Welcome to Part 2 of The Bachelor Finale. This episode is absolutely insane. It has everything you can think of, as well as everything you could never even imagine. I’ve never seen two hours of television quite like this.
In Part 1, Madison sent herself home. That left only Hannah Ann in the running to be America’s next top model (because she is a model) and Peter’s fiancé.
We also found out that Peter’s mom, Barb, really likes Hannah Ann and can’t stand Madison, even though Madison is a fan favourite.
~ Chris Harrison welcomes us inside a studio and tells us no one knows what’s going to happen tonight.
~ Is this Election Night or The Bachelor Finale?
~ For the final time this season, it’s time to play the world’s fastest growing game show, Spot The Men In The Audience!
SPOT THE MEN IN THE AUDIENCE – EP. 3
~ I see one, two, three men. Do I see four? Do I see four? Why don’t I see four? I see four! The fourth man in the audience is Neil Lane with a briefcase. What is this, Deal or no Deal? I see five! The fifth man is Peter’s Dad.
~ Our final tally is five, thanks for playing.
~ Why is Kelley in the audience? Is she a red herring? SHE’S WEARING RED.
BACK TO AUSTRALIA
~ Peter is wandering around empty fields, contemplating what he’s gotten himself into.
~ Neil Lane has shown up at his hotel room, so he can pick out a ring that he may or may not give to Hannah Ann.
~ Peter is FaceTiming Hannah Ann’s Dad, asking for his permission to marry her. He grants it.
~ Meanwhile, Hannah Ann is staring off her balcony, thinking about how Peter might not pick her.
FINAL ROSE CEREMONY?
~ Peter is set up in the middle of the wilderness, when all of a sudden, here comes Chris Harrison!
~ Chris: “There’s just something I found out about Hannah Ann. To be honest, I’m not positive that she’s coming.”
~ OH HOT DOG, WHAT IS GOING ON?
~ And then there were none. Dun dun dun.
~ Peter: “Does she know Madison’s not here?”
~ SHE DOESN’T BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T TELL HER.
~ Peter goes to lay down on a bed, which is what we’ve seen in previews all season.
~ We’re seeing footage of Hannah Ann being transported by car, down an empty dirt road.
~ Chris Harrison informs Peter that she is on her way.
FINAL ROSE CEREMONY, TAKE 2
~ “Hi, Chris Harrison.” – Hannah Ann
~ Now she begins her journey down 14,503 steps to get to Peter.
~ She looks sad.
~ “A little bit of a hike to get here.”
~ Yeah, they dropped her off somewhere in New Zealand it felt like.
~ Peter begins his speech about their journey and says he has to follow his heart.
~ HE FINALLY TOLD HER THAT MADISON LEFT TWO DAYS AGO.
~ Now he’s complimenting her a lot and says his heart chooses her forever. Wait, what?
~ My heart is telling me something else.
~ Here comes the ring, all dressed in bling.
~ Peter proposes and Hannah Ann says yes.
~ Something isn’t right about this. There is still an hour and forty minutes left.
~ I SMELL A SWERVE.
BACK IN LOS ANGELES
~ Peter is going to see his family to tell them he’s engaged.
~ Barb is crying her eyes out, telling him they missed him. Did they not take the same flight home from Australia?
~ His parents look so scared that he’s going to say he’s engaged to Madison.
~ “WHO IS IT?” – Barb
~ “I asked Hannah Ann to marry me.” – Peter
~ “AHHHHHHHHHH” – Barb, crying uncontrollably
~ “We love her so much! We love her! We love her!” – Barb
~ AH, it all makes sense now!
~ At the beginning of the season, I referred to Hannah Ann as “Han Han Han Han Hannah Ann”, which was a play on the lyrics from The Beach Boys song that went, “Ba Ba Ba Ba Barbara Ann.”
~ It was right there in front of us this whole time. If only the rest of the world read my blog, so they’d be aware of how my wit cracked the case before there even was a case.
~ They’re FaceTiming Hannah Ann now.
BACK IN STUDIO
~ Out comes Peter to talk to Chris Harrison. I can skip this part, right?
~ Hannah Ann is watching on a monitor backstage, like she’s a wrestler scouting an opponent.
BACK TO LA, HANNAH ANN VISITS PETER
~ WE HAVE A BARB CAM IN THE BOTTOM LEFT CORNER OF THE SCREEN.
~ We need an entire channel devoted to Barb’s reactions to this episode, honestly.
~ This is the greatest TV innovation since the first down line was introduced on football broadcasts by ESPN, which is under the same Disney umbrella as ABC.
~ It’s been one month since they’ve seen each other.
