“To shoot an arrow, you gotta pull it backwards.”
Oh, hi! Didn’t see you there. Not because of my nearsightedness, but because this is the internet and I, literally, could not see you. This page is off to a roaring start, isn’t it?
Welcome to The Captain’s Speech! My name is Paul. I will be the voice inside your head as you read the words I write! Let’s be friends.
I’m (somehow) 26-years-old, but have the mind of an old man and a little boy. That’s what my mother says, at least. I tend to agree with her.
This blog was born on June 23, 2013 as a sports blog, but that got boring after two months when I realized I had more I wanted to say, so now I write about anything and everything.
The title of my blog comes from my university days when I was the Captain of my intramural team. I’d give pre-game speeches that didn’t always lead to a win, but always generated a chuckle.
Here are some rapid fire facts about me:
- I love sports.
- Pizza is my favourite food.
- Dogs don’t like me.
- I say “serviette” instead of napkin.
- I’m an introvert who doesn’t enjoy small talk as much as I enjoy conversations about random things.
- I watch wrestling but…
- I also watch The Bachelor/Bachelorette and do play-by-play posts of each episode.
- Some of my favourite songs are: Where The Streets Have No Name by U2; Sleeping Sickness by City & Colour; and Closer To The Edge by 30 Seconds To Mars.
- My favourite colour is blue, I think.
- I’m not sure if I have a favourite/lucky number, though I seem to favour 2, 19, 22, and 91. Writing that out made me realize I only care about numbers 1, 2, and 9. Ok.
- All of my puns are intended.
- I have a dry sense of humour, so I walk around and spray people with water whenever I make a joke.
- I’ve never seen Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, or any of the superhero movies.
- I prefer non-fiction books.
- I’ve never had tacos, sushi, or Nutella.
- My baseball glove is about 30 years old. I couldn’t imagine wearing a different one.
- At least 10 people have told me I look like Sidney Crosby.
- My sister says I look like Yogi Bear.
- I enjoy long road trips, but don’t like 2-hour drives.
- Within the last five years I’ve watched: The OC, Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, Veronica Mars, and Pretty Little Liars. My sister takes the blame for this.
- Did I mention I watch wrestling?
My interests are all over the place, which means this blog is too. If you were to ask me what my blog is about, I wouldn’t know how to answer you. My blog is about me, but you don’t know me, so reading it is the only way to find out.
All (most) of my posts are written in the middle of the night. I try to make every post sound as if I’m talking, rather than you are reading.
A lot of my posts have jokes in them, so if you don’t like to laugh…uhh I don’t even know how to finish this sentence.
I write poetry. I write fiction. I write about life. I write about the past. I write about sports. I write about me. I write about writing. I write about scenarios in life that no one talks about enough.
Essentially, if a thought pops in my heads, I’ll turn it into a blog post.
I have a few blogging series: 50 Thoughts, Paulo’s Kitchen w/Chef Paulo, and Viewing Notes, to name a few.
My goal is to make you laugh, think, or cry. Failing that, hopefully you click away from my blog feeling a little bit better than before you read it.
Now then…because I have nowhere else to put it, and because I want to remember the specific dates, here is a list of my blogging accolades which I was somehow deemed worthy of.
My blog has been featured three times on Freshly Pressed:
September 6, 2013: I Miss School, Already
March 28, 2014: Watching The Leafs Isn’t Fun Anymore
May 18, 2015: Growing Up Millennial
…and three times on Discover:
January 16, 2017: Digital Diet
July 17, 2017: Reflecting on Four Years of Blogging
November 8, 2017: Roy Halladay
Thank you for getting through this About page, which I’ve edited about 79 times. I appreciate it!
Please feel free to leave a comment below – whether to say hi, tell me you love pizza as much as I do, or anything in between.
You can follow me on Twitter: @CappyTalks
Lastly, I like to think that every blog post I write reveals a piece of my heart and if you were to put each one together, you’d know exactly who I am. So if this page left some questions unanswered, that was intentional.