Category Archives: 50 Thoughts

50 Thoughts XXXV

Posted on November 23, 2020 by

1. I will be laughing about the press conference at Four Seasons Total Landscaping for the rest of my life. 2. Put your Timbits in the fridge. They taste (even) better when they’re cold. 3. The only time I press … Continue reading →

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50 Thoughts XXXIV

Posted on September 1, 2020 by

1. Sometimes all you need is someone to believe in you. 2. BBM group chats were electric back in 2012. Someone would leave the chat and everyone else would be like, “Wowww, why’d they leave? Invite them back.” 3. “Construction Never Ends” … Continue reading →

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50 Thoughts XXXIII

Posted on May 19, 2020 by

1. Food trucks should drive around neighbourhoods but, instead of playing music to alert people, the driver uses a microphone to announce what foods they have onboard. Imagine hearing, “FRIES! PULLED PORK SANDWICHES! CAESAR SALAD!” coming down your street. 2. I … Continue reading →

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50 Thoughts XXXII

Posted on April 20, 2020 by

1. Kids these days will never experience finding 25 cents in a payphone, only for their parents to ask them, sternly, “Do know how many germs are on those phones!?” 2. The song, “Mr. Roboto”, doesn’t really get going until the … Continue reading →

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50 Thoughts XXXI

Posted on March 19, 2020 by

1. Last week, a guy on the radio said people were stocking up on toilet paper and onion powder. Is onion powder a substitute for baby powder? What am I missing here? 2. When people go on Shark Tank and say … Continue reading →

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50 Thoughts XXX

Posted on January 10, 2020 by

1. Sometimes humour comes from a place of pain, like when I hit my funny bone on a door frame the other day. 2. I don’t trust squirrels. They’re either going to jump on my head, or untie my shoelaces, … Continue reading →

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50 Thoughts XXIX

Posted on October 15, 2019 by

1. Technology is getting too complicated and unnecessary. I don’t want a new update every two weeks – I want it to be perfect the first time, and I want it to last for 20 years like my Nintendo 64. … Continue reading →

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50 Thoughts XXVIII

Posted on July 11, 2019 by

1. Desk chairs must hate sitting at a desk all day. Some probably wish they were patio furniture, while the free spirit desk chairs want to be folding chairs that travel the world on concert tours. 2. What do you call … Continue reading →

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50 Thoughts XXVII

Posted on May 27, 2019 by

1. Do the random, far-fetched scenarios you think about before falling asleep, ever actually happen in real life? 2. Famous people really love to complain on Twitter when their flight is delayed. I’m sorry all of your money has put … Continue reading →

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50 Thoughts XXVI

Posted on April 29, 2019 by

1. Selfie sticks used to flip burgers in their former life. 2. I heard on Jimmy Kimmel Live that schools are replacing analog clocks with digital clocks because kids can’t read them. Gee, if only there was a place kids … Continue reading →

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