I just want to point out how cool it is knowing that people who don’t watch The Bachelorette, read these Viewing Notes and become invested in the show. Your comments – especially the ones from last week – are much appreciated
and make me feel like a cult leader every time.
This feels like a new genre. Not virtual reality, but virtual viewing. Like you look at words and an image appears in your head! There’s nothing like it in the world today.
Yes, I know it’s called “reading”. That’s the joke. Save your comments.
Back again this week to share her thoughts
and balance my stupidity, is Cass! Her thoughts will be in bold.
~ We are in the Bahamas this week and I can’t wait!
~ Becca talks about these destinations as if she likes them more than she likes the guys.
~ The guys enter their suite, while Becca is talking to Chris Harrison who has his sleeves rolled up for the first time this season! Finally.
~ They’re having a conversation that 99% of society has via text, rather than sitting next to each other on a couch with their legs crossed. This is such a TV show.
~ “No drama” lol.
~ Oh boy, she’s falling in love.
~ Becca goes to see the guys and no one stands up.
~ There is no Rose Ceremony; there are four dates for six guys.
~ Colton gets the first one-on-one date and everyone is shocked.
~ Colton has another secret…oh my.
~ Oh, the first half hour of this episode is going to be about how Colton is a virgin and if he will share this secret, or not.
~ Did she just say he has blonde hair?? Is she colour blind?
~ Wait, I thought he did have blonde hair…..
~ Becca and Colton will be spending the day on a catamaran.
~ I hope they don’t have to feed a pet, or water a plant, or something. Oh right, it’s a TV show. Silly me. It’s so easy to forget sometimes….
~ A guy on a yellow boat appears, jumps aboard their catamaran, and says stuff that prompts them to dive in the water.
~ The last four minutes desperately needed subtitles.
~ It’s time for dinner and Colton tells her his secret.
~ “Really?” – Becca
~ Becca is looking like he just told her he spent five years in jail. Oh, now she’s left the table.
~ He just told her the biggest secret ever and she goes out for air.
~ Almost feels orchestrated.
~ Didn’t Arie do this last season when Lauren told him she loved him? He got up from the table and left?
~ How much you wanna bet Becs thought he was like super experienced?
~ Becca has a tattoo of a cross on her hand. Oh, the layers to this nonsense.
~ Becca, your dinner is getting cold. Get back in there!
~ She’s returned to the table and looks so sad while talking to him.
~ This is making me nervous too, Colton.
~ “I would never judge you.” – Becca
~ The video evidence proves otherwise.
~ She’s giving him a rose because it would be a bad look to send him home now, so she’ll just meet his family next week and then send him home after that.
~ There are literally so many secrets with him, why is she giving him a rose.
~ “Getting the rose means she accepts me for who I am.” – Colton
~ Eh, this is a PR move.
~ So she’s meeting Colton’s family, now I’m nervous about who’s going home.
~ Garrett gets the next one-on-one date.
~ Not surprised Garrett got the next date card.
~ Blake is losing his mind because he only gets to talk to his girlfriend when she’s not hanging out with her other boyfriends.
~ Blake is having a low-key heart attack.
~ Don’t worry Blake, I’ll date you.
~ Garrett and Becca are on a beach. They’re getting on a seaplane. It is named Tia. Colton should’ve had this date.
~ They’re having a picnic on a private beach and Becca tells the camera that she feels like they’re the only people on Earth right now.
~ THERE ARE PEOPLE FILMING YOU AND YOU’RE TALKING TO THEM, HOW COULD YOU BE THE ONLY PEOPLE ON EARTH?
~ Weekly reminder that I know nothing about Becca.
~ They do typical Bachelorette-Beach Date stuff, etc.
~ Yes Garret, life is short.
~ Back at the Bro house, Blake is getting the next date, which means Wills, Tarzan, and Jason have a 3-on-1, which means they should all just self-evict now.
~ If there are 6 people left and you’re still going on group dates, you ain’t the one.
