A Letter To Becky

Dear Becky,

I’m tempted to make this letter all about baseball because I know you wouldn’t object to that, but I won’t. It’ll only be 75% about baseball. Balance is good, or something.

So, I went to the dentist yesterday and…no, screw it. This whole letter is going to be about baseball. It’s the one letter I’m writing where I don’t feel like I have to conjure up discussion topics based on what I’ve done recently.

You don’t need to hear about how fluoride is the worst, or about how its taste stays with me all day and resides in the pit of my stomach.

You don’t need to hear about how the one size fits all head rest on the dentist chair doesn’t fit anyone at all. Who did they have test that out? Someone’s elbow?

No, I won’t bore you with those details. Or the one about how I had to wear goggles as a safety precaution. Or about how the bib I was wearing got caught around the head rest and when I went to sit up, I was stuck.

Nope, this letter will not have any of that.

Baseball. Baseball. Baseball.

But first, you said that you’re obsessed by the Watergate scandal. I’ll admit, I don’t really know what that is, even though I’ve heard it mentioned a lot.

So I like it up on Wikipedia, and wowee, was I ever surprised.

All this time, I thought it was a scandal that had to do with water because every scandal or controversy is always called ___-gate. Like deflategate.

Nope! Not this one. Watergate is actually the name of the place that was broken into. Who knew!?

Wait, is Watergate where the “___-gate” thing originated? Life is making so much more sense now.

I’ll definitely read more about this now and peruse through some YouTube videos about it. I’m a big fan of historical scandals since the only ones we get these days are tweets on Twitter. Nothing outrageous ever happens anymore. And if it does, it takes months to know the full story.

Why do you like the Watergate scandal?

Alright, shall we talk baseball?

You’re a fan of the Red Sox and I’m a fan of the Blue Jays, which means we have a mutual disgust for the New York Yankees.

Though for some reason, I had a Yankees hat when I was a kid.

At the same time, I liked the Red Sox.

But the Blue Jays were my favourite.

I was a very confused child, it seems. There was just a lot to like about the Red Sox in the early 2000s. I liked their stadium, especially in video games. I liked Manny Ramirez because he was such a character in left field and always a threat to hit a home run.

And I liked their jerseys, especially in comparison to the plain, boring Yankee pinstripes.

I remember watching the Red Sox and Yankees face each other in the playoffs, and I’d sit there with a bowl of mint chocolate ice cream. That was my favourite ice cream ever.

It was a mix of mint ice cream and chocolate ice cream, with rectangular chocolate chips, which were soft enough to bite into with them making a big crunch.

They don’t seem to make that exact combination anymore. Now, there’s simply mint ice cream, with mini chocolate chips that are too crunchy to truly enjoy.

Or perhaps I’m not sticking my head in the right ice cream freezers at stores.

That’s quite the visual.

As for the current rosters of our teams, I’m jealous of how the Red Sox are able to develop their own draft picks into major league players, while also being able to go out and sign big name free agents.

The Blue Jays can’t seem to do either one.

We can’t attract big name free agents because we’re in Canada, it’s “colder”, we have artificial turf, etc. There’s a million excuses we tell ourselves.

Our best players in the last few years were all acquired via trade. We got Jose Bautista for a minor league catcher. Imagine that! He turned into a star.

We got Edwin Encarnacion because Cincinnati insisted we take him. He turned into a star.

We got Josh Donaldson for a bunch of prospects that were in the lower minor leagues. He won the MVP award.

We can’t seem to develop a Pedroia, or a Betts, or a Bradley Jr., or a Benintendi, or Bogaerts. Oh my God, you have so many.

The best position player we’ve drafted and developed in the last 15 years was Adam Lind. That says it all, I think.

So yeah, I’m jealous of the young, speedy talent your team has.

How do you view the Blue Jays, or how have you viewed them over the years? I think our fan base has the tendency to believe that no one in America thinks about us at all, or if they do, they think we’re a joke.

At the end of the 2016 season, or management said we needed to get younger and faster. That offseason, they signed Steve Pearce and Kendrys Morales, which is the definition of older and slower.

This season shall be interesting. It never plays out as the experts think it will, so who knows what will happen.

Question, Part 1: Have you ever been in a fantasy baseball league?

Question, Part 2: Would you want to be in a fantasy baseball league this season with me and some other bloggers, if we can find them? I think I know of two other people who would join. Anyone who joins would have to be baseball fans and committed to it. I hate when people drop off after one week.

And if we can’t get 8-10 people from WordPress, maybe we each ask a friend(s) to join?

Any interest? I think it would fun.

You don’t have to say yes. In fact, feel free to just say “No”. I won’t be offended at all.

I was in a fantasy baseball league last year and it was fun, except only 3 teams out of 12 took it seriously, which put a damper on it.

So let me know and I’ll set it up before the season starts!

Now then, you wanted me to tell you a story about a dog wanting to play professional baseball. Here it is.

It all started on “Dog Day at the Park” – the ever popular promotion where fans could bring their dog to the game. The game was in Los Angeles, because of course something like this would happen there.

There was a dog sitting on the third base side, in the first row. His name was Slider – yes, named after the pitch. This has to be a cheesy story!

Anyways, a lefty hitter came up to the plate and the infielders all shifted over to the right side. The third basemen went into shallow right field, leaving the shortstop as the only player on the left side.

Slider, having great instincts, had a feeling the hitter was going to drop a bunt down the third base line.

As the pitcher went into his slow (emphasis on slow) wind-up, Slider jumped the barricade and ran onto the field. Just as he was crossing the foul line, the batter dropped down a bunt up the third base line.

But the bunt was a little pop up!

Slider quickly got under it and made the catch in his mouth. If Slider weren’t there, it would’ve dropped and the batter would’ve reached first.

Well, the batter did reach first base (and second) because “Fan Interference” was called.

But from that moment on, fans wanted to see Slider play professional baseball. They started a petition and a Twitter hashtag for him – #MyEyesGetWiderForSlider.

And that’s where things sit (and stay) for now. Slider is still trying to make it onto a team. He’s attending the Free Agent Spring Training camp, if anyone’s looking for him.

The End. (To be continued…)

Lastly, you want to know the dumbest way I’ve ever been injured.

I’m not sure. I’ve never really gotten too injured.

I guess it would have to be when I’m swinging a baseball bat. Even if I wear batting gloves, after a while, a blister will form on the inside of my thumb and then the skin will peel off and when the mixture of sweat and dirt gets in there without me knowing, it’s quite painful…and then I have to swing a bat and it’s just awful.

That normally takes a few weeks to heal properly.

Is that a dumb way of getting injured? I think so.

Anyway, I must be going.

It’s rare that I come across a sports blog on here, let alone a baseball blog, let alone a baseball blog written by someone as knowledgable, entertaining, conversational, and friendly as yourself.

I look forward to this baseball season and the conversations we’re sure to have.

With 27 days until the season starts,

Paul