26

Today is my birthday.

You know what, I don’t know if I want to write this post anymore. It’s just so self-serving. No one on WordPress is notified when it’s a blogger’s birthday. We have to notify everyone else, ourselves.

It’s the obligatory “Aw shucks, well would you look at that, it’s my birthday” post, that comes with a wink and a nudge (I’d prefer fudge, but nooo) and an expectation that whoever reads your post will wish you a “Happy Birthday!”.

This will lead to us receiving birthday wishes from people all over the world and inflate our ego to levels only a helium ballon (with your age on it) could relate to.

No, I will not partake in this charade. This…this…horrible hoodwinking hatastrophe (Gimme a break with the alliteration, okay) which would only cause havoc! This…misuse of my blogging platform! I will not stand for it! I might sit though…

Nay, I say! Nay!

I will not do one of those “(Insert Age) Things I’ve Learned In (Insert Age) Years” posts. I am better than that!

I am Paul! The birthday boy! And I am better than every other blogger who subtly begs for birthday wishes!

Alright, can I stop with the act? I’m 100% here for the birthday wishes.

So without further adieu, here are: 26 Things I’ve Learned In 26 Years!

Just kidding.

I honestly don’t mind when people do those posts. Don’t let my sarcasm dissuade you from doing them in the future. That was a big word, wasn’t it? “Dissuade”.

Didn’t Elvis have a song called, “Dissuade Shoes”?ย Oh, the voices from the serious part of my brain are saying it was “Blue Suede Shoes”. Go figure, it’s your birthday, gonna party like it’s your birthday.

Um, where do I go from here?

Alright.

When I graduated from university, I was 21-years-old. The world was my slip and slide. It wasn’t my oyster – those are far too small and way less fun.

I finished my four years of school and thought I knew everything.

I could give presentations without reading from a script. I could memorize multiple lists and regurgitate them on exams. I could tell you why the sub station in the cafeteria was moving slowly.

I knew it all. With confidence through the roof and more friends than fingers and toes could count, I was on top of the world.

It didn’t take me long to realize I didn’t know much. That my farewell Facebook status which included the line “I know who I am” (Or something along those lines), was nothing more than five words of baloney.

Life hits you in the face when you get comfortable. When you fall into a routine with the months on the calendar and then the routine is gone, what do you do? I didn’t know.

My life had always been the same thing. The Labour Day long weekend would arrive. My birthday would land in close proximity. And then school would start a few days later.

Sometimes, school started on my birthday.

That happened in Grade 12. One teacher noticed it on their attendance sheet and pointed it out as they called my name. The rest of the class turned around and said, “It’s your birthday?”

I still don’t know if that was a trick question.

I always thought my birthday was a Fall birthday. I’ve always correlated September with the Fall. It’s one of the reasons why Fall is my favourite season.

But a few months ago, I realized my birthday technically lands in the Summer. I am still extremely disappointed by this. It’s never felt like a Summer birthday.

In elementary school, on one of the last days of school in June, they would announce all the summer birthdays over the PA System. During the school year, they would announce student’s birthdays, the day of.

Well, mine never got announced with the summer birthdays because they never took into account the birthdays that fell between the end of August and the first day of school.

Thanks for not caring about me!

Except in Grade 1, sorta. My birthday was the first day of school. They didn’t announce it. I’m pretty sure my mom made them announce it the next day. Minor victory.

So yeah, my birthday always got shoved in with a holiday and the first day of school. I didn’t mind. It always felt like September was the first month of the year.

I was born on Labour Day Monday. I’ve been a pun since the beginning.

When school wasn’t involved in my “routine” for the first time in 2013, it was a shock to the system. I didn’t know what to do with myself. My body felt like it should’ve been somewhere else.

At 26, I’m still trying to figure out who I am. That being said, I’m more sure of who I am now, than I was when at 21. I think that’s the point.

We don’t know what we don’t know, until we know. Ya know?

School made us compare ourselves to others every single day, whether we realized it or not. The one thing everyone needs to know about life, is that you can’t compare yourself to anyone. Doing so will crush you.

There are people my age who are married, have kids, have been at the same job for five years, live on their own, and can’t write a grammatically correct social media status.

I can’t claim ownership of any of those things. None of them are me. I am not that 26-year-old.

I am over here still trying to figure out where I’m supposed to be and what I’m supposed to be doing, all while dodging questions at Christmas parties and disappointing stares, which may just all be in my head.

