I Finished Watching Gilmore Girls

Previously on, “Paul blogs about Gilmore Girls“…

“Rory Gilmore is ridiculous.”

“I say Har, you say Vard.”

“They had more food than when I ordered 18 pizzas for a Super Bowl party in 2011.”

“Rory finds a nice big tree to sit under. She looks content.”

“YOU ARE RECKLESS WITH MONEY AND GIVE IT TO PEOPLE WHO ARE SITTING UNDER “YOUR” TREE.”

“Dean can’t un-cheat on his wife. Rory is ‘the other woman’.”

If that recap wasn’t enough insight for you – I tried to pull out the most important points – then you may read the rest of my thoughts here: Season 4 of Gilmore Girls.

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, animals of all breeds, it is time to discuss Gilmore Girls, in its entirety. What a challenge this is going to be.

Let me warn you, this is going to be a very Paul-esque discussion. I hope you didn’t expect anything less.

When you don’t know where to start, you start at the beginning, so let’s go there.

Season 1 was so innocent. It was a nice, homey show, you could wrap your hands around, like a giant beach ball.

Lorelai Gilmore and her daughter, Rory, live alone in a small town called, Stars Hollow, where everyone knows each other.

Lorelai got pregnant when she was 16; Rory’s father is Christopher and he is not really in their lives that much, but since this is a TV show, he will be as of now.

Rory is a good student, who is a bit too naive and innocent, but that all gets stripped away in the Season 4 finale. In Season 1, she has a crush on a boy named Dean, who bags groceries in a small store that probably doesn’t need, nor can afford, a person with that position.

But there he is. That’s Dean. Always there when you don’t need him.

The word “coffee” is uttered about 17 times per episode, as a result of one of the main settings being Luke’s Diner.

Luke is a cantankerous character who doesn’t like cellphones, fun, or town meetings. He wears a backwards baseball cap that Lorelai gifted him because she’s the one person who can make him do things he doesn’t want to do.

I think that’s called blackmail, but in this case we’ll call it love.

The town is full of kooks, lead by the man with 1000 odd jobs, Kirk.

Lorelai works at an inn with a guy named, Michel, who has a really thick French accent, and a general disdain for working with others.

There is also Sookie, the vibrant chef, who later goes on to play Sean Spicer on Saturday Night Live marry Jackson – the produce supplier, and wearer of hats that don’t cover his ears and make him look like the third member of the Sticky/Wet Bandits in Home Alone.

I warned you. Paul-esque discussion.

Lorelai’s parents are rich and have a new maid every episode because Emily Gilmore has standards and an accent that I thought was British, but it turns out she just talks like a rich person.

Her husband, Richard, has the presence of Hagrid, and wears bowties all day and all night and everything he sees is just blue like him, inside and outside.

I know what you’re thinking. “Did Paul just quote Eiffel 65?”

Yes, but no.

The colour blue is a nod to Richard’s alma mater, Yale. See, everything I write makes sense.

Lorelai doesn’t have a good relationship with her parents, but her and Rory are obligated to attend Friday dinners with them because this show was filmed at a time when you couldn’t just Skip The Dishes.

Listen, these references are going to keep coming at you fast, so let’s look alive out there.

For the first three seasons, all Rory talks about is going to Harvard. It’s her dream school, until it isn’t.

She ends up at Yale and spends her entire freshman year trying to come out of her cage and convince herself that she’s doing just fine. But she’s not doing “just fine”.

There is no bright side.

This brings us to the Season 4 finale where Dean – her now former boyfriend and owner of awful haircuts – is married, but that doesn’t stop him and Rory from doing the damn thing.

Season 5 is filled without breakups because as soon as the goodie two-shoes of the show messes up, it’s open season for the rest of the cast.

Emily and Richard split up, but since they live in a mansion, Richard goes to live in the pool house. A pool house was a necessity for every TV show in the oughts, as seen in The OC and every other show where teenagers needed a place to stay.

If you don’t know what the oughts are, they’re the first decade of every century. Clearly, I’ve upped my vocabulary today. I think it’s because I’m sitting in an upright position and not slouched.

Knowledge travels faster in a straight line – it’s math, or something.

