Clowns Aren’t Scary

It is said that if you don’t think clowns are scary, then you probably are a clown. Harsh, maybe. But don’t get mad at me, I don’t make the rules. Except in this case. I made up that line for the sake of an introduction.

The other night as I went to sleep, the sudden thought of, “Clowns aren’t scary” crossed my mind. I’m not sure why it did, but it did.

Better than a flock of geese crossing my mind, they take forever. Just put a conveyor belt on the road at designated “Geese Crossings”. That’ll speed things up.

Bam, fixed the world.

It made me think about all the times I’ve heard people freak out over clowns and how petrifying they are.

I don’t get it. I don’t think clowns are scary.

If you’re afraid of clowns, I’m not saying you shouldn’t be. I can’t tell you what to fear, especially when the lights go out and you hear a creak in the distance.

Don’t worry, it was probably just a potato chip….*creak*….two potato chips under your pillow.

I just don’t share the fear of clowns with you.

Truthfully, I’m more afraid of dogs than I am clowns.

*Pause for all the gasps*

I don’t trust dogs. From a distance, and via pictures, they’re cool. And outside of a select 1-2 dogs, I’ve never really wanted them near me. That is weird, yes, but it’s normal for me.

Are there evil clowns? I don’t know, are there?

Or are we just judging them based on their face?

To me, they’ve always looked like their little sister put makeup on them while they were taking a nap, they didn’t notice, and left the house to go twist balloons into shapes.

That’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for their appearance.

Watching the IT movie was like watching a comedy. There were points when I felt the clown was trying to be scary and I asked myself, “Am I supposed to be scared right now? Is that what they want me to feel in this moment?”

I was unfazed.

Even as a kid, I remember going to the Doctor’s and in some of the rooms there was a clown doll hanging from the ceiling above the examination table. I guess it was something for kids to stare at? A distraction? Decoration? An out of place ornament?

I never looked at it and thought, “Ahh a scary clown hanging from the ceiling!” It was just, “Oh, a clown. Can you give me my needle now?”

I’m also unfazed by needles. Always just stared at them and went about my day.

Is there a correlation between those who aren’t afraid of clowns, and those who aren’t afraid of needles? Or did I just create my own category?

Always hated the eye doctor, though. Dogs and eye doctors – blah.

Back to clowns.

Feeling in the minority on this whole issue, I put it to a Twitter poll.

Are clowns scary? Yes or no.

63% said yes. 37% said no.

I was expecting 80% to say yes, so I consider this a win for the No side.

If you’re wondering how many people voted, it was 1,782,243. That’s a fairly good sample size, if I say so myself.

Okay, it was 27 people. 27 people voted. Are you happy now!?

Three bloggers replied to the poll.

Christine said: “As if this even needs to be asked. Horrifying smiley jackwads.”

Reid said: “Yes, clowns are most definitely scary.”

T said: “As if you even need to ask!”

Upon telling T that I was writing a blog post about this, she said, “Please tell me the title in advance so I can avoid reading it.”

Now she has to read it, since I linked her blog. Ha! I get the last (and first) laugh here.

Notice a theme with the responses, though?

Where are the people who voted, “No”? Why didn’t they say anything? I think I know why. They know they’re in the minority.

It’s no different than when you’re in high school and are polling your friends to see who is going to something. One person says they aren’t going and then another says they aren’t, and then that turns into, “No one is going”.

When really, there were people who wanted to go but they realized they were in the minority, so they stayed silent.

I don’t know if that reference fits here, but it’s all I have.

So here I am, speaking up for those of us who are not afraid of clowns. Why did I just feel a cold shiver? Will I regret saying those words?

Ah, it was just the air conditioner turning on behind me.

Come to think of it, I can’t even remember the last time I saw a clown in person. It’s not like they’re walking down the street, playing music, and ringing a bell.

They aren’t an ice cream truck. Why aren’t people afraid of ice cream trucks? They lure you out of your house. Clowns don’t. Clowns would never.

Clowns just need a new PR representative. Maybe film a few commercials of them helping people cross the street, or trying on shoes for back to school season.

Again, I’m not telling you what you should, or shouldn’t be afraid of. I’m just trying to understand.

