50 Thoughts XXVII

1. Do the random, far-fetched scenarios you think about before falling asleep, ever actually happen in real life?

2. Famous people really love to complain on Twitter when their flight is delayed. I’m sorry all of your money has put you in such a terrible situation.

3. I’ve made the switch to thin-sliced steaks and don’t think I’ll ever turn back. Let it cook on the stove, ONE MINUTE on each side, and it’s done.

4. Fred VanVleet’s son was born on Monday. Nick Nurse’s son was also born on Monday. The Raptors have some weird baby magic going on and IT MUST CONTINUE.

5. I woke up the other day and noticed the pulse in my ankles for the first time. It was beating out of my foot. It startled me, but then it disappeared and that freaked me out even more.

6. Back in elementary school, there was a time when the librarian gave us an individual pack of Chips Ahoy Cookies for reading a certain number of books.

7. Christine Sinclair is the best soccer player Canada has ever had and I still remember seeing her on TV for the first time in 2002, when her and Kara Lang were dominating some other country at Commonwealth Stadium in Edmonton.

8. All Elite Wrestling is what professional wrestling should be. The WWE better be worried.

9. Anders is the best character on Dynasty. Cristal Carrington is second. The final spot on the podium is up for grabs.

10. I still don’t understand why the pineapple on pizza debate just took off in the last few years, when it’s been a topping since at least 2003.

11. Whenever something doesn’t go the way I thought it would, I’ll say it was “Foibled”. This is Paul-speak for “Foiled”. When this catches on in five years, I want credit.

12. I miss the presence of “the lollipop man” in Formula 1 pit crews. Now they just have automated systems, telling the drivers to go.

13. It bothers me that they don’t interview the horses after horse races.

14. A few months ago, I was cornered into watching an episode of Project Runway with my sister. Almost every outfit looked like it could get caught in an escalator.

15. Orange freezies are the best.

16. The third season of Designated Survivor is coming to Netflix on June 7. ABC should’ve never cancelled it.

17. “Hold On” by Wilson Phillips is a banger. I dare you to tell me otherwise.

18. There’s been a shift in the keyboard industry, recently. Best to keep tabs on it.

19. “Hey, let’s fill a flexible bag with a gas and make it the primary decoration at birthday parties!” – The origin story of balloons

20. STOP APOLOGIZING FOR YOUR BLOGGING HIATUS.

21. Laura Secord has the best mint chocolate bars on the planet.

22. Ever lay on your back, stare upwards, and imagine you were able to walk on the ceiling?

23. It’s not a garden salad unless you can taste cucumber on every leaf.

24. I’m just learning that people actually hate Scrappy-Doo. I will not stand for this.

25. My friend was mad at me the other day because they HAD A DREAM that I was being awkward around them and didn’t pet their dog.

26. The weather app goes all out during thunderstorms.

27. The word “picnic” was created because it makes “eating lunch on the grass, while flicking a mosquito off your sandwich every 23 seconds” sound somewhat fun.

28. I’m already excited for fantasy football.

29. Did I miss the memo that said you’re only allowed to use sand to make castles?

30. Picture a beach full of sand castles. Now bring it to life. That’s what Monaco looks like.

31. The Michelin Man looks like he can be the father of Casper The Friendly Ghost.

32. Care Bears Countdown.

33. Betty Crocker is a fictional character, who was created for marketing purposes. And here I am thinking I haven’t made it in life until they name a boxed cake mix after me.

34. Pool Noodles should be called Pool Straws, which would make more sense because WATER.

35. Paint cans are so positive and optimistic. Otherwise, they’d be paint can’ts.

36. Back in my day, May had warm weather.

37. The human behaviour inside Costco is preparing us for the end of the world.

38. I always laugh when a sports team introduces new jerseys and over-explains what the logo and colours mean. Your jersey is blue. End of sentence. I don’t care that it represents the sky, which means the sky’s the limit for your team. Stop.

39. Wilma Flintstone always looks like she’s off to a toga party.

40. I have a hard time remembering when to use “peak” vs. “peek”, but I think I’ve figured out a way to help myself. “PEAK” has an “A” in it which looks like you’re climbing to the pinnacle of something.

41. I started reading a book about nine months ago and I’m only 107 pages into it. This is what happens when you combine a semi-interesting book with a mildly interested reader, who is too stubborn to give up on it and start another book.

42. Dust accumulates too fast.

43. MLB should extend the protective netting all the way down the foul line to the outfield wall. It’s only a matter of time before someone gets a line drive to the face. The netting will also prevent fans from reaching over and touching a live ball.

44. The social media of the future is called, YourSpace, and it’s where you just step away from the chaos and let others continue to look like fools on the internet.

45. I feel inferior to people who know how to play chess.

46. Dimetapp and Banana Medicine were the best tasting medicines when I was a kid.

47. Chocolate brownies.

48. Recently got a new pillow for my bed and it is already in my Pillow Hall of Fame. Don’t know where it’s been my whole life.

49. I’ve grown to appreciate shorts that have a mesh lining on the inside.

50. Sign, sign, everywhere a sign.