Pizza Leftovers

I think I’m getting sick. No wait, I think I have allergies. No, that can’t be it. I’ve never had allergies. I must be getting sick. But I’ve gone to sleep early the last two nights. Sleep doesn’t make you sick. I must have allergies. What if I went to sleep early becauseย I was getting sick? Oh no. I must be getting sick, with a side of aller-veggies.

There. At least I can be healthy and sick.

What am I even saying?

Hi. Paul here. You there. Don’t mind me, I’m just going to hop, skip, and sniffle my way through this blog post.

Let’s ignore that “aller-veggies” hybrid that I created. I don’t know what it means. Actually, it would mean I’m allergic to veggies, so I’m not really eating healthy while being sick, at all.

For the record, I’m not allergic to vegetables. Confused yet? I sure yam.

YAM BACKWARDS IS MAY.

I must be getting sick. I only write loopy blog posts like this when I’m sick.

Or I just have allergies and am always this loopy. I can’t tell. You can’t tell. We all scream for ice cream. Yay!

I can always tell when I haven’t written a blog post in awhile. And no, it’s not because there aren’t comments from people telling me they love me and my blog, when I check my notifications.

Hey, your words. Not mine. I’m not bragging. You said it, not me.

I can feel it internally, that I haven’t written something and it bothers me. That being said, my last post was on Monday and I’m making it seem like three days is a long time.

I feel comfortable saying all this because none of you would get mad at someone who is getting sick. If I had allergies, you would’ve clicked away by now.

I’m using this sick excuse when it benefits me.

Do other bloggers feel this way? Do you feel something building inside of you when you haven’t written something in ___ amount of days?

And by “building inside of you” I’m vaguely referencing the Magic School Bus episode where they’re at a bakery and get baked with a cake and are eaten, and end up in someone’s stomach.

If you somehow knew I was vaguely referencing that before I told you I was, we should probably get married.

Sometimes I wish I could be the kind of person who sits down and writes a bunch of blog posts at one time, and schedule them for the future. That would be so much easier.

But I can never convince myself to do that. I have a hard enough time convincing myself to write one blog post, believe it or not.

There is always a desire to write, but there is always a desire to put it off and do it later. I tell myself that a blog post isn’t ready to come out yet, even though it’s been on my mind for two months.

I’ll find a way to avoid writing certain posts because I know that I’ll have to be on my self-proclaimed “A game” to write them, and there are times when I can’t muster up the energy to deliver a blog post I’d be proud of.

It’s a constant push and pull inside of me. I want to say all this stuff, but never right now.

There are a bunch of notes on my phone and drafts on my computer, that have one or two short sentences in them. They are all ideas I once had for blog posts, that I felt were good enough to not forget. Hence, I wrote them down.

Now, most of them don’t even make sense to me.

One of them says, “There is more. Don’t be satisfied.”

Am I writing fortune cookies and didn’t know it? How sick am I? How bad are my alleged allergies? Why did I write that down?

No idea.

Here’s one idea in a draft that I do remember.

“How do we go from GI Joe the hero
To a bunch of regular Joes on IG”

I’ve been trying to put that in a poem, or include it in a caption, since August 23, 2017.

I think I wanted to put it in a really in-your-face kind of rap poem, but could never get in the right headspace for it.

I just thought that it was a clever line that really pokes a bread stick at our generation. Tell me it’s not a clever line. Now that I’ve revealed it, I probably can’t use it for anything. It would be like stealing flowers from my neighbour’s yard and planting them in my yard.

That analogy makes sense, don’t question it.

Hmm maybe I will use that GI Joe line someday. We’ll see.

Fun Fact: It took me about two years to realize that “IG” stood for “Instagram.”

Abbreviations have never been my friend, ever since I was in Grade 9 and a girl messaged me on MSN: “whtchu hv 4 hmwk”.

I didn’t reply to her, so half an hour later she asked if I was still there.

In reality, I had been staring at her message for a long time trying to figure out what in the world it meant. And I know what you’re thinking. “Paul, it’s so obvious!” Well I didn’t know!

You have to educate before you can expect!

God, I love that quote. Made it myself.