~ Hannah Ann and Peter sit on the couch together and I’m not understanding anything they’re saying, but it doesn’t seem good.
~ OR ENUNCIATE.
~ Peter says he badly wants to give her everything, but he can’t do that. “I’m so sorry.”
~ Somehow, they’ve already grown apart, but we don’t really know why.
~ Is this what happens when you propose to someone because they’re the only option, rather than your first option? Allegedly. Only Peter knows what Peter knows.
~ Peter says he is torn and conflicted. Does this mean Madison reached out to him?
~ “You took away from me my first engagement.” – Hannah Ann
~ Hannah Ann asks if he’s sorry for not being true to his words. He says yes and that he never envisioned being in this situation.
~ Hannah Ann seems more upset that he took her engagement “moment” away from her, than she is about their relationship ending.
~ Is it because she can’t post engagement photos on social media now?
~ I really wish they’d answer my questions.
~ “You’ve done enough damage.” – Hannah Ann
~ She gave him his ring back, said some dramatic final words, and left.
~ BARB IS CLAPPING ON THE BARB CAM! THIS IS SO WEIRD.
~ As a parent, teacher, or protector of children in any official capacity, your role is to support your kids no matter what. You don’t get to cheer for the other team from your own bench.
BACK IN STUDIO
~ Peter looks like he got run over by a Fisher Price lawn mower.
~ He says it was his feelings for Madison that caused him to be conflicted. Barb is shaking her head!
HANNAH ANN COMES OUT TO TALK TO PETER
~ She says she was blindsided that Peter told her he couldn’t give her his whole heart.
~ Barb is applauding everything Hannah Ann is saying. Oh man.
~ She’s going to adopt Hannah Ann at this rate.
~ Peter swears to God he would’ve never proposed to her if he didn’t feel that love in his heart.
~ Hannah Ann says he should’ve told her the extent of the final week in Australia, rather than just springing the whole “Madison is gone” thing on her two seconds before proposing.
~ He had two days to tell her and didn’t.
~ Fair point by Hannah Ann.
~ Personally, I think he decided not to tell her in advance because he didn’t want her having two days to think about what it means to be chosen by default. Additionally, if he decided not to propose to her, he probably didn’t want her to know that he sent home the only girl who stayed until the end, which would make her think he strung her along the whole time.
~ So I can understand why he didn’t tell her ahead of time and I can also understand why she deserved to know, too.
~ Sometimes the coin lands on its side.
~ Hannah Ann came to play tonight. She hasn’t been this articulate all season.
~ Hannah Ann says she should’ve picked up on the first red flag when Peter said he wanted to reach out to Hannah Brown for closure.
~ WAIT, WHAT?
~ “So, word of advice, if you want to be with a woman, you need to become a real man.”
~ BOOM. OVEN ROASTED.
~ BARB IS CLAPPING. I CAN’T WITH HER.
~ Hannah Ann exits, stage left.
AFTER HANNAH ANN LEAVES
~ Chris says Peter doesn’t know this, but he went to Auburn, Alabama. Roll the footage!
~ Chris is sitting down with Madison.
~ Is this a parent swap? Is Chris turning into Peter’s Dad? We already know that Peter’s mom has basically jumped ship to Hannah Ann.
~ Madison regrets what she did and asks what happened after she left.
~ “He got engaged.” – Chris
~ Madison doesn’t look happy about it.
~ “Peter doesn’t know I’m here. He gave me news – Peter is single. He ended his engagement.” – Chris
~ “Is he okay?” – Madison
~ AND THOSE THREE WORDS ARE EXACTLY WHY PETER SHOULD’VE SENT EVERYONE ELSE HOME AT FINAL 3 AND PICKED MADISON.
~ “Are you in love with Peter?” – Chris
~ She says she fell in love with Peter but doesn’t know where his head is at.
~ BARB DOES NOT LOOK HAPPY ON THE BARB CAM.
~ Hannah Ann is also watching this unfold.
~ Madison asks Chris what Peter wants.
~ “I think in his dream, he would be with you.” – Chris
~ CHRIS HARRISON PUTTING IN THE WORK.
~ Madison says she’d take a second chance in a heartbeat.
~ “Guess we’re heading to LA.” – Madison
~ “Go pack a bag.” – Chris
~ SOMEONE GIVE CHRIS A RAISE AND ABOUT 8000 PATS ON THE BACK.
MADISON IS IN LA TO SEE PETER
~ Peter is standing by a backyard pool, as she walks up behind him. He looks stunned. She wants to talk.
BACK IN STUDIO WITH CHRIS AND PETER
~ Peter was expecting Chris to show up that day, but Madison did, instead.
