Hello, Again

Hi everyone. My name is Paul. And I am a blogger.

(Hold for, “Hiiiiii Paauuulll”)

Is anyone reading this? No? Yes? It’s not like anyone will answer me, I just thought I’d ask that rhetorical question because it’s the norm with a new blog.

Speaking of new blog, this is not one.

But lately I’ve been reading some new blogs and their first posts put mine to shame, so this is a do-over.

108 blog posts later, this is my introduction. Reintroduction? Introduction. Who cares, just keep reading.

I started this blog because people told me I should. I really didn’t have any say in the matter. Well, I did. I made it. But the original idea was not mine. Other people said I should start a blog, and I folded like a lawn chair and started this blog.

As I said earlier, my name is Paul. You can call me Paul. Or you can call me Paul. Your choice.

I will be the voice inside your head as you read the words I write.

If at any time you don’t like my voice in your head, keep reading until you do. Or you can click to something else on the Internet, but why would you hurt me like that?

The name of this blog is: The Top of the Muffin. For no other reason than the top of a muffin is always the best part of a muffin. The bottom of the muffin is just there as the base. It never tastes as good and it just really….

What’s that? That’s not the name of this blog?

Darn, maybe it should be. I thought of that in two seconds and had a good reason for it.

The real name of this blog is: The Captain’s Speech.

That is derived from my love of sports, and history of being an intramural captain at school and giving pre-game speeches to my team.

There isn’t really a theme for this blog. But if I had to be narcissistic, I’d say the theme for this blog is, well, me.

I am the theme of this blog.

Just as you should be the theme of your blog. Even if you’re just talking about sports, or movies, or fashion, or TV shows, or school all the time, the theme of your blog is you. Don’t forget that.

Because after all, the words you write are coming from your head.

I will be writing about anything that comes to mind, that I think I can turn into a blog post. Specific, I know.

Those of you who have been following my blog for a while, know exactly what I’m talking about. I think I write about things that aren’t very common to write about, and that excites me.

I’ve never been one to steal ideas or do something that has already been done. Or at least I try not to.

My goal here is to cater to my strengths, while hopefully entertaining whoever reads this blog. If you can’t tell already, I like sarcasm. I like humour. I like making people laugh. I like putting a smile on your face. I don’t want to bore you. Even if it’s a serious post, I want you to be interested.

I want this blog to be easy to read. I don’t want you tuning out halfway through, and I realize part of that is my responsibility. I want to give you a reason to keep reading.

Start a conversation with me in the comments section! WordPress is just a big family with siblings we don’t know we have. Tell me you exist, is basically what I’m trying to say.

As for “interesting things” about me, I dread this part. I always hate being asked, “tell me something interesting about you.” Really? You really want to know? It’s worse when they ask for a specific number of things. You want to know eleven things about me? Why?

I’d rather have a conversation, and have you slowly learn things about me. That being said, ask me questions. The dumber, the better.

Every post on my blog reveals something new about me, rather than me telling you everything on the “About Me” page. I don’t even know what that page says anymore. All I know is, it’s been edited many times because I find it uncomfortable.

But since this is a reintroduction…introduction…no…this is a reintroduction. That’s what this is. No it’s not. It’s a do-over, which means the first introduction never happened. I don’t know.

That’s another thing, I banter with myself in my posts for comedic effect. See, even saying that, I feel uncomfortable. I don’t feel comfortable telling you I’m funny. You should be able to decide if I am, or not, on your own. We all have a different sense of humour.

But seriously, I’m funny. Take my word for it.

As I was saying, since this is a do-over of my first post, I’ll tell you 23 “interesting” things about me. One for each year I’ve been alive. See, I just subtly said how old I was.

1. My favourite food is pizza. Just give it to me any time of the day.
2. My favourite colour is blue. Just blue. I’m not egotistical and need a shade of blue.
3. I graduated with a Bachelor of Sport Management. Yes, I is smart.
4. I hate sports. That’s a lie.
5. I live in Canada. My family and I live in an igloo and, yes, we have dog sleds. Mush!
6. Two of the three things in #5 were a lie.

Be right back, gotta fix a crack in the igloo.

7. I lie a lot. That, too, is a lie.
8. I’ve never had sushi. Don’t freak out, it’s okay. I’m okay.
9. Ketchup on top of macaroni and cheese might be the nastiest combination I’ve ever seen.
10. I can’t draw. At all. I can draw sausage people. A house. Clouds. And a tree out front. Don’t push it.
11. I have a good memory. For instance, I was born on September 2nd. I remember the date. But seriously, I have a good memory.
12. I worked at a summer camp for three glorious years.

This is tough, 11 more to go.

