 when the first one came out in 2012?

Je suis lost.

Stay In Your Own World

The whole montage of real-life television personalities reacting to Amy ripping her pants in front of the President, is not something I cared for. This is probably just a me thing.

I don’t like movies blending their world with the real world. Even the Robin Roberts cameo with the Barden Bella alumni was a bit much.

It just felt like the movie was saying, “We’re popular now. Check out all of our cool celebrity friends!” Any shot at a wholesome film is instantly lost. Give me Kimmy Jin over the celebrity cameos.

Iceland vs. Mighty Ducks

As I mentioned earlier, the Barden Bellas are representing the United States at the A Cappella World Championships. Their main rival is a group from Germany called, Das Sound Machine.

They are good. They are expected to win. They wear black. They are intimidating. There are many of them.

They are basically Team Iceland from D2: The Mighty Ducks.

All of the similarities are there. It’s a blatant rip-off. I guess they didn’t expect the viewers of that movie to watch this movie, but I caught them red-handed, six years later.

The Plot?

I’ll preface this section by saying: I don’t know anything.

However, it was odd to me that after the popularity of the first movie, they came back for a sequel and within the first ten minutes, took away everything people like about the first film.

Oh, you like this group of actors singing a cappella mashups? Too bad! They’re suspended! Enjoy the other storylines we are putting in to kill time, until they finally perform at the end!

I think the “scandal” and “suspension” of the Barden Bellas was done because if it wasn’t, they’d basically be re-telling the first film. We don’t need to see them go to different events, trying to qualify for the Finals.

So, in a way, I get it.

At the same time, you pull the rug out from under your audience by immediately telling them that there aren’t going to be as many a cappella performances as they were expecting.

Again, I don’t know anything. Maybe this was the way to go. From a behind-the-scenes perspective, they only have so much time to film, and memorize choreography, and sing.

Legacy & Benji

A new girl joins the Barden Bellas, even though they aren’t allowed to accept new recruits. But because she went to them, it’s fine. Her name is Emily, which I had to look up on Wikipedia because they called her “Legacy” most of the time.

Her mom used to be a Barden Bella. Hence, she’s continuing a legacy. Hence, Legacy.

Anyway, her and awkward Benji become a couple, I think. It felt like they were recreating how Beca and Jesse became a couple in the first movie, but without any conflict because Benji can’t put enough coherent words together in a row for there to ever be a conflict.

Speaking of Beca and Jesse, there was very little interaction between them in this movie. This doesn’t look good for their future. I can see it now.

I’m expecting them to be “on a break” due to “different career paths” and agreeing to “see other people” in the next movie.

Beca’s Internship

Beca received an internship at a recording studio and only told Jesse about it. Amy eventually found out, too.

Soooo are the Barden Bellas not a close-knit group of friends? After all these years together? You mean to tell me that Beca didn’t feel comfortable telling them she had an internship?

Come on.

This came to a “boiling point” when Beca claimed the other girls weren’t thinking about their futures. And then she got stuck in a bear trap and apologized for being harsh.

In an alternate universe, maybe Beca tells the other Bellas right away about her internship and they’re excited for her. But wait! As we get closer to the World Championships, the Bellas realize that the internship is distracting Beca from putting together the best performance possible.

“You only care about your future and not OUR present. Harrumph!” – Someone

The Bellas walk out on her at practice. There’s a full-fledged mutiny. Amy kicks a bucket. Someone says, “What’s the point of going to Denmark if we’re just going to embarrass ourselves?

It’s over. The Bellas are done.

And then Beca wins them back by singing outside their house, or something cheesy.

That was my audition to write the fourth film, if anyone cares.

The whole internship thing felt like a movie within a movie. Don’t you dare say “inception”.

Beca’s boss isn’t really impressed by anything she does, so Beca decides to produce one of Legacy’s original songs. That wins him over.

Sure, fine. I like my version a bit better.