I’m not afraid of clowns, are you?

Let me know in the comments below.

About Paul

I think of my blog as an all-you-can-read buffet. There's something for everyone and complimentary mints at the door as you leave.
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53 Responses to Clowns Aren’t Scary

  1. Becky Turner says:

    I’m not offering my PR services because clowns are creepy. And I feel like the movie “It” isn’t helping their case.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Meg says:

    Clowns look EXACTLY like their little sisters got at them with makeup! And they’re not scary. The only somewhat creepy thing about them is that they can frown and smile at the same time. That’s just weird.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Oh you are SO lucky this post won’t give me nightmares, Paul! Lol and you did tag my blog but I didn’t get a notification so if you didn’t tell me I wouldn’t have known! Lol

    I have a whole post about why I hate clowns. It’s a real fear that I wish didn’t affect me as a grown ass woman but it does lol

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Ashley says:

    I’m not scared of them either! How funny. The only one I don’t like is William Gasey, but he was actually a serial killer who happened to be a serial killer. 🤔

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ariel Lynn says:

      It’s actually John Wayne Gacy. I left a comment (& a link to his biography page, so it might get marked as spam) about him too! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

    • Dutch Lion says:

      John Wayne Gacy is super creepy. I live near where he committed his heinous murders. Gacy dressed up as a clown to attract young men, right? That obviously adds to the theory that “clowns are scary” indeed. Gacy is one of the creepiest people ever. It’s too bad for the clowns that he helps give them a bad rap.

      Liked by 3 people

      • Ashley says:

        Oh my goodness, that must have been terrifying to live near the crimes! :O

        Liked by 2 people

      • Dutch Lion says:

        If I remember correctly, he committed his crimes in Norwood Park which is a far northwest section of Chicago. I live a little further out in the suburbs in Mundelein. At the time of his murders I was just a little kid living in Lake Zurich, IL. I had no clue until I was older. Look it up on a map if you’re curious. Recently I helped move a friend from his house in Schiller Park. It was weird going down in the basement. It creeped me out!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. micqu says:

    I votes yes. Clowns are scary. But I am not afraid of them. I am brave like that.
    For me, clowns are too loud, too unpredictable. Too not funny. I don’t like them, even if they are just doing their jobs.
    (I never saw the movie “IT”)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Tanushka says:

    Hey, I’m one of those people who who replied no to your poll. I don’t think they’re scary. Dolls too are not. But spooky music is. God does it scare the shit out of me. Anyway, I don’t like the genre of horror on the whole (read I’m a scaredy cat) , so I didn’t bother with it.
    And when it comes to dogs, yes! I am so scared of dogs. I don’t trust them a bit. Especially the stray ones and the giant Labrador that lives above me. She is always hyper active, and I don’t know if she wants to bite me or not. I am made to feel guilty, especially when I scream when my friend’s dog will try to sit on my lap. I don’t care stay away. Yes they are cute in concept but it has teeth! No thanks! And I remember my fear of dogs began when i was 6 and a rabid dog vit my friend and followed me fir half a kilometre. *Shudders*
    Anyway thanks for reading my rant. In felt like I finally needed to come out.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      For some reason, I like the horror genre, though the spooky music does get to me sometimes – in a good way. If that makes sense.

      Yes! That feeling of guilty when a friend’s dog comes near! They always say, “Oh it’s friendly. It doesn’t bite. It likes you!” And I’m thinking, “Get me outta here.” I don’t know what dogs are thinking. What if they chew a hole through my pants? I just don’t trust them. Good luck with that giant Labrador above you!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Chichi says:

    I am so scared of clowns! 😦
    And needles.
    And dogs.

    Yeah, I’m scared of all of these things.
    I just… I can’t…
    Also, I’ve always had this belief that clowns are just really sad alcoholics who are hiding their pain behind their makeup.
    So that’s a bit creepy.

    Needles – no. Just no. I don’t even want to see them.
    Three years ago, I went to the dentist and I needed to get fillings. When the dentist said that, I immediately broke down because I just started thinking about that numbing injection going into my gums! :/
    Yeah, we sat for 10 minutes just them comforting me.
    Also, I have to get my flu vaccination every year and I cry every year.