That was a different time. I had braces.

Without me asking what her jumbled abbreviation meant, she asked again in normal English.

Ohhhhhhhh, what do I have for homework?! Why didn’t you just type it out properly the first time? Are there letters missing from your keyboard?

Personally, it takes me longer to type out words with missing letters, than it does to write a complete sentence.

There are exceptions, of course. I’ll type out “btw”, which stands for “Bring The Wings”, as you all know.

No one has brought me wings, yet.

But the silly shortcut of turning the word “homework” into “hmwk” just rubs me the wrong way.

If you were to take the vowels out of my name, you’d just have “pl.” They wouldn’t even capitalize the P.

But we all know that “pl” stands for Pizza Leftovers, so I guess I’d be okay with it.

What would your name be if you took out the vowels, and what would it stand for? Play along at home/in theย comments section.

I think about a lot of weird things every time I may or may not have allergies.

For instance, remember when January felt like it was 70 days long? Now we’re in May, and pretty soon the year will be half over. I don’t think any of us have realized that next year is going to be 2019.

TWO THOUSAND AND NINETEEN.

AND THEN IT GETS WORSE.

THEN, IT’LL BE 2020 AND WE’LL HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THE “2020 VISION” CAPTIONS FROM PEOPLE WEARING 2020 GLASSES ON NEW YEAR’S EVE.

I’m already dreading it. Please come up with something more clever than that. For my sake. Just my sake.

I still kinda sorta remember the first day back to school after Christmas break in Grade 3. I only kinda sorta remember it because the French teacher came in, wrote the date down, and we were all stumped by the year 2000.

We had been perfectly trained to say 1999 en Francais. But 2000? N’est pas de knowledge.

We’re all getting old. It’s not fair. Why can’t life be like Snakes & Ladders? You climb the ladder to an age 15 years in the future, but run into a snake and it’s back to age 4.

How fun would that be?

You go from being the CEO of a large corporation, to being the CEO of a sandbox. Life is so linear. This would completely throw it off. There would be no stability. It would be chaos. Your spouse could be in diapers tomorrow, and not the adult kind either.

Yeah, okay, this Snakes & Ladders in real life thing was a bad idea.

But I might be getting sick, so cut me some slack.

Or maybe I have All of the Ergies. I don’t know.

Thanks for reading.

(Not) Yours,

Pizza Leftovers

About Paul

I think of my blog as an all-you-can-read buffet. There's something for everyone and complimentary mints at the door as you leave.
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39 Responses to Pizza Leftovers

  1. Haha oh man, Paul! First, you do sometimes write loopy posts so don’t blame it on this phantom sickness/allergies. But now that you mention it, I’ve been hit too! Maybe its a Toronto thing? We should poll Torontonians.

    Also: the old Magic School Bus was the best there ever was! None of this new version! Its an insult to Ms Frizzle and everything she stands for!!

    And I feel off when I don’t post for a while too. I didn’t think I’d be able to post for a few days (life is craycray sometimes) but while downtown at the library last night, I used my last 10 minutes to publish something. More so just to say I had a post for that day. I hate posting from my phone so I must have *really* needed to write something.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Paul says:

      Maybe it is a Torontonian thing! Maybe our bodies don’t know how to react to such a sudden change in temperature and it’s throwing us off like a magnet throwing off stuff.

      Magic School Bus was awesome! I don’t know why they don’t just run reruns of the episodes we grew up with. We don’t need new ones. None of them will ever be iconic anyway.

      On your phone! You must’ve really been feeling the need to post. I’ve yet to make a post from my phone. I’ve been meaning to try, but again, I’ll do it later.

      Like

      • Haha crazy Toronto weather!

        And I totally agree with the Magic School Bus. Nothing new needed.

