Well, this was a movie.
I don’t even know where to begin. I feel like I’m on the Long Answer section of an exam and can’t muster up the energy to answer a question that’s worth 20 marks.
Maybe I’ll just look around for a couple of minutes, pretend like I’m thinking, and then get to it.
All right, here we go.
The Barden Bellas have graduated from university and they hate their lives because finding something that makes you happy, and pays well, is harder than anyone ever told them it would be.
They all reunite and decide to go on a United Service Organizations (USO) tour. They, and three other bands, will be performing on ships and different bases around the world(?) and at the end, one group will be given the opportunity to open for DJ Khaled.
Along the way, Amy’s estranged father enters the picture because Amy has $180 million in an offshore bank account that he wants. He kidnaps the Bellas and holds them on a boat for ransom. Amy sets off a bomb on the boat, the girls escape, and her father is arrested.
Beca is chosen to open for DJ Khaled, not the group. But they join her while she’s performing, so I guess they all won in the end?
Nothing makes sense.
Father Stalker of the Year
The Bellas are staying at a hotel in Spain, when Amy enters her room and sees a stuffed animal on her bed. It’s hers, from when she was a child. She looks out the window and there is her father, walking away.
This is how we are introduced to him.
First off, what kind of shabby hotel room security is that? Second, he just happened to have her stuffed animal on hand with him? Is that the new “keep a photo of your kid in your wallet”?
The only reason he’s back in her life is because he wants access to $180 million.
The whole storyline was baffling because it had nothing to do with singing. It turned a comedic series about an a cappella group into an action movie. I didn’t really care for it.
The “Fat Amy” character kind of outgrew the whole a cappella thing, I think. They could’ve easily made a spin-off movie about her and had no singing in it, and it would’ve been great.
I think that’s why they gave us the father storyline, even though it wasn’t the best.
Always having to connect her hijinks back to the group, limited what her character could do.
Seeing all of them struggle with life after school was probably the most relatable part of the entire trilogy. I wouldn’t have minded if they made the entire movie about it, rather than reuniting, but I guess the whole premise of Pitch Perfect is for this group to perform songs.
I’ll be honest, I don’t get the hype.
All the respect to him for becoming a global name and for preaching positivity, but it never registered with me. Five years ago, all anyone ever said was “Another one” and “Major key” and I’m over here like, “Yeah, okay.”
Again, nothing against him, I just don’t get it. I’m old.
For half the movie, DJ Khaled’s role consisted of him looking at his phone. When he finally got to speak, he tried to break up the Bellas by only picking Beca to open for him. What a villain!
Beca declines the offer because Anna Kendrick wouldn’t hurt a fly, let alone her a cappella group. But then the group talks her into doing it…but then they end up joining her on stage anyway.
I’m sure that broke some sort of contract or, at the very least, was illegal. Can you have audience members perform on stage without signing some sort of form?
Life is all about filling out confusing documents and I didn’t see any in this movie. Very suspicious.
The USO Tour
I’ll be honest, I had no idea what USO stood for until I started writing this post. United States Operaphany was my best guess.
I understand the need to have the Bellas compete for something. I just felt like this was a really weak way to do it.
The standoff between the a cappella group and the three bands who use instruments was quite fun, but that was only one scene.
The singing didn’t seem to be the main focus of the movie at all. It was usurped by Amy’s father being a terrible person.
A Different Route
During the closing credits of Pitch Perfect 2, Bumper auditioned for The Voice.
Instead of the USO tour and competing for the prize of opening for DJ Khaled, why couldn’t they put the Bellas on a competition show? They could’ve created the fictional equivalent to America’s Got Talent, or something.
There would have been so many potential storylines, as a result. Perhaps another act tries to sabotage them. Maybe the judges really hate them, but the fans keep voting for them. Maybe Beca gets offered a record deal, but must exit the show in order to accept it, and that causes a rift (they love rifts).
Personally, that sounds a lot better, but I’m not a Hollywood writer.
So, I’ve completed the trilogy now. I liked the first one the best and the third one the least. You can figure out where the second one slots in.
Honestly, it didn’t really matter what the plot for this movie was because people were going to go see it, regardless. It grossed $185 million worldwide – the second-highest grossing musical comedy of all time, behind Pitch Perfect 2.
It felt like they were dead set on having characters jump away from an explosion in this movie, as to go out with a bang – that scene probably made all the previews – so they crafted a story that lead to just that.
They had such a talented cast and, dare I say, wasted them on a plot that made very little sense. It also wasn’t that interesting. That’s just my opinion.
It’s like professional wrestling. You like the characters involved, but the storyline isn’t doing them any favours, so they’re just trying to do the best with what they’re given.
As I’ve said before, what do I know? Maybe I don’t know what entertainment is.
What are your thoughts on Pitch Perfect 3?