From Within

I know you’re worried
I know you’re scared
trust me, I do
and I’m only saying this now
because there is a chill running through my body
which will not be ignored
so here it is
you will be okay

You know what you want
don’t lie to me
don’t lie to yourself
you know
you always have
and you picture it in your head
it lives there before you sleep at night
it wakes up when you wake up
it is your vision of the future
we all have one
I said don’t lie to me
even if it is just a dream
one full of question marks
it is there
isn’t it

There were moments when you sat
on the floor of your room
just hoping for a knock at the door
but it never came
and you wondered why
why couldn’t you be on the other side of the door
it sounded like fun
who doesn’t like to have fun
but there you sat
talking to yourself
talking to the presence in the room
hoping and begging
praying
praying for something more
praying for the fun on the other side
because you wanted this time
to be different
this was your time
it had to be

All of a sudden
the knock came
and you changed
that day
those few seconds
it happened
the day you were praying for
was here
you were finally you
the real you

You know how it goes
there are highs and lows
we all struggle at some point
look around you
you change
people change
and maybe that’s unfair
maybe that’s not what you want
maybe that throws you off course
but it is necessary
in order for the story to progress
page after unwritten page

You’re lost
but when haven’t you been
when have you ever been sure
when did you ever know everything
you haven’t
you won’t
you can’t

So what’s the problem
why are you frozen in time
are you so worried
about those around you
writing their book faster than you
is that it
a matter of penmanship
or is it deeper
do you feel unconfident
in your abilities
or in who you are
or even in your smile
is there something telling you
that you can’t
or is it just you

Because here’s the thing
no one can do what you do
that is why it is so hard
to see others
make things look so easy
because that is what they do
that is what they are meant to do
that is what their life is
and your life
is not their life
you were not meant to do
what they were meant to do

Your talents come naturally
that is why you can’t see them
you don’t think they’re special
you think they make you normal
you think they make you regular
like a bag of chips
but no one is normal
there is no such thing
your talents are seen by others
they are received by others
they are obvious to others
they make you who you are
that is why everyone who knows you
can describe you
because they see you
for you
while a mirror doesn’t know
the first thing about you
and that is the point
isn’t it

I know you’re worried
I know you’re scared
trust me, I do
but we’ll get through this
me and you.

“Something missing, left behind; search in circles every time I try…”
These Walls – Trapt

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About Paul

This is the part where I'm supposed to write something interesting about myself and you'll read it and think, "That's not that interesting." So let's not do that and just think about pizza instead, on the count of three. One, two, three. Donuts. Now, wasn't that interesting?
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9 Responses to From Within

  1. myattitude88 says:

    How vey fitting to read this right now. I’m unable to sleep thinking about my next endeavor and what I can take with me as I close the current door.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Julia McGeown says:

    This is great Paul!

    Like

  3. Myka says:

    I don’t know who this is about, but I hope they know. because it’s everything. If you need me, I’ll just be over here pretending it’s about me…..
    good job Paul, good fuckin’ job.
    .xo.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Ha thank you! I wouldn’t say the poem is about anyone as much as it is for anyone. But at the same time it’s personal and has a deeper meaning than I can explain.

      Like

  4. I got a little choked up reading this one. So beautiful. Keep the poetry coming; it’s so good.

    Liked by 1 person

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