1. It’s two days until Christmas and I still haven’t seen Home Alone or Mrs. Doubtfire yet this holiday season.
2. Shovelling snow is a workout. Everyone agree? Good.
3. Those of you who watch The Bachelor/ette will be happy to know that I’ll be doing my viewing notes for each episode, once again, when the new season starts on New Years. You’re welcome.
4. WordPress put out a Top 10 list the other day on Discover, ranking the 10 most popular featured posts of 2017. I came in at #4 on the list with my post, Reflecting on Four Years of Blogging. I’m still speechless about it.
5. I’ve been to a movie theatre, twice, in the last four months. I think I’m sick.
5.5 For context, I hadn’t been to a movie theatre since 2012.
6. A small popcorn and medium drink should not be $12. Who can I talk to about this? I could’ve ordered a large pizza and snuck it in the theatre, in my mouth.
7. The hunt for new songs to listen to is frustrating.
8. I like the feeling of cold water going down my throat and into my stomach.
9. I’ve never had a milkshake before.
10. I’m not interested in drinks for leisure. I’ll drink water throughout the day and milk with most meals, but other than that, drinks don’t interest me.
11. If someone just found my blog and read all 531 posts, what would they think of me?
12. The aliens are coming.
13. For years, I felt the WWE was wasting Cody Rhodes’s talent. Now that he’s out, I’m glad he’s doing well.
14. Is season 3 of Serial ever coming out? Same goes for season 2 of Making a Murderer. Let’s go, already.
15. I’m interested in all things true crime right now. Last week I finished watching a documentary series about the Zodiac killer. Recently started the series about the Unabomber on Netflix.
16. When they were deciding the order of the alphabet, I wonder if there were arguments over the placing of certain letters. Like, did anyone want a sequence of letters to spell out a word?
16.5 A B C D E F G H U R L I J K M P O N Y Q S T V W X Z
17. I don’t really know the official lyrics to the song about the 12 Days of Christmas. However, whenever it gets to the third day of Christmas, I say, “Three blind mice”. And when it gets to, “And a partridge in a pear tree”, I say, “And a cartridge in a printer.” I’ve ruined it forever. FOREVER.
18. Does anyone remember a TV show called, The Mole? It was a reality game show, hosted by Anderson Cooper and then Ahmad Rashad. I won’t explain the premise except for the fact that it was fantastic.
19. I feel like I’ve accomplished a lot with this blog, but nowhere near enough.
20. Who’s the first person you tell when you get good news? Do you have a first person to tell?
21. At this point, I just need the Blue Jays to sign a minor league pitcher and say he’s invited to Spring Training and I’ll be content for a week.
22. Instead of, “Walking around the Christmas tree”, shouldn’t it be, “Walking halfway around the Christmas tree”? They’re normally by a wall. Hello? We’re not walking all the way around them.
23. This whole “water isn’t wet” thing is starting to bother me. Does that mean fire isn’t hot?
24. Technology has passed me by. I just want to fill up my cup with coke, why do I have to press a million buttons on a screen? Are they trying to get my fingerprints?
25. The Pizza Hut near my house recently closed. I’m trying to be strong.
26. Do kids these days put off doing their homework by playing games on websites that require them to download the latest version of Flash to continue, or is that just my generation?
27. Way too many people were talking about the Winter Solstice as if they had been waiting for it since May. I didn’t notice any difference in the day.
28. I haven’t sucked on a mini candy cane in years. I probably will in a few days.
29. Whipped cream is the worst. It has the consistency of rain. It leaves a terrible before, during, and after taste. It’s only redeeming quality is NOTHING. It is the worst.
30. I’m a little microwave, short and stout. Here is my plate, watch it spin about.
30.5 Bam. Just wrote a song.
31. I have an irrational fear that while I’m heating something up in the microwave, the door will burst open and the plate will launch itself at me.
32. You cannot send that many nudges.
33. I remember sitting in a Grade 11 english classroom and watching someone realize for the first time that “cannot” is one word. It was like they had discovered electricity.
33.5 I also remember someone pronouncing “Arkansas” as “Are-Kansas”. I’m still shuddering.
34. It takes a fraction of a second to write or read one word. But if you put a bunch of them together, it could take hours. That’s gotta be a metaphor for something, right?
35. I’ve never witnessed an uncompetitive game of musical chairs in my life. I don’t think such a thing exists.
36. The story of Humpty Dumpty is so tragic. If only they took him to a hospital instead of treating him like a jigsaw puzzle.
37. Cupcakes are the personal pan pizza of cakes.
38. Whenever someone says, “I don’t like your tone”, they normally use a tone that no one likes.
39. I’m telling you, the day will come where we’re all going to reject social media and abbreviations for words and everything else. It’s coming.
