WrestleMania 34

Write about what you like, right?

A couple of years ago, I wrote about my love of professional wrestling, which you can read HERE, if you want.

I know that most of my readers won’t care about this, but that’s the beauty of blogging. You can learn about things you know nothing about and all you have to do is read.

Going forward, I hope to write about wrestling more often. I’ll do my best to explain things as I go, so everyone knows what I’m talking about. I took a course about wrestling in university, so I’m qualified.

If you’d like to explore the world of professional wrestling via the lens called my brain, I invite you in with opens arms. If you’ve already closed this window and are scrolling down your Reader looking for anything else, I hope your dinner falls on the floor tonight.

Sorry, that was too harsh. How about just dropping your fork on the floor, so you have to get up and get a new one? Nah, let’s stick with the whole dinner. They aren’t reading this anyway.

Last night, World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) held WrestleMania 34, which was held at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome in New Orleans. The show was over seven hours long.

I think the easiest way for me to comment on it is to go match by match, in no particular order.

Brock Lesnar (c) vs. Roman Reigns (WWE Universal Championship)

We’ve known for a year that this match was coming. Not because the WWE announced it a year ago, but because it was obvious. Also because wrestling fans read the internet to quench our desire for inside information.

WWE has been trying to turn Reigns into the next big babyface (good guy) of the company for many years now. It hasn’t been working because the fans don’t like him. They will boo him out of the building, and they have.

Meanwhile, Brock Lesnar only shows up a few times a year. This could be its own blog post. It’s no wonder the WWE has been struggling to make new stars, when their champion is a part-timer who only shows up for big shows.

Anyway, Lesnar was apparently going back to the UFC and his WWE contract expired yesterday. (It was announced today that he was re-signed. Hopefully not for long, I can’t deal with this anymore). So everyone expected Reigns to win.

Roman Reigns didn’t win.

Lesnar has had the championship since WrestleMania 33 and I’m tired of it. Just move on to someone else. Give it to someone who’s there every week. Give it to someone who needs it.

Kurt Angle & Ronda Rousey vs. Triple H & Stephanie McMahon

I am all aboard the Ronda Rousey hype train. I don’t think anyone was expecting much from her last night in her first match. Dare I say she looked incredible in the ring? Couldn’t even tell she’d never had a match before.

I could see her and Charlotte Flair in the main event of WrestleMania as early as next year.

Braun Strowman & Mystery Partner vs. Sheamus & Cesaro (c) (RAW Tag Team Championship)

I’ve never really been a fan of Sheamus and Cesaro, as a tag team, or on their own.

Braun Strowman has been busy flipping ambulances on their side for the past year, as he’s been built up as a monster. The fans like him. I like him. He’s subtly hilarious.

Alright, so the whole thing around this match was that Strowman needed a partner. Wrestling fans expected the partner to be a big name returning.

Nope.

Strowman scanned the crowd, picked out a shy 10-year-old boy named Nicholas, and brought him into the ring. Strowman went on to win the match on his own, thus making Nicholas one half of the RAW Tag Team Champions.

Normally, I’d be all for a story like this, but I found the whole thing to be extremely hokey.

Apparently, Nicholas is the son of one of the WWE referees. How long could this storyline possibly last? Never mind the fact that the kid can’t wrestle, he has school.

HE HAS SCHOOL.

Part of me is hoping the Authors of Pain (a monstrous tag team) get called up from NXT (the minor league of WWE) tonight and win the championships from them. Unless the WWE plans to have a different kid in each city step up and be Strowman’s partner…

I hope not.

AJ Styles (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura (WWE Championship)

This was supposed to be a dream match, but by all accounts, it didn’t live up to the hype. I figured it wouldn’t. These two would’ve needed about 40 minutes to have a legendary match. They had 20 minutes.

Styles won the match and afterwards, Nakamura hit Styles with a low blow, officially turning heel (bad guy).

I was happy with that. Nakamura hasn’t done much since coming to the main roster, maybe this will give him a push.

The Undertaker vs. John Cena

The whole build up for this match was Cena coming out on TV every week to challenge The Undertaker, without ever getting a response. So Cena attended WrestleMania as a fan, until he got word from a referee that the match was happening, so he ran like a cartoon character to the back to prepare.

The Undertaker won in just under three minutes, in what was a glorified squash match. A squash match is a match that is one-sided and ends quickly.

Ten years ago, this match would’ve been half an hour and the best match of the night.

Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss (c) (RAW Women’s Championship)

Ah, the good old “former best friends turned rivals” storyline.

Alexa Bliss is a great heel. She’s five feet tall but talks as if she’s eight feet tall. I’m a fan.

Nia Jax deservedly won her first championship last night and at this point, she will probably hold onto it for most of the year, while spreading her “Not like most girls” message to the youth.

