Paul Tries: Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup

If you read my previous post, “What The Fork“, you’ll know that on Tuesday night, a fork stabbed me in the finger, as I was putting a bowl in the dishwasher. What I didn’t mention was that less than an hour later, I had a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup for the first time. Or at least half of it.

This is that story.

I have said it many times on this blog – I am not a candy person. Trick-or-treating on Halloween was all about obtaining: Chips, Aeros, Jersey Milks, and Smarties. I couldn’t care less about anything else.

By the way, Canadian Smarties are different than American Smarties. Ours are like bigger, but flatter, M&Ms. American Smarties are what we refer to as Rockets. 

I’ve never had a Kit Kat. Never had an Oh Henry!. Never had a Mars Bar. Never had a Snickers. Never had a (insert name of candy here).

And it’s not like my parents ever said, “You can’t have candy!” or put any restrictions on me. I just wasn’t interested.

Until this past Tuesday night, I’ve never had anything in the Reese’s family. Their Peanut Butter Cups do not appeal to me. I do not like combining chocolate and peanut butter in my mouth. I do not find it enjoyable.

I know that may be a very controversial thing to admit, but so be it. I’m not going to tell myself I enjoy it, just so I can be in the majority.

I know I’m in the minority. I know it is a widely popular treat. I respect its dominance. I just don’t like it.

So, after the fork stabbed me in the finger and I lost some blood, clearly I wasn’t thinking straight when I was presented with the opportunity to try half of a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.

I said yes. I figured, let me finally get this out of the way, so I can confirm what my eyes have been telling me all along.

Maybe my Guardian Angel was behind the fork attack and that was their way of saving me from myself. They tried to take my finger out of commission, so I wouldn’t be able to pick up the chocolate and put it in my mouth.

Sorry, G.A., I missed the sign.

I went into this taste-test completely receptive to the fact that maybe I do like Peanut Butter Cups after all, and I’ve just been a stubborn fool my whole life. I really gave it a shot to impress me.

It did not.

I found it to be really gooey. It felt like my mouth was closing up on me. As if my teeth were being glued together and the back of my throat was being pushed to the front of my mouth.

It was like my tongue was fighting through quicksand and all I wanted was for an emergency sprinkler system to go off, so I could be at ease again.

As you may already know, adulthood is all about describing foods as “too salty” or “too sweet”. In my opinion, the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup I had was way, way, way too sweet.

It was akin to a, “What are you hiding?” level of sweet. Like an overly cheerful child who sells cookies, but is actually a cog in the wheel of their parents’ money laundering scheme.

Yes, I’m ready for Season 3 of Ozark. What of it?

Sugar overload. I could feel it seeping into my teeth, wanting to dig a cavity. Are they going to pay for the filling?

I am sorry if this knocks you out of your bed, but I did not like it.

If there was one positive – and I don’t even know if you can call it a positive – it was that I was surprised by the texture of it.

When I bit into it, I was expecting it to be a bit crunchy. I was expecting the layer of chocolate to put up a bit of a struggle, before allowing my teeth to land on the peanut butter.

Nope!

It was a soft bite. That was unexpected.

Honestly, if you take the peanut butter out, and scale back the amount of sugar, it would be a pretty good chocolate hockey puck. I’d probably like it.

They could call it a cookie. Just an idea.

Peanut butter falls under the same category as bacon and ketchup, to me.

I enjoy them paired with certain foods, but once you pair them with the wrong partner, it’s adios amigo for this cowboy.

I don’t know what I just said. Let’s keep going.

I love peanut butter with crackers, carrots, and on bread. Put it with chocolate, I’ll act like we’ve never met. Put it in the oven, I’ll stick my nose out the window like a dog. Can’t handle the smell of warm peanut butter at all.

But this is just me. If you have the exact opposite opinion, that’s perfectly fine.

I think people are more shocked that I’ve never had an RPBC (it’s such a long name and I’m tired of writing it), than they are that I don’t like it. That amuses me.