Green Bay Packers

Some players from the Green Bay Packers were in the movie as an a cappella group participating in a competition in some guy’s basement.

I recognized two of them.

It was incredibly random.

The Obamas Did Nothing?

As I said before, the movie started out with a performance in front of the Obamas. As a result of Amy ripping her pants during that performance, the team was suspended for the season.

It was deemed to be a huge scandal that everyone knew about.

Well, did anyone tell the Obamas? Did Barack or Michelle see it on Twitter?

Surely, if they had, they would’ve said something like, “No no, don’t suspend these hard-working students from their passion. It was an accident. It’s not a big deal.”

NOPE.

Any Way You Want It

At the A Cappella World Championships in Copenhagen, Denmark, it was obviously all about Germany vs. United States. But to show that other countries were there, they showed a montage of all of them singing THE SAME SONG.

Every other country sang, “Any Way You Want It” by Journey. Did they plan that? Were they in, dare I say, CAHOOTS?

From a movie-making perspective, it was the easiest way to showcase every country in a montage. However, you may realize that I don’t really analyze movies in that way.

I want the fiction on the screen to be real.

When it was time for the German team to perform, I was almost expecting them to sing “Any Way You Want It” because maybe it was a requirement? I don’t know the rules; you never know.

They didn’t sing it and neither did Team USA.

What a journey.

Final Verdict

I don’t like poking holes in movies. A lot of people work really hard and do the best they can to provide entertainment for millions of people around the world. I don’t want to be critical.

That being said, this is a blog where I like to overanalyze small details with the accompaniment of a witty tone because exposing the lack of logic in a fictional story is fun to me, I guess.

Just know, I’m not taking this too seriously and you shouldn’t either.

At the end of the day, I preferred the first movie. That’s all.

I don’t know where they go with the third film, since they already time-jumped their way through college, but I guess that’s for me to find out (don’t spoil it for me).

Thanks for reading!

Have you seen Pitch Perfect 2? What did you think of it?

First Time Watching: Pitch Perfect

Whenever I hear about Pitch Perfect or Fever Pitch, it takes me a second to decipher which movie has Drew Barrymore illegally running across the field at Fenway Park to Jimmy Fallon, and which one is about singing.

This post is not about Fever Pitch, though I’m sure I’ll mention it again at some point, out of confusion.

The other day, I watched Pitch Perfect for the first time. Here is how that viewing experience went.

Before I Watched

I knew Anna Kendrick and Rebel Wilson were in the movie and that singing was involved, as opposed to running across a baseball field. See: Perfect Fever. Nope. See: Perfect Pitch. AH. See: Fever Pitch.

As far as I can tell, Rebel Wilson is hilarious.

I’m also a fan of Anna Kendrick. For some reason, she seems more like a “real person” than a “celebrity”, which is cool. Plus, I remember going to the movies with some friends in 2010, but the movie we (they) wanted to see was sold out, so we watched Up in the Air, instead.

Kendrick was really good in that, so I pat myself on the back for “discovering” her before she was a major star.

What can I say? I have two eyes for talent.

Synopsis

Anna Kendrick (Beca) goes to college with a “too cool for school” attitude and ultimately finds herself in an all-girls a cappella group, where she helps them evolve from their traditional, boring style, into something that actually entertains the crowd. The group ends up winning the A Cappella Championship.

There is also a lot of vomiting.

Instead of me writing out every detail of the plot, I’ll pick out some moments to talk about.

Oh, It’s 2012 Again!

Pitch Perfect came out in 2012 and holy cannoli, does it ever show. As regular humans (muggles), I don’t think we realize the subtle changes in fashion that gradually add up over the course of nine years.

This movie was full of the classic college looks. Guys with checkerboard shorts and American Eagle t-shirts, as well as a t-shirt and zip-up hoodie – that is always 60% zipped up – for every occasion.

There were also a lot of jeans. I think there was a dark jeans phase back then, but I’m not the one to ask about that.