This past year, I made an effort to reconnect with the things that once brought me joy, that I had neglected as time wore on. Doing so meant I unintentionally (subconsciously intentional?) cut out some friends in the process. I was selfish this past year. I don’t regret it.

My circle of friends is smaller, and if I’m honest, I like it this way. I like the conversations that don’t have a set beginning and end. The ones that don’t start with “Hey” and end with “I gotta go, bye”. I’m tired of them.

I like to think of my life as a giant puzzle. Time reveals each piece.

I can look back at the pieces I’ve already put together around the edges and see why they fit. But I can’t look forward to the middle of the puzzle because there is just a giant hole there.

If you tell your life story in reverse over, it makes even more sense than it does chronologically. Try it.

I’m still trying to figure out why time has gotten faster as I’ve gotten older. Are we not putting the same amount of seconds in each minute anymore?

Who can I talk to about this? Father Time? Mother Minute? Second Son? Daughter Digital Clock?

I mean, if you think about, we basically grow up in front of the mirror in our bathroom. One day, we’re climbing on the counter, trying to reach the faucet on our own. The next day, our feet don’t dangle anymore when we sit on the toilet.

We change. We don’t always see it happen. We just know that it did.

But for now, it is my birthday and I want cake.

I like to think of cake as a frosted puzzle piec-….

Alright, now I’m just getting weirder.

I gotta go, bye.

About Paul

I think of my blog as an all-you-can-read buffet. There's something for everyone and complimentary mints at the door as you leave.
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91 Responses to 26

  1. Miriam says:

    Happy birthday Paul. Here’s a triple indulgence chocolate cake with all the trimmings. ๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿช Oh and don’t worry about the age thing, I’m nearly twice your age still don’t know what I want. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Happy Birthday Paul!! ๐ŸŽ‰

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think they ARE making every minute have less seconds in it. It’s the only explanation.

    Oh, it’s your birthday? Why didn’t you say so! Happy birthday, Paul!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Happy Birthday! It seems like they get more introspective with each passing year as you get closer to 30 (and I’m only 28!) Enjoy the ride and have some cake ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  5. HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM ALL OF US TO YOU, HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAY ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE, HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY ON THIS YOUR SPECIAL DAY, HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY IS ALL WE’VE GOT TO SAY! HEY!!! Hope I did not beLABOR the point!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. rebbit7 says:

    Happy birthday, Paul! Like you, I contemplate the fact of getting older each year, which is both refreshing and depressing. Either way, as an adult it really makes you wonder how quick time has passed. There’s no pressure to settle yet, if you aren’t ready: true, there are friends and acquaintances who already seem like they have life figured out (work, house, family), but we all have our struggles and triumphs. Best wishes for this new year.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. happy birthday Paul!! you are the best and I love this entry

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Rea says:

    HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PAUL! ๐ŸŽ‰ Indulge yourself on a massive cake from Publix (if you have those in Canada) and enjoy all of the birthday comments and tweets!

    Btw: it’s spelled bologna (baloney). I know, it’s weird. But correcting you makes me feel like I can spell things when in reality I’m the worst speller ever๐Ÿ˜‚

    Again, have a happy happy birthday! Save me some cake

    Liked by 1 person

  9. micqu says:

    Vill Glรฉck fir dรคi Gebuertsdag, Paul.

    Your name is quite common where I am. In fact, I am in the same house with two other Pauls. Of course we say Pol. Long o. But yes, common name around here.

    26… I remember it like it was just 8 years ago. 26. Have a very happy birthday.

    Alles Gudds. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  10. peckapalooza says:

    I was tempted not to say it. But, come on… I’ve gotta say it. Happy birthday!

    Oh, and as for the feeling of fall beginning on September 1? I heard the weatherman on the news yesterday talk about how September 1 is the unofficial beginning of fall. Same goes with winter beginning on December 1 and summer beginning on June 1. Not sure about spring, though. He didn’t mention that one, but I assume it would be March 1. I’ve always felt like my birthday was a spring birthday, being March 6. Technically, it’s still winter.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      Woah, March 6 is still technically winter!? That’s craziness. I wonder how many people know that. I know a lot of people with March birthdays, I get along well with all of them.