Daniel Bryan & Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn

Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon are the General Manager and Commissioner, respectively, of SmackDown Live. Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn are two best friends that don’t like authority and beat up their bosses.

Owens and Zayn were then fired.

But wait, after three years of retirement due to concussion issues, Daniel Bryan was finally cleared by WWE doctors to wrestle again! Every wrestling fan was/is thrilled about this.

So when that happened, this match was made. If Owens and Zayn won, they would be reinstated. If they lost, they’d stay fired.

Owens and Zayn lost, which means they are “fired”. Which really means, they’ll end up on Monday Night RAW in the coming weeks.

I’m okay if Shane McMahon never wrestles again. He’s more of a stunt man. But now that he’s older, it just doesn’t work. His match against Kurt Angle from King of the Ring 2001 will always be a favourite of mine to watch on YouTube, as are the rest of his stunts, but it’s time to call it quits on the wrestling, Shane.

As for Owens and Zayn, I just want them to get a championship and keep it forever. They’re great.

The Bludgeon Brothers vs. The Usos (c) vs. The New Day (SmackDown Tag Team Championship) 

It still baffles me how in the PG era of WWE, a tag team can be called “The Bludgeon Brothers” and walk to the ring with mallets.

But anyway, that’s wrestling!

I think The Usos have been in the WWE for nine years and this is the first time they were on the main card at WrestleMania. It’s long overdue. They’ve been really, really good the last couple of years.

The New Day are a comedic trio, who love unicorns and pancakes. Again, that’s wrestling!

I’d love to see The New Day split up, or at the very least, let Big E go after a championship that he doesn’t need a partner for.

Oh, The Bludgeon Brothers won.

Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton (c) vs. Bobby Roode vs. Rusev (United States Champion)

Let me put this into context. Jinder Mahal is the worst team in any professional sports league, but ends up winning the championship. That’s him. That’s what he was, at least.

Last year, they made him WWE Champion after years and years of him not doing anything except losing matches, and not even in an entertaining way.

The idea was that his title run would help the WWE expand into India.

No one took him seriously as WWE Champion and we had to endure many months of it until he finally lost the title.

But at WrestleMania, he won the United States Championship. I don’t think anyone saw this coming. The guy with all the momentum was Rusev, who has proclaimed that every day is Rusev Day. The crowd was begging for it. Nope. Another Mahal title run.

I don’t even know if people dislike him because he’s a really good heel, or if we just want him to go away. Probably the latter, which isn’t good.

You can’t hinder, Jinder.

Charlotte Flair vs. Asuka (SmackDown Women’s Championship)

Asuka hasn’t lost a match since coming over to the WWE from Japan, which is over two years. That includes her time in NXT. Asuka won the first ever women’s Royal Rumble which gave her the right to choose between Charlotte Flair or Alexa Bliss for a championship match at WrestleMania.

She chose Charlotte – the daughter of Ric Flair.

No one saw it coming, but Charlotte won. She beat the streak! After all that buildup! Asuka didn’t even get a championship out of it.

For context: Four years ago, WrestleMania was held in the same stadium in New Orleans. The Undertaker had been undefeated at WrestleMania, going 21-0, until that year when Brock Lesnar beat him and broke the streak.

Everyone was stunned.

So I guess it makes sense that Charlotte won. She is the best female wrestler in the world and New Orleans is the place where streaks die.

But man, now what does Asuka do?

Seth Rollins vs. The Miz (c) vs. Finn Balor (Intercontinental Championship)

All three of these guys should be fighting for the Universal Championship, but Lesnar has that thing on lockdown, so they’re forced to battle it out for a secondary championship.

The Miz is great. He’s been a heel for his entire WWE career because he just has a face that’s easy to dislike. Lately, he’s been a bit more likeable, and he just became a Dad about 10 days ago, so everything is sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows with him.

Seth Rollins won this match. He’s been stealing the show lately and, in my mind, should always have a championship belt around his waist.

Finn Balor needs something. He just needs something.

Well, those are my thoughts. This post could’ve gone on for about 5000 words, but I would’ve lost myself, let alone all of you.

If you read this until the very end, I appreciate you. I hope to write about wrestling more often, even if it’s just prediction posts for upcoming events.

Thanks for reading, I hope you learned something new!

