Roll Call – 2000 Followers

Miss me?

I like how I don’t post anything for an entire week and people send out a search party for me. Yes, I am alive. Yes, I am okay. Yes, I had pizza today.

Well, that covers everything.

Just a heads up, my posting schedule for the next two months will be solely based off of “How tired is Paul right now?” (I’ll explain more in a later post, maybe.)

Which means, I may never post again.

Which means, don’t expect something new every day like I’ve been doing for the last two months or so. However, there are currently 184 posts on my site that you can easily find and read if when you need to kill time at work.

If your boss catches you reading my blog, tell them to pull up a chair and read with you. It can be like story time for adults. Hope you all brought a pillow and blanket! A hard desk will suffice.

What you can expect from me this summer is many laughs and many pizza references. If you want more than that, just ask.

Also, my two year blogiversary is next Tuesday, June 23rd. So if you haven’t gotten me a gift yet, get on it! Pizza is not a gift, be creative.

Now to the purpose of this post.

Apparently, I have 2013 followers on this blog. I think that’s a lot, especially considering the fact I was at 1000 followers about two months ago.

I owe you all a giant “Thank You”. You can come pick it up from me personally, or just accept those two words and eight letters via the Internet.

I don’t want to get too sentimental with you for a second consecutive post, so I won’t.

Just know that I appreciate you, your comments, and your sense of humour.

Now, we’re going to have an old-fashioned roll call. I am taking attendance. If you are here, tell me you are here in the comments below. Also, tell me why you follow my blog. 

Basically, I want to shower in compliments for the first time in a week.

I’ll provide the soap.

It took one week for this blog to get awkward. One. Week.

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About Paul

This is the part where I'm supposed to write something interesting about myself and you'll read it and think, "That's not that interesting." So let's not do that and just think about pizza instead, on the count of three. One, two, three. Donuts. Now, wasn't that interesting?
This entry was posted in Humour and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

153 Responses to Roll Call – 2000 Followers

  1. izza ifzaal says:

    Hey Paulo 😛
    Everyone writes too damn serious and here you here always bringing in novelty with wits! If the world is facing a blackout, we have Paul in here telling us there is also a fly to be scared of or a new pizza in town to eat and blah blah 😀

    Liked by 4 people

  2. hmekeel says:

    I’m here! But not because you just told me you posted! Because I want to be. And that’s because you like pizza, I like pizza, and everything you write makes me chuckle. Our minds are very similar too and that’s cool. Also, how else would I learn about the great country of Canada?

    Liked by 2 people

  3. rebbit7 says:

    Present! 😉

    I follow you, because you never cease to amaze me with your fresh, innovative posts, offering a spin on cliches and otherwise trite blog topics. I admit, there are many days when I lack inspiration, but you never seem to run out of new, original ideas! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      Thanks for saying that! I’m glad I come across as someone with endless ideas haha because many days I’m sitting here with nothing, which is how those “original ideas” come about.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Issa says:

    hahaha oh story time for adults….now that you mentioned I was wondering what happened to your fly…

    Liked by 3 people

  5. shubhada says:

    Hi Paul. I’m here. 😛

    And I follow your blog because… It’s always light hearted. I can read your posts even when I’m tired. The same can’t be said with poems and philosophy, etc. And what I love the most about you’re blog is..
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Nah, you’re not gonna get any more compliments.

    Liked by 4 people

  6. Issa says:

    hahhahahaha yeah it only took one week. Oh men you really are stupid….. and really you appreciate our sense of humor….too sentimental men….too sentimental…wait what was the question???? oh why i follow your blog…I go around searching for the craziest people and pick their brains and their sense of humor…since it’s known that the crazies are the hilarious ones’….oh that was some long ass comment

    Liked by 3 people

  7. aayusi says:

    Present sir :p Lol! Your posts are love! They never cease to make me laugh!

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Jessie Reyna says:

    *insert Michael Jackson meme eating popcorn that says ‘I’m just here to read the comments.’* totally kidding. I read your blog because it always leads to a conversation, and I like conversations. However, I never seem to do well at job fairs and the thought of attending a networking convention terrifies me. So clearly I enjoy conversations with a select group of people. And your conversations are always hilariously enlightening.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Paul says:

      Hahaha I don’t like networking conventions either! (Hopefully none of our future employers read this). I enjoy conversations with people who can put humour in everything they say. That’s why we get along.

