Foods I’ve Never Had

Hello, my name is Paul, and welcome to my FED Talk. Please take a seat. Wait, why are you walking out with your chairs? That’s not what I meant! Come back! Sit. Stay. Good humans.

Anyway, this is a judgment-free zone, which means you can judge me for free. There are no hidden fees – don’t bother looking under your chair – so don’t worry.

When it comes to food, I don’t consider myself a picky eater. That being said, I’m not out in the world, trying everything I can put a fork on. I’m calculated.

I tend to eat with my eyes. If my eyes are sending red flags to my stomach, I don’t want it. I guess you can say my hidden talent is knowing how I feel about a food before even tasting it.

If I don’t desire a food, I won’t eat it. I’m not curious to know what everything tastes like.

On an unrelated note, if I walk through a furniture store, I will touch everything. So my curiosity is channeled toward different things, I guess.

Before I get into my list, just know that I’m not a big candy person and I stay away from foods that are really spicy, or have a lot of black pepper. I just can’t handle them. The spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy’s is my spice limit.

Now that I’ve whet your appetite, here are some foods (and drinks) I’ve never had before.

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
Let’s just rip the bandage off, shall we? Most people seem to rave about them. I couldn’t care less about them. Are they aesthetically appealing? Yes. They look like what beavers would use for hockey pucks.

However, I don’t like the combination of peanut butter and chocolate, so eating a peanut butter cup is not something I’m interested in doing.

Skittles
Remember, I’m not a candy person. I shared a picture to my Instagram story and mentioned that I’ve never had Skittles. WELL, might as well have said I no longer love pizza. I received immediate backlash from multiple people. Oh well. I don’t really care to try Skittles.

Chocolate Milk
What is the purpose of chocolate milk? I grew up on white milk and other than water and sometimes juice, that’s mainly what I drink with every meal. Lately, I’ve been asking for white milk at fast-food restaurants (I’ve only had pop once in the last 60 days, or so), and I feel like I’m being judged. Like, “Why aren’t you getting chocolate milk instead?”

Some restaurants don’t even have white milk – they only carry chocolate milk. How does that make sense? That’s like saying a pizza place doesn’t make cheese pizza. It should be the default option.

My goal in life is to sit in on every focus group related to food.

Gum
Does this qualify as food? I’ve never had it. One of my teachers used to hand out gum, but I always turned it down, so she offered me mints. So much better! Some other kids caught on and then they were asking for mints, in addition to gum.

Tacos
Don’t rush the stage all at once, please. Let’s be civil.

I will say this, I might have had a taco back on a Grade 7 overnight trip, but I’m not sure. It was meal time and there were about eight of us at the table. They passed wraps and condiments in bowls (lettuce, meat, cheese) around. Well, the first kid who got them, took as much as he wanted and didn’t care who else was there. I was one of the last people to receive the condiment bowls and there was barely anything left. I’m still bitter about it.

Was that a taco? Or was it a flimsy wrap with condiments? Was it a burrito? Is there even a difference? I really don’t care.

Bottom line: I don’t think I’ve ever looked at a taco and thought, “Wow, I’d like to put that in my mouth!”

Sorry, but not really.

Your Favourite Cereal
Unless your favourite cereal is Corn Flakes, Rice Krispies, or Shreddies, I’ve never had your favourite cereal. As for the three I listed, Corn Flakes are far and away my favourite. Shreddies only taste good on their own, without milk. Rice Krispies have no taste.

Liquorice
Also known as, Twizzlers? There’s just something so unappealing about them. On top of that, I can’t stand the smell. When I was a kid, I went to the movies with some friends and we shared a few bags of popcorn. One kid was eating liquorice too, and then put his hand in the popcorn bag. Before you knew it, all of the popcorn smelled like liquorice.

WHY?

You may be reading this and thinking, “Between this and the taco story, he clearly doesn’t like these foods just because he attaches them to bad experiences.” Maybe. But also maybe not. But maybe.

Nutella
It looks like high-end mud.

Lollipops, Sour Keys, Jaw Breakers, Gummies
Basically any candy you saw a kid in elementary school light up over. I never had any interest in eating any of these items and still don’t.

Poutine
This might be considered a sin in Canada, but so be it. Fries with gravy? I’m with you. Add cheese to the mix? I’m out. What for? Why are we doing this to ourselves?

