50 Thoughts XXXVII

1. For some reason, I thought the Friends reunion was going to be a new slate of episodes, featuring all of the celebrities they had announced.

2. What’s a food that sounds good and looks good, but doesn’t live up to expectations when you eat it? For me, it’s the piece of fudge cake I had last week.

3. I imagine that the birds sitting on a fence are the same as Dads sitting on a bench at the mall.

4. The way Naomi Osaka – the #2 ranked tennis player in the world – was treated for deciding to put her mental health first, and refusing to speak to the media at the French Open, was absolutely disgusting.

5. Wikipedia describes Outer Banks as an, “American action-adventure mystery teen drama”, so I guess this means television genres are like pizza toppings now.

6. I almost knocked over the hand sanitizer dispenser at the vaccination clinic; it was teetering.

7. Going forward, every Business teacher will have a slide in their PowerPoint that says, “Is the business pandemic-proof?” The next slide will use the word “pivot”. And then the next slide will be a case study of how businesses navigated the Covid-19 Pandemic.

8. “We hit it off.” – Every TV show ever made

9. Genuinely fascinated by the steeplechase as a track and field event.

9.5 THERE IS A GIANT PUDDLE. AFTER A HURDLE.

10. If you’re over the age of 10, I don’t know what crocs are doing on your feet.

11. Apparently my Italian accent comes out whenever I’m on the phone with my Nonno.

12. I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to start watching The Challenge, but I’ve watched five seasons over the last few months and I’m hooked.

13. If you’re going to waste your time coming up with wild conspiracy theories, at least make them fun like, “Are push-ups a real exercise?”

13.5 Stay tuned for Thought #49 for another fun one.

14. It feels like we go from Friday to Monday a lot faster than we do Monday to Thursday.

15. A few years ago I listened to a CBC podcast called, “Missing & Murdered: Who Killed Alberta Williams?” She was an Indigenous woman living in BC, who was killed and left on the side of “The Highway of Tears”. Sadly, she is one of many who have been found there. Thousands of Indigenous women and girls are still missing.

That’s one of the many things I thought of when I heard that the remains of 215 Indigenous children were found at a former residential school in BC last week.

16. New York Fries should license their french fries to fast-food restaurants that have sub-par french fries.

17. Christmas ornaments are pomegranates in the off-season. You think I’m kidding.

18. Every few years a new hit song called “Dynamite” comes out.

19. Watching television shows On-Demand is a nice concept, until you realize you can’t fast forward or rewind.

20. I love the aerial shots of Formula 1 race tracks.

21. Don’t be surprised if the Edmonton Oilers go after Frederik Andersen in free agency.

22. Remember when someone created a Facebook event called “Friday” and it was for Rebecca Black’s song? What a time.

23. Adults can’t help but tell you they had some errands to run.

24. How many neigh-ture walks do you think horses have been on in the last year? Sorry.

25. As a society, we need to do a better job of talking about how great nectarines are.

26. Horses probably wonder why they can’t have normal names, unless they think humans are the ones with weird names.

27. A bowl of Corn Flakes never disappoints.

28. The first magician who pulled a rabbit out of their hat probably had a lot of explaining to do afterwards. I’m picturing a media circus befitting of the 1800s.

29. Every street has at least one person who is always using power tools in their garage.

30. I find it comical that most restaurants will send you all the components to a salad, so you can put it together yourself. 1) That’s not how this transaction is supposed to work. 2) The rest of the meal is left wondering, “Where’s Paul?”, while I put the salad together.

30.5 OH and when you shake the salad container to mix in the dressing, the lettuce doesn’t even move because it’s so tightly packed.

30.75 Then you have to transfer it to a bowl and remix it. It’s a shambolic process, really.

31. I like how the go-to move for people who scoff at social media is to put the word, “The” in front of the name of each platform. “The TikTok”, “The Facebook”, “The Twitter”.

32. My overwhelming memory of Blockbuster is how nice and air conditioned it always was in the summer.

33. Bagels don’t taste like they did 20 years ago.

34. Not enough things in life are free.

35. Nabisco World and Candystand had so many good online games back in the day.

36. Every closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.

37. 16-year-old Goaltender Taya Currie was drafted by the Sarnia Sting, making her the first female player ever chosen in the Ontario Hockey League draft. I think that’s incredible and wish her all the success.

38. I am on pace to have 24 headaches this year, which is down from last year’s tally of 36.

39. If I were a sports league like: MLS, NLL, CFL, WNBA, etc., I’d be contacting Netflix, or any streaming company, every day trying to get them to commission a documentary series about the teams and players in my league.

39.5 Heck, even MLB should do it. They won’t, but they should.

40. A new season of The Bachelorette begins tonight, which means 87% of the guys will have the same haircut.

41. The Monaco Grand Prix answers the question: What would it be like to race cars in a drive-thru lane for 90 minutes?

42. Some commercials on the radio have been using the same jingle for over 20 years and they’re starting to bug me.

43. Hear me out: An arena/stadium with movie theatre seats, and everyone gets their own arm rests. Also, leg space.

44. I feel like the phrase, “You schmooze, you lose” will go viral some day.

45. Always amazed at how fast synchronized diving analysts know if a dive was good or not.

46. “Chagrin” is an anagram for “A Grinch”, which means we may or may not have a Tom Riddle/Lord Voldemort situation on our hands.

47. The “there are too many people to thank, so I won’t thank anyone” part of an acceptance speech is such a cop-out.

48. I think “Long Division” is long overdue for a rebrand.

49. What if swing sets at the park are actually a tool to subconsciously teach children about supply and demand? Why else would there be so few swings?

50. Things won’t be fully back to normal until you have aisle seats at a baseball game and the person behind you stretches their bare foot all the way into your peripheral vision.

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