      Liked by 2 people

  9. Hey Paul, I’m here, I’m here! At least I think I’m here. Yes… I’m here. No wait… I’m over there, but not to worry, I will be here in a second, just as soon as I can figure out how to get down to the comments section of your post. There… now I’m here, or is it there? Anyway, as for your question.. why do I follow your blog… well for one… people always read you first, so they have no choice but to read me second… sometimes its third… but half the time its 5,428th, but most of the time they never read me at all. However, my material is always first rate—except when its not. Uh…number two… I’m always late… therefore; I can’t possibly be your leader, so I’ve been reduced to being your follower…2nd class. This, I suppose would be more than a little bit creepy, were it not for the fact that you seem to be handling it all rather well. Has the restraining order expired yet? Just asking. But, your the best Canadian writer from Toronto who eats pizza and started the international holiday know as Looney June I’ve ever read. Also, it was always a dream of mine (ever since I was 2 hours old) to say that I was a friend of somebody who is famous and writes a blog with over 2000 followers, and although I’m still hoping to do that… I still like laughing at your blog in the meantime… I mean… laughing at the post’s in your blog while I wait for that to happen. Yes… I guess that’s about it…oh… that, and I worship your blog—ever since I learned to read Canadian on that scholarship you sent me. I went to Russia like you asked me too, and learned pig-Latin Canadian from the Siberians, and although its not pure Canadian, like the way you write, I feel when I read your post’s, I can still make out about 30% of the writing, which is not bad…eh? ;o)

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      Haha oh Paul, you’ve really outdone yourself this time. This comment is a piece of art. I want to break it down topic by topic, but I feel like I would ruin its masterpiecefulness. If 30% of the words I write make sense to you, I’m a happy man…I mean Paul. I’m a happy Paul.

      Liked by 1 person

      • LOL Yes, it is the sort of beautiful thing that sits there like ah… like ah Michelangelo or a Da Vinci, only it is disguised in its masterpiecefulness as a Warhol hanging in my bathroom, just waiting to be discovered by someone who has the time to sit there and dissect its bountifulness word by word. I am so glad that you and I are happy Paul’s and not a couple of happy Susan’s, as that would likely be… somewhat disturbing, and more than a little coincidental. Oh, and due to my new correspondence course in Canadian, my understanding of the Canadian written word is up to an all time high… 31.2%. Such microscopic leaps in Canadian could never have been possible without the expert tutelage I receive from your blog. :O)

        Liked by 1 person

      • Paul says:

        31.2%!!! This calls for celebration. Good thing we aren’t a couple of Susan’s, I hear they are a bit lazy. We’re a lot lazy. Also, one day very soon “Cluttered Attic” will be used in the same sentence as Da Vinci and Michelangelo.

        Like

      • I take great pride in our being a lot lazy, and not just a little bit. The knockoffs of the statue of David, and my copy of the Mona Lisa that I passed off as originals have been gathering dust in those museums long enough. It’s high time I display the originals, which I have stored in my attic—publicly!

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Mon says:

    *Raises hand*
    *Clears voice*
    “You see, I just like folks with a sense of humor and great writing style. I shall be waiting for my soap, Paulo”.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. Buzzer Beater Supreme says:

    * Raises hand * Here! (or “present”, maybee?)
    I also had pizza for dinner, dreamt of a pizza cone during my nap and plan on pizza for brunch.
    Why? Because pizza

    Liked by 2 people

  12. heymeghan91 says:

    Oh good! You’re back. I’ll call off the search dogs. I’m sorry if they scared you. HI PAUL! I like your blog because……pizza. Yep…pizza.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Lol. ….I Will Not Live in Vain: Present! 🙂 I follow you because I enjoy your sense of humor 🙂

    Like

  14. peckapalooza says:

    Present!

    And I’m here because someone said something about pizza. I’m starting to think I’m gonna walk away hungry, though.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Present and accounted for, Cap’n!
    I am fairly new to your blog after seeing you on Freshly Pressed. Your posts are witty and insightful and plus, you’re a fellow Canadian, so there’s that. Looking forward to reading more!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Squidtea says:

    *waves hand wildly in air, due to shortness, not many people would notice me* Present! I always look forward to your posts in my reader because they always make me laugh. Enough that I have to explain to my whole family why I am laughing at my tablet. Then reexplain the joke. 🙂 And you’re the only looney Canadian pizza-eater I know of on WordPress, so why wouldn’t I follow you? And the hilarious dialogue in the comments is always fun to read.
    Keep up the good work!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. DoesItEvenMatterWhoIAm? says:

    Oh ok mister, I think that seeing as I wrote an entire post on my own blog about the awesomeness of the 3 Pauls (yourself included) I don’t need to further stroke your ego in the comments section here. Amirite? You know I adore you! Xoxoxoxo M

    Liked by 2 people

  18. I think 2012 others have already been here. I am already late. Happy blogiversary Paul. Keep the laughter coming.

    Liked by 2 people

  19. anxietybug88 says:

    PRESENT. As in “I’m here,” not that I have a present for you. You’ll get nothing and like it. Well, maybe I’ll get you a cupcake or something. It’s technically not pizza. I follow you for the hilarity that gets me up every morning and puts me in a good mood. Coffee also puts me in a good mood, but coffee can’t make me laugh. I’m just kidding, coffee. I love you.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. garym6059 says:

    I like the sense of humor and congrats on the bigger following!

    Liked by 2 people

  21. paigetheresa says:

    Don’t scare me like that, Paul! I thought you had fallen into a coma. I follow your blog because you always put a smile on my face and make me laugh 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  22. abcmommyof4 says:

    I’m new here, but I enjoy your humor!

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Mez Akhtar says:

    Paul! I’m here!!!
    Well I’m British, most of the time we’re busy being too serious to read fun things or eat pizza, that’s why I rdad your blog.
    I think you’re a very talented writer. You can convey your persona through your writing extremely well.
    Don’t stop blogging!!! You’re just too funny! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  24. amorefado says:

    HERE, professor…Sir! Why do I like reading your blog? You’re entertaining, witty, and we share a similar sense of humor. Plus you’re Canadian, let’s be real, who doesn’t like a good ol’ fashion Canadian? Okay, now let’s get married.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. RENÉE says:

    I’m here because pizza & because your posts are more relatable than some of the other more “serious” (everyone seems to be saying that) blogs 🙂 and pizza. Did I mention that already?

    Liked by 2 people

  26. I’m here! But I’m not telling you why I read your blog….You’ll just have to guess. 😛

    Liked by 2 people

  27. tontaybla says:

    Hey I’m, here glad you are too. Can’t say that I noticed you were gone but you should have seen the look of excitement on my face when I saw a new post email in my inbox. I like to read your blog because you send out great funny short story type posts all the time. I love to read but a novel can can be a bit drawn out sometimes.

    Liked by 2 people

  28. Little Rants says:

    I’m here! Panda Rants!

    I follow you because:

    1. You love pizza.
    2. The How Old Robot annoys you.
    3. You’re funny.
    4. You’re my friend 😀

    God, I missed you!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  29. datingflops says:

    I’m here 🙂

    You are entertaining. And I like to read a male’s perspective on life. Keep it up!

    PS. Pizza is awesome too 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  30. Barb Knowles says:

    There are only a handful of blogs that I read every day. EVERY DAY. During the week there are a lot I read, but only 4-5 every.single.day. And, obviously, yours is one. You make me laugh uproariously and tear up at times( tear as in cry, not as in you make me rip things). What will happen to Barb’s blog featuring Paul? See? You’re going to have to stay awake every day long enough to find out.

    Liked by 2 people

  31. Titan Panda says:

    I’m still here. 184 blog posts and counting. Guess who?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      This comment put the biggest smile on my face. I know exactly who this is! M&M. #hotlava

      Liked by 1 person

      • Titan Panda says:

        I would have been insulted if you didn’t know who it was. Then it would have been 184 and done… not really but I can leave an open-ended threat on your blog for later cause #thisblogwaspartiallymyidea

        Liked by 1 person

      • Paul says:

        Haha I knew who you were the second I saw your name but if I didn’t I could see your email too. Sneaky eh? This blog was partially your idea, feel free to say anything you want! And make more comments, this is fun lol

        Like

      • Titan Panda says:

        Email security around here is about as reliable as Brock’s wifi

        Like

      • Paul says:

        Someone thought they were sending me an anonymous comment one time. And it was a comment where they disagreed with something I said…then I saw their email account and realized it was someone on my Facebook friend list haha caught them.