    Dogs are just… blehh… I like them in my pictures but I don’t ever want to see them around.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Hmm I think your clown theory is actually true when it comes to Krusty the Clown in The Simpsons.

      Ahh the needle to the gums! I’ve had that. It’s a weird feeling. Your mouth feels like it’s a soft couch. I don’t enjoy anything dentist related.

      The day will come where you don’t cry for your flu shot! Just watch an episode of Being The Elite while they do it or something lol

      Liked by 2 people

      • Chichi says:

        Totally! 😀 That guy has issues.

        A soft couch?! But, now that I think of it, I can actually see what you’re saying.

        I’ll keep jumping around. That, in itself, will be a problem. 🙂 But perhaps I’ll try. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Caro says:

    Clowns aren’t scary. Reality is challenging to some people so they develop reasons to question everything. It’s just silly. I recommend big kid chonies and more dress up clothes as therapy. JS

    Liked by 2 people

  9. m4gical says:

    I’m not afraid of clowns.. Apart from about 2 years ago there was this thing for Halloween where people would dress up as scary clowns and either run at people or run at people and hurt them, haha my paranoia wasn’t a fan of that.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Freaking clowns. Bastards.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. Ariel Lynn says:

    Truthfully, I’m more afraid of dogs than I am clowns.

    I tend to agree, but, then again, I was attacked by a dog. I’ve never been attacked by a clown, so I’m not nervous around them.

    Are there evil clowns? I don’t know, are there?

    John Wayne Gacy. He was a clown. He killed more than 33 people – specifically boys & young men – & raped them, & probably others too. He would dress up as a clown when he murdered these people sometimes. https://www.biography.com/people/john-wayne-gacy-10367544

    Liked by 3 people

    • Paul says:

      Well this comment took a turn lol. I think I’ve heard the name before – didn’t know he was a killer clown.

      I always get the sense that dogs want to attack me even if they don’t. How did the dog attack you?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ariel Lynn says:

        Hey, you’re the one who asked the question – “Are there evil clowns?” I merely answered it.

        But, yeah, my comments tend to get dark. Sorry ’bout that!

        Even when dogs don’t want to attack me, they seem to attack me. It’s hard to tell, in a split-second, whether it’s gonna be a “happy, slobbering, ‘OMG PET ME'” kind of dog jumping on me or a “I’M GUNNA KILL YOU” kind of dog. 😲

        I mentioned the dog attacking me in another post of yours where you asked our worst injuries. I think you meant self-inflicted, but it’s a pretty messed up story so I told it. I was in 2nd grade, just got home from the Scholastic book fair, & I was wearing one of those headbands with colorful balls on the ends of long springs (sorta like this – https://www.amazon.com/Amscan-Glitter-Valentines-Costume-Accessory/dp/B01LXYN6G6/ref=sr_1_7/138-9878257-4197449?ie=UTF8&qid=1533832408&sr=8-7&keywords=Spring+Headband).

        Dog got peeved, tried to jump up & bite one of those balls, & missed. He missed badly. I ended up with 48 stitches needed to reconstruct my eyelid & 1 stitch on the top of my head/hairline where the other side of his jaw landed.

        I got to wear an eyepatch for a while, at least!

        Like

  12. Clowns are not scary, but needles are…I thought It was a comedy too. It wasn’t?? 🤡

    Liked by 2 people

  13. elizabeth says:

    Great post – I think the reference to high school totally fits here, where one person decides not to like / do something and suddenly everyone else feels the same way. I used to hate that in school but still obviously followed the crowd, i guess society does the same thing to fallen celebrities.

    But i also think John Wayne Gacy and IT changed peoples perception of clowns to be scary and they probably won’t ever be able to recover from it. These days it’s almost like if you’re a person that likes clowns then you’re an actual freak.

    Somehow no one finds Krusty terrifying though, so who knows lol

    Liked by 3 people

    • Paul says:

      Hmm I get it, but that’s just one guy who was a psychopath. And the other is a fictional character. People still enjoy crime shows and aren’t afraid of regular people (I think). I think clowns get a bad name because of their appearance.

