1. It’s two days until Christmas and I still haven’t seen Home Alone or Mrs. Doubtfire yet this holiday season.
2. Shovelling snow is a workout. Everyone agree? Good.
3. Those of you who watch The Bachelor/ette will be happy to know that I’ll be doing my viewing notes for each episode, once again, when the new season starts on New Years. You’re welcome.
4. WordPress put out a Top 10 list the other day on Discover, ranking the 10 most popular featured posts of 2017. I came in at #4 on the list with my post, Reflecting on Four Years of Blogging. I’m still speechless about it.
5. I’ve been to a movie theatre, twice, in the last four months. I think I’m sick.
5.5 For context, I hadn’t been to a movie theatre since 2012.
6. A small popcorn and medium drink should not be $12. Who can I talk to about this? I could’ve ordered a large pizza and snuck it in the theatre, in my mouth.
7. The hunt for new songs to listen to is frustrating.
8. I like the feeling of cold water going down my throat and into my stomach.
9. I’ve never had a milkshake before.
10. I’m not interested in drinks for leisure. I’ll drink water throughout the day and milk with most meals, but other than that, drinks don’t interest me.
11. If someone just found my blog and read all 531 posts, what would they think of me?
12. The aliens are coming.
13. For years, I felt the WWE was wasting Cody Rhodes’s talent. Now that he’s out, I’m glad he’s doing well.
14. Is season 3 of Serial ever coming out? Same goes for season 2 of Making a Murderer. Let’s go, already.
15. I’m interested in all things true crime right now. Last week I finished watching a documentary series about the Zodiac killer. Recently started the series about the Unabomber on Netflix.
16. When they were deciding the order of the alphabet, I wonder if there were arguments over the placing of certain letters. Like, did anyone want a sequence of letters to spell out a word?
16.5 A B C D E F G H U R L I J K M P O N Y Q S T V W X Z
17. I don’t really know the official lyrics to the song about the 12 Days of Christmas. However, whenever it gets to the third day of Christmas, I say, “Three blind mice”. And when it gets to, “And a partridge in a pear tree”, I say, “And a cartridge in a printer.” I’ve ruined it forever. FOREVER.
18. Does anyone remember a TV show called, The Mole? It was a reality game show, hosted by Anderson Cooper and then Ahmad Rashad. I won’t explain the premise except for the fact that it was fantastic.
19. I feel like I’ve accomplished a lot with this blog, but nowhere near enough.
20. Who’s the first person you tell when you get good news? Do you have a first person to tell?
21. At this point, I just need the Blue Jays to sign a minor league pitcher and say he’s invited to Spring Training and I’ll be content for a week.
22. Instead of, “Walking around the Christmas tree”, shouldn’t it be, “Walking halfway around the Christmas tree”? They’re normally by a wall. Hello? We’re not walking all the way around them.
23. This whole “water isn’t wet” thing is starting to bother me. Does that mean fire isn’t hot?
24. Technology has passed me by. I just want to fill up my cup with coke, why do I have to press a million buttons on a screen? Are they trying to get my fingerprints?
25. The Pizza Hut near my house recently closed. I’m trying to be strong.
26. Do kids these days put off doing their homework by playing games on websites that require them to download the latest version of Flash to continue, or is that just my generation?
27. Way too many people were talking about the Winter Solstice as if they had been waiting for it since May. I didn’t notice any difference in the day.
28. I haven’t sucked on a mini candy cane in years. I probably will in a few days.
29. Whipped cream is the worst. It has the consistency of rain. It leaves a terrible before, during, and after taste. It’s only redeeming quality is NOTHING. It is the worst.
30. I’m a little microwave, short and stout. Here is my plate, watch it spin about.
30.5 Bam. Just wrote a song.
31. I have an irrational fear that while I’m heating something up in the microwave, the door will burst open and the plate will launch itself at me.
32. You cannot send that many nudges.
33. I remember sitting in a Grade 11 english classroom and watching someone realize for the first time that “cannot” is one word. It was like they had discovered electricity.
33.5 I also remember someone pronouncing “Arkansas” as “Are-Kansas”. I’m still shuddering.
34. It takes a fraction of a second to write or read one word. But if you put a bunch of them together, it could take hours. That’s gotta be a metaphor for something, right?
35. I’ve never witnessed an uncompetitive game of musical chairs in my life. I don’t think such a thing exists.
36. The story of Humpty Dumpty is so tragic. If only they took him to a hospital instead of treating him like a jigsaw puzzle.
37. Cupcakes are the personal pan pizza of cakes.
38. Whenever someone says, “I don’t like your tone”, they normally use a tone that no one likes.
39. I’m telling you, the day will come where we’re all going to reject social media and abbreviations for words and everything else. It’s coming.
40. The sentence, “It’s the thought that counts” has never been uttered when someone is happy with the gift they received. Never.
41. I’m ready for the NHL playoffs to start. Let’s skip the next four months and just get to it.
42. Apple butter barbecue sauce is the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.
43. I am so tired.
44. At one point in our lives we all put our hands together to make sure they’re both the same size, right?
45. I’ve realized that I follow a lot of new bloggers because I read their first post and see so much potential in them, but I rarely tell them that because as a new blogger, I would’ve been freaked out by a comment like that. Then again, a lot of them disappear after their first post and I feel a bit guilty about it because I didn’t say anything. It’s a fine line between anointing someone “the next best blogger” and scaring them off with too many exclamation marks as you try and compliment them.
46. The earlier seasons of The Walking Dead had a raw feel to them. Their episodes felt like they were intruding on the television landscape and there was a cool, rebellious feel to it. Now, their episodes just “fit in” with everything else.
47. I read something today that said elephants think humans are cute the same way humans think puppies are cute.
48. Typing without looking at the keyboard is a skill I didn’t acquire until after I graduated from university.
48.5 In kindergarten, we’d play a computer game at school called “Mario Teaches Typing”. The only letters I was required to press were “Z”, “X”, and sometimes “C”. Mario taught me nothing.
49. I need a friend who I can talk to about wrestling.
50. Has anyone ever thought to create a one-hour TV show which focusses on adults who received coal in their stocking when they were a kid? It could be like a, “Where Are They Know?” feature.