        And yeah! Gah its so frustrating to post from my phone. But a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Squid says:

    This was so loopy and great ๐Ÿ˜†
    Okaaayyy… Are we counting y as a vowel? I am, cause otherwise not much changes in my name, haha. Sdn = Superficial Donut Naming OR Sqd = Sad Q-tips Dancing
    To get in the true mood of this comment, listen to Heads/tails by Hotspur… It came on right as I clicked “comment.”
    I can’t believe you were in school in 2000… I wasn’t born till July 2000! Lololol that just totally threw me off…
    “Personally, it takes me longer to type out words with missing letters, than it does to write a complete sentence.” SAME
    Alright, this has gone on long enough… BUT WAIT I HAVE A QUESTION THAT MUST BE ANSWERED
    What province (territory? Idk how this works) do you live in? I was trying to point to you directionally a couple days ago (I can’t remember the context for the life of me ๐Ÿ˜„), and I realized you either live north or northwest of FL. So this is a super important question that will totally be relevant again, haha. Thanks!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      Haha I was starting high school when you were 5 years old! How’s that for mind blowing?
      Lol Canada has 10 provinces and 3 territories, I’m in the province of Ontario.
      Also, Sad Q-Tips Dancing is a solid abbreviation.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Squid says:

    *pfoofsh* (I spent way too long trying to get that to look/sound right and I’m still not satisfied…)
    Aha, Ontario! See, I always get confused on the provinces/territories thing because we had a geography song for school that had at the end, “these are the provinces and terr.i.tories of Caaaaanaaadaaaa” and it never told us which were which ๐Ÿ˜„
    On a related note, Florida gets *so many* Canadian snowbirds, and most are from Ontario. Thoughts?
    *bows* I hope to use SQD as a band name someday. People will think it’s just my name stylized, BUT THAT’S NOT IT AH TALL. (I wrote it that way to emphasize the British accent I said it in in my head, but I’m not sure it came across right… Hmmm)

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      Haha the territories are Northwest Territories, Nunavut, and Yukon and on the map, they are the three that are up North.
      Oh yeah, it’s a well known fact that when people retire, a lot of them move to Florida. It’s also the place people go to for vacation in the winter.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Swosti Das says:

    I came agree more with this post! So true and convincing.
    Especially loved that line ‘ Always a desire to write and always a desire to put it off’ , happens with most of us. I guess!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Becky Turner says:

    This post went all kinds of ways haha. I have allergies and I hate them and I feel like I’m dying. I’m allergic to the weather (like if it changes too quickly) and pollen. We had a long and gross winter in New England, so everything is blooming now and it SUCKS. So for your sake, I hope you don’t have allergies.

    I’m the person that schedules out posts, because I want to stay somewhat consistent but know I’m going to be busy during the week. I’ve also been creating little editorial calendars in Google sheets so plan out my posts. It makes it seem like I’m taking my blog too serious, but it’s mostly to make sure I’m staying on track.

    To answer your question about removing the vowels from my name, it would be: BCKY or BCK, if you consider Y to be a vowel. I’m too tired and allergy-logged to think of what they would stand for. Hopefully something cool.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      See the weather has changed really quickly here too and I’m hoping it’s not that. But I didn’t feel worse today than I did yesterday, I just feel the same. Ughhhh.

      I’m jealous of all that organization. When I first started blogging I thought I’d write all my posts in Microsoft Word and then paste them over. That idea went out the window on Post #1.

      I got it: Baseball & Costco Kookies. We’ll just look the other way on the K for Kookies.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Kara's Kloud says:

    I hope your allergy medicine isn’t making you go crazy hahaha, but I really do get it! When I have allergies, I turn into a lunatic. Sometimes I don’t even remember what I did the day prior because I keep on taking medicine until I can successfully breath through one nostril for one full minute until it closes back up. Don’t tell my doctor that…

    Also, I completely understood you when you asked if other bloggers feel like they have something building inside them when they don’t write something. I try to write one post a week, but sometimes, it just doesn’t happen. Take this week for example. I’m SO exhausted from finishing school that I can’t find it in me to write a blog post. It’s weird because I love writing, but when I get down and try to write something, I feel so tired. I’m cutting myself some slack this week because I want to be lazy, but I need to get back on track! I’ll have something ready for next week I’m sure, or at least I hope so ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      Ha I don’t have allergy medicine! I’m not even sure I have allergies. I’m with you on the whole breathing through one nostril for a minute thing. That would be nice. I also want to stop sneezing.

