Halfway To Fifty

Today is my birthday. I am 25 years old. For some reason, it doesn’t feel real to me. As if today is someone’s 25th birthday, but not mine. Like a, “Sorry, you have the wrong number” situation.

But it is my birthday. And as I get older, it feels like the years go by faster. Is that how it is for everyone? Because I swear I just turned ten years old the other day.

I was born on Labour Day Monday. I guess you could say that puns have been apart of who I am since day one. That’s what I say, at least.

Aging is weird when you think about it.

I’ve been alive for 25 years, but I don’t remember the first four years of my existence. Those years are a rumour. A myth, if you will. If I didn’t know any better, I would just assume that everyone enters the world as a 4-year-old ready to take on the rigours of kindergarten.

I almost feel ripped off. I’m a 25-year-old with only 21 years of memories. Maybe it’s better this way. I probably don’t want to remember the diaper days. They seem uncomfortable.

What’s also weird to me is the fact that we stare at ourselves in the mirror every single day, yet never catch ourselves growing up.

I’ve gone from a kid who couldn’t see over the counter in the washroom without a stool, to an adult with facial hair that I’m too lazy to shave on a regular basis.

And it all happened right in front of my eyes. How? How did I grow up and not notice? When did my hands get bigger? Has this hair on my arm always been there? Is there still a quarter behind my ear?

I don’t have answers to any of these questions.

I’ve grown up in a world where it’s impossible not to compare myself to others. It all started in school when everyone got their test scores back. “What did you get?” echoed around the classroom, until everyone found out where they stood in the unofficial class power rankings.

We can read the statement, “Don’t compare yourself to others” all we want, but we will still do it. The key is to not let the results of the comparison bother us.

I am not the 25-year-old who knows what they want to do with their life.

I am not the 25-year-old who is married and has kids.

I am not the 25-year-old who is travelling the world.

I am not the 25-year-old who is posting too many obnoxious pictures of themselves and their girlfriend on social media.

I am not the 25-year-old who has everything figured out.

I am far from those things, yet I’m surrounded by people my age, and younger, who are those things. Does that bother me? I don’t know. Depends on the day.

If I were to look back on my life, I see all the good things that have happened to me and how most of them came about unexpectedly.

We have all gone to sleep at night while playing out fictional scenarios in our head and never seeing any of them come to fruition.

God has blessed me with a life full of things that I never knew I wanted, or liked. If I’m being honest, I never really planned anything. Things have just happened. I can’t really explain it.

There are two quotes that could possibly sum up my life.

The first one being: “Good things happen all the time. Great things happen unexpectedly.” I think I created that quote.

The second one is: “When you know, you know.” I think everyone created that quote.

For me, I’ve never known what I’m looking for, whether it’s a job, a university program, or a pair of shoes. But when I see it, I know within two seconds that it’s meant for me.

I had never heard of Sport Management before. But when I saw that it was a program that existed, I knew it was for me. I knew where I wanted to go to university before my heart could complete a beat.

Never in a million years did I ever think I would’ve worked at a camp. But the second I saw the job posting, I immediately knew that’s where I had to go. Crazy.

When I did an internship during the summer before 4th year, I knew the moment I read the first two lines of the job post that I was getting the job. There was never an ounce of doubt. I wasn’t nervous for the interview. I wasn’t concerned that there were six candidates for the job. I just knew that I would ultimately get it.

So when people want to talk about everyone having a path in life and “God’s plan”, yeah, I believe it. Because my life is proof of it.

That’s not to say I didn’t have to put myself in certain situations and work for what I got. It just feels like everything I’ve done has prepared me for something else, something I never even imagined.

I also try not to look too far ahead. This whole “5 year plan” and “10 year plan” is nonsense to me. Poppycock, even. I don’t know where I’m going to be next week, how am I supposed to know where I’ll be in 5 years?

The only thing I’ve thought about that I want in life is to be 70 years old and sitting on the porch with my wife watching the sun go down.

Yeah, I just got really cheesy.

Because I know if I can get to that moment, then all the years between now and then will have worked themselves out the way they were supposed to.

So, even though I am 25 years old and have no clue where I’m headed in life, I know I’ll eventually end up somewhere and that “somewhere” is exactly where I’m meant to be.

I admit, sometimes it’s scary and discouraging to see people younger than me so far ahead of where I am in life. But I was never the fastest runner in gym class and still made it to the finish line just the same.

I’ll be fine.

I’m halfway to fifty, but for right now, I’m just a day older than yesterday.

Scratch that, I’m 8 years old. Who wants to build a blanket fort and spin in circles until we’re dizzy?

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60 Responses to Halfway To Fifty

  1. MicheleMariePoetry says:

    Thanks for the smiles…great post. And you’re right, you’ll just know when it’s right 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I like the way you think about life. It was a nice read 🙂 and happy birthday!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Squid says:

    BLANKET FORT, PLEASE! 😀😄 In all seriousness, though, it sounds like the Holy Spirit is quite direct with you, and you don’t doubt God’s plan. I really admire that.
    You’re the 25 year old blogger who makes his followers look forward to his posts so they can read them out loud to their families because something in said post was so awesome. I’d say you’ve done something with your life.
    Congrats being a quarter old!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Jess says:

    I sent you a virtual ice cream cake. I hope it’s delicious.