The word “aesthetic” is grossly overused, so forgive me, but the whole aesthetic of the movie screamed 2012. It was a fun reminder of a time when our collective “worry” was that the world might end on December 21. Now, the world ends every day.

Move-In Day

I have a soft spot for college move-in days. If you just sit back and watch the chaos unfold, they are unintentionally hilarious. Where else can you watch someone carry a mini-fridge up a flight of stairs? Where else can you watch someone drop a case of toilet paper in a parking lot and not notice?

Where else can you see someone’s younger sibling carry light items into residence, only for a random adult to go up to them and jokingly assume that they are the one moving in.

The whole thing is comical.

The move-in day moment in this movie that had me laughing was when Beca (Anna Kendrick) arrived and was greeted by an upbeat helper, wearing a bright t-shirt – that’s how you know they are there to assist.

The upbeat helper said, “What you’re gonna do is…” and then turned around to point in a bunch of directions.

Man, if I had a chocolate cake for every time I’ve seen that interaction play out.

It probably wasn’t a moment that anyone else watching the movie laughed at, but it cracked me up.

Kimmy Jin is my friend. No.

Ever notice how college students in TV shows and movies rarely, if ever, have a single room? They always have a roommate and it’s normally someone with whom they have nothing in common. And the roommate is normally fully moved in, as if they’ve been there for weeks.

Beca’s roommate is Kimmy Jin, whose main character trait is, “giving the cold shoulder to Beca”, I guess. I figured they were setting the viewer up for a moment where Kimmy Jin “saves the day”, or has a real conversation with Beca.

But that never happened. Her character stayed at 35 Fahrenheit the entire movie. I kind of enjoyed it. I just expected there to be some sort of payoff.

Maybe I’ve been programmed into expecting quiet characters to all of a sudden burst into dialogue in the back half of a movie. Perhaps, they don’t need a character arc.

You be you, Kimmy Jin.

The Vomit

If vomit isn’t your thing, you can skip this part. This is your only warning.

The movie begins with last year’s all-girl a cappella group, the Barden Bellas, performing on stage at the a cappella Finals. Things go south when one member, Aubrey, starts vomiting so so so SO violently. She looked like a broken fire hydrant.

Later in the movie, she did it again during rehearsals. This time, intentionally. Again, broken fire hydrant. AND THEN, one girl – the quiet one – fell in it and did snow angels. SNOW ANGELS. Vomit Angels?

The whole thing was disgusting.

One thing about Aubrey, though. Whenever she did this, she immediately recovered. You’d think that throwing up your last 8 meals – I’m estimating – would have you pretty knocked out and feeling weak, right? I mean, I’d want to go lie down.

Not Aubrey, though! She was fine. Didn’t even have to clean any chunks off her face.

Rebel Wilson Stole The Show

Playing the role of “Fat Amy”, whose real name is actually Patricia(?), Rebel Wilson was hilarious. I understand all the memes from 2013 now.

For me, the funniest part of the movie was when Amy (I’m not calling her Fat) stopped at a gas station to fill up the bus and when she got out, the boys bus was driving by. At which time, Bumper threw a burrito out the window at her. It was a direct hit.

It looked like a broken fire hydrant (Aubrey’s vomit) exploded on her.

And the way she reacted was perfect.

“i’ve been shot…I’VE BEEN SHOT!”

What a moment.

Then she said, “I’m gonna finish him like a cheesecake”.

Too good.

The Guys Look Alike?

The leader of the Treblemakers (boys a cappella group; as if it could be the name of anything else) was a guy named, Bumper. He looks exactly like Jimmy Neutron, minus the exaggerated hair swoop.

Then there was Jesse. He pulled up on move-in day, singing out the window of the car. Yes, because all Freshmen have that kind of confidence before receiving their room key? I genuinely thought they were setting him up to be the villain.

