6000 Followers: A Blog Distancing Gala

Let me make one thing clear: this is not a party, it is a gala. There is a difference. If I call this a “party”, someone will inevitably make a noise complaint and shut us down. Whereas, if I call it a “gala”, we’ll be regarded as a group of individuals, just laughing and eating hors d’oeuvres served on a toothpick because “I can’t make small talk, I’m busy chewing” is the message we wish to send to most people.

Cheese cube, anyone?

Get it now? Gala – good. Party – not good. Pass it on.

Oh, and wear a mask, but not in a Masquerade Party way because as I said, this isn’t a party, it’s a gala. Also, masquerade parties never end well in TV shows, so let’s avoid that.

We’re in the middle of a pandemic that never ends, it just goes on and on, my friends. So, wear a mask and keep your distance from each other in the comments section.

If you must talk to each other, or me, do so from six feet away, or else.

Maybe we’ll get out some cups and strings and communicate with each other that way. This is a gala, after all.

Alright, is everyone clear on the arbitrary rules I just made up for this fictitious Blog Distancing Gala, celebrating 6000 followers on The Captain’s Speech? Good.

You all know how much you mean to me, I just said it last week in my post commemorating seven years on WordPress. Your support is very much appreciated and it’s because of you that I feel comfortable enough to write blog posts like this, where I know you’re all going to go along with my hokey premise of a gala and not question it.

Welcome to Guilt-Tripping 101.

Seriously though, 6000 is an intimidating number. And I know it’s misleading because 6000 people aren’t reading my blog posts. Not even half. Not even half of half. Not even half of half of half. We’re at 750 for those of you who don’t do math. And not even half of 750 read my blog.

Some blogs that follow me seem “questionable”, and others have been abandoned over the years.

It’s hard to see some bloggers leave their site to the tumbleweeds. At the same time, it’s an opportunity for me to discover new bloggers.

So, 6000 followers may not be representative of my audience today, but I think it represents most of the people who have come through this blog’s turnstile over the last seven years.

Why do any of you follow me? I’d love to know. Five pages, double-spaced. Do tomorrow. (Not a typo).

This blogging milestone is more about you, than it is me. I didn’t follow myself 6000 times. I can’t rig the numbers. All I’m doing is writing. You’re the ones who made the decision to follow me. Blame yourselves for this. My hands are clean.

Basically, This is your Blog Distancing Gala.

And no, I am not just saying that to excuse myself from any responsibility, should someone come shut us down and ask who’s in charge.

Nope, not my plan at all.

What I want this gala to be is, a version of my “Share Your Blog” post that I do at the beginning of each year where I ask you to introduce yourself in the comments and provide a link to your blog.

Do that here, if you may.

Whether you’ve been here for years, or this is your first time, leave a link to your blog. Talk about yourself, make a joke, go on a tangent about something, or vent about the world. Literally, write anything.

This is a gala, after all, not a party.

If you want to be formal and go with the traditional, “Hi, my name is ___ and I blog at ____ where I write about this, that, and the other. Check me out!” Fine.

If you want to be a daredevil and come across as if you’re yelling into a Pringle can because  the pandemic is driving you nuts, please be my guest.

Say anything you want, just leave a link.

I want this to be a gathering of bloggers who are looking to discover new bloggers. My audience is your audience.

And if your audience would like to be a member of my audience, invite them over to this Blog Distancing Gala. There is plenty of space.

Is everyone on-board? In that case, let’s all “Ahoy Matey” and get this boat out to sea.

That was an unintentional nautical pun, which will surely confuse newcomers into thinking “The Captain’s Speech” is about a Captain of a boat. You’d be surprised at how many people have thought that over the years.

Be sure to wear your mask, only interact with others in the comments section if you’re a safe distance apart, and let me know what hors d’ouevre your eating with a toothpick.

Again, thank you for your support and dedication to reading the words I write. You make this place a lot of fun for me.

Before we run out of food, let’s get this thing officially started.

Welcome to the first, and definitely last, Blog Distancing Gala!

Go forth and gala-vant.

About Paul

I think of my blog as an all-you-can-read buffet. There's something for everyone and complimentary mints at the door as you leave.
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63 Responses to 6000 Followers: A Blog Distancing Gala

  1. Garima Rawat says:

    Hey Paul! I recently followed your blog and I don’t consider myself to be the right person to say much but congratulations on hitting this milestone. I am new to blogging and I do read posts. 😛 I really like your humor. 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  2. James says:

    I’m never one to miss a gala, especially if there is food. I know it’s not real but I’ve used it as an excuse to eat party food while sitting on my own in a room. Ok, so I already had the food and I was going to eat it anyway but it’s nice to have a spurious reason. Takes the edge off the resulting shame spiral. Anyway congratulations on the fact that a percentage of 6000 people read your blog. I’ve been one of them since 2015, which means I get a badge or something right?