13. I am six feet tall, but I haven’t been this height my entire life. I used to be six foot two. Laugh, that was a joke.
14. Sitting on the couch, watching TV, is one of my favourite things to do. Judge me.
15. I’ve never had a nose bleed. Knock on wood. DO IT. I don’t want a nose bleed.
16. Coke and Pepsi are the same thing, stop asking me what I prefer.
17. I like to humorously make a big deal out of small things, like lines at buffets.
18. I do a lot of these blog posts in the middle of the night. I find it peaceful.

Five…more…to…go. Guys, I’m labouring. This is tough. I should’ve lied and said I was 14.

19. I can’t stand slow walkers, or people that walk at me and expect me to dodge them. But I will dodge them because I don’t want to walk into them.
20. My favourite band is 30 Seconds To Mars. If you like them, let me know!
21. Lead pencils give me anxiety. THOSE THINGS ARE MOMENTS AWAY FROM DEATH ALL THE TIME.
22. The last time I thought the floor was hot lava was four years ago.
23. I don’t drink coffee.

Those last five took me about twenty minutes to think of.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this and decide to read more.

I’ve been told there are some good things on this site, but I’ll let you form that opinion. You have one day to form that opinion.

Okay, I’m done.

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About Paul

This is the part where I'm supposed to write something interesting about myself and you'll read it and think, "That's not that interesting." So let's not do that and just think about pizza instead, on the count of three. One, two, three. Donuts. Now, wasn't that interesting?
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54 Responses to Hello, Again

  1. Hiii Paul! I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. Every Italian’s first choice of food is PIZZA! Except me!!! Lol am I a sorry excuse of an Italian? -.-‘

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Asariels Muse says:

    Yes, someone is reading, stumbled on it in explore. Do-over? Hmmmm I might exist but that is yet to be determined. If you don’t drink coffee what do you do with it? Have fun re-doing

    Like

  3. markbialczak says:

    And I thought I knew you. Hi, Paul.

    Like

  4. Jessica says:

    LOL! You gained a follower, Paul! Hiiiiiiii Paauullllll.

    Like

  5. Hiiiii Paauullllll ! Nice reintroduction btw!
    I just read quite interesting facts about you, and I am quite relieved too!
    no kidding……. I have never had sushi and honestly people think I am not normal 😛
    U got a pretty nice comic timing!

    Like

  6. ruggedmaniacgirl says:

    Led pencils? Huh. Must be some Canadian thing.

    Like

  7. Ashley says:

    Hiiii Paaaul!
    Lead pencils give me anxiety too – I never have any spares when they bleed dry D:

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Mindy says:

    Ketchup on macaroni and cheese and slow walkers are all things I can’t stand!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Thanks for the follow! Looking forward to reading more fun stuff from your blog. Cheers 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I love coffee. Someday I’m going to have sex with coffee.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Lyndsi says:

    Pizza is the best… and I am not ashamed to admit that every time my oven timer goes off, my two year old yells Pizza! (It’s not possible to eat to much). I don’t really understand the hype behind sushi, and I love 30 seconds to Mars!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Your son sounds like a smart little boy! Catching on quickly. You’re one of the few people that has ever agreed with me about sushi!…and 30 Seconds To Mars for that matter! I don’t think they get the kind of recognition they deserve.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I’m guessing when you were talking about those early bloggers putting your first post to shame..you were talking about mine?

    That was a lie. This was written before my first post.

    I do actually have a sled dog, and I live in the South. And he actually doesn’t get too hot.
    That was not a lie.

    Okay, maybe the last part was a tiny lie. I let him come inside in the summer. He’s tough.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      You’re a liar like I am! I like it. You have a sled dog? That’s awesome! Do many people have one where you live or are they not common? I’d imagine they are convenient in the winter.
      I just read your first post….yup definitely put my first post to shame!

      Like

  13. kathypaton says:

    I love your style of writing Paul! It’s really captivating 🙂
    I’m going to have a look through the rest of your blog now!!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. LOL Hi Paul… this is Paul too! My god, this is a small world! I am very impressed to find out that you are a risk taker. Playing chicken with people walking on the sidewalk can be quite dangerous though. I hope you never have to swerve out of the way, and possibly hit a Mountie, I hear they give out tickets, but they’re not golden tickets. But seriously, I love this reintroduction, because I was able to figure out the two things in number five that were the lies. I know you’re not really Canadian, because nobody lives in Canada, that’s a fallacy. They all migrated south to America, just ask Michael J. Fox, Justine Bieber, and Ted Cruz. And only Eskimos live in igloos, and they all live in Alaska. So please hug your sled dogs for me, and I’ll see you in the Iditarod.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Normally when I hit a mountie I immediately say sorry and then they say sorry for being in my way and then I say sorry that they were in my way. And then we nod at each other and go in opposite directions…until the next encounter. You’re the first person to figure out the sled dogs were real! Well done for figuring it out.

      Like

  15. Udit. says:

    Hi. You’re quite humouros, I find your posts too-honest and funny.
    Also, This is War is one of my favourite songs.
    Good to meet you!

    Liked by 1 person

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