      Oh yeah, the end of school year fatigue is real. It’s good to give yourself a week off from writing, or looking at words at all. I think your comment just made me realizing that writing a blog post actually takes a lot of energy, even though all we’re doing is sitting here hitting the keyboard. Sometimes I write one sentence and am like NOPE not happening, I’m too tired lol

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Ariel Lynn says:

    My computer decided to be difficult just as I hit “post comment.” I’m sorry if this pops up twice!

    If you took the vowels out of my name, you’d get “rl,” which stands for “real loud.” So, instead of my name, you’d get an accurate description of me. LOL

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Rea says:

    My name would be rgn which would obviously stand for Rambunctious Greek Noodles. Don’t ask why.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Rea says:

      I also find it annoying when people use ridiculous abbreviations. Like srsly, sys, wbu (grammatically, shouldn’t it be wby?), and others I can’t think of at the moment. But I do use some a deviations like ttyl and thx. Sometimes my friend and I would play this game where we would see an abreviation somewhere and we’d make up meanings for it. On #2 pencils there are the letters HB so we came up with a list for that abreviation. We also did it to our initials, and any other letter abbreviations we saw in the room.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Paul says:

        The ones like ttyl, brb, g2g, and lol are fine in my book. It’s the strange ones like you listed. My current pet peeve is “hmu” which took me forever to realize meant “Hit me up”. Can’t people just say “message me”?

        Liked by 2 people

      • Rea says:

        Greek noodles are so rambunctious it’s hard to keep them on your fork because they move so much and get so wild.

        I’ve never seen “hmu”. At least, I don’t remember ever seeing it, let alone knew what it meant. I didn’t know what “tbt” meant until a few seconds ago. I didn’t know what “smh” meant until a couple weeks ago. There should be a dictionary or a class people can take so we can learn all these abbreviations XD

        Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      I like it! Greek noodles are meant to be rambunctious! I think.

      Liked by 3 people

  9. Dutch Lion says:

    Wow, excellent! Love you, love the show. Dude, in 2000 I was a 25 year old getting married to my beautiful wife. You were in 3rd grade. Hmmmm. That was 15 pounds ago for me, likely more for you.

    I too hate it when people abbreviate and then they think I’M the bad guy because I don’t get their laziness. Take Twitter…..140 character limit? What kind of people have we become? “Oh no, my attention span is so short that I can’t read more than 140 spac………#ADHD” (Oh wait, I can’t fit the hashtag so what should I cut out? I’ll just cut out the “es” on spaces. Yeah, people will get that.)

    I have big time allergies by the way and funny stuff, today I felt like I was getting sick. As it turned out, I was just overly warm from watching the Sox lose while wearing three layers of Sox gear in my own basement and then walking, that’s right, walking up one flight of stairs for dinner that my wife picked up. How lazy am I? I was so hot I thought I was getting a fever. Spoiler alert….my wife didn’t think I was “so hot”. I took off two layers and got my core temp back down.

    I too have about 35 stories in my Hopper. I call my drafts my “hopper”. Why? Couldn’t say. I just like the term. Anyway, my hopper has some really awesome material in there but for some reason I haven’t finished the post or I want to be on my “A game” to complete it. I hear you buddy. Problem is, I’m always trying to achieve something really great so I never finish. Two years ago I had this awesome “Turn Back the Clock Three Decades to the 1986 Chicago Bears” piece. But I never finished it in 2016 and it became 31 years ago…and now 32 years ago. Now what? Should I wait 8 more years so that I can cleverly call it “Turn Back the Clock Four Decades”? For now it sits in the Hopper.

    Thanks for letting me write all over your page.

    Yours truly (fakely….or flaky),
    Reid K. W.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      Last night I felt boiling hot just sitting on the couch in shorts and a t-shirt. Haha what’s wrong with us? Fortunately, I wasn’t getting sick and I don’t even think I have allergies because I’m back to normal now – whatever normal is.

      It’s so hard finishing drafts. Because every time I go in there I have to dust them off and then I don’t want anything to do with them. It’s easier just to start from scratch and finish it an hour later. I feel your pain. You can wait 3 more years and call it “Turn Back the Clock Three and a Half Decades”?