BACK TO THE FOOTAGE OF MADISON AND PETER TALKING
~ It’s been three months since they’ve seen each other.
~ Madison tells Peter that her feelings for him haven’t gone away.
~ This Barb Cam in the bottom corner is going in the television hall of fame one day.
~ Peter: “I made a million mistakes, but I know I fell in love with you.”
~ He apologizes and asks what they should do, as they hold each other like a couple.
BACK TO THE STUDIO, I’M GETTING WHIPLASH
~ Peter hasn’t seen Madison since that day, but reveals he’s in love with her. Barb doesn’t look pleased.
HERE COMES MADISON
~ Wow, they didn’t even wait until after a commercial to do this.
~ Peter calls this a pleasant surprise.
~ Okay, they always have the final two on the final show, this should not be a surprise.
~ Madison says she loves Peter.
~ Chris Harrison asks them how this is going to end.
~ Peter says the smartest way to go with this is take it one day at a time because they both have a lot of healing to do.
~ In other words, they want the media storm to die down a bit, before they jump into a relationship.
~ Chris asks Barb how she feels about everything.
~ Barb says last night’s show didn’t show everything. That’s code for, “I know people hate me, but the edit wasn’t fair.”
~ Barb says she went for Hannah Ann because she embraced her with love. The next day, Madison made them wait three hours because she didn’t want to meet them.
~ SHE MET YOU ON THE FIRST EPISODE OF THE SEASON, REMEMBER?
~ “When she did come in, we didn’t get an apology from her.” – Barb
~ Gosh, it must’ve been so hard to be flown to Australia and treated like royalty for a few days.
~ Barb says Madison told her she wasn’t madly in love and would not accept a proposal in four days.
~ Therefore, she endorsed Hannah Ann.
~ This all seems really petty.
~ Madison responds by saying you can’t change the past and that she came into this being unashamed of who she is and undeniably herself.
~ Ohhhh, Madison came to fight. You almost expected her to say, “I’m sorry I gave you that impression” but NOPE. She’s not giving an inch.
~ Madison: “I have love and respect for Peter, therefore I have love and respect for Peter’s family.”
~ SHE IS SO GOOD WITH WORDS.
~ Barb looks perturbed.
~ Peter is asking his parents to trust him.
~ We are now getting a back and forth spat between Madison and Barb.
~ “He’s gonna have to fail to succeed.” – Barb
~ “All his friends, all his family, everyone that knows him knows it’s not going to work.” – Barb
~ OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. SHE DID NOT.
~ Barb just wrecked her son’s face on Live TV.
~ Welcome to the Barb Tell All episode, kids.
~ “I love Madison and that should be enough.” – Peter
~ THIS IS JERRY SPRINGER.
~ Peter’s Dad finally chimes in and says there have been so many obstacles just to get to this point and you don’t start a relationship this way.
~ He says there are so many differences to overcome.
~ THIS IS AN UNMITIGATED DISASTER.
~ God bless Chris Harrison for trying to quickly wrap this up with an optimistic outlook, but it’s too late – the reindeer have left the North Pole and they’re running wild.
OH YEAH, HERE IS THE NEW BACHELORETTE, CLARE CRAWLEY!
~ Clare is such a nice breath of fresh air. She was my favourite on Juan Pablo’s season, which was also an unmitigated disaster.
~ She’s the first person on the show tonight to smile and mean it.
~ I’m expecting her to set a new standard for this show and take a “no nonsense” approach to all the yahoos who think they can get away with creating unnecessary conflict.
~ I’m really looking forward to her season and hope this works for her.
~ THE CREDITS ARE ROLLING AND CLARE AND BARB ARE HUGGING.
~ This is bizarro world. This is The Bachelor.
MY FINAL THOUGHTS
~ The whole season was fumbled the second Hannah Brown showed up on the first night and then, again, on the first date. So unnecessary.
~ The maturity level of the participants was at an all-time low.
~ Peter was confused in every single episode and had no clue what he was doing.
~ Madison is too good for this show and doesn’t need to be associated with it.
~ Peter barely stuck up for Madison while his mother ripped her apart on Live TV, so that’s an issue.
~ Peter’s parents have to learn to let Peter make his own decisions, especially when it comes to deciding who he wants to spend his life with.
~ This show does not survive without Chris Harrison as the host. They should give him a blank cheque after tonight’s proceedings.
~ The decision to send Sarah home in Episode 3 bothered me. I’m still not over it. I will never be over it.
Thank you to everyone who read my Viewing Notes this season. I know they can be lengthy and I know a lot of you don’t care, but to the ones who do care, I really appreciate your support! See you soon.
Tell me all of your thoughts on the finale. Go.