So Easy For You

I used to stare at the street light
instead of falling asleep
there was just something about it
something so thoughtful and selfless
to lead the way when all was dark
it drew me in
until I was old enough to get out
from behind this side of the window
and walk beneath it
on empty streets
with an endless supply of fresh air
just for me
it’s what I secretly wanted
to be left alone for a little bit
without the pressure of reaching out
without the guilt of replying too late
just silence
and it’s funny because all I ever wanted
was to be in on the joke
to laugh when others laughed
to do things when others did things
I had that
but the effort to maintain it
made me feel like I was letting someone down
so I backed off
but the empty streets quickly filled up
with other breath takers waiting to steal mine
and I would let them
because I can’t help but help
I can’t resist giving a nudge in the right direction
but it’s a lonely feeling
when reciprocation comes knocking
and I can’t even dress for the occasion
I don’t even see the point
the feeling of having done anything special escapes me
like a light when the power goes out
as if nothing was there at all
so I pray for the things I want
but when the blessing arrives at my doorstep
I become paralyzed by something I can’t explain
I close the door and leave it there
a great metaphor for everyone
a great disappointment for me
and the magic disappears for a few days
the urge to become dissipates
and it’s back to staring at the street light
from this side of the window
where the fresh air is filtered by a screen
and the only emptiness is within
while on the other side of the moon
there is a life that can’t understand
the need to replace a bulb
that has spent all of it’s energy
making sure everyone else finds their way
it’s just so easy for you
to shut the blinds and carry on about your day
doing the things you think everyone is doing
it’s just so easy for you
to say yes to everything
just like I did before everything turned into a dirty word
before everything became a referendum
a plea to the jury
with proof in my hand and doubt in my heart
it’s just so easy for you
to write your little words on a rainbow
and follow them to the end
it’s just so easy for you
to do what you want to do
it’s just so easy for you
it’s just so easy
it’s just
it’s just me
but somehow I know
it’s you too.