~ Blake can finally breathe a little better.
~ These guys need to leave the hotel room and enjoy the Bahamas weather a little.
~ Guys, Will better get the rose on the group date, just saying.
~ The last girl Garrett brought home to meet his parents was his ex-wife.
~ Jeeze, his ex-wife was the last girl he brought home.
~ It’s around this part in every season where the show shifts from “Let’s get to know each other” to “I need to convince her to pick me in the end”.
~ Garrett tells her he’s falling in love with her and she gives him a rose.
~ My tea is ice cold, but I’m too lazy to pause the DVR and warm it up.
~ Awh the guys are talking about Blake cracking a little. I mean, he did.
~ Blake and Becca meet up on the beach, of course.
~ They’re at a beach party, dancing to music.
~ Damn, The Baha Men are making a comeback via The Bachelorette.
~ There are about 19 people at this thing. The camera angles make it look more full than it is.
~ These dance moves are so bad.
~ Actually, these moves remind me of a drunk guy I recently got pulled into dancing with at a country concert. Block that out, Cass..
~ Becca says she sympathizes with Arie and can see how he liked more than one person at the end.
~ Omg she brought up Arie…no stop.
~ They hugged, they danced, they kissed, they squinted because it was sunny, and now they’re going for dinner.
~ Oh my Lord, Colton wants Blake to go home because he is a front-runner.
~ Remember Connor and how he barely had any buttons done up…meet Blake, he does all his buttons up.
~ Blake tells her he is in love with her.
~ Becca says he’s the first guy to tell her that. “He’s no longer falling, he’s there.”
~ And just like that, all is well with Hair B&B. I have neglected that nickname and I’m sorry.
~ Blake gets a rose.
~ GO BLAKE!!!!
~ So not ready for this group date…
~ Wills, Tarzan, and Jason are now going on their date. They’re getting on a boat and aren’t talking to each other.
~ What is this, the first episode of Survivor?
~ They’re playing beach volleyball with Becca now. This feels like a consolation date, might as well just give them a $50 gift card and send them home.
~ Wills tells her his parents will be celebrating their 50th anniversary next year.
~ Jason and Becca have a chat where Becca doesn’t really talk, just accepts compliments.
~ Tarzan asks her if he is where the other guys are, since they’ve had more time with her.
~ He’s finally putting the pieces together and realizing the only 1-on-1 date he had was after Becca had a rough day and needed someone to vent to.
~ Becca is taking this opportunity to send him home. Or in this case, leave him on the beach.
~ Oh my Lord, Leo lasted longer than I thought he would!
~ I mean, I personally wouldn’t mind getting left on a beach…
~ The person who finishes in 6th place on this show never had a real shot at winning, it’s just they didn’t do anything wrong to get sent home sooner.
~ It’s no man’s land. Or in this case, no woman’s land.
~ Becca is now at an ominous dinner with Wills and Jason. There wouldn’t have been a spot at this table for Tarzan, anyway. The camera shot would be tricky with four people at a round table.
~ Another great outfit choice for Becs.
~ Becca sees Jason as a risk because he’s not as vocal as others about how he’s feeling.
~ “I have no doubt that I love Becca.” – Wills
~ Yet he’s only ever said to her that he’s “falling in love”. Becca doesn’t take that as meaning the same thing, Wills!
~ She’s giving Jason the rose. Wills is going home.
~ How can she send Wills home, I’m actually heartbroken.
~ My heart is actually broken right now.
~ Wills brought a lot to this show – customized clothes et al.
~ “I wanted to be there with you.” – Becca
~ Wills goes home in disbelief.
~ On that note, good night.
~ Side note: Next week is hometowns.
~ Next week, we meet the families…
~ But we won’t meet Wills’ family, which is heartbreaking.
~ Also, Tia makes a return with some news….clearly about Colton, obviously.
See you next week!
What stuck out to you in this episode? Tell us below, or forever hold your peace.