50 Thoughts XXX

1. Sometimes humour comes from a place of pain, like when I hit my funny bone on a door frame the other day.

2. I don’t trust squirrels. They’re either going to jump on my head, or untie my shoelaces, but they haven’t yet because they’re luring me into a false sense of security.

3. I watched Home Alone 3 over the holidays for the first time since I was a kid. It’s actually not terrible.

4. There was a kid in my Grade 9 gym class who told the teacher he didn’t complete his Health assignment because he was too busy “birthday planning”. He was dead serious. The teacher was holding back a laugh. I still laugh about this.

5. NFL referees should just drop the penalty flag beside them, instead of throwing it at the players. We get it, you used to be the quarterback of your high school team 45 years ago.

6. The teacher to student ratio in the Hogwarts Dining Hall is suboptimal.

7. There never seems to be a blizzard on New Year’s Eve. I just want there to be mayhem going on in Times Square behind Anderson Cooper.

8. 1980 will always feel like it was 20 years ago.

9. The only people who still say “New Year, New Me” are doing so mockingly.

10. Every time a band makes a new album, they say it’s a “departure from their previous sound”. Did they put their instruments on a raft?

11. It should be against the law to attend a holiday party when you’re sick.

12. Unrelated to #11, if you eat a spicy chicken sandwich while you have a sore throat, you won’t taste the spiciness at all. Test Subject: Me.

13. I’m tired of sport broadcasters asking, “Did the league get it right?” every time a player is suspended.

14. I know “Pamplemousse” means grapefruit in French, but it sounds like it means “Pommel Horse”.

15. I forgot what green grapes tasted like, since I’ve only been eating red grapes for the last five years.

16. Chris Daughtry should keep going on singing shows until he wins. I’m still mad he came in 4th on American Idol.

17. Friends is still on Netflix in Canada.

17.5 Doesn’t matter to me, I’m only saying this so my American readers know.

18. How do figure skaters spin 1000 times and then skate perfectly down to the other end of the rink?

19. The Circle on Netflix is so good.

20. I’ve had seven bowls of soup this year, which puts me on pace to shatter my previous personal best.

21. Why is a bowl of soup so filling? I had it for lunch the other day and had to push back dinner time by two hours, I was so stuffed.

22. Every character in every TV show looks like they just got a haircut.

23. What is Regis Philbin up to these days?

24. The beginning of the third Harry Potter movie is a combination of Up, Willy Wonka and Frankenstein.

25. My mom brags to our Italian relatives that I know how to cook and they’re all shocked because apparently Italian men don’t know how to do anything in the kitchen.

26. There should be a character in The Walking Dead who calls themselves the chairman of the hoard.

27. Twenty years from now, a student will ask their teacher: “Why didn’t they just shut down Twitter in 2020, so no one would say anything that could end the world?”

28. I’ve been meaning to update my About page, but that would mean I’d have to read what’s currently there. I’m not prepared to do that.

29. Tweets that have poor grammar and punctuation are more likely to go viral.

30. I’m the only person who seems to lose weight over the holidays. I don’t know how I do it.

31. It always bugs me when there is a spelling mistake on the ticker of a sports/news network.

32. There’s an unspoken bond between people who played MVP Baseball 2005 when they were a kid.

33. Rugby Sevens and Lacrosse are two sports that deserve more attention.

34. There should be a word for non-bloggers. I nominate, “Buggles”.

34.5 This was inspired by, “Muggles”.

35. We need to get Kaitlyn Herman back in the Big Brother house.

36. If you have an oatmeal cookie for a snack, it should be called an oatsnack cookie.

36.5 Gonna wait to see if this joke lands.

36.75 Nope, it’s still soaring.

37. Katie Nolan is vastly under-utilized at ESPN.

38. Few things will ever be as wholesome as the Care Bear Countdown.

39. Sports need more video montages.

40. I want to go to the Olympics one day, in whatever capacity they’ll have me. Fan, athlete, employee, mascot, ray of sunshine, etc. It doesn’t matter to me.

41. Eleven years ago, I had vanilla ice cream with sprinkles and strawberries, in a plastic bowl. I’m still traumatized by how bad it was.

42. Ever just wake up and immediately break into a cough because you’re choking?

43. The songs, “Higher” and “My Sacrifice” by Creed, carry so many memories for wrestling fans.

44. STOP WITH THE FOOT FUNGUS COMMERCIALS AFTER DINNER.

45. “Why’d the chicken cross the road? Because you didn’t cook it.” – Gordon Ramsay

46. The best thing about Blockbuster was being able to rent video games you’d never buy. Rugrats: Scavenger Hunt, for Nintendo 64, comes to mind.

