50 Thoughts XXXIV

1. Sometimes all you need is someone to believe in you.

2. BBM group chats were electric back in 2012. Someone would leave the chat and everyone else would be like, “Wowww, why’d they leave? Invite them back.”

3. “Construction Never Ends” to the tune of “High School Never Ends”.

4. The word “harbinger” is only ever used in one context.

5. Cavan Biggio is turning into my favourite Blue Jay. He plays such an intellectual style of baseball. I appreciate it.

6. You should watch the Sam Roberts – Annoying Eater series on YouTube. His entire diet, his whole life, is centred around the same 5-7 items. In this series, he tries pasta and hamburgers, among other common foods, for the first time.

7. Ever notice how the last person to join a long line always takes a panoramic video/picture of the line? They try and be subtle, but I see them.

7.5 So, if you ever find yourself in a long line, keep your eye on the last person to join. You’ll be entertained.

8. Remember when songs used to fade out at the end, instead of coming to a distinct stop? Made me think the song continued on elsewhere.

9. The sweat stains on the shirts of characters in TV shows are unrealistic.

10. The first time I ever saw Chris Paul play was in the 2004 NCAA Tournament, for Wake Forest. He took over the game and would not let his team lose. He did the same thing last night for Oklahoma City.

11. Friendly reminder that Toy Story 3 was gruesome.

12. The After The Final Rose episode, from Jason Mesnick’s season of The Bachelor, does not feel like it was eleven years ago. One of the craziest episodes in television history.

13. It feels like no one has the same stove, or fridge, as anyone else. As if we all own a unique model.

14. I had a country western standoff with a stray cat a few weeks ago. We circled each other, before going our separate ways.

15. Whenever I see Helio Castroneves in an IndyCar race, I think of the time he was on Live! with Regis and Kelly in 2001 and they set him up on a blind date. I do not know why I remember this.

16. When the person comes out for the second round of Fast Money on Family Feud, they never peak at the board to see what score their family member just put up. They always wait for the host to tell them.

16.5 The first thing I’d do is look at the score.

17. I always pronounce the word, “scarce”, wrong.

18. If it’s not Puro-now, it must be Purolator.

19. I’m not excited about the direction in which technology is headed.

20. The McDonald’s restaurants that were two floors were the best.

21. “Everyone loves Marineland” is a bit presumptive, isn’t it? If you’re not Canadian, you might not understand this one.

22. I miss the days when Formula 1 teams had a spare car, in case one of their drivers crashed. It was always like, “Ooohh he’s in the spare car now, he might struggle a bit.”

23. Took one step down to the basement, saw a bird fly across at the bottom, and turned right back around, as if I was the Abe Simpson GIF.

24. It’s weird watching basketball games from 20 years ago and everyone is taking shots from just in front of the three-point line. It was as if moving back eight inches would put them out of their range.

25. The episode, Snoopy’s Reunion, where Snoopy and his family are adopted one by one from Daisy Hill Puppy Farm, was always sad to watch as a kid, but now I realize how many life lessons were embedded in the story.

25.5 Shoutout to Olaf playing the jug.

26. “It’s time to play some tag!” – J.J. Watt

27. I was bothered by the lack of urgency exhibited by most of the contestants on Floor is Lava. 

28. In a few years, athletes will probably wear contact lenses with cameras in them, to give the viewer at home a brand-new perspective.

29. I need to go to the Olympics one day. Preferably for free.

30. How many people complaining about wearing a mask, also cover their face with a scarf in the winter?

31. It’s adorable that they thought we would have flying cars by now, when we still don’t even have equality.

32. I am so tired of reading PR statements.

33. Is that a raccoon, or a really big cat?

34. What if “Hotdogs” were supposed to be called “Hotlogs”, but someone misread someone’s messy handwriting?

35. A few months ago, I stepped outside and as soon as my first foot touched the ground, I was met with the loudest crack of thunder I’ve ever heard, and a bright light. I thought I stepped on a land mine.

36. Losing weight is not something I anticipated when this pandemic began.

37. Imagine how much money has been made off of whoopee cushion sales.

38. Good Morning Football is a fantastic show, hosted by: Kay Adams, Nate Burleson, Kyle Brandt, and Peter Schrager.

39. It pains me to see how watered down, and stale, Big Brother has become.

40. Did I not make enough pasta, or is the pot just really big?

41. You should listen to this song: Come On Out – The Airborne Toxic Event.

42. I’ve been saying for at least 10 years that sports video games should be like GTA, where you live the life of the player outside the arena. It finally looks like they’re going down that route with NHL 21.

42.5 I haven’t bought a video game in six years.

43. I feel bad for the first-year university students who won’t get to experience it in person this year. And then they’ll show up for second-year, still not knowing anyone, or the campus. That’s rough.

44. Once you view trees as giant pieces of broccoli, you’ll never see them as “just trees” ever again.

45. I am way too excited for Fantasy Football this year.

46. Sports need to be about something more than just money. I think we’re finally seeing that, across the board.

47. I’d like to lead a focus group with the people who would type “c u l8r” instead of typing out the full words.

48. Buffets are going to be obsolete, aren’t they?

49. In Halloween, Michael Myers looks like a plumber who got electrocuted.

50. Life is short, but it takes forever.