Monthly Archives: May 2015

Stuck On The Subway

Posted on May 31, 2015 by Paul

Y’all know what a subway is, right? The train that runs underground and causes a big gust of wind when it pulls into the station. Yeah, that. Not the sandwich place. I was not stuck on a sandwich. Get your mind … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 60 Comments

Future Global Phenomena

Posted on May 30, 2015 by Paul

Ever wonder what global phenomena are going to suffocate our planet in the coming years? I’m not talking about fads that go away after a few days, like that black and blue dress debate. I’m talking about legitimate phenomena; things that are here to … Continue reading →

Posted in Life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 47 Comments

The “Skimming” Experiment

Posted on May 29, 2015 by Paul

I’ll let you in on a little secret. When I have nothing to write about, I think of the craziest thing I could possibly present on my blog, and then I do it. And that’s what I did with my … Continue reading →

Posted in Random | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 96 Comments

Skimming

Posted on May 29, 2015 by Paul

Have you ever written a blog post and wondered if people actually read every single word of it before they like, or comment on it? I do, all the time. Especially when I post something that is close to 1000 words … Continue reading →

Posted in Random | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 214 Comments

I. Am. Poet.

Posted on May 26, 2015 by Paul

I am a poet Bet you didn’t know it Now I gotta show it Better not blow it. This sounds like a rap, or is it just me? The sky is dark Not even a park Or a guy named … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 89 Comments

One Week Until Looney June

Posted on May 25, 2015 by Paul

Gee willikers, where has the time gone? If you don’t know what Looney June is, let me explain it quickly. May 4th is Star Wars Day. I’ve never seen Star Wars. However, I’ve seen Space Jam. And Space Jam has to … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 58 Comments

Turning Lyrics Into Sentences

Posted on May 24, 2015 by Paul

I’m telling you right now, this was an awful idea. Keep reading! I always like trying something different with my blog. This post is extremely different. If someone tells me this has been done before, I won’t believe you. I … Continue reading →

Posted in Music | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 97 Comments

Two Year Blogiversary Invitation

Posted on May 23, 2015 by Paul

You are all cordially invited to the two year blogiversary of The Captain’s Speech. Who: You What: Two Year Blogiversary Where: The Captain’s Speech When: Tuesday, June 23, 2015 Why: It’s basically a holiday What to bring: FOOD and a piñata  Are gifts necessary?: … Continue reading →

Posted in Random | Tagged , , , , , , , | 59 Comments

In Your Dreams

Posted on May 22, 2015 by Paul

Sleeping is a bit weird, isn’t it? I mean, we just lie there for hours like a sack of potatoes. If we’re feeling dangerous, maybe we’ll roll over, or drool, or fall off the bed, or start talking, or go for … Continue reading →

Posted in Life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 66 Comments

Freshly Pressed Acceptance Speech – Round 3

Posted on May 19, 2015 by Paul

I woke up this morning after about six hours of sleep and immediately turned on my phone wiped away some drool. Then I turned on my phone. 76 new emails were loading, dozens more would follow a few minutes later. That’s when I … Continue reading →

Posted in Awards | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 74 Comments