Are you bored? Are you unable to participate in your favourite activities? Are you stuck in the house and running out of things to do? Do you want pancakes? If this sounds like you, then you’ve clicked on the right blog.
Hi, I’m Paul. You may remember me from such blog posts as, “The Refrigerator Was Running, But Now It’s Walking” and “How To Teach Your Pet To Win At Bingo”.
But if you don’t remember me from those posts, that’s okay, I haven’t written them…yet. The important thing is that you’re here now, listening to me talk in your head as you read the words I wrote.
They say that home is where the heart is, but for the next few months, home is where you and your family members will be. Fun. Naturally, boredom is bound to set in.
Therefore, I have created a list of things you can do at home when you’re bored. If you are unable to do some of these tasks, for whatever reason, I do not care. This is not about you; this is about everyone. NOW STOP GOING OUTSIDE.
Sorry, natural reflex.
Be sure to read every item on this list. There may be a test later.
1. Watch TV.
2. Watch Netflix.
3. Windex a mirror.
4. Read a book.
5. Clean your room.
6. Do a puzzle.
7. Listen to music.
8. Play a board game.
9. Make pancakes for breakfast.
10. Play with your pet.
11. Take a nap.
12. Read a second book.
13. Play video games.
14. Lay on a carpet.
15. Pretend to be a chicken for ten minutes.
16. Make a paper airplane.
17. Read a book with your eyes closed. Bam, audiobook.
18. Make pancakes for lunch.
19. Think about that embarrassing moment from 13 years ago.
20. Look out the window.
21. Go on Twitter.
23. Use your index finger to swipe at dusty surfaces.
24. Dance, but not near the window.
25. Scroll through Instagram.
26. Refrain from exercising.
27. Make pancakes for dinner.
28. Stare at the ceiling.
29. Write a blog post.
30. Take pictures of random things from weird angles.
31. Make sure your toilet paper hasn’t been stolen.
32. Mention “Social Distancing” in a social media post.
33. Build a blanket fort.
34. Sob (controllably) in the shower.
35. Sing like everyone can hear you (under your breath).
36. Windex another mirror.
37. Send your friends a text that says, “There’s hot glue in your shoe.”
38. Open the fridge every 11 minutes.
39. Refill the salt shaker.
40. Spin around in your desk chair.
41. Play “Simon Says”, by yourself.
42. Work on your maniacal laugh.
43. Create your own language.
44. Count your fingers and toes.
45. Slam a book shut as loud as you can.
46. Ask the people in your house if they’ve seen your wallet.
47. Create a mystery dinner around the “who stole your wallet” premise.
48. Say, “It was YOU, wasn’t it?” to someone.
49. Repeat #48 until you get a false confession.
50. Windex another mirror.
51. Start a new show on Netflix that isn’t on your List.
52. Share a video to your Instagram Story that no one cares about.
53. Channel your inner water buffalo.
54. Put your socks on the opposite foot every two hours.
55. Examine your chimney for any post-Christmas damage.
56. Discover an assorted nuts collection under your couch.
57. Run up the stairs – once. Call it exercise.
58. Create your own catchphrase using alliteration.
59. Catch your breath.
60. Be a bird.
61. Scream into a pot.
62. Count your fingers and toes, again.
63. Rock, Paper, Scissors against yourself. Left Hand vs. Right Hand.
64. Draw a picture of your ideal food court.
65. Wear your sunglasses at night.
66. Roll over in your sleep.
67. Time how long it takes your toilet to flush.
68. Look in the mailbox.
69. Bypass the end slice of a loaf of bread.
70. Say the alphabet backwards in less than 6 seconds.
71. Get mad at yourself for touching your face.
72. Rearrange the letters in your name to spell something.
73. Look at the calendar to see how long eight weeks is.
74. Suppress the feelings that arise when you find an old picture.
75. Think about not thinking.
76. Look up how to do long division.
77. Turn the volume up and then lower it.
78. Yell into the washing machine.
79. Call a telemarketer.
80. Wash your hands.
81. Put your left hand in.
82. Take your left hand out.
83. Walk backwards and beep like a truck.
84. When someone is walking by, knock at the window and run away.
85. Defy gravity.
86. Raise your hand to speak.
87. Sing a song, but every word is “Moo”.
88. Open a window and breathe in.
89. Pretend the floor is hot lava.
90. Start a one word story in a group chat.
91. Squeeze the dish soap bottle so bubbles come out.
92. Hide in a closet.
93. Unfollow someone on Twitter.
94. Rest a pen on your ear.
95. Start a social media challenge called #GlassOrMug.
96. Share a photo of a glass or mug. Challenge others.
97. See if your peers decide to share a glass or mug.
98. Roll a dice until it lands on the same number, ten times in a row.
99. Turn off the TV, by accident.
100. Look at yourself in the mirror.
101. Go back to sleep.
That should keep you busy!
Did I miss anything? Which of this tasks will you do?