Anyway, Dean and his wife Lindsay also break up, which opens the door (literally) for secret meet-ups with Rory, so they can further disappoint their families.

Oh yes, I forgot to mention that at the end of Season 4, Luke and Lorelai finally got together. It was a long pursuit, like a fly ball to right-centre field at Fenway Park, or Ross and Rachel in Friends.

Just covered my entire demographic with that two-for-one reference.

But like Ross and Rachel, Luke and Lorelai go on a BREAK, when Emily invites Christopher to a wedding and urges him to pursue Lorelai because Emily doesn’t like the smell of Luke’s raggedy hat, or the fact that he has to wipe tables after others finish eating.

At this point, Christopher had already been married to someone else and had another kid. Now, he’s furthering his status as “Most Annoying Character” because he just won’t go away.

People get engaged on The Bachelor in 8 weeks, and yet he’s still pursuing Lorelai after 20 years, thinking he still has a chance.

Emily Gilmore is a meddler – not unlike kids on Scooby Doo – but deep down she just wants a relationship with her daughter – a relationship she lost when Lorelai got pregnant and moved out. She’s too fierce to admit her loneliness.

Lorelai is also lonely, but she’s too jacked up on coffee to let it show. Also, her and Sookie are now owners of their own inn – The Dragonfly Inn – and her “Fake it till you make it” facade owns her disposition for most of the day.

That’s what this show is about, I feel. It’s about people who live in a small town, who are constantly around those who love them, but when they go home at night, something is missing. So they all try and fill that gap in different ways.

I’ve neglected to mention Rory’s best friend, Lane, who has a very strict mother, Mrs. Kim.

I love the Mrs. Kim character, especially in the later seasons when she loosens up her vise-grip on her daughter’s life. Did they ever give us a reason why she did that, or are we just supposed to assume that she wants her daughter to be happy?

Lane is in a band and starts dating fellow band member and designated long blonde hair character, Zach. They end up getting married and Lane has twins. Their relationship always seemed weird to me.

Anyway, by the end of Season 5, Rory has gone full-blown teenage anarchist.

Rory and her new love interest, a rich little snot named, Logan Huntzberger – who just so happened to be on The Tonight Show the other night – steal a yacht because she’s just been told by Logan’s father that she doesn’t have a future as a journalist.

Because when someone tells you your dream is unattainable, you don’t fight for it. Instead, you steal a yacht, end up in jail, and have to call your mother to bail you out.

Basically, Rory turned into the female version of Sid from Toy Story. All she needed was a black shirt with a skull on it, and Jackson’s hat.

The season ends with Lorelai proposing to Luke. Luke accepts, which means we’re finally going to get a nice big wedding where the entire town is invited, and it’ll be a joyous occasion!

So much to look forward to! We can roll the windows down and cruise, right?

Wrong.

Season 6 is a red-herring for the stupidity of Season 7, but how was I to know?

Rory decides she still has further to fall because being locked up in a jail cell isn’t quite far enough. She decides not to go back to Yale, which causes a rift between her and her mom.

The wedding between Luke and Lorelai is put off until Rory and Lorelai reconcile.

Rory moves in with the grandparents, who have long since reconciled their own differences, which was a must because the pool house needed to be free for Rory to stay in.

Emily and Richard try and build Rory back up better, faster, and stronger than before, but instead, she becomes a schmoozer at parties with rich people, where fine wines must be better than fine.

All the while, Rory has to complete 300 hours of community service, picking up garbage on the side of the road.

At one point, she starts a shoving match with another girl and the skirmish has to be broken up. It was the worst fake fight I’ve ever seen.

They each went to the penalty box for five minutes to think about what they did, and spit on the ground.

After five months of stupidity, Rory and her mom reunite and Rory decides to go back to Yale.

Yay! Hooray! Break out Kool & the Gang! It’s time for a celebrat…

Wait, what’s that? That thing coming out of nowhere. It’s…it’s like a human asteroid and it’s about to hit Luke’s Diner!

This is the moment when the rest of the air came out of the show’s balloon.

A 12-year-old girl named, April Nardini, goes up to Luke and asks for one of his hairs so she can do a DNA test to see if he’s her father.

April Nardini? More like April Sardini because this storyline stunk!

On a human level, yes, let the girl find her biological father.