      Krusty has the strangest hair too, yet no one questions it.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Tanushka says:

    I relate to not being scared of needles. I earlier used to be, but then I saw one go inside me and draw up blood for a blood test, and I was fascinated. Also, once you get 7 injections to your gums (braces) it kinda dulls the fear.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. heymeghan91 says:

    1) Reading this just made my clown picture I sent you even funnier.
    2) I voted no. Clowns aren’t scary.

    I also liked IT. A few of the jump scares got me but that was all. All the halloween stores by me have clown themed things this year. Actually, I plan to be a scary clown for halloween!!! No joke! I decided that on Sunday.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. peckapalooza says:

    I have a lot to say on this subject. Feel free to cut me off.

    I’m pretty sure I voted in your poll. Yes, clowns are scary. I wondered where this all started for me. And it might have something to do with the time I went to the circus. And a clown killed my dad.

    I kid. That was a Deep Thought by Jack Handey. No, I really do have a clown phobia. Kind of strange since the new It movie made my personal top 100 films and I’m actually listening to the Audible version of the novel. Guess I’m a glutton for punishment. Though, I think between the original mini-series from the ’90s and the version that came out last year, my fear of Pennywise ranks somewhere around my fear of Freddy Kruger. It’s just not a thing.

    Real life clowns, though… they give me the willies. Have you seen any of those viral videos that went around a couple years back? Where people were dressing as clowns and chasing people down at random? A few times, they were chasing people who were in cars. I keep yelling at the YouTube, “Why are you driving away? Run that sucker over!” I mean, that would probably be horrible because it’s probably some dumb teenage kid dressed up as a prank. Still… not cool.

    In reading up on coulrophobia, it actually makes sense why a lot of kids grow up to have an irrational fear of clowns. It all comes down to mixed signals sent by parents. We’re told throughout our early years not to associate with strangers, then we’re sent to birthday parties where the entertainment turns out to be one of the strangest characters in human form we could possibly come across, but we’re supposed to interact with him or her and not be freaked out. For me, according to my parents, it’s probably because I associate clowns with the loud noises of the circus that used to scare me around the age of three or so.

    Also… You have geese crossing signs? Is that a Canada thing? All we get around here are deer crossings. But they put them up at the worst places. Deer keep getting hit when they try to cross the road. They should move the crossings somewhere safer.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Paul says:

      Ok for a second there that clown killing your dad joke sounded too real lol. Yeah I’ll admit, that whole killer clown thing a few years ago was scary. I feel like the costume was just an excuse for psychopaths to go about their business undetected.

      That’s a good point as to why kids have a fear of clowns. Definitely a lot of mixed signals there. Why do adults think bringing a clown to a birthday party is a good idea in the first place? Just get a guy in a warm, fuzzy mascot costume instead if you want theatrics.

      Yes we have Geese crossing signs! It’s an image of a mother Goose and a couple of little of her little goslings following behind. I’ve also seen a Turtle crossing sign, but that might’ve just been a funky way to refer to speed bumps.

      Like

    • Paul says:

      On an unrelated note: I read today that Bayleigh on Big Brother thinks she’s pregnant. And you know who is the father. Soooooo that’s something.

      Like

  17. Ely says:

    Lol!!!! Paul. How are we not like twins or something. Clowns are so stupid. They try too hard, they’re corny, obnoxious, and nice try Pennywise… nice try. IT was unimpressive. Coming from a horror/thriller fan. You want scary? Try being chased and attacked by a flying roach sent by Lucifer to steal your soul. You want scary? Make me a lab experiment and take caffeine away. You want scary? Re-open your Facebook account and sit back and read the dumb shit that people are actually saying these days. LOL ok I’m done. Clowns are unstable. Not scary. Just unstable. Happy Friday!!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      Hahaha and that is the #1 reason why I’m scared to go back on Facebook after a year away. You should write a horror film/novel some day! “The Cake That Won’t Bake” lolol I don’t know how I come up with this. Anyway, I knew you’d share the same opinion on this as me! Clowns can’t do anything to us!

