The Chills Beneath This Sweater

Rocks are heavy
they can weigh you down, they can break scissors
when covered with a sheet, they are powerless
doesn’t that explain so much?

When the chill comes knocking at my spine
I don’t know what appears in my mind first
it’s everything all at once
it’s the car ride through the storm
watching the wipers unable to keep up
it’s the slippery floors, it’s the big puddle
it’s the small room, it’s my room
it’s the first meal and the first hello
it’s the thing you should be writing down
it’s the people you see, it’s the laughs you share
it’s you, it’s only you
and sometimes it feels like a dream
and sometimes it feels like a myth
and sometimes it feels like it never happened at all
that’s what hurts
but there’s a sweater, right
and it’s proof, right
you wear it now the same way you did then
hood up, face down, tears rolling before the credits
that’s just the way it is
and when you smell something similar, you turn around
it must be right behind you
it must be sneaking up on you
it must be with you, still
but it’s not there, you just wanted it to be
just like everything else you want
you want to be picked up and dropped off
right in the middle, the very centre, the focal point of it all
because you are the revolving door
but you can spin, and spin, and spin
and never go in the same direction
you want to know why
you want to know the truth
you want to know the deep, dark, ugly truth
well, the truth has expired
and you can sit there and be angry about it
and you can sit there and stare at the sky and wonder why
and you can sit there and do nothing at all
but at the end of the day, when the lights go out and your brain turns on
you are sitting there under a sheet and you are powerless
now tell me, doesn’t that explain so much?

About Paul

I think of my blog as an all-you-can-read buffet. There's something for everyone and complimentary mints at the door as you leave.
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13 Responses to The Chills Beneath This Sweater

  1. Barb Knowles says:

    This poem is sad and yearning at the same time. Yearning for power? To not be powerless? I read it three times to get the most out of it. I could read it over and over again.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Thanks Barb! I had a couple of specific things in mind while writing this poem. It’s quite complex and the entire thing isn’t exactly how it appears to be. I do enjoy when you analyze my poems though. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Ely says:

    First of all. Why am I not getting a heads up DM anymore? I feel a little betrayed. I’m like the 48th person to like this and I’m not comfortable with not getting a notification! Your post aren’t popping up I have to go search for them by going to your site! I’m a busy woman Paul I need notifications damn it lol 😂 you know how I feel about your poetry. A force to be reckoned with. And quite frankly, I’m jealous I can’t write like this and also- just the very fact that you’re a MAN and can write like this leaves me speechless. So there. You’ve succeeded in leaving the loudest most obnoxious ranting idiot in the world, speechless.
    Good day sir.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Because even though you tell me I’m not bothering you by sending you a heads up, I’ll convince myself that I am! I’m sorry. I’ll try to get over it haha. That being said there is a brand new 50 Thoughts on my blog today. Read it! But only when you have time. Or not at all. Your choice, really. Haha. Thanks for appreciating my poetry! I sometimes feel like I’m carrying a torch on here for all of Man-kind since the blogging world is like 96% female. Im secretly jealous that people with fashion and beauty blogs get hundreds of likes for writing about what they put on their face and I’m over here making people laugh and most of the people who like my stuff have never said a word to me. I’m ranting.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ely says:

        I completely agree with you. I’m telling you- these commercial mommy bloggers who rate toys and products hog ALL OF THE ATTENTION!!! In the meantime, we are here handing out tiny pieces of our souls for free!!!! For the sake of a new friend across the globe or a really inspiring comment! Someone recently told me I should “post more pictures”. Of whhhaatttt??? A selfie while I’m locked up in my closet crying about undone laundry??! I’m writing about my experiences here, not about silk cardigans for fuck sake!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Paul says:

        LOL I am very anti-pictures unless I’ve gone on a trip or it’s a Chef Paulo creation. I’m not blogging so people can look at my pictures and leave, I’d rather them read what I have to say! Though for the first two years of my blog I’d include a photo from Google and then I read a blog where the person was being sued for using Google images on their blog or something and I got scared and deleted all pictures. Let’s keep fighting the good fight Ely!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ely says:

        Y to the ESSSS!! Let’s!!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ely says:

        Also yes I saw the 50 thoughts post from afar and that’s what led me to say OH NO HE DIDNT THOSE ARE MY FAVE AND I WAS NOT AWARE!!! How dare he!! lol 😂 I feel like those posts are ONLY MINES! Lmfao!!!! such a child… anyways. Please notify me!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Paul says:

        Haha “from afar”. It’s like you spotted it from the other side of a parking lot lol. I will be sure to notify you of all (most) posts going forward!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ely says:

        Lol! Well no pressure! I’ll try to keeep up as well!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Changes? The song by Tupac came to my mind while reading this one. Lol weird with of…I’m not even sure.

    Liked by 1 person

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