Life is all about avoiding the need to vomit. Tell me I’m wrong. Eating poutine seems like a one-way ticket to Pukeville.

Beaver Tails
This is another Canadian delicacy that I have never had. Might as well ship me off to America. Please don’t.

Ice Cream Cake
I guess I never attended a birthday party that had ice cream cake. Do I wish to try it? Not really.

Drinks From Starbucks
I’m very simple when it comes to beverages. I don’t care for all the blended options. As far as I’m concerned, they’re a different language.

THE ONE AND DONE CLUB: These are foods that I’ve tried, but don’t like.

Sushi: Didn’t enjoy it. And if you’re even thinking of saying, “Well there are so many different types, maybe you’ll like one of them!” don’t bother.

Ketchup Chips: This is another Canadian thing. I think they’re awful. And yet, Canadians make it sound like a big selling point for living in this country. I like ketchup, but not this.

Vegan Sausage: I tried this about two weeks ago. It was the most foul smell and taste that I’ve ever encountered. The whole house stunk. I was waving my arms like I was fending off a swarm of bees, just to get some air flow.

Hot Chocolate: I burned my tongue on it at the Rest Station during Winter Play Day at school when I was in kindergarten. Haven’t had it since. I didn’t understand the point of it. If being bundled up in a snowsuit and sitting inside a room with heat wasn’t enough to warm me up, then I had bigger problems.

Pickle Popcorn: Was at the mall and the popcorn place had free samples out. I grabbed one without checking the flavour. It was pickle popcorn. I spit it out at the nearest garbage can. I like pickles, but that was awful.

Coffee: I’m not a hot drink person. It could be -20 Celsius outside and I’d still prefer cold water.

Onion Rings: I’ve tried these on more than one occasion, mainly out of necessity. I once ordered fries with my burger at a fast-food place at school. They had run out of fries and asked if I wanted onion rings. I reluctantly said yes, knowing I didn’t like them.

I took one bite out of an onion ring and that taste stayed in my mouth the entire meal. I couldn’t even taste my burger after that. I threw the onion rings out.

Sweet Potato Fries: This is along the same lines as onion rings. They were forced upon me as a substitute for fries at school. I didn’t really know what they were and wondered why the lady was putting carrots on my plate.

Yes, I thought sweet potato fries were carrots, until she handed me my plate.

Alright, let’s end this here. If I haven’t listed a food, you can assume I… A) like it; B) have tried it at least once; C) completely forgot to mention it; D) have never had it; or E) didn’t think it was worth mentioning.

That wasn’t a multiple choice question, by the way.

Thank you for attending my FED Talk. I’m sure a lot of feathers have been ruffled, but it’s okay – we’re all Big Birds here.

You may now take your seat…home with you. They’re a collector’s item.

I look forward to hearing from you in the comments section below! What foods have you never had before? Why? 

About Paul

I think of my blog as an all-you-can-read buffet. There's something for everyone and complimentary mints at the door as you leave.
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40 Responses to Foods I’ve Never Had

  1. Frede says:

    I’m with you on a lot of those! Except Reese’s. They’re my favourite ‘normal’ chocolate. If not Reese’s, I usually eat what my husband calls my ‘fancy chocolate’ (he’s British so anything that is not Cadbury is considered fancy).

    Liked by 1 person

  2. cd says:

    All I can say is wow Paul, wow. There are some shocking things on this list but I won’t judge!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Bill Fonda says:

    I’m a notoriously picky eater, and I’m with you on a bunch of these, but peanut butter cups? Chocolate milk?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Authoress51 says:

    I think most of us are picky eaters in our own ways. Your list isn’t the worst I have seen/heard.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Rebecca says:

    Aw, darn! Reese’s are actually my favorite *cheap* chocolates. I LOVE poutine and sweet potato fries. But I respect your tastes, and maybe we can hear about your favorite foods you’ve had (or ones you haven’t had, but are curious to try)!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Maybe I’ve just never seen/had a chance to have a good poutine. The one at my school looked like a big puddle, though people loved it. And that’s a good idea, I’ll see if I could come up with a blog post for that!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Reese peanut butter cups are too sweet. However, if you freeze them and eat them frozen they are perfect. 🙂

    Fun post!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Trader Joe’s has good dark chocolate peanut butter cups that are way better than Recees! You might like those