      Thanks for the reluctant birthday wishes! I was kinda hoping someone would leave a comment and not say it, you were close.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Happy Birthday! September birthdays are just hard (mine is a little over a week away). Hope your new year brings your best writing yet!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Happy birthday, man! Hope you’re having the best day!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Zimm says:

    Happy birthday, dude ๐Ÿ™‚ enjoy the day and keep keeping on. One day soon, it’ll hit you; who you are, who you’re meant to be and all that jazz. Don’t rush it. Hell, I am 30 a d still don’t know those answers. Haha! Have a great one!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Ely says:

    I wished you a happy birthday a little after 1 am which means I win. ๐Ÿ˜‚ also if you antes birthday wishes, why didn’t ya just SAY SO?! Geez. So complicated! ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚anyways I’m so glad we met. I thoroughly enjoy being your friend. And I thoroughly look forward to many many more “I TOTALLY DO NOT need birthday attention” birthday-attention posts!! #teamgenius !!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. โ€œHappy Birthday!โ€ – I even left the quotes on it for you ha ha. By the way, don’t worry about what you do and don’t know or think you know in your 20s. Your 30s are where its at. Only 4 more years to go for you before the real good times start.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Barb Knowles says:

    My life is better than it was when you turned 21, because I didn’t know you then. And now you’re my blog son. I will enjoy watching your adventures, however great or small, as they unfold this year that you are 26. If you need perspective, I’m your age X 2 + 14. And entering my prime. You’ll have a great year and I wish you the happiest of birthdays. ๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ’Ÿ๐Ÿฐ Love, blog mom

    Liked by 1 person

  17. thewisegreek says:

    Happy Birthday! I love reading your posts they aren’t the typical blog posts you see everyday -like mine, haha. I hope you enjoy your day!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Tanushka says:

    You were born on labour day?
    Lol.
    I wish you very happy birthday! Eat tonnes of cake and pizza on my behalf. And about the age thing, I read somewhere that years feel smaller as each one passes by because they are becoming a lesser part of our life. To a one year old, it may her whols life. To a 26 year old, it’s just 1/26th of it.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Lynni says:

    Hehe happy birthday ๐Ÿ˜‚๐ŸŽ‰

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Thank you! By the way I’ve been meaning to mention, but didn’t know how without sounding weird…I think your blog name is fantastic! Always give me a chuckle when I see it lol

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lynni says:

        Aw thank you Paul! I always see you like my things and I really appreciate it โ˜บ๏ธ the name came from when I was 7, my friend called me that to make fun of me and it made me so sad at the time ๐Ÿ˜‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • Paul says:

        Haha noo really? Well I’m glad to see you’ve embraced it. I’ll try to leave comments on your posts more, even if it’s a product review and doesn’t apply to me. I still find it educational lol

        Liked by 1 person

      • Lynni says:

        Hahahah aw only if you want to! I’m glad you’re liking it – I look forward to seeing more of your stuff as well โ˜บ๏ธ

        Liked by 1 person

  20. Kristen Moreno says:

    Happy Birthday! Mine is ten days before Halloween, so I get the jokes and puns about birthdays. I get em a lot too. And I think time seems to pass more quickly as life goes on because the older we get, the more responsibilities and expectations we have to face and do. Our schedules get so filled up with these seemingly important things. And time gets eaten up by these things. Making it seem to go faster. Ah, adult life.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Mark says:

    Hahaha Happy Birthday, Paul! I’m in my sixties, and am just “finding myself”. You might have a ways to go!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. I’m a bit late to the party (apologies, I got distracted on the way over) but hurrah I have arrived! (I can tell you’re thrilled) – Happy Birthday Paul!

    Hope you’ve had a crackin’ good day ๐ŸŽ‰

    Btw (apologies no.2 – as slightly nerd moment following…) you’re correct about Autumn – it does start 1st Sept … meteorologically speaking ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  23. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAUL!!!! I know how you feel. I had a December birthday, and the one day we did have school on my birthday- we had a holiday party and barely anyone ate the cupcakes my parents worked hard to buy ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    Hopefully, this birthday was one of your best. I hope you got that cake. I actually baked a cake yesterday! So I’m gonna say I made it in your honor ๐Ÿ™‚ I am grateful you exist and hope you have a nice year!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Happy Birthday, Paul!

    Youโ€™re way ahead of me at 26. When I was 26, I had absolutely no idea what the hell I was doing, or why, or even where on some days.