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About Paul

I think of my blog as an all-you-can-read buffet. There's something for everyone and complimentary mints at the door as you leave.
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22 Responses to WrestleMania 34

  1. So I read up until you started describing the matches, I hope that disqualifies me from the dropping dinner curse. The fork I can handle for not reading the whole thing. But I have already eaten dinner so maybe that works in my favour?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sarah Warsi says:

    You might find this surprising but I used to be a huge wrestling fan myself! Back in the WWF days (I refuse to address them as WWE) lol I say “used to” because honestly, I haven’t regularly watched in at least 15 years. When things just started to change, with the old favourites either leaving or passing away, it just lost its oomph for me. BUT, when I was a fan, I was hardcore – especially throughout the ’90s and early 2000s. I’ve been to a handful of live events including the un-televised house shows they used to have at Maple Leaf Gardens, to the first ever Monday Night RAW at the Air Canada Centre and Wrestlemania in 2002 at the Skydome. I took my younger brother to that and I still remember how cold it was that day and they took forever to open the doors! lol Everyone was so pissed that they started chanting “Skydome Sucks!” lol Eventually we were let in just in time for the live show but ended up missing most of Sunday Night Heat (the show they used to air before the main event Regardless, it was one heck of an experience being there live.

    I think for me, my interest overall in watching regular started to dwindle around the time that Owen Hart passed away, That was definitelt a turning point in the WWF at the time and I felt that things were truly never the same. But I have fond memories of the good old days and would never turn down the opportunity to watch an old PPV. I used to order them by renting the cable box back in those days! haha I remember getting so excited for Summerslam and Royal Rumble. ahhhh the essence of being young and naive. lol Mind you, even after I found out wrestling was all fabricated, my love for watching never disappeared. I truly loved the entertainment behind it. My top five I would say were probably, in no particular order: Shawn Michaels, Steve Austin, Undertaker, Legion of Doom, and Bret Hart.

    So while your post was about wrestlemania in 2018, I have no comment to make at all because I honestly don’t know any of the wrestlers now! lol but 7 hours!?!?! that’s nuts!! =)

    Liked by 3 people

    • Paul says:

      Sarah, this is one of the best comments I’ve ever gotten!

      Somehow I knew you used to be a wrestling fan, I think you mentioned it in a tweet once lol.
      I’m jealous that you were a fan during that era, I didn’t get into it until around 2004. Before that, my grandfather would come over and tell stories in broken english about what was happening in wrestling but I never paid much attention to any of it. I regularly go on YouTube to watch wrestling from the late 90s and it’s so much better. The crowd is way more into it.

      I’m also jealous you’ve been to all those shows in Toronto, especially WrestleMania! I remember seeing a picture of The Rock and Hulk Hogan in the newspaper the day after and it looked so cool.

      Sunday Night Heat! What a throwback! I’d always watch that and see it lead into the Pay-Per-View, but I didn’t fully understand what a PPV was back than so I always wondered why I never got to see any on regular TV.

      I remember when I first read about the Owen Hart tragedy and how scary the whole thing must’ve been. The referee in the ring at the time was a guy named Jimmy Korderas and whenever he talks about it he gets emotional and mentions that Owen was screaming at him to move so he wouldn’t hit him. Jimmy was at guest speaker in my wrestling class in university and I got to shake his hand and tell him I was a fan of his show on Sportsnet where he talks about WWE. That felt good.

      Anyway, thanks for this comment! I loved everything about it!

      Liked by 2 people

      • Sarah Warsi says:

        You’re so welcome! Yes nothing quite beats the glory days of wrestling. It’s a part of my youth that I will forever cherish. And yes I had heard about that too – regarding the referee for Owen’s match. It’s so nice that you got to meet him, I’m sure that was quite a moment. Maybe you can get me up to speed on what the heck is happening now. lol who is the champion? hehe

        Liked by 1 person

      • Paul says:

        Well, there are two main champions lol. One for RAW and one for SmackDown. Brock Lesnar and AJ Styles are the current champions. Brock fights 5 times a year so that championship has become irrelevant. The shows these days lack any real animosity. I guess in a twisted way that’s why i still watch – to see if things will eventually change.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Sarah Warsi says:

        haha I know what you mean. I am the same way with my soap operas. No matter how bad the storylines get, I’ll never stop watching because of the hope that it will get better. lol I do remember that when I went to Wrestlemania that time, there was conflict between Hogan and the Rock, and in the US, everyone was against Hogan and in support of the Rock but apparently Canadians felt differently and kept changing ‘Hogan!’ Hogan!’ before the main event and completely booed the Rock, making it obvious that Canadian fans didn’t give a hoot about storylines and who was the ‘heel’ – it was an epic moment for sure! =D

        Liked by 1 person

    • leye555 says:

      This is just me. Although mine is like the past 10 yrs. But I can relate perfectly.

      Like

    • Dutch Lion says:

      I agree with Paul that this was a fantastic post. I’m older than you guys and loved WWF when I was 10-15 years old, which was 1985-1990. Dude, I’m all about the colorful characters of Macho Man Randy Savage, Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior, Andre The Giant, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, Ravishing Rick Rude, Jake “The Snake” Roberts, Shawn Michaels, and Ric Flair. “Woooooooo!”. Those were the good old days.