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      “Congratulations on the fact that a percentage of 6000 people read your blog” haha that is perfect! You definitely get a badge, and because you have a badge, you have a reserved spot near the front of the line when the food comes out for Round 2. It’s the least I could do, literally.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Here’s to the 6,000 followers’ gala! What a milestone and I’m glad to be a part of it! Your posts are fab.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Hello! Congrats on hitting 6000!

    As someone who is interested in starting her own blog, yours is a source of inspiration for me to display who I am while still writing about the things that interest me.

    I haven’t published my website yet but do wish me luck!

    All the best! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  5. QP and Eye says:

    Well, look at you go. Congratulations on your gala performance Mon Capitan! I continue to follow your blog because you make me laugh out loud. Your perserverance to educate me about Canadian sporting endeavours is commendable. However, I remain mostly ignorant but you still manage to make the sporting content humourous … they are meant to be humourous aren’t they? I’ve donned my little black dress for this gala event, given the tiara a bit of spit and polish. And my toothpick has spiked a gherkin slice, tiny cube of tasty cheddar and a kalamata olive. Keep up the great writing. Linda from <a href="https://queasypeasy.wordpress.com&quot;

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      You came prepared for a full night of Gala-ing! Thank you! I came to the realization early on in this blog’s life that no one was really going to care about my sports posts, but just in case people read them, I wanted to make them enjoyable, educational, and a bit funny if I could. Because I think we all just want to be entertained by words, even if we don’t fully understand what they’re about. So, I thank you for sticking around even during my sports posts. That means a lot.


  6. Congrats!! That’s a huge achievement 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  7. WOW! Such a great achievement, Paul! Congratulations! You definitely deserve it – you are a great writer! So let’s all raise our plastic champagne flutes with apple juice in them (it’s 9am come on people!) in a toast to Paul!!

    Liked by 5 people

  8. Ann Coleman says:

    Congratulations on 6,000 followers! That is an accomplishment and more than enough reason for a gala. Glad to be a part of it!!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. So happy for you friend! I’ve mostly turned to tumbleweeds at https://repurposedgenealogy.com But, the blogging process evolved into my new business of digital marketing and website design. I love what I do now, and am almost done building my Red Lips Marketing website.

    I’ve enjoyed following you over the past few years, Paul, and appreciated the humor you’ve injected into my days.
    You’re my favourite Canadian
    PS I love that you gave me an excuse to use the fancy u spelling.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Paul says:

      You used the fancy “u”! I’m honoured! Thanks for the support over the years, Jen! I’m really happy for you that your blog turned into a business you love. Hope you and the family are well!


  10. You know, I’ve never been to a gala before. This is a first for me haha! 6000 is a lot of followers. Also, other then cheese cubes.. what else you got? Spring rolls? Oooo! Coconut shrimp?? Congrats to you dear friend! ❤️

    Liked by 3 people

    • Paul says:

      Well then welcome to your first gala! Fancy, huh? Hmm not sure about coconut shrimp, but there is shrimp with cocktail sauce. I’ve also seen some large crackers going around with prosciutto on them. I think it’s called fine dining, but I don’t know. There are also little shot glasses with ice cream in them. This gala is basically a glorified kids menu.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. PoojaG says:

    Congratulations on the followers and I’m sure you’ll get 6000 more in no time!

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Belladonna says:

    and scene…. LOL
    This is precisely the reason that I follow you. Nice Gala by the way!

    Liked by 3 people

  13. Belladonna says:

    oh and congratulations (sips wine)

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Dutch Lion says:

    Love you Paul! Thanks for the opportunity to write on your page, thus connecting with “real” people rather than those blog-bots (bot-blogs?). Hey man, Swedish meatballs on a stick for me thank you. My name is Reid and I’m the captain of a site called Dutch Lion Sports. Follow me at http://www.dutchlionsports.com if you aren’t inclined, meaning not on a slope. Get it? Happy Summer to all and to all a good night!

    Congratulations on 6000 followers and seven years of wandering this WordPress desert. Why do you (we) do it? It’s because of the pleasant oases that we commiserate in from time to time. Right?!?


    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      Thanks Reid! Wandering through this desert for seven years has definitely been worth it. Also, those blog bots you mention seem to have been busy lately. I think one of them has liked this post four different times lol

      On a side note, I’ll probably set a fantasy baseball draft date in the next week or so, so be on the lookout for that.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. peckapalooza says:

    I might have eaten the last cheese cube. Sorry… that was rude of me.