        Like

  32. Liz says:

    They had a search party? Funny, I wasn’t invited. Though I did have a thought when I noticed my feed was void of your posts. It was something like “gosh, I hope I didn’t unfollow Paul again by accident”. And this is why I love your blog. I think of it without prompt. Congrats, friend and Woo Hoo!!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      Good to know you’re thinking of me/my blog! And you’re invited to my blogiversary party next Tuesday. You can give people makeovers when they’re not eating pizza.

      Liked by 1 person

  33. Liz says:

    I am either imagining things, or I am repelling technology. I made a beautifully crafted comment and it is gone. Please tell me I’m hallucinating…

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Liz says:

    Also, yes. Makeovers. And healthy snacks. I’ll be the one carrying the allergen free foods

    Like

  35. amandatori says:

    Hey Paul!
    I follow your blog because… You are refreshingly funny! Plus, you write in such an easy, conversational way.
    You seem like a down to earth person. And a good friend!

    Liked by 1 person

  36. George says:

    Because you’re an interesting read and like pizza. Congratulations..:)

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Present, sir!
    One sentence would suffice- Your blog is awesome and fun!

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Present, sir!
    I’m here for the pizza!
    Just kidding!
    I read your blog because it makes me laugh and then my small brother looks at me laughing like a maniac while staring at the screen and calls me crazy…
    Yeah, that’s what happens every time.

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Funny post, Paul! Glad I checked on my favourite blogs today! Please put a tick next to my name. Your posts have always been brilliantly orchestrated. You craft them so well, and that’s why you have so many followers. Now, you’re not going to be spoilt with appreciation so… 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  40. Frederick says:

    Here! Your blog gives a refreshing twist to mundane everyday events and that’s why I read it!

    Liked by 1 person

  41. James says:

    Sorry I’m late! I follow your blog because it’s one of the first I clicked on when using the search tag humor (or was it humour?) that actually was funny. I was also going to steal your jokes and pass them off as my own but you’ve ruined that by following my blog…

    Liked by 2 people

  42. JM Stories says:

    Paul, as I’ve said in other comments (now, don’t get greedy), you stun me on a regular basis with your consistently well-written humor. It is a treat to read and I’m grateful to have stumbled upon your site. Don’t ever change, baby! Unless you want to write one crappy post to prove that you’re human. This aspiring humorist would be soothed to know that even the greatest sometimes stumble.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      That’s a great idea! Maybe I’ll write an absolutely terrible post and see what reaction I get haha. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. You’re the reason why I went back and posted the one about the elephant today. I appreciate the confidence boost!

      Like

  43. *raises hand* PRESENT!!!!!
    Yes, I’m THAT kid.
    I took a bit of a blogging hiatus as well, but it’s great to read your posts. (I’m on a bit of a Captain’s Speech binge-read.) They always make me laugh and considering the crappy month I’ve had, it’s great to be able to be distracted for awhile. Congrats on 2K, it is very well deserved!

    Liked by 2 people

  44. Deeksha says:

    Another Hit! I’ve joined the blog bandwagon recently, and you were among the first to support me! Thank you for that! I love all of your writing, and I can’t wait to read every new post you put up! You’re hilarious, amazing, and you talk a lot about pizza; that counts for everything good in my book! 😀 Good Luck on your posts going forward! Lots of love! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Oh you’re far too kind, thank you very much! 🙂 I just re-read your introduction post and still remember it and which exact line had me hooked and made me follow your blog.
      It was when you said: “I’m a YouTube-crazy perfectionist, a slightly pretentious snob, and a little more than a little strange.” I just thought that was the coolest sentence to write in an intro and knew I had to follow you haha.

      Liked by 1 person

  45. Bipolar Girl says:

    I’m here because you amuse me, and you’re also kinda cute.

    Liked by 2 people

  46. Lyndsi says:

    I actually read all of your posts… which says a lot about you because I only have a handful of bloggers that I can say that about. I like reading your posts because they are entertaining and hilarious (also educational at times like when you wrote about Canadians).

    Liked by 2 people

  47. I’m not always here, but I am. I followed you because of your centennial post, but I continue following you because you interact with your followers and I admire that. Also, you are funny, but I am sorry to tell you this… I do not like pizza as much as you do.

    Liked by 2 people

  48. Suri says:

    Aye aye Captain!! 😛
    I read your blog because of the humour, sass & sarcasm in your posts! I mean, it’s awesome. Allows me to take my life lightly for a while, give it a laugh & enjoy it as it is! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  49. BAHAHAHAHA this post was funny and awk. Amazing. And why I’m here in the first place. Congrats!

    Liked by 1 person

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