      Also, for what it’s worth I think 3rd grade was about 100 pounds ago for me. Maybe. I have no clue how much I weighed back then anyway lol

      Liked by 1 person

      • Dutch Lion says:

        LOL! Yeah, writing…..right? Just kidding. I was talking to a student here at school today who had an AP English test. He was lamenting that he had to write for 2 or 3 hours straight! He’s like, who likes that? I said, “I do. I love it! I’m a writer.” Of course, the big difference is he was forced to write something about women’s rights and something else he didn’t like. I said, “Yes, that is a big difference. When you can write about sports or whatever you like, it makes all the difference in the world.”

        “Turn Back the Clock to “Whenever”….” is probably fine. It’s just that it took away from my cool 3 decades thing. I should probably take your advice and just go with “Three and a Half Decades” or whatever.

        Thanks!

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Chichi says:

    Weird… I like it.
    Hope you’re feeling better (although I will admit that I like these ‘sick Paul’ posts! ๐Ÿ˜€

    My name without vowels would be Chnyr.
    That’s just awkward.
    Almost as awkward as I am.

    Anyway, hope you’re better! ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Ely says:

    Lmfao!! Your loopy posts are so great I almost want you stay be sick all the time? Ok that didn’t work out. Can you be loopy without being sick? That would just make you drunk. But you don’t drink so there’s another problem! Actually. You can get loopy by drinking some night time cough medicine and then blogging while under the influence of over the counter syrups! No? Ok fine. Lol. Such a fun post.
    Also I wanna play!
    My name without vowels would be
    LZBTH. And I spent WAY too much time trying to find something witty for those letters! I’m frustrated now lol. Ugh. Literally. I got nothing for that!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Lazy Zebras Breathe Too Heavily. Done hahahaha
      Yes! I can probably write loopy posts without being under the influence seeing as how the day after I wrote this post, I was perfectly fine! Tell me more about these syrups though…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ely says:

        ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ this is awkward because yesterday I was told I’m breathing too heavily. It seems- now that I’ve began to analyze my breathing patterns- that I breathe in rythym with my thoughts. Like I have to remember to tell myself
        To breathe because if I’m typing or reading or watching something I literally am holding my breathe for some odd reason. Now if I just painted stripes on myself and sat on my couch doing nothing….. lol! Geniussss!
        Anywho though- cough syrups like Benadryl for allergies will make you loopy! Lol.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Paul says:

        LOL what are the odds of this?? Same wavelength I’m telling you! I feel like if you have a to-do list you should put “Breathe” as every 3rd or 4th task lol. Mmm Benadryl, will Maple Syrup be a good substitute? I think it would be.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ely says:

        LOL!!! Adding “breathe ” as every 3rd or 4th task on a to-do list that’s it
        I’ve lost it
        Laughing !!!

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Jad says:

    You crack me up!!…and not like an egg

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Myka says:

    Allergie/Sick Paul is comical. So, what I’m saying is, he’s a lot like regular Paul. Everything about this was great – it was like a conversation, except you didn’t hear any of my witty banter back at ya. And I’m too lazy right now (it’s Sunday, cut me some slack) to go back & add my banter to every line that made me giggle. I will say this: “I want to say all this stuff, but never right now.” This. THIS is me. I also have notes in my phone & drafts on my blog with little notes that (at one time) sparked a great idea. Like you, some I can remember & some I have completely forgotten. Anyway, It is now July – not May – and I agree; Life is passing us by way too fast. I have been thinking a lot about it lately, actually, and it’s making me incredibly …sad. I’ll stop here & save it for my own blog. But, I miss you & I’m sorry I’m so far behind. .xo.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      Woahh welcome back! Sick Paul is one of my favourite versions of me because it’s Regular Paul turned up to 100 lol. Time is moving way too fast, it makes me sad too. Like how are we ever supposed to be happy with the now, if tomorrow always arrives faster than ever.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Myka says:

    PS! My name would be “Myk” or “MK” – Uhh… ideas?

    Liked by 1 person

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