      I can’t seem to get into the modern stuff but I try. I swear I do. It’s just that all the guys are pretty much the same (outside of John Cena who is a throwback). The modern guys are all so dark. They all wear black and try to scare everybody. Back in the 80s you had some heels do that, but otherwise the guys were colorful. They wore yellow capes, pink boots, aqua green shorts, etc. And their interviews were incredible! Go watch some of this stuff on Youtube. You’ll be floored! They were funny and entertaining. Plus, their high flying antics in the ring were truly astounding.

      Do yourself a favor and watch some late 80s Saturday Night’s Main Events with Hogan, Savage, Ultimate Warrior, and Andre the Giant. I doubt you’ll be disappointed.

      Thanks for telling us about Wrestlemania 34 since I couldn’t watch it. I was really interested in Rousey and Stephanie McMahon. I did watch a 1 hour prematch show on USA Network but it wasn’t that great.

      You know who I would be really interested in seeing join WWE? Shaq O’Neal. Since he’s so huge and funny, I think he’d create tremendous interest. They need to get him involved more than the occasional two minutes like at last year’s Wrestlemania.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Paul says:

        You make a good point about all the wrestlers wearing dark colours and trying to be scary. It’s like everyone is trying too hard to be taken seriously that they’ve all become a parody of each other. A lot of them do the same moves too, which gets tiring when the commentators calls the same move in ever match.

        There were so many great characters 20-30 years ago. Now, everyone just feels like a person that puts a little emphasis in their sentences every now and then.

        I think Shaq was supposed to face The Big Show at WrestleMania last year or the year before but he chickened out at the last minute.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Dutch Lion says:

        The WWE definitely needs some new talent and new ideas. They need to find a new “Andre the Giant” type who is an 8th wonder of the world type body. I think that would be interesting. Plus, they need flash and high flyers. Most of all, they need actors who have trained under the old style which was more dramatic. And they are allowed to make fun of themselves. Nobody seems to get that anymore.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. nickc324 says:

    Great post! I enjoyed this a lot. I agree about write about what interests you, and I was interested in Wrestlemania last night, too. I am with you all aboard the Rhonda Rousey hype train, as she was great. I love Owens and Zayn, too, and loved seeing Daniel Bryan wrestling again. I love The Miz, too. He’s funny and smart. Thanks for posting this. I’ll keep reading them as long as you write them.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Thank you, I appreciate it! I’m hoping The Miz turns face soon and that they just let Rousey run through the entire women’s division and hold the title for a year. Exciting times ahead.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Jokerswild says:

    I can see why they let Brock hang on to the belt, I knew Lashley was signing and Samoa Joe was coming back. I was disappointed Askua lost, that was a mistake in my opinion but it makes sense because Charlotte can afford a loss to Carmella when she cashes in her briefcase. Forgive me for saying this, Rousey is not the baddest woman on the planet and I think there are some women in the wwe that can give her trouble including the newly acquired Ember Moon. The tag titles Braun won was funny with the kid, although I thought he’d pair with Elias. Hardy winning the rumble with Wyatt’s help, that won’t last, but I’m happy with Harper and Rowan finally getting belts they deserve. I thought they would leave the title on the Miz or give it to Finn at least. The dream match was good but I didn’t expect Nakamura to go heel. The women’s title match was one of the best, they give it their all. Some matches were actually bathroom breaks and refreshment time but all in all a good show. The shake up will be interesting now that Bryant is a wrestler again!! Yes!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      I think Reigns will eventually win the championship, perhaps at the rematch in Saudi Arabia. I do like that Lashley is back, he’s another legitimate threat. I’m a big fan of Ember Moon! I think you’re right that there are many that could give Rousey a run, but it’ll be interesting how WWE treats her. Will they treat her like a Brock Lesnar in terms of win/loss, or will she just be another woman in the division. Her debut was way more impressive than I expected.

      The Hardy and Wyatt pairing is interesting given it looks like they’ll be the ones to face The Bar for the vacant titles. It’s weird seeing Matt team with someone other than Jeff.

      Thanks for the comment, really appreciate it! The shake up will be fun, as will all the NXT debuts.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Jokerswild says:

        I think Reigns doesn’t have the backing to carry the belt yet and I don’t think he’ll pick it up at that ppv especially with Samoa Joe challenging him now. Lashley is a monster and Moon is awesome, her and Askua had some battles. I’m interested to see Rousey treatment as well.
        Wyatt and Hardy is an odd pairing, I thought they were giving the Revival a push. AOP will be monsters I think in the tag division. And the NXT arrivals are shaking things up, we’ll have to see them in longer matches. Great article.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Chichi says:

    This post made me so happy! I hope that you write more about wrestling. Totally enjoyable and, wow, just please write more?

    Liked by 1 person

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