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Dutch Lion says:

    Pauly,

    Some great writing here. I am scared of clowns, a little. Or maybe we should say I think they’re creepy. However, dogs are worse! You may know my feelings on dogs. Everybody loves ’em. Not me. I get it. I really do. Man’s best friend and all of that. But what bothers me are how people value dogs more than humans. Also, how they always claim, “My dog doesn’t bite”. Sure it doesn’t…..until it does. Dogs are animals. They most certainly bite. People bite too. My son used to bite us for years until we taught him to stop. It took a long time. Anyway, dogs are the biggest scam in the history of the world. I think Jerry Seinfeld joked about this. He said dogs are scamming humans. “I get free food, clothing, shelter, doctor’s visits, total comfort from my owner, as long as I wag my tail a few times and greet him at the door. I’ve got it made.” – Dog

    Back to clowns….. I think for me the clown thing is because I am scared of a person who allows himself to be made fun of on purpose while wearing completely ridiculous undignified garb while sporting makeup that looks like it was put on my a 3 year old girl. Can you imagine Joe DiMaggio dressing up as a clown? Or a dignified gentleman such as Charles Krauthammer or a Vin Scully or a Jim Nantz or a Jay Wright or a Sean Connery or a Charlton Heston or a Pierce Brosnan or a Heath Ledger (just kidding, a joke because of his “Joker” portrayal). They just wouldn’t do it. They have more respect for themselves. Do clowns? Hmmm, unlikely. The good part of clowns is they’re trying to make kids laugh. The bad side of clowns is they are more devious than regular people. Why not just smile and make people laugh in a normal way? Are they “trying” to scare some kids? Probably. They get a kick out of it. I keep going back to Gacy. The guy dressed up like a clown. He had serious issues. Does that mean all clowns have serious issues? Unlikely, but still, it’s a sign.

    To summarize, I’m afraid of dogs. I’m wary of clowns. I love your column. Thanks for including my response.

    Thanks! Reid

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      Haha I love how you referenced Jerry Seinfeld’s view of dogs. It’s so true. And I’ve never trusted anyone when they say their dog doesn’t bite. Dogs certainly look at me as if they want to tear me apart. And if not, they definitely want to lick me. Why do people like being licked in the face by their dog? I find it disgusting.

      Your argument about clowns is very convincing. Now all I’m picturing is Vin Scully calling a baseball game in a clown costume. People would be saying “No wonder he calls the game by himself.” There should be a 30 for 30 style documentary on clowns so we can learn why people are motivated to become a clown. Did they like dressing up as a kid and being a clown is the closest thing they’ll be to an actor? We need answers.

      Appreciate your insight.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Myka says:

    Another episode of “Myka opens a note so she can make comments while she reads Paul’s blog and doesn’t have to keep scrolling from where she’s at in the blog to the comments box & back again.”

    I think it is super eerie that you mentioned the geese crossing. I just watched a flock cross the road earlier this week, and like 3 or 4 cars were halted for them. Maybe it isn’t that eerie since you go on to say it’s a world problem. Never mind. We aren’t connected. Just a minor coincidence.

    I wonder if people are afraid of clowns because the paint covers so much of their face. It’s like they have a mask on/are hiding their identity in plain sight…

    Or, maybe your doctors office wasn’t the only one with clowns in the examination rooms. & adults now relate clowns to their unpleasant childhood trips to the doctor…

    Dogs & eye doctors. Hahaha. What a pair.

    Do you guys have Modern Family in Canada? The TV Show? (Its on ABC here). Anyway, one of the Gay couple on there is a clown. He isn’t scary at all. Maybe he’s the first step in creating a new name for Clowns across the Country. (Oh, and Canada).

    .xo.

    PS. I am not afraid of clowns, but if I saw a someone dressed as one in an inopportune moment (driving my uber at night, walking around my neighborhood after dark, etc). I would R-U-N.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Paul says:

      Maybe it has something to do with the paint. I think it’s the way the paint make their eyes and mouth look disproportionate larger than they should be, couple with the fact that they’re drawing on a permanent facial reaction. Now I’m getting weirded out just writing this.

      Yup, we have that show here. We have ABC, NBC, CBS, all your favourite American networks lol. I feel like people will still be afraid of clowns no matter what.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. lesliebakes says:

    I mean i guess theyre creepy just for fun on Halloween.

    Liked by 1 person

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