This episode is chaotic, so make sure to buckle your seatbelt and roll down the window for some fresh air.
- The girls are sitting around talking about Sarah leaving. Victoria says something mean and Katie asks her to stop talking about her; she’s gone, there’s no point in continuing to say negative things.
- Victoria: “No, I won’t stop, Katie.”
GROUP DATE? (Abigail, MJ, Mari, Jessenia, Chelsea, Magi, ?)
- Sure, why not? We seem to have gone right to the night portion of a group date.
- We quickly go through clips of Matt talking to three women about how the day started off challenging – with Sarah leaving – but now they’ve reassured him as to why he’s there.
- Maybe I’m expecting too much, but it would be nice to learn more about all these women. Just a thought.
- Chelsea receives the group date rose.
- Clink clink, they all grab a drink, it’s time to talk to Matt one more time because we’re on the brink…of another round of eliminations.
- Matt tells Kit that he likes being around her.
- Matt tells Katie that she doesn’t care what other people think and he likes that.
- Matt tells Bri that what he felt with her is real.
- Victoria tells Matt that it’s hard because she hasn’t had time with him.
- Chris Harrison breaks up this chat – which annoys Victoria – and brings Matt outside. The girls speculate that Sarah is back.
- Chris tells Matt that they had a record number of women apply to be on this season. Yeah, no kidding. It’s not like anything else is going on.
- As a result, FIVE MORE WOMEN are about to arrive. On Episode 4. And we barely know anything about the girls already here.
- HIT THE PANIC BUTTON.
- This show is trying to give Matt a heart attack.
- Maybe Saneh will come back?
LIMO ENTRANCES ROUND 2
- First out is Brittany who says she wants to make up for lost time and immediately kisses him, while the four girls watch from the window.
- Victoria has alerted the rest of the house of the incoming new girls.
- We’re about to get a lot of fake smiles. Get ready.
- Brittany walks in and no one says anything. She says more girls are on the way.
- You could hear a feather drop.
- Victoria calls her a backup because some girls left.
- It’s amazing how they’re all mad at Brittany, as if she had any say in when she showed up. Blame the producers!
- Next out of the limo is Michelle, a teacher from Minnesota.
- Anna: “This is so disrespectful to the girls who have been here.”
- It’s like they don’t know what show they’re on. None of this should be surprising!
- Next up is Ryan, who is a dancer/choreographer from Brooklyn.
- And then there is Kim, an ICU Nurse from LA.
- Kim walks in all cheery like, “Hiiii, nice to meet you guys” and is met with DAGGERS. Turn around, Kim, save yourself!
- Former Miss Puerto Rico, Catalina, has arrived with her crown and says she hopes to become the Queen of Matt’s universe.
- Uh-oh. The Queen gimmick is Victoria’s thing. Hence, Queen Victoria. We’re gonna have a scrap tonight, kids. Get’cha popcorn ready.
- Victoria: “Catalina, come here. I would love to meet you.”
- Queen V: “I think I should have that crown, actually.”
- VICTORIA JUST TOOK THE CROWN OFF OF MISS PUERTO RICO’S HEAD AND PUT IT ON HERS.
- Matt is about to have a panic attack outside.
- The girls are complaining that they’ve been there for three weeks and still haven’t gotten a lot of time with Matt.
- I mean, if you haven’t received a one-on-one date by the end of Episode 5, you’re not the one. Matt isn’t meeting his wife on group dates.
- Matt comes in and proposes a toast to the new arrivals, but before they toast, Victoria asks if they can finish their “convo”.
- Everyone sits in silence.
BACK TO THE COCKTAIL PARTY
- Once Victoria is out of earshot, Katie and Serena P. – the welcoming committee – tell the new girls they’re not trying to make them feel uncomfortable; they’re just invested in Matt.
- Anna tells one of the girls that she knows Brittany from Chicago and doesn’t seem to trust her.
- Brittany steals Matt away from Victoria, as we now cycle through clips of Matt with the new girls.
- Kim has a “little doggy named Bosley”. He’s a Shar-Pei and drools all the time.
- Chris Harrison breaks up the party and they all look like they want to kick him in the shins.
THE ROSE CEREMONY
- Serena P., Rachael, and Chelsea already have roses.
- MJ receives the first rose.
- Pieper, Bri, Magi, Michelle, Mari, Ryan, Kit, Serena C., Abigail, Katie, Queen Victoria, Lauren, Brittany, Jessenia, and Anna receive roses.
- The final rose goes to Catalina, which means four of the five new girls received a rose.
- Kaili, Khaylah, and new girl Kim, are going home.
- The Original Girls make it sound like they’re going to make this hard on the New Girls. Yay, mob mentality.
- Oh, former Bachelor Ben Higgins has shown up to offer some advice. I am fast-forwarding.