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Look, Paul….Paul E. Wally Windows….. get it, your a picky eater, like Bill. But 1) your Canadian and you don’t like poutine!? Seriously? I’m not even Canadian (I’m 1600 miles from Canada) AND a Texan and I LOVE poutine.
    2) I understand that Canadians have no tolerance for spicy food. 3) chocolate milk AND hot chocolate!? It’s like, I don’t even know you Paul….lol
    I love this, your awesome Paul, even if you don’t like poutine 😜🤣😂😁

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Haha ok, I call myself a selective eater rather than a picky eater because if I was forced to eat these foods, I would. However, I don’t have the urge to eat them, therefore I don’t classify that as picky. I think of a picky eater as someone who will look at the food in front of them and pick it apart. I’m spending too much time on this lol

      1. Why does it have to have cheese? That’s my problem with it.

      2. Oh I think a lot of Canadians love spice. Everyone is always bragging about eating spicy food.

      3. Lol I’m sorry.

      Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I’ve never tried chocolate milk because I don’t like milk and adding chocolate to it just sounds even grosser. But besides that I am shocked by this list!!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Dutch Lion says:

    You are one strange bird Paul. I love you man. I’m with you on several of these too. Licorice is the worst! Ughsauce. I also don’t know many of these, especially the Canadian ones. Sushi? Horrible. Sweet potato fries? Too much inventing. Ice cream cake? Amazingly good! Gum? Are you serious? C’mon Paul. I bet you threw gum into your column just to see if people were paying attention. I’m calling you out on that one. LOL!

    Reid

    Liked by 1 person

  11. mydangblog says:

    I used to be a very picky kid but at 54, I’ll eat just about anything now. My two exceptions are peas and beets. Disgusting. I even enjoyed brussel sprouts the other night (of course, I roasted them and then smothered them with cheese and bacon, which will make anything except peas and beets taste fantastic).

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Ohh I like peas! I’m not sure if I’ve ever tried beets though, and since you say they’re disgusting, I’ll stay away from them. I recall liking brussel sprouts but I don’t go looking for them to eat.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. As I love spicy food and sweets, this list is bound to be different than mine. I do agree with you on hot drinks though; normally I drink iced coffee unless there’s there’s no ice; then I’d probably reluctantly take it hot, but any coffee is better than no coffee for me. I’ve also never heard of pickle popcorn before, but I do not think I would be willing to try it anytime soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      I do wish I liked spicy food, but I just can’t handle it. Ohhh stay away from the pickle popcorn. I had never heard of it either which is why I didn’t think I had to read the label – won’t make that mistake again.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Pingback: The week gone by — March 1 – A Silly Place

  14. Becky says:

    Reese’s, really?! They’re my favorite candy! And I at least give you credit for trying sushi; I just refuse to because I don’t really eat any kind of seafood.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      This is why we wager Costco cookies and nothing else. The piece of sushi I had tasted like a meatball and I didn’t understand the hype at all. If you don’t really eat seafood, you’re not going to like some parts of my follow up post (coming soon) called Foods I Like.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Becky says:

        The only seafood I eat is white fish, like cod. We’re just not big fish people in my house, so I also haven’t had the opportunity to try much seafood.

        Liked by 1 person

  15. Katherine says:

    Hello, Paul, you got me from the title: FED Talk 😅.
    As for the foods you have mentioned for half of them I will agree with you. But I Can’t give up my coffee, the hot chocolate and nutella.
    I believe that everyone has different tastes and different ways of appreciating the taste and the flavor within.

    Have a productive week ahead and maybe discover new tastes! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Glad you liked the title! There is probably another FED Talk coming this week, so stay tuned! I respect your food choices. I agree, we all have different tastes and preferences. In a perfect world, we would all like every food, but that’s not the case. That being said, I do think at some point in my life I’ll try all of these foods on my list. I’m just being stubborn currently lol

      Like

  16. Pingback: FED Talk: Foods I Like | The Captain's Speech

  17. Pingback: The week gone by — March 8 – A Silly Place

  18. Forestwood says:

    “Nutella looks like high-end mud.” I am so on board with you there! Beaver Tails – is that for real?
    You keep on demanding white milk! It should be an option! Great FED talk! Thanks for the laugh.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Yes! So glad you agree with my assessment of Nutella. Beaver Tails are just fried dough with toppings like chocolate, whipped cream, or nuts, etc. on top. No beavers are involved! Thanks for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

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