As you know, we choose our friends. We choose our Twitter handle. We choose our pizza toppings. However, we do not choose which foods we like – our mouth does, and so do our eyes.

Basically, I’m shifting the blame to my eyes and mouth, if you’re disappointed in me for not liking one of your favourite foods.

The ol’, “Don’t look at me, it was my eyes and mouth” excuse. I hope you fall for it.

So, that was the entirety of my Tuesday night. A fork stabbing (allegedly) and a peanut butter cup.

God, I miss sports so much. Can I have proof they’re still alive? Tell them I love them.

The End.

“Paul Tries” has been an idea I’ve had for a while and I hope it becomes a recurring series on this blog. Send me suggestions for things to “Try”. Preferably not food-related; I already have a good idea of foods I can try.

About Paul

I think of my blog as an all-you-can-read buffet. There's something for everyone and complimentary mints at the door as you leave.
This entry was posted in Food and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to Paul Tries: Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup

  1. Paul tried?!?! YES I suggest yoga. I have followed an amazing instructor and have a VERY easy (like my mom who hasn’t exercised since the 80’s [not really exaggeration here for effect] and pulls her back out every time she twists the wrong way easy) and I think you should try it!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Belladonna says:

    Me too Paul!!!! Okay here is my take on peanut butter cups! use to love them and now not so much just isn’t enough in one bite. So on my greedy days, I like a dark chocolate bar and then spread peanut butter on top. OMG better than any slam dunk….well maybe not that good.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. rebbit7 says:

    Oh, I LOVE Reese’s! Kind of sad you didn’t find it enjoyable, but I can understand why it doesn’t appeal to you! Admittedly, I’ve gotten to like sweets less as I get older, perhaps because my teeth are more sensitive, and overly-sweet foods are just too much on the gums and teeth. Just wait until Easter when they sell the massive Reese’s chocolate bunny– imagine that!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      I wonder if someone’s done a scientific study on if people like sweets less as they grow older. Would be interesting. I also feel like if I ate Reese’s as a kid, I’d probably like it like everyone else. Ohhh I’m just imagining a rush of people at the store, going for the chocolate bunny and taking them back to isolation.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hilary Tan says:

    You never had a Kit Kat or Oh Henry? Have you been living under a rock this whole time?! Or maybe you’re not a candy person? That might explain it! Not to be judgy, but this is the kinda thing I judge. Never had Kit Kat…. 🤦‍♀️ JKJK.

    As for peanut butter cups, they’re alright. I honestly don’t think you missed too much over the years. I prefer the Reese’s pieces peanut butter candies that resemble smarties. A lot of people don’t like them but I think they’re better than the Reese’s peanut butter cups.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Feel free to judge, I won’t be offended! The Kit Kat song never drew me in. And what even is an Oh Henry? And who’s Henry?

      The Reese’s candy looks good (probably because they look like smarties) but I probably won’t be trying them any time soon/ever haha

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hilary Tan says:

        What is the Kit Kat song? Have a break, have a Kit Kat? Or is it have a coffee crisp? Coffee crisps are a Canadian thing and I prefer them over Kit Kats. Whenever I go to the states to visit a friend I bring Nestle chocolate bars for her family.

        Oh Henry’s are nothing special even though lot of people like them. We don’t buy them because my husband is allergic to peanuts.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Paul says:

        “Give a break, give me a break, break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar.” – I think that’s how it goes.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hilary Tan says:

        Yeah, I’m still unfamiliar with their jingle. 😅

        Liked by 1 person

  5. peckapalooza says:

    I don’t like chocolate. I despise peanut butter. Putting them together is like my waking nightmare.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Katherine says:

    Hmm, interesting idea, Paul! I could give it a try, but too bad I am out of peanut butter. Should get ready for grocery soon. 😅

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Pingback: The week gone by — March 29 – A Silly Place

  8. Becky says:

    Of course you had to mention Ozark 😂

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.