40. The sentence, “It’s the thought that counts” has never been uttered when someone is happy with the gift they received. Never.
41. I’m ready for the NHL playoffs to start. Let’s skip the next four months and just get to it.
42. Apple butter barbecue sauce is the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.
43. I am so tired.
44. At one point in our lives we all put our hands together to make sure they’re both the same size, right?
45. I’ve realized that I follow a lot of new bloggers because I read their first post and see so much potential in them, but I rarely tell them that because as a new blogger, I would’ve been freaked out by a comment like that. Then again, a lot of them disappear after their first post and I feel a bit guilty about it because I didn’t say anything. It’s a fine line between anointing someone “the next best blogger” and scaring them off with too many exclamation marks as you try and compliment them.
46. The earlier seasons of The Walking Dead had a raw feel to them. Their episodes felt like they were intruding on the television landscape and there was a cool, rebellious feel to it. Now, their episodes just “fit in” with everything else.
47. I read something today that said elephants think humans are cute the same way humans think puppies are cute.
48. Typing without looking at the keyboard is a skill I didn’t acquire until after I graduated from university.
48.5 In kindergarten, we’d play a computer game at school called “Mario Teaches Typing”. The only letters I was required to press were “Z”, “X”, and sometimes “C”. Mario taught me nothing.
49. I need a friend who I can talk to about wrestling.
50. Has anyone ever thought to create a one-hour TV show which focusses on adults who received coal in their stocking when they were a kid? It could be like a, “Where Are They Know?” feature.
20-24–30-48.5 AND WHATS THIS NO MILKSHAKE LIKE EVER!? Wow. So shocked right now, I like banana myself lol.
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Never been presented with the opportunity to try one. Also, it doesn’t look appealing haha
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What! So strange! I recommend you at least try it. Try it blindfolded so it taste better to you.
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I think I will be trying to become an elephant next year. Lots of milk for you for 2018 and far beyond.
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Haha good luck with that endeavour.
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I will need that. Thanks. haha
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#2 Haha what is this snow you speak of?
#4!!! Congrats!!! I’m not even surprised, man!!
#8 YES THAT FEELING IS AMAZING
#20 My friend Emily is the first non-family person I tell, but whichever family member I run into first in my house is usually the recipient of my happiness.
#36, #37, #38, #40, OH MY GOODNESS I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT
#44 OH YEAH
#50 😂😂😂
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4. Thanks! Honestly, I wasn’t surprised either hahah
It seems like you enjoyed these thoughts, thank you! Happy Holidays to you, your sister, and the rest of the family, Squid!
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I always enjoy these thoughts! I eagerly await each month’s installment. 🙂
Aww, thanks, Paul! Happy holidays to you and Chef Paulo! 😆
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Oh Paul, I love whipped cream. You just have not had it on the right foods. I still haven’t seen Making A Murder, but The Keepers was very good. Apple butter barbecue sauce sounds delicious. I could not get through 1 episode of The Walking Dead, like Game of Thrones, it just never caught my interest.
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See I first had whipped cream when I was working at camp and it was an eating contest where I had to shove my face into a plate of it and dig something out. Then I’ve had it on a few other occasions and still find it gross.
I’ve been meaning to watch The Keepers but the picture for it creeps me out a bit! Yeah, I couldn’t do Game of Thrones either. The 1st episode of The Walking Dead isn’t the best representation of what the show is. That episode is quite dry and too quiet.
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I know absolutely nothing about wrestling but I can talk to you about it, if you want. It will make no sense and you will be utterly confused but at least you’ll be talking about it 😛 Maybe I’ll learn something!
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Oh wow, I really appreciate that offer! I might take you up on it at some point, if I can’t get an actual wrestling fan to be my friend lol
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Haha!!
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30,5 is my personal favorite 😂😂
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Hahah thank you!
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I recommend trying a milkshake. They’re best with whipped cream on top.
Also, I nearly cried when I realised the summer solstice has passed. Summer feels like it hasn’t even started yet, and now the days are getting shorter again? No, thanks.
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A milkshake AND whipped cream on top!? That probably looks nice in a picture but I don’t think I’d like it.
When does summer normally end for you over there?
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Summer officially ends with February, but it can actually end anywhere between March and April, if we’re really lucky.
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Ah ok so it’s basically like our winter except backwards. Is it weird having Christmas in the middle of summer or is everyone just used to it?
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It’s the exact opposite of weird. If the weather is cooler than like 38 degrees I get angry and shake my fist at Mother Nature for depriving us of a proper Christmas. One year I want to experience a white Christmas but I’ll probably cry haha
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Haha we can switch places one Christmas. It’ll be a shock for both of us.