47. We’re about six months away from someone writing a movie called, Reboot: The Reboot, aren’t we?

48. Pluto will always be a planet, to me.

49. New Movie Idea: A NASA telescope discovers a new planet that has civilization on it and it becomes their mission to make contact with them. There would be at least 15 movies in the series because it would probably take that long to do it.

50. It’s called a couch because the guy who invented it is named, Jay Wellingdon Couch.

About Paul

I think of my blog as an all-you-can-read buffet. There's something for everyone and complimentary mints at the door as you leave.
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41 Responses to 50 Thoughts XXX

  1. Frede says:

    Pamplemousse was one of my favourite word to teach my English-speaking husband, mostly because he pronounced it ‘pump-lay-mooze’.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. writershilpa says:

    Hahaha!
    By the way, FRIENDS still plays on Netflix India.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. markbialczak says:

    I agree about lacrosse, Paul. I’ve been a follower my whole life, even threw the ball around with the neighborhood when I was growing up in a lacrosse hotbed area. I’ve never seen a Rugby Sevens Match down here below the border, though.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      I always looked forward to watching lacrosse on TV but for the last – maybe 10 years – it’s only available online through a subscription and I don’t subscribe. It’s a shame. As for Rugby Sevens, keep an eye out for it in the Olympics this summer! It’s a fast paced game – rugby’s version of 3 on 3 hockey.

      Like

      • markbialczak says:

        Fortunately we get plenty of lacrosse on TV down here, Paul. I follow my college alma mater Maryland, which always has a good team. The hometown Syracuse Orange has not been as good as the legend of late. Now I will look out of the Rugby Sevens, thank you! Sounds like box lacrosse, perhaps.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Wow Paul, you remember how many bowls of soup you’ve had? Man I need to start counting! I agree with you, nail fungus med commercials need to be aired only during the day, ugh. Great list Paul!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Authoress51 says:

    Interesting. And, I agree. They never should have eliminated Pluto as a planet.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Cate B says:

    34 and 34.5 ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  7. peckapalooza says:

    3. I might have to go ahead and disagree with you on that one. Any movie calling itself “Home Alone” that does not star Macaulay Culkin as Kevin McAllister is trying to be something it isn’t.
    8. I concur. I am also still in my mid-20s.
    15. I refuse to eat anything but a red seedless grape. And I refuse to feed them to myself. I must be wearing a toga, lounging on a sofa, whilst servants also fan me with gigantic palm fronds.
    16. Yeah, he should’ve won that year. Whatever happened to Taylor Hicks? Nothing. That’s what.
    23. If How I Met Your Mother is a portrait of real life, Regis is probably at the gym at any given moment.
    34. Is it safe to assume you’ve been watching a lot of Harry Potter lately?
    40. I want to watch a bobsled event from somewhere near the finish line. And when a team finishes, I want to start a slow clap.
    42. Yes, but as far as I can remember, it’s only happened when I’ve had a cold.
    47. Remember the TV show, Reboot? I wonder if it will ever get the reboot treatment.
    48. #justiceforpluto

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      3. Because it’s associated with the first two movies, it’ll never get respect. As a stand alone movie, it’s perfectly fine.
      15. That is the only way to eat red grapes.
      16. At the time, I felt like he only won because he had grey hair. And to be honest, if Daughtry were to have won the show, who knows if he makes the music he did since the show’s producers would control his career. But still.
      34. Yes it is! There was an HP marathon on over the holidays and I taped all the movies. Been slowly getting through them.
      47. I do remember Reboot! I’ve given them a free idea now.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. iamfictional says:

    Since you mentioned buggles, i thought “mudblogs” should also be a thing but i’m still not sure what combination of blogging/nonblogging people they are for

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Sarah Warsi says:

    Re: #8 – I agree! Ironically, I was reminiscing last night about how the year 2000 was 20 years ago!? Insane.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Dutch Lion says:

    I still own MLB MVP 2005 with Manny Ramirez on the cover for PS2. I don’t think I can play it on my PS3 or PS4. Bummer man! That was a great game!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Toni Gray says:

    Too many things I couldn’t help but laugh at 😂 NEVER trust squirrels, my friend actually got attacked by one on campus and had to swat her backpack at it (while standing on a bench) until others came and intervened. I also support buggles omg too funny! Great post Paul 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Hahah so squirrels ARE dangerous! Standing on a bench, swinging at a squirrel is a funny scene to picture. And I’m glad you support the buggles term!

      Like

  12. mydangblog says:

    This is outstanding, and yes to Rugby Sevens!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. HOME ALONE 3!! HOLY CRAP lol haven’t watched that in years!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. My favorite scene in 2 is when they’re all crawling out of the room its hilarious. I reference those movies alot.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Pingback: Welcome to the Circle | No Love for Fatties

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