    Twenties are a weird time. I also have no idea what the heck I’m doing. I change my mind about what I want to do with my life every single day. I fear that I will never be satisfied, and maybe that’s both a good and bad thing. Some days, I’m extremely happy with what I have, and I have the freedom to do just about anything, and then other days I feel unfocused and a blob of a human. I have to remind myself that just about every single person I know my age is going through the same thing. To be quite honest, I don’t think anyone has it figured out. In your twenties, it’s about figuring out what your career path is and working towards that. In your thirties, it’s parenthood. In your forties, it’s still parenthood with a mid-life crisis in between. And then so forth. I don’t think the feeling will stop, just the subject matter.

    Anyways, HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND WELCOME TO 25. It’s no different than 24.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I’ll get the blankets and the gummy worms! Happiest of birthdays to you Paul! You might be halfway to 50 but you’ll forever be 8 in my mind 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Happy Birthday…Hope you have a great day!!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. heymeghan91 says:

    Spinning in circles is one of my favorite hobbies. Happy birthday old fart (but I’ll be joining you in less than two months).

    Liked by 2 people

  8. rebbit7 says:

    Happy birthday, Paul! 25 is a big milestone. Wishing you a good day!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Angela says:

    I’m up for the Blanket Fort!! Happy Birthday Paul!!! 25 is young, I’m 32 and I don’t have it figured out but happy to go along for the ride and see what life throws my way….I just realised I was actually 33 last month, haha, how did that happen?
    Have a great day, with lots of laughs!!

    Liked by 2 people

  10. preach! gonna try and say happy b-day to you in every form of social media before the day is out! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!:D

    Liked by 2 people

  11. ~M says:

    Sign me up for the blanket fort building…. It’s been too long! Lol

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Isabella S. says:

    Happy birthday! Hope it is full of surprises and blanket forts! 😄

    Liked by 2 people

  13. anshurao says:

    Let me know if you figure out about the quarter behind your ear

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Miriam says:

    I love your attitude Paul. Age is all in illusion anyway …. I’m 50 and half the time feel like I’m 25! And when I was 25 I don’t think I knew what I wanted either … and my life’s turned out just fine. 🙂 Happy birthday! Enjoy it all … 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  15. “Halfway to fifty”…….. you really had to say it like that and ruin it for the rest of us, hey? 😛

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Great post. Time does fly faster when you are older. Happy birthdayand have a great day today.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Barb Knowles says:

    First of all, I hope you have the happiest of birthdays. 🍕🍰🍦🍕 💟 And you’re right, aging is an odd thing. I didn’t notice looking older unless I looked at pictures of when I was younger. Then the changes starting creeping up on me. At 25, I felt like I had just been a teenager, but looked at high school pictures and thought wow I looked so young then. Until the major moment when I glanced at the mirror as I was walking by and saw my mother looking back at me. That was startling.
    As to moments in life, I’ve made many decisions that were not good ones and that make me cringe. And yet here I am, 63 years old with a great teaching job that I love and gives me a good salary (benefits of working in the NYC suburbs). I have had four children whom I love and are making their share of good and bad decisions. And I have 3 grandchildren adore.
    I also feel that while we have free will and can do or say things that don’t feel right in our gut, God does have a plan for us that, if we saw into the future, we’d be shocked.
    Happy birthday, my blogging son and friend. I wish for you a year filled with blessings, peace, fun and pizza.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      I feel the same, the part about feeling like I was just a teenager. But my high school pictures say otherwise.
      I think everyone in life goes through hard times at some point and for everyone it’s something different and it lasts for a certain length of time. That’s what I tell myself, anyway.
      If I went back 10 years and was told how 15-25 would play out, I wouldn’t believe any of it. And that’s all God’s doing, in my opinion.
      Thank you Barb! My birthday on Friday was great. So glad we found each other in this crazy blogging world.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Great post. I am 50 and I feel like my life just began 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  19. Ariel Lynn says:

    First, of course, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

    Second, idk if I believe that people younger than you really know what they want, know what they’re doing, & are further ahead in life than you are. They only think the two former, & do things that get them into situations that may not lead to being 70, sitting on the porch with their significant others, watching the sunset. So, where they are doesn’t really apply if they don’t get where you wanna be.

    Liked by 2 people

  20. dishism says:

    Lovely post. Happy birthday!

    Liked by 2 people

  21. Little Rants says:

    You have to write a book! Such a nice post. 😁

    Liked by 2 people

  22. ddr_74 says:

    Blanket forts ROCK! Yes please! I think everyone feels the same way. I will be 42 in less than two weeks. Wtf? 42? I don’t look it or feel it, can that be right? Yet here I am, with a 16 year old and a 10 year old, heading towards 19 years of marriage. I’m with you, I can’t figure out how it all happened! Happy birthday though! Btw, you don’t have to have it all figured out! I still don’t!

    Liked by 2 people

  23. peckapalooza says:

    I’m a couple days late, but happy birthday!

    Liked by 2 people

  24. I can’t believe I missed your birthday. My telepathy really sucked this week because of school😭 But I hope you had a good birthday Paul, I wish you all the happiness this year. P.S- Blanket fort sounds good to me!

    Liked by 1 person

  25. rebecak says:

    I truly love this post and hope that one day our paths cross and I get to have a face to face conversation with you. You’re an amazing writer and from the looks of it, an amazing person too! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  26. Talula Teabag says:

    I’m 31 and I still think back to when I was 21, so you’re good 🙂
    I could relate to so much you’ve written. Thank you for putting it down so well. Happy B’day.

    Liked by 1 person

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