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So many thoughts. And I like most of them. Can’t say all – that would be presumptuous.
The first person I tell good news is my husband. I cannot hide anything from him and I can’t keep secrets from him. And I like that. A lot.
I agree with The Walking Dead and learned something new about Arkansas. Then again – no one ever taught me how to say it. So – thank you. 🙂
Looking for new music is frustrating, yes… I tend to let it come to me.
Your blog is the only one – at present- I regularly read. Thank you and you’re welcome.
About whipped cream. It has to be homemade to be good. (Same with mayonnaise.)
One day, I will borrow this idea of writing down thoughts.
Happy holidays.
Schéin Feierdeeg an e gudde Rutsch. xx
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Thank you for confirming that I can be funny and informative at the same time! I appreciate you reading. Happy holidays!
P.S. Still not sold on the whipped cream
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2. Shoveling is absolutely a workout. My FitBit agrees.
4. It’s hilarious that your post about “Four Years of Blogging” was number 4 on the top ten list & it’s number 4 on your list. Is that just a subliminal message for your readers? 😉
17. Eddie Izzard contends that no one knows the words to the song, save for “Five golden rings.” People will run in from other rooms just to go “FIIIIIVVVVEEE GOOOOOLLLLLDDDDDEEEEENNNNN RIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGS!” If you haven’t seen his stand-up, go watch it now. I’ll wait. 🙂
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4. Haha you cracked the conspiracy. Though I hadn’t realized the part about it being called Reflecting on FOUR… Good job!
17. I had even forgot about Five Golden Rings. I knew Five was memorable, but my mind went blank and then straight to THREE BLIND MICE.
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4. Woohoo! 😀
17. It’s 3 French Hens, but 3 Blind Mice kinda works, I guess. What’s sad is I know everything below 5, apparently. 😀
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How do you wrap 3 french hens in a gift?
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How do you wrap 10 Lords-A-Leapin’ or however many Maids-A-Milkin’? LOL
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I’d put a bow on top and call it a day lol
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Same with the French hens, I suppose. Although, I’d hate to be the one trying to put bows on chickens. Those buggers can be vicious. :-O
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I never thought to compare my hands to each other to see if they are the same size. But now I’m a little scared to do it because what if I find out they are completely different sizes. It might alter my world forever. (Hilarious and thought-provoking post, as usual!)
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You must do it at least once, just to make sure they’re even! And then force others to do it too. Half the fun is the paranoia in thinking one hand is 1 centimetre longer than the other haha. Thanks for reading!
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16.5 is my favorite. Hurl. Pony. Lol.
And I’m not surprised you didn’t come #4 on that list. You rock.
Happy Holidays, Paul!! 🤗🤗
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Happy Paulidays to you!
#PonyHurl2017
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I LOUUUU PAULIDAYS!!
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Also. Number 45. Hahahahhahahahah. I’m still dying. I remember my first subscriber who has no seemed to vanish into thin air. Sigh. She left me a comment like that. Lolol.
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Haha you turned things around and scared her off. I didn’t even reply to the person who left the first comment on my blog. I thought, “HOW DID THIS PERSON FIND ME, IT MUST BE A SET UP.”
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I didn’t scare her off. I’m innocent and sweet and harmless. Like a cloud. With fangs.
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You just described a thunderstorm haha
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That’s me.
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This is by far probably the best blog post I have ever read, it brang me so much joy. I liked the alphabet hurl pony and how elephants think we’re cute (I also read that the other day) Have an amazing new year x x
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Oh wow, thank you! I normally do a post like this once a month just to get all the weird thoughts out lol
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Oh my god! Did my comment get through?! Nope it just gave me an ERROR! Shoot me!!! Ok. First of all- milkshakes have milk in them which you just said you have with most meals. Start small: vanilla milkshake. Make that happen I swear you won’t regret it. Also? Whip cream is GOD. I CANNOT even right now! Also it goes ON TOP of the shake lmfao! Also? Comments keep us all going whether new or veteran bloggers. Maybe your comment could have motivated said quitter to keep pushing! You’ve been a great supporter and friend to me and I almost always want to impress you with my rants HAHAHA so who cares if you scare them away! They were gonna quit anyways. I vote YES for overly motivating comments. And how did you NOT become terrified of my exclamation point usage?! Lol! Also? Let’s stick to blogging and not get to hung up on the whole song writing thing eh? Deal. 🤦🏻♀️🤣🤣 also? I like comparing my feet. Yea. Not a pretty thing for someone to walk in on me doing. Anyways. You know these posts are my fave. They stir my thoughts. so great.
