Abandoned Blog Topics

I was all gung-ho to write a blog post this afternoon, but couldn’t. I was too tired. I decided to nap instead. These are some topics that I thought about turning into a blog post, but none of them felt like they had the legs to be their own post. So here they are, together.

1. Pizza in the Microwave
Pizza is my favourite food. I wouldn’t say leftover pizza is as good as when you get it hot from the box, but it is still a delicacy. Heating it up in the microwave is a skill, though. Over the years I have come to realize there is a right way of heating up pizza in the microwave and a wrong way.

The right way is to do one slice at a time. Length of time may vary depending on your microwave or your preference of how hot you want your pizza. Normally, somewhere between 24-29 seconds will do the trick for one slice of pizza, unless it is a small slice. In that case, somewhere in the 17-21 second range is right.

The wrong way is by putting two or more slices in the microwave at the same time. They won’t heat up properly. Maybe it’s just my microwave. But if I put two or three slices on a plate, and heat them up for 29 seconds, they will come out cold.

It’s as if the heat in the microwave has to divide its efforts for three slices, instead of giving the same amount to all three. Darn microwave, preaching fairness and all that stuff.

How do I test if the pizza slice is still cold, or heated to my liking? I use my tongue. I lick the top of each slice. My tongue is basically a thermometer. Also, you can tell by looking at the pizza. A cold slice will look dead.

S0, if you care about properly heating up each pizza slice to their maximum potential, you should do one at a time. This may involve the use of multiple plates.

At this point you would have to decide what’s more important to you. An extra dirty dish, or a really good slice of pizza. I don’t think it’s a tough decision. In fact, I don’t even think it is decision. The only thing better than pizza is money. Why? Because you can use money to buy pizza. You can’t use an unused dish to buy pizza.

2. Broken Cookie
I went to have a cookie today. When I opened the package, I found it. It was dead before I got there. Its remains were spread everywhere. The cookie was broken in half, like a wrestler thrown off the top of a cage. I set up some police tape.

Who did this to you? Were there any witnesses? It was unresponsive. I found half of the cookie lying about 3 centimetres away from its other half. And then a stray limb further down.

Needless to say, I disposed of it’s remains. It was delicious.

3. The Dentist
I went to the dentist yesterday and my face got a workout. Holy cannoli, it was a full facial exercise. It got stretched this way. It got stretched that way. Pretty sure my tongue was licking my ear at one point.

The workout was finally over and I got to close my mouth. It hurt. I felt like my face needed to lie down. It had been through a lot.

By the way, shoutout to dentists. Putting your hands in another person’s mouth every single day deserves some recognition. I’m sure they’ve seen some gnarly things. The mouth is a disgusting place and they clean it up for all of us.

A round of gauze applause to dentists!

And there you have it, three blog posts for the price of one. Now if you excuse me, I have some pizza to go heat up in the microwave. One. Slice. At. A. Time. 

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About Paul

This is the part where I'm supposed to write something interesting about myself and you'll read it and think, "That's not that interesting." So let's not do that and just think about pizza instead, on the count of three. One, two, three. Donuts. Now, wasn't that interesting?
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20 Responses to Abandoned Blog Topics

  1. tontaybla says:

    OMG so this is why my pizza never comes out right I have to do it one at a time and I am pretty sure I am putting them in too long too. Thank you so much for this great information, now all I have to do is stop my family from finishing off a whole pizza to test this, it has been a while since we have had leftover pizza.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Happy I could help! One at a time is the way to go for sure. When in doubt of how long to heat it up, always go for less time. You could always put it back in for longer. Another method is wrapping it in foil paper and putting it in the oven for a few minutes…that will keep the crusty crispy.

      Like

      • tontaybla says:

        This is getting better and better. I will try that…now that I think of it I think that’s what they do at Anthony’so pizza, my favorite pizza place although I haven’t been there in a while. Have you ever eaten there or ever heard of it?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Paul says:

        I don’t think I’ve heard of it. We might not have them in Canada. Let me Google it. Oh, we have one in Ottawa, but I don’t live near there. Whenever you try this heating up pizza method, let me know how it turns out! (if you remember)

        Liked by 1 person

      • tontaybla says:

        Lol I will! Well that’s sad that you don’t have one I guess I just assumed you lived in the US we have em everywhere

        Like

  2. rebbit7 says:

    Consider #1 a Life-Hack post for the future! Great tips to getting the best re-heated pizza ever! 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  3. moxieluster says:

    I always suck at microwaving anything, but with pizza for what ever reason I enjoy it cold with ranch.. Not sure why but it just tastes so good. I eat it fresh from the box, then the cold slice is like a different meal entirely.. so to me in a weird way it is like having two different foods for the price of one hahaha.

    Broken cookies are a tragedy, sure they are going to be minced up to itty bitty pieces of nothing in your mouth, but I like them whole even if it doesn’t affect the taste.. Besides when I dip them in milk it is easier to do with a whole cookie not pieces of one 😀

    Don’t even want to discuss dentists.. nothing against them but.. I don’t particularly like going to the dentist ..

    Enjoy your perfectly heated pizza!! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Cold pizza is really good too! Especially for breakfast. Every time I go to the dentist I’m always waiting to hear bad news. Then again I’m the same way at the doctor and the eye doctor.

      The perfectly heated pizza was excellent, thanks!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Blunderdad says:

    I gave up with the microwave. Now I put it into the oven at 200 or 250 for ten or so minutes. It makes it taste less left over.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      I’ll sometimes wrap it in foil paper and throw it in the oven if it’s already on (the BBQ also works well). Otherwise, microwave it is.

      Like

  5. Barb Knowles says:

    How is it that I’ve been so busy that i’m FOUR posts behind on your blog???? Have you slept?? 1) My son just spent the weekend in Toronto. Did you see him? The phone fiasco with trying to pay for international phone service to Canada was a nightmare about which I am about to post.
    2) Did you miss my hysterical laughter? My husband has wondered if I’m sinking into a depression because he hasn’t heard me laugh lately.
    3) Totally disagree on the pizza. I have never been able to microwave it and have the crust not be ruined. Maybe if it starts out the consistency of wood it would work.
    4) I have scary visions of your eating pizza right after the dentist visit.

    Liked by 1 person

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