Stop It

I feel a rant coming on, so get’cha popcorn ready and add butter because this one is gonna be a real finger licker.

I don’t know what that means. Get yourself a napkin if you must. I don’t want you to have a mess on your hands. Oh man, I’m hilarious when I’m furious.

Speaking of mess! What is wrong with the world? Don’t answer that. You’ll hurt yourself. I’m tired of seeing how divided we are and the snarky social media comments.

You have people making jokes about “the left” and people making jokes about “the right”, but beneath each joke is a bunch of anger, hatred, and more raised eyebrows than can fit on the average forehead.

Now, I’m not about to get into a big political discussion. Nor am I going to get into the surface area of the human forehead. I know my limitations. Politics are not my forte no matter how many articles, debates, or Twitter feeds I consume. Trust me, I’ve tried.

Oh, and the word “pluck” sends shivers up, down, and all around my spine before shooting down my legs to tickle my toes.

Political discourse sticks to me like small pieces of styrofoam, before I end up fighting myself just to get it away from me.

If that isn’t a great analogy, I don’t know what is.

So you can take your scathing articles and contradictory political tweets from 2013 and throw them under your porch, where a squirrel can find them and tear them to threads. Thanks.

This isn’t about who the leader of your country is. This is about you. A human freakin’ being. Someone who makes the choice every single day of how you are going to treat others.

I am tired of sexism. I am tired of bullying. I am tired of homophobia. I am tired of xenophobia. I am tired of racism. I am tired of body shaming. I am tired of listing things that should no longer need to be listed.

I am tired of people parsing words and editing clips to show a certain bias. I am tired of people making others feel less than they should. I am tired of the put downs, insults, and all-around human indecency that makes up this round or flat planet. Believe whatever you want.

Heck, I’m even tired of hearing that arachnophobia is a fear of spiders. WE KNOW. Enough already.

Don’t we all just want to live the same, free, happy life? Where you are accepted for who you are, no matter what your demographics say about you?

Who doesn’t want that?

Awful people. That’s who. I’d use a stronger word than “awful” but I’m in the heat of things right now and don’t want to stop to look up a synonym.

Whenever something bad or horrific happens in the world, you’ll hear someone say: “This is not who we are”.

Well, that’s fine and dandy but when I was in school and one person acted out in a class of thirty, the teacher would punish all of us. It’s that whole, “One bad apple spoils the bunch” bit.

While I’m bringing up school phrases, can we please retire the phrase: “Life’s not fair”? Teachers and parents, just end it. Come up with something else. “Even potato chips break sometimes.” There, use that. Anything. 

Maybe that’s when our divisions in society started – in school.

You had the “cool kids” and you had the “not cool kids”. Both sides thought they were superior to the