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First off, ahahahahahahahahaha!! I like vanilla ice cream. I like milk. I cannot fathom putting them together. It would be like ice cream puke. Some bloggers never respond to my comments of encouragement so maybe that deflates my ego a bit. Haha your exclamation marks didn’t scare me because I read your blog and thought, “I understand this person, we’ll be friends.” haha. You weren’t digging my little diddy about the microwave plate??? I’m saddened by that. How about, “I’m a little piggy short and stout. Here is my tail, here is my SNOUT.” BAM. Also, I don’t think I’ve ever compared my feet BRB. Ok I looked like I was doing yoga.
Anyways, I’m sick and loopy right now and wanna write stuff but need motivation. Say something to get me to write. Even if it’s one of the million letters I still have to do.
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Lol! Well you have like 3 days to get to my letter I’m just saying! And ok. OK. Ok. I’ll take the piggy jam. I’ll take it. Lol! And milkshakes are 💯 percent ice cream vomit. BEST vomit e-v-e-r! I’m
Telling you. You’re missing out. I hope you feel better asap!! You can read my NYE rant, rumor has it, a good rant can cure a bad case of the flu! No idea who spread that rumor around but hey. I’m just the middle-WO-man.
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Your rant was the perfect remedy! Didn’t sniffle or notice my throat was on fire, once! Oh and I forgot to mention whipped cream in my last comment. NOOOOOOO. It is the devil. I’ve shoved my face in the stuff enough times in “eating contests” to have it go up my nose. I just can’t.
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Lmao ok yea I’m sure anything in an eating constest context would traumatize me too lol like I’m sure that kid from matilda with the chocolate cake? NEVER ate chocolate cake again in his entire life. I get it. Makes sense! Lol. And you see I told you my rants are a cure for all! Ok I’ll get
Down from my cloud now. Seriously though, feel bettter! You can’t start the New Year SICK… that could be a bad omen. Or something.
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LOL the kid from Matilda is my hero. He probably had chocolate under his nails for weeks hahah. I’ll try and get better, thanks!
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They are definitely gathering fingerprints, but it’s worth it for the power to mix strawberry with a splash of orange. And I still can’t type without looking though I’ve been able to get a few letters consistently right. It’s the shame of my adulthood, so Mario failed us both.
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True. Creating new flavours in exchange for fingerprints is a worthwhile transaction lol. Seriously! Why did they bother teaching us cursive in school. Just put a blindfold on us and tell us to type.
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Life’s one big transaction. (I’m not sure what that means but I like it.) You heard it here first!
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33.5 I also remember someone pronouncing “Arkansas” as “Are-Kansas”. I’m still shuddering…Stop shuddering and answer this question!! Why don’t they pronounce Kansas as KAN-SAW!!
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Because that is past tense. Kan-See is present tense. “Kan-zis” is what comes out when they put their twang to it.
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Welp, I’m gonna have a field day with this one.
1.) Please see Mrs. Doubtfire!!!
4.) Congrats!!!!!
5.) Wow, I went to the movies 4 times over the summer, it was awesome! I made a collage of my movie tickets 🙂
6.) Am with you on this. I usually get a hotdog too, and that, soda, and popcorn comes down to $18 😦
7.) True but that is why we have Lady Gaga. She is always awesome.
8.) Same. I never seem to realize these small things in life that are so awesome.
9.) WHAT??? STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING NOW AND GO GET ONE! My god I love these things. Oh and spoiler, there is also something called a malt shake. It’s milkshake made our of malt balls (do you have Maltesers in Canada???) they are delicious.
11.) They’d think you’re pretty awesome!
16.5) Goodness. Never realized that. Spooky.
25.) I completely understand. I had one right below my dorm in university, there’s none near my graduate school and it sucks :(((
38.) Omg amen lol.
42.) What is this. It sounds nice.
45.) Very reflective. But you shall compliment them. I would have liked that when I was a new blogger!
Good day Paul!
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1. Never did see Mrs. Doubtfire 😦
5. You WOULD make a movie ticket collage lol
6. Way too much money for such small simple things. It’s just a hotdog! Prices are ridiculous.
9. We do have Maltesers but I’m not much of a chocolate/candy person!
42. Apple Butter BBQ Sauce is what they put on the pulled pork sandwich I get at a restaurant. Never heard of it before then but it’s delicious!
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I was going to try to comment on this from my phone, nope. I need my laptop so I can properly reply in numerical order. Stay tuned.
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Can’t wait!
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Whipped cream is the worst!! You first put it in your mouth and it’s terrible and then it gets WORSE!! And the aftertaste is 😖
You get me.
P.S. These thoughts were absolutely amazing ❤
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Ohhhh man the aftertaste might be the worst thing about it. Thank you for understanding.
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