    Congrats on 6,000 followers! I’m pretty sure I’m a week or so away from 1,000 and I don’t know how. Like you said, there’s nowhere near that many people actually reading my blog.

    Liked by 5 people

  16. Becky says:

    Paul, you know I hate putting on real clothes but I did just for this gala. I also brought another ice cream cake that says “Congrats on 6,000 followers!” I’ll put it in the freezer before grabbing some pigs in a blanket.

    And a brief introduction of myself, I’m Becky and I blog over at Strikeouts + Sprinkles! https://strikeoutsandsprinkles.com/ I write about running, sports, baseball, what I’ve been reading, and tons of other fun stuff. I’m a big believer in snacks and that all meetings should be emails.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Paul says:

      I go my whole life with 0 ice cream cakes and now I have 2 within a week. If this were real life, I’d probably cut the first piece and the last 0 would come off and someone would joke, “Now it’s only 600 followers”.

      And how did I know you’d be going for the pigs in a blanket haha. Thanks for following the loose rules of this and introducing yourself/sharing your link!

      Liked by 2 people

    • Bill says:

      Pigs in a blanket and ice cream cake? I guess I’m going to be hanging out with you at this gala! (Plus I’m so good at mingling I look for the people I already know, so … sorry. LOL)

      Liked by 2 people

  17. Pingback: 6000 Followers: A Blog Distancing Gala — The Captain’s Speech | Ups and Downs of Family History V2.0

  18. Authoress51 says:

    Okay, I brought the Spinach Dip in the Bread Bowl. Congratulations! I love your blog. My Followers will never reach that high because I delete businesses and suspicious types. Hope you like my purple dress. I got it on a vintage site. My blog? Its called, ‘Finalchapter ‘ but somehow it comes up under my name Authoress51, I think. http://finalchapter.blog

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      Spinach Dip – that a real Gala food. Good choice. Thank you! As I closed in on 6000, I kept deleting all the followers that seemed fishy/businesses because I wanted the 6000th to be somewhat legitimate. There’s a way to edit which name comes up if you wanted to change it from Authoress51. I think you can do it under settings somewhere.


  19. I follow you for your quirky sense of humor and strength of character. Your pieces are flavored by who you are and you have a positive influence that we all appreciate.

    Liked by 2 people

  20. rebbit7 says:

    Congrats on 6000 follows, Paul! Since following you, you’ve been nothing short of dishing out hilarious and poignant posts. You deserve every single follow, and I can’t wait to see what more is in store for you soon. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  21. Issa says:

    Go forth and Gala-vant…. Nice touch 😂

    Man you still make me laugh all thru just like the first time I read your post. Never stops amazing. Congrats on the numbers. Hopefully not all of them like pizza… Wait this gala has pizza right?

    Liked by 2 people

  22. cd says:

    OMG can I say I know someone famous now???

    Congratulations on the 6000 followers, what an amazing achievement!! Also, thank you for hosting a social distancing Gala & giving us an excuse to celebrate during this odd time! You are destined for blog greatness I just know it!
    I believe you were my first follower & the first person I followed when I started this blog journey & I’m glad we connected! Thank you for your friendship, it’s been great to have someone to talk to about F1, the raptors, the bachelor franchise, writing blocks, you name it!

    *Holds up tea cup since its not even 11am for my toast*: Congratulations Paul, here’s to another 6000 more followers!!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Paul says:

      Am I famous?? Blog greatness? Oh man, this better not all go to my head lol

      Now that you write it out, we have quite the random collection of similar interests. Joke about our F1 Canadian hero one minute, discuss a Bachelor spoiler the next haha who does that?

      Thanks for being a friend Cass, I’m glad I found your blog.

      Liked by 1 person

  23. congrats on reaching this amazing milestone.. cheers 🍾🥂

    Liked by 2 people

  24. Pingback: The week gone by — July 5 – A Silly Place

  25. Karla says:

    Congrats Paul! It’s great that this platform has allowed you to share your humor and thoughts. I write about simplicity at http://thrivinginsimplicity.com. I want to help people get to a place of freedom that allows them to do what they really want to. Thanks for visiting and reading my posts !

    Liked by 2 people

  26. Suri says:

    Wow, congratulations Paul!
    I’ve been following you for quite some time now and am happy to see you grow. ☺️☺️

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Sarah Warsi says:

    Congratulations Paul! What a milestone!

    Liked by 1 person

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