On a storyline level, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

It is confirmed that April is Luke’s daughter and the fans go wild mild.

Luke and Lorelai are terrible communicators. That’s one of the reasons why it took them what, eight years(?), to get in a relationship in the first place.

But they are so bad at telling each other what they’re thinking. They try so hard not to hurt each other, so they keep secrets, like the visits with Christopher, and the 12-year-old daughter.

They tell each other what they think the other wants to hear, rather than what needs to be said.

April Sardini swam her way into her father’s life, and was a secret for two months before Lorelai found out.

And with the wedding quickly approaching, it all became too much for Luke. I believe it was Lorelai who said they could postpone the wedding again, but that’s not what she wanted. It was one of those tests that men are given and Luke failed.

He said it would be best to postpone the wedding and Lorelai stood there with a fake smile, acting like everything was okay, even though it wasn’t.

Just once, I want television characters to be blunt with each other, especially when they’ve known each other for a decade.

The season ends with Lorelai giving Luke an ultimatum – they elope right away, or they’re over.

They’re over.

Season 7 is a waste of time and makes my blood boil like a fresh pot of tomato sauce at Nonna’s house.

Lorelai goes back to Christopher, they get married in Paris, and then they break up a few months later because Christopher finally realizes that Lorelai wants to be with Luke and always has.

Thanks for coming out, Christopher. Not sure why you couldn’t take a hint for the last 20 years.

Rory graduates and gets a job covering Barack Obama’s election campaign.

Lorelai and Luke reunite with a kiss and the series is over.

But wait, there’s more! God, why does there have to be more? This series was already two seasons too long.

In 2016, nine years after the final episode, the show came back for four, 90-minute episodes on Netflix. I remember people being so excited about it at the time.

“ERMAGERD A GILMUR GURLS REVIVUL YEE HAW, Y’ALL”

Don’t know why I went southern with that, but it’s there now.

It was called, Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life.

First impression: Everyone got really old, but Lorelai looks exactly the same and Emily Gilmore hasn’t aged a bit since the turn of the century.

I’m going to be honest, I thought it was really bad.

Like, dirty socks dunked in a sewage drain and stuffed inside your pillow case, level of bad.

There was 6 hours of content, and yet I walked away from it feeling like nothing happened at all. Where was the plot?

Every scene felt like it was seven minutes too long. I’m not exaggerating.

That stupid Stars Hollow Musical thing was a 12-minute atrocity. I had to skip through the last four minutes of it. Why? Because I plan to live until I’m 100.

It was just so terrible, which pains me to say because I’m sure a lot of people worked really hard to make it the show the fans wanted.

None of the characters have actually moved on and done anything.

Luke and Lorelai still aren’t married, but they are living together. Why aren’t they married by now? It took them 10 years to get together and another 9 years for the cameras to re-enter their life.

Is that it? Do they just want their wedding to be filmed and were waiting on a Netflix crew to roll into Stars Hollow?

Well, great. You got your wish.

As for Rory, she has a boyfriend named Paul!

But the story with Paul is that no one remembers him, not even Rory. How dare she neglect a fellow Paul like that?

Oh, that’s right, it’s because she’s participating in yet another affair! This time with Logan, who is engaged, but that doesn’t seem to matter.

Poor Paul, he’s just a patsy.

What’s worse is Lorelai doesn’t even condemn her for it. She doesn’t yell at her for cheating on her boyfriend with a guy who’s engaged.

Nothing. Just par for the course, as if affairs are alright. Yeah, let’s send that message out into the world.

Rory Gilmore is a terrible character, who does terrible things, but is looked upon as a bright, shining light.

I’m not saying she has to be perfect, but after you go to jail and get involved in two affairs, I think I’m allowed to call you terrible.

The one good thing about this revival was that we’d finally get the wedding scene where Luke and Lorelai are at the altar and the camera pans through the crowd to show all the townspeople crying tears of joy.

And then they drive off into the sunset in Lorelai’s jeep, except not really, because Stars Hollow has about 4 roads so they’d go in a square, but whatever, they could fix it in post-production.

So that’s what we had to look forward to.

Nope.

Luke and Lorelai decide to sneak out in the middle of the night, grab a few witnesses, and get married without anyone else attending.