Jesse’s roommate was Benji, who had a whole Star Wars thing set up in their room before Jesse even arrived. He also did a magic trick and I’m pretty sure he was wearing a cape. Again, to my earlier point. How did he have all of this unpacked already?

Jesse said he was okay with all of it, but I didn’t believe him. I was expecting him to “accidentally” burn the whole thing down.

But, no. Jesse wasn’t the villain.

However, you could’ve told me that him and Benji were twins and I wouldn’t have asked any questions.

Maybe it was the matching sideburns? Or the fact they had the same haircut? Was it a two-for-one deal? Or was it a three-for-one deal? Because Bumper had the same haircut.

Sorry. My point of this is the casting of these three characters was the antithesis of diverse.

Audio Mixing

Beca doesn’t want to be in college and is only there because her father is a professor at the university. He made his grand appearance into the film with a Dad joke, claiming he was campus security. Beca would much rather be in Los Angeles, pursuing a career as a music producer.

Beca likes to mix songs. What’s the correct term for this? She likes to create mashups? Song mixes? Song mixing? I don’t know. It’s like a Venn Diagram of songs for your ears. You know what I mean.

Her background knowledge of that inspired the new direction for the Barden Bellas.

Anyway, I’m only writing this section about “Audio Mixing” because in real life it felt like everyone in 2012 was trying to become a DJ, or was playing around with audio editing programs.

By “everyone”, I mean maybe two people I knew at the time. They are who I thought of when I saw Beca doing it.

The Timeline

I think I was about 12 minutes into the movie and all of a sudden, Beca had been in college for a month. The plot moved quickly and I can understand why – there was a lot of story to tell.

However, at times, it felt like we were just jumping into something because it was time to do it, and not because there had been a proper build to it.

For example, when Beca went to jail for accidentally smashing a window with a trophy. Jesse bailed her out, except wait, he didn’t. Beca’s dad bailed her out because Jesse called him. Beca gets mad at Jesse and doesn’t talk to him for a while.

Uhhh, okay?

I know it was time for some conflict in the movie, but it felt weird.

That whole trophy/jail/dad being really mad thing was all a giant misunderstanding and could’ve been cleared up in two seconds.

“Yeah, the trophy broke and flung itself through a window. I was arrested because I was holding a piece of the trophy and Amy had run away.”

That’s all Beca had to say and, surely, her dad would understand?

And how was Jesse supposed to know that bailing Beca out of jail, with her dad’s assistance, would’ve been the wrong thing to do? Did she want to stay in jail all night?

There just seemed to be a lot of misguided and unnecessary anger, when the whole situation called for just a little bit – like a teensy weensy bit – of understanding.

Alas, no.

You just have to put a wedge between Jesse and Beca, so they can reconcile with a kiss at the end. Never seen that before.

Musicals & Me

If you’re wondering what I think of musicals, my answer is: I don’t know. I can’t say I’ve watched a bunch of musicals. In fact, I can only think of High School Musical and The Lion King.

By the way, it wasn’t until about 3 years ago that I realized The Lion King was a musical. I had no idea. Yes, I watched it many times as a kid. I even had the backpack. It just never registered in my brain that I was watching a musical.

When they do the musical episodes of Riverdale, I take that as my cue to fast-forward until they’re done singing.

So, as I said before, I don’t know how to feel about musicals. They’re just there, I guess. And I’m just here. We both exist.

Final Verdict

Personally, I didn’t hate the amount of times they sang, “The Sign” by Ace of Base. Darn right, they saw the sign!

The a cappella song mashups threw my brain into a bit of a tizzy. I found myself failing at trying to follow one set of lyrics, while someone else was singing a different set. Both sides of my brain were playing tug-of-war.

That must be so hard to do in real life. Singing your lyrics while hearing someone else sing theirs. At some point you just scream, “Be quiet for a second!”, right?

Anyway, I liked the movie. It was fun. I’ll watch the sequels and probably blog about them, too.

Thanks for reading!

Have you seen Pitch Perfect? What are your thoughts on it?