It feels like we’re flying through this season, while still travelling at a snail’s pace. Anyway, let’s get to last night’s episode.
JESSENIA OR MJ
- Matt wants to meet with Jessenia and MJ before the cocktail party to get to the bottom of the bullying situation in the house.
- Matt pulls Jessenia aside to talk. She says everything MJ has done has been with malice.
- “She started it.” – Jessenia
- Time for MJ’s rebuttal. She says she preaches harmony and peace and doesn’t tear others down. Matt says he knows.
- The footage will show that Jessenia is right in this situation, I believe.
- Matt has gone off to ponder his thoughts, while Jessenia and MJ are back arguing on the couch. This resort has more couches than a Sears.
- Matt gives the rose to Jessenia. MJ is going home.
THE ROSE CEREMONY
- The cocktail party was cancelled, thank goodness. Let’s hand out some roses.
- Serena P., from Toronto, gets the first rose.
- Michelle, Pieper, Bri, Chelsea, and Katie receive roses.
- The final rose goes to Serena C.
- Going home are Magi, Ryan, and…Brittany. Oh no, not Brittany!
- They shouldn’t have added more women on Episode 4. That really worked against Brittany and Ryan. Give them all a fair shot from Day 1.
- By my count, 11 women remain.
THE NEXT DAY
- Serena C. sits down with Katie and tells her she’s tired of her time being taken away because of Katie’s antics.
- Katie was expecting an apology, rather than another attack.
- Serena calls Katie an arsonist.
- THEY’RE YELLING.
- Katie says she wasn’t going to sit around and let the mean girls be mean girls, so don’t be mad at her.
- YEAH, KATIE. PREACH.
- I don’t even know what Serena’s gripe is here. Her main complaint is that Katie is the reason why she’s not getting time with Matt??
HEATHER IS HERE
- MEANWHILE, Heather Martin has pulled up outside at the front gate in a white minivan, wanting to talk to Chris Harrison. I believe she was on Colton’s season, a few years ago.
- Heather says that Hannah Brown told her that Matt is the perfect match for her. So, she has to meet Matt before he gets engaged.
- Chris Harrison is standing a mile away from her and says they’re in quarantine, but will talk to some people. He sends her back to her hotel and acts like this wasn’t planned.
ONE-ON-ONE DATE (Pieper)
- They’re walking into a dark forest in the middle of the night. The lights turn on and it’s a carnival.
- There are a lot of rides. I’m trying to wrap my head around how much this must’ve cost, when every other date is like, “Let’s pack Wonder Bread sandwiches and eat on a log.”
- Pieper says this feels like a movie. In that case, stay off the ferris wheel. Have you seen The Notebook? Don’t do it.
- We now get an update from Heather in her hotel room. She says she’s been officially added to the group and is in quarantine right now. This is nuts. Matt is not getting engaged to someone who wasn’t there for the first six weeks.
- Pieper says her family doesn’t communicate love via words, it’s all with actions.
- Pieper says she shows love through small actions, but also wants to say it, though she’s not good at it.
- “Matt, I am falling in love with you.” – Pieper
- Wait, what?
- Pieper receives a rose.
- Another dinner gone untouched. Shame shame.
- They go outside for a private concert by Temecula Road.
GROUP DATE (Bri, Kit, Rachael, Michelle, Jessenia, Serena P., Abigail, Chelsea, and Serena C.)
- Before we get to the date, we check in on Heather in her hotel room, who is balancing a pizza box on her head.
- THEY’RE GOING BOWLING.
- There are also pizza, wings, and nachos on tables. Back in the olden days, this is what was referred to as a “buffet”.
- Seriously though, does no one care about the pandemic anymore?
- Let the gutter balls begin!
- In walks Chris Harrison. Ugh, why does every date need a chaperone?
- He divides them into two teams….but there are nine women. The winning team will spend the evening with Matt, and the rest will walk home in the rain.
- We have the Pink Petals vs. Blue Bombshells, if you care.
- The Pink Petals win, which means Serena P., Michelle, Jessenia, and Chelsea will get to go to the after party.
- The Blue Bombshells are mad they didn’t get any time to talk to Matt. Yeah, this is ridiculous.
- Matt says today wasn’t about finding the world’s best bowler…yet he gives a toast to “being in the winner’s circle”.
- Back at the house, Chris Harrison pops in to drop off a date card, inviting the Blue Bombshells back to the date.
- Good! Abigail was starting to cry and I won’t stand for that!
- Chelsea is less than happy to see the Blue team show up.
- Serena P. tells Matt that she’s falling for him.
- Matt reassures Chelsea by saying that she’s here because he could see himself with her.
- The group date rose goes to Michelle.
ONE-ON-ONE DATE (Katie)
- They’re having a spa day, but Matt’s friend, Tyler (from Hannah Brown’s season), is also there. He’s getting a massage. Matt and Katie will be in the ear of his masseuse, who is an actor, and will be “ruining Tyler’s massage”.
- This is straight out of the Ellen show, circa 2012.
- Katie will excel at this because she has a great sense of humour.
- So, yeah. They pull some pranks on Tyler.
- “Having Katie right beside me, torturing my best friend, is incredible.” – Matt
- This felt like a friend zone date.
- Katie goes 2-for-2 in the “run and jump into Matt’s arms” style of greeting.
- Katie says “playfulness” was something that was missing in her past relationships.
- “I’m here to the end if you want me to be.” – Katie
- Matt gave a blank stare. I don’t feel good about this.
- Matt grabs the rose and…doesn’t give it to her!! Noooooooo.
- He says his relationships with other women in the house has progressed further than theirs.
- Well, yeah. That’s what happens when you don’t give her a one-on-one until Episode 6, and then when you do, it’s to pull a prank.
- Anyway, Katie is great. She stood up to the bullies in the house and was a shining light this season. Maybe she’ll be the next bachelorette.
- Matt tells Abigail that he always looks forward to seeing her.
- Meanwhile, Heather is driving into the resort, ready to crash the party.
- Okay, if he just sent Katie home because his other relationships were further along, there’s no way he gives Heather a rose.
- Heather parks her van right out front and walks in. She has trouble opening the revolving door.
- The other girls have no idea what’s happening, or who she is.
- Rachael pulls off an impeccable Joe Schmo Show impression with a, “What is going on??” No one will get that reference.
- Heather interrupts Matt’s time with Pieper and says, “Hey, can I talk to you for a sec.”
- He knows who she is and is laughing…maniacally?
- Pieper storms out of the room and wants to know what’s going on.
- Serena P. knows that Heather is from Colton’s season and is friends with Hannah Brown. That’s the third time Hannah’s name has been mentioned this episode.
- “What, she’s going to come in and, like, marry him? No.”
- Sweet Serena P. says she will be rageful if Heather gets a rose. I’m sure she’s just kidding.
Oh, that’s it for tonight! See you next week!
Let me know your thoughts on the episode, whether you watched it, or read it.