GROUP DATE (Mari, Bri, Abigail, Brittany, Ryan, Catalina, Magi, Anna, and Queen Victoria)
- Oh, Ben is also on the date and will be hosting the “Fall in Love Fest” obstacle course. It involves: pumpkin boats, squirrel costumes, acorns, balance beams, and running.
- The winner gets a special prize.
- Victoria takes the lead, while Magi can’t paddle to the dock.
- I don’t know how to provide commentary on the rest, so I’ll just say that Mari won.
- Chris Harrison awards her a trophy of golden nuts and says, “These nuts are yours.”
- Matt pulls Anna away first and she’s all excited. Ha, her conversation will probably be broken up by Brittany – the new girl Anna doesn’t like.
- AND HERE COMES BRITTANY RIGHT ON CUE.
- Just make me a producer of this show. I know their tricks.
- Anna sends her away for five minutes.
- Matt asks Anna, “What are things you want to tell me that ‘if he just knew this…’?” Anna goes silent.
- Anna is mad that she had to wait three weeks to get time and now Brittany, who has been there a day, feels entitled to time.
- Anna is now spreading rumours about Brittany to Victoria and every viewer at home, which I won’t share here because that is terrible irresponsible.
- Bri really makes the most of her time with Matt. We never see her complaining; she focusses on them.
- The group date rose goes to Bri. As it should. She’s great.
- Anna is now going after Brittany with ridiculous allegations, which aren’t fair at all.
- So, Anna got information from people about Brittany, a girl she’s never met, and all of a sudden they’re on The Bachelor together?
- I don’t even know why the show is airing this.
ONE-ON-ONE DATE (Michelle)
- The Original Girls are mad that one of the New Girls is getting a date. Yes, how dare Matt get to know someone he’s interested in?
- Chris Harrison has planned an Extreme Scavenger Hunt for them.
- The first clue has them going zip lining.
- The next message asks them how many kids they both want. On the count of three, they both say three.
- Well, that’s it. Send everyone else home.
- They’re having a lot of fun with each other and it doesn’t seem like a first date.
- Oh, here comes a green hot air balloon. It is HUGE.
- The girls at the house are spying on it with binoculars.
- I wish this show would eliminate the scenes where everyone gets jealous that they aren’t on the date.
- Matt says time flies when he’s with Michelle.
- Michelle talks about social injustice and teaching during a pandemic.
- Matt says the conversation with Michelle went a lot smoother than some of the conversations he’s had with women who have been there for four weeks.
- He’s glad they can talk about things that matter because that’s what he’s looking for in a women.
- Michelle receives a rose.
BACK AT THE HOUSE
- Brittany is talking to Katie and Ryan about the girls spreading rumours about her.
- Shoutout to Katie for being supportive and not jumping on the “let’s hate the new girls” bandwagon.
GROUP DATE (Katie, Pieper, Selena P., Rachael, Kit, Chelsea, Jessenia, Lauren, Serena C., and MJ)
- There will be a fighting aspect to this date.
- Matt says being physically fit and active is a big part of his lifestyle, so he’s invited former boxing champion, Mia St. John, to join them on this date.
- Tonight, they will be fighting in front of a live audience, but it’s a pandemic so it’s probably just the rest of the house.
- The girls are practicing their boxing skills in the forest.
TIME TO FIGHT
- Chris Harrison and Wells Adams are there to provide commentary.
- The first match is Katie vs. Jessenia. My money is on Katie.
- Oh man, Katie is landing a bunch of head shots. She won the fight.
- Serena C. vs. Kit. My money is on Kit. Ah, Serena won.
- Rachael vs. Pieper. No winner was announced.
- Serena P. vs. Lauren ended after Serena gets punched in the throat. Leave the Torontonian alone!
- What, we don’t get any more fights to determine a winner?
- This episode feels like it’s been 8 hours long.
- Rachael feels better now that she got to talk to Matt for the first time in forever.
- Matt tells Pieper he needs to do a better job of letting her know he likes her.
- “This night’s off to a great start.” – Matt
- Nooooooo he jinxed it.
- The girls on the date are complaining about the new girls and Katie speaks up and says they need to get over it and welcome the new girls in.
- Katie is going to let Matt know what all the girls are saying about each other. YES KATIE.
- Katie says it’s a good time to address the bullying in the house, as it’s become a mob mentality.
- Cut to footage of the girls laughing at other girls.
- They are SO MAD that five new girls showed up and can’t get over it. This is so ridiculous.
- DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHOW YOU ARE ON?
- Katie is the best. She’s the only one who is doing the right thing.
- It sounds like Matt will address the bullying next week.
See you all next week! I almost forgot the premise of this show was so Matt could find a wife…
What did you think of this episode?