    Though you shocked me badly when you said that your birthday is in Summer. Down here in the remote antipodes, I always believed Spring sprung (sprang? sprouted?) on the 1st of September. Now I find out it doesn’t start until about the 21st! And we are actually still, shockingly and deludedly, in Winter. Bummer. Well, Iโ€™ve decided Iโ€™ve seen enough green new leaves with daffodils and cherry blossoms flowering all over the place and Iโ€™m calling it. Itโ€™s Spring!

    I hope you enjoyed your cake!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      These four seasons need to be re-arranged and not go for so long. Each one lasts about 3 weeks longer than it should. It’s confusing!

      Thank you for the birthday wishes. I only pretend to have an idea of what I’m doing lol

      Liked by 1 person

  25. Squid says:

    Happy (belated) Birthday, Paul! I’m traveling in Ohio, so I missed your post until now. :l
    This was extremely deep and cool… Well done. ๐Ÿ™‚
    Squid
    P.S. I wanted to get you some fudge, but Keyboard-Mart was out… So, here’s some pizza! ๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ•

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Ariel Lynn says:

    Hippo birdie two ewe (AKA, Happy birthday to you)!

    If you were closer, I’d buy you a Fudge-y the Whale cake. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure it would melt before I got out of the states.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. simplyenblog says:

    “We change. We don’t always see it happen. We just know that it did” I love that.
    Take care and God bless and I hope you had a great birthday.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Olga Fry says:

    Happy birthday! Lots of things might change but one thing will always stay the same: enjoy the cake! Here’s to the start of a great year.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Catie says:

    I can’t believe you would write a post and not mention the fact that it’s your birthday! I mean, like no one does that. ๐Ÿ˜œ

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Quinn says:

    Happy birthday! I saw there was cake from your instagram and I’m so glad – it’s not a real birthday without cake! Hope it was amazing.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Myka says:

    The world was my slip and slide. It wasnโ€™t my oyster โ€“ those are far too small and way less fun.
    HAH I love this, actually. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I could tell you why the sub station in the cafeteria was moving slowly.
    LOL. This is great. ALSO this reminds me of the sandwich โ€œshopโ€ at my college & the nostalgia is crazy.

    โ€œThe one thing everyone needs to know about life, is that you canโ€™t compare yourself to anyone.โ€
    Things Iโ€™m working on incessantly for $300, Alex.

    โ€œIโ€™m still trying to figure out why time has gotten faster as Iโ€™ve gotten older. Are we not putting the same amount of seconds in each minute anymore?
    Who can I talk to about this? Father Time? Mother Minute? Second Son? Daughter Digital Clock?โ€
    Me? I have been really struggling with this, especially this year. I can honestly say I feel like New Years was a week or two ago. NOT 9 months. What in the actual Hell . . .

    Sidebar:
    My feet do still dangle when I sit on some public toiletsโ€ฆ

    Oh, happy birthday. ๐Ÿ™‚
    Iโ€™m glad we โ€œmetโ€.

    .xo.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. jaimieweb says:

    Happy Belated Birthday!

    Liked by 1 person

  33. thelittlegreywife says:

    Happy Belated Birthday! I hope it was one to remember in all the best ways!! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Ann Coleman says:

    Happy Belated Birthday, Paul! Hope you got that cake!

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Am I Thirty? says:

    Happy Belated Birthday!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Oh Paul! You amuse me. I just read ypur post about scented soaps. Lol. My amusement for the evening and going to be a discussion tomorrow at work because the handsoap we have in our restrooms just bother me lol. Im not the only one who doesn’t approve. I use ivory soap and I’ve contemplated carrying a small bottle with me everywhere I go so I don’t have to use scented soaps but I feel like I would alarm others and probably frighten them and be knighted a weirdo. Haha

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Haha “knighted a weirdo”. Or you will be a hero and everyone else could come out of hiding and join you in carrying their own soap because they probably secretly hate scented soaps too.

      Liked by 1 person

  37. messyhairbythesun says:

    Happy birthday!! You’re supposed to be the celebrated one but this post make me laugh like an idiot on a subway station; well that’s a treat for you haha
    Happy birthday again

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Laura says:

    Ack! Now I’m one of those “happy BELATED birthday” people, and I never know what to think about them. Are they just jumping on the bandwagon, or did they genuinely lose track of time? The brutal truth is (of course) I had no idea when your birthday was until you wrote this post, so I’m hoping my Happy Birthday is simply attributed to my I-suck-at-checking-in-with-my-blogger-friends-on-a-regular-basis flaw.

    Liked by 1 person

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