Come on! They’ve had that wedding scene in their back pocket for 15 years and never delivered on it. They could’ve created an iconic scene like The Office and be relevant on YouTube forever, but no.

And you can say, “Well that’s the kind of wedding these characters would have – an impulsive wedding.” Sure, but if they were so impulsive, IT WOULDN’T TAKE THEM TWO DECADES TO GET MARRIED.

So then the series ends with Rory telling her mom that she’s pregnant.

That’s it. Fade to black.

You come back after nine years just to end on a cliffhanger?

“Rory needs to go find Maury”, is how this series ended.

I don’t want another revival. I’m done with it. Most viewers probably saw that final scene and freaked out thinking, “Who’s the father?”

Me? I couldn’t care less who the father is. I have no desire to know. I don’t want to see this story continue.

Deep down I hope it’s Paul, just so she’s forced to acknowledge his existence.

Were there any clues throughout the revival at who it could be? I didn’t pick up on any, but then again it was hard to be an attentive viewer while my brain was melting.

On a whole, Gilmore Girls was a good show that is a cornerstone of it’s time.

The first three seasons were great.

The next two seasons were different, but still reasonable.

Season 6 was a precursor to the nonsense in Season 7, where Christopher and April ruined everything that was ever good about this show. Their presence took away from the cohesiveness of the town.

They are not Stars Hollowe’ens.

Two minutes into the pilot episode, the viewer wants Luke and Lorelai to be together. They eventually are, but zero episodes in this series chronicle their life as a married couple.

We never got that. We got a bunch of conflict, poor communication, and a 12-year-old girl with pigtails.

As for the revival, everything felt disjointed. I don’t even know what the main story was.

Despite all that, I’d call Gilmore Girls a good show.

I think I’m done.

If you read all of this, you deserve your own holiday.

Thank you!

Let me know your thoughts below on anything about Gilmore Girls. Do you agree with my assessment? What are your thoughts on Rory? Did you like the revival? What should I watch now?

About Paul

I think of my blog as an all-you-can-read buffet. There's something for everyone and complimentary mints at the door as you leave.
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20 Responses to I Finished Watching Gilmore Girls

  1. Jess says:

    Hahaha I can already sense my comment is going to be a long one. First off, I agree with you on Seasons 6 and 7. They are my least favorite. They’re just not that interesting and Rory is extremely annoying with how immature she is in the 6th season. I got annoyed in Season 4 when Mrs. Kim threw out Lane and had to crash at Yale with Rory and Rory was all like, “Just enroll into Yale!” OH OKAY RORY. YOU CAN’T BE THAT STUPID. One of the toughest universities in the country and you expect Lane to just enroll. This ain’t community college sweetheart.

    As for the revival, I too felt some of the episodes were a little too long. I like what they did with Emily’s character trying to figure out how to live on her own now. As for Rory getting pregnant, I always assumed it was Logan’s. He was the love interest we saw in all four episodes. She saw him every couple of months it seemed. Considering she never saw Paul and we always forgot about him, I can’t imagine it’s him. One of my friends asked if it was the Comic Con guy she hooked up with in the Spring episode but if that were the case, she would have been ready to pop in the Fall episode, so that really only leaves Logan haha. Plus, I read that the conversation in that last revival episode with Christopher was supposed to be a hint that something was up and she was considering not telling Logan about the pregnancy. I ALSO READ (I read a lot I guess) that Rory getting pregnant was the ending they wanted in Season 7, but for some reason it didn’t happen. Which, of course in Season 7, it also would have been Logan’s so I think they are staying true to that storyline.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Haha Rory telling her to enrol into Yale was so dumb. It’s as if she doesn’t know there’s an admission process, or that it costs thousands of dollars. What a good friend, always there to provide practical solutions ughh

      Yup, Emily was the only one with a meaningful story. With everyone else it was just “Well they’re doing what they did 9 years ago.” The whole Sookie situation wasn’t believable at all and was really clear they couldn’t get her for all four episodes.

      I completely forgot about the Comic Con guy! I knew there was a third instance where she had cheated but couldn’t remember. And her mom was cheering her on for that. I think you’re right, the baby has to be Logan’s. Paul never got within 5 feet of her and I’m choosing to believe it wasn’t Dean or Jess.

