Forgive me people of the internet, for I have apparently sinned. I have not watched the entire series of The Office. In fact, I haven’t seen more than a couple of episodes and short YouTube clips. Sue me. Please don’t.
So I thought I would start from the beginning because that’s where you should start when watching television shows.
I’m expecting it to be funny, so….hopefully it’s funny.
Here are my thoughts on the first three episodes.
- Michael Scott, the Regional Manager at Dunder Mifflin (a company that sells paper), is wearing a really wide tie. Very mid-2000s.
- I used to be a receptionist/secretary/front desk person because that was the only desk available to me. Pam looks how I felt every time someone walked in.
- Dwight is singing Christmas carols, that’s how you know he’s the annoying one of the bunch.
- Jim is the type of guy who walks to and from the washroom really slowly, in order to kill time.
- “Me no get an agenda.” – Michael Scott
- “Me no wanna hear that.” – Michael Scott
- “Me no speak Americano.” – Unknown
- There was a cut away scene of Dwight tapping Jim on the right shoulder and walking the other way. That was a cultural phenomenon at one point.
- “As a doctor, you would not tell a patient if they had cancer.” – Michael Scott
- Michael Scott just impersonated Hitler in the Pilot episode. Oh boy.
- Pam is hoping they fire her. No Pam! There are eight more seasons!
- Michael Scott considers himself a role model. I agree.
- He idolizes Bono. Who doesn’t?
- They’re having an office meeting about the possibility of the company downsizing. There are no refreshments at this meeting, in case you were wondering.
- DWIGHT’S STAPLER IS IN JELLO.
- Jim and Pam like each other. They go out of their way to talk to each other about useless things. Must be love.
- WAIT, WHO’S ROY?
- Roy is Pam’s fiance. Ha.
- “I’m a friend first, boss second. Probably an entertainer third.” – Michael Scott
- M. Scott just pranked Pam by telling her she was fired. She didn’t laugh.
- The episode ends when Jim puts Michael’s mug in Jello. Don’t try this at work, adults.
- It’s Diversity Day! Oh no…
- “It’s very sturdy paper.” – Jim. That’s good to know.
- In elementary school, we used to write on recycled paper that would break whenever you had to erase something. It was a pain during math tests.
- Pam is playing FreeCell Solitaire.
- HEY REMEMBER WHEN OUR COMPUTERS HAD GAMES ON THEM?
- REMEMBER THAT PINBALL GAME?
- “Name a race you are attracted to sexually.” – Michael Scott, Diversity Meeting Activity
- Honesty, Empathy, Respect, and Open-Mindedness. HERO.
- Or if you’re a smart aleck: HEROM.
- Michael signed a form “Daffy Duck”. I love Daffy Duck! This show really knows their audience.
- “Is there a term besides ‘Mexican’ that you prefer?” – Michael Scott
- In the first episode, Hillary Clinton was mentioned twice. In this episode, they mentioned Dave Chappelle. Eleven years later, both are in the news.
- Mindy Kaling just slapped Michael Scott for being racist.
- Pam just fell asleep on Jim’s shoulder. YOU’RE ENGAGED, PAM!
Two episodes in and I have to say, it’s a bit boring. And I say, “a bit” because if I say it’s “really” boring, then people will come after me with pitchforks, spatulas, water bottle caps.
- This episode is about Health Care. The options are Obamacare or extra bandages in the supply cabinet.
- Jim and Pam are flirting again. I’m going to call them Jam.
- Dwight is in charge of picking a Health Care provider for the office. He’s definitely going with the extra bandages.
- He chose the plan with no dental and no vision. So I was right.
- Michael tries to end his call with Pam by saying he has to take another call, but no one is calling. Michael is all of us.
- Michael has promised everyone a surprise at the end of the day. He has nothing planned. May I suggest PIZZA?
- Everyone has to write down a list of their medical conditions. Jim told Pam she better not write down Ebola. Ebola! This was in 2005. They knew…
- Jim has locked Dwight in an office. This is an HR violation, right?
- Michael has ice cream sandwiches for everyone! This just turned into a children’s sporting event.
- Wait, the ice cream sandwiches weren’t the surprise?
- He has no surprise. People are starting to leave!
- This sink is shipping!
- No, that’s not right.
- This ship is sinking!
Well, so far, it’s been a bit of a snoozer. I expected more.
I know, “it’s only the first season” (said in a mocking voice). Relax.