Paulo – Coming Soon

I have to admit, I’m sitting here with the biggest grin on my face right now. I’m also quietly chuckling to myself in the dark and pretending that I don’t have a headache. It’s one of those deep breath chuckles, where you sound like you’re gasping for air, but aren’t. Try it at home.

Anyway, let’s get down to business.

Last year, between March and June, my blog was the place to be. I’m not going to lie, it’s the truth. Almost every single day it seemed like I had a new idea for a blog post.

I quickly made it my mission to see how ridiculous I could make my posts before people would start to revolt because, surely, people would revolt. And you know what happened?

NO ONE REVOLTED.

I was writing the craziest things. Fun posts. Social experiments. Mock poetry. Stories that I made you believe were true until the final paragraph told you otherwise. I turned song lyrics into sentences using a ridiculous formula.

Just absolute nonsense.

And you guys ate it up. To be honest, it had me terrified. I don’t know how I come up with half of the things I do, but to know that other people found it entertaining made me worry a bit for humanity.

Not a lot, but a bit.

It’s all in good fun, though.

So then, one day in June, I created a post called: Paulo’s Kitchen: Soup.

I had seen many bloggers sharing recipes and going through detailed steps of how to make something so delicious, that I couldn’t help myself. I had to do the same thing. Except, I didn’t. I turned it into a joke and created my Italian alter-ego, Paulo.

Yes, I realize it should be “Paolo”, but spelling it out as “Paulo” just fits the shtick. Don’t question the shtick. Just go with the shtick. Man, I love the word “shtick”.

You guys loved that post so much I felt compelled to write another one. I called it: Paulo’s Kitchen: Pancakes.

And yet again, for some reason, you guys ate it up. Pun intended.

But I never continued with the series. I don’t like overdoing things. I felt that if I kept writing “Paulo’s Kitchen” posts, they would eventually get stale.

Or I was just too lazy. Yeah, probably that.

The character stuck, though, even months after the fact. Some bloggers started calling me “Paulo” when they commented on my blog. Sorry, you have me mistaken. Meanwhile, others have been asking me to bring back “Paulo”.

And if you know me at all, you’ll know that I’ll eventually surrender to things I secretly want to do, but only after I put up a struggle (for show). I’m weird. Deal with it.

Out of everything I’ve written on this blog, those two Paulo posts have stood the test of time (8 months).

So, I’m bringing Paulo back. It might be a disaster, or it might not be. That’s entirely up to all of you me, I guess.

I still don’t know when he will be returning, exactly, but I’m sure it will be soon.

If Paulo’s Kitchen has as much interest now, as it did last June, I might start writing some fiction and send Paulo into different settings.

Honestly, I’m a bit jealous of Paulo. I feel like he is more popular than me, which is a big hit to my ego.

Nevertheless, I’m willing to sacrifice for the greater good of the team.

By this point, I’ve lost half of you. You’re all wondering why I’m making a big deal out of this, and quite frankly, so am I. But let’s get that thought out of our heads and think of something else.

Pizza.

Alright, that’s all. Stay tuned. Paulo will be cooking up a (snow)storm before you can say “synonym for cinnamon” five times fast.