      My sister told me that Season 7 had new show runners and Season 6 was the old show runners’ way of screwing them over with storylines that didn’t make sense. Then they came back for the revival, which was the ending they wanted to do all along.

      I’m surprised Paris never got her own spin-off out of this.

      Like

  2. This was everything I had hoped it would be, and everything I didn’t know I needed! This was amazing!! I had so many thoughts to share as I was reading but I didn’t write any of them down so you just get generic ones:

    The April story line SUCKED, as did the Christopher one.
    Finally a fellow human who thinks that Rory was a horrible person.
    The revival was so lame – how was Rory flying to and from England so much when she didn’t have a job?! Cos hook a sister up! I want whatever deal she has – or maybe not considering her past actions…
    You forgot Paris lol I love Paris in all her Parisy glory! Haha
    Kirk for President!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      I’m glad I have your approval on this post!

      Rory was such a frustrating character and what made it worse was no matter what she did, she always had the same facial expressions or used the same tone. Whenever she did get worked up, it was like a little kid begging for candy.

      Lol and she never had jet lag either!

      The whole time I was writing this I had Paris on my mind, wondering where to throw her in. But if I did I’d have to recount her relationship with a senior citizen and all that Doyle stuff and I just didn’t feel like it lol. She was one my favourites though. Really carried the dialogue between her and Rory.

      Kirk for everything!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. bexoxo says:

    I agree with your sentiment that Rory is terrible. I mean you can’t really debate that one. But as far as the revival, I don’t know if I was just overjoyed at the fact I was watching my favorite childhood show again or what, but I enjoyed it (sans the 12 minute musical; that was a mess!).

    And the cliffhanger of who Rory’s baby daddy is is just nonsense! It’s between Paul, Logan, and the wookiee she slept with after meeting in line somewhere while gathering info for an article she planned on writing about waiting in lines…. REALLY!? Any who, my money’s on the wookiee.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      See that’s what I was thinking – if I had to wait 9 years between the end of Season 7 and the start of the revival, I’d probably be overly excited for it and be able to look past the quality of it because I’m waist deep in the nostalgia of it all. Instead, I went from Season 7 to the revival in one day…

      Haha I think I did a blog post a few years ago about waiting in lines and I’m not a journalist. No wonder Rory moved back home and was struggling lol

      I don’t know if it is the wookiee, though that would be a fantastic option. Wasn’t that near the end of the Spring episode and she announced to her mom at the end of Fall that she was pregnant? I don’t know if the timeline makes sense, in that there were no visible signs that she was pregnant.

      Liked by 1 person

      • bexoxo says:

        It’s been so long since I’ve watched the revival, I couldn’t tell you. So out of all the characters, do you have a favorite? (Did you already state your favorite in another post and I just don’t recall…?)

        Liked by 1 person

      • Paul says:

        I don’t think I did. I think Luke if my favourite because I can relate to him the most. Then in no specific order: Lorelai, Kirk, Mrs. Kim, Richard Gilmore, Paris, Sookie. Wasn’t a fan of Jackson. Taylor was a bit toooo much at times. Ms. Patty and Babette were always gold when in scenes together.

        Like

      • bexoxo says:

        If you had to pick (yeah, I know- I hate this game too…) which is better: Patty and Babette’s banter or Logan’s crew? I always chuckled at what the Yale wannabe frat boys had to say.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Paul says:

        Patty and Babette, no question! I was never a fan of Logan and his crew haha

        Like

  4. MagLyM says:

    I thought I watched all the seasons, but somehow I missed that Christopher and Lorelai got married. What? Perfect recap!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Hahah this was great! I always thought her not paying at Luke’s was their way of communicating “We’ll end up married and my money will be your money anyways”.

      I made a mistake at reading the comments of that article though – “Women are allowed to be flawed.” I think they missed the point of the list lol

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh wow – I didn’t make it through the whole list! I didn’t even notice the not paying at Luke’s! Some people pick up on the smallest things haha

        And yes, never read the comments,Paul! Rookie mistake lol

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Haha oh god this was my favorite show when I was younger. I made so many Gilmore Girls references on my blog! You really did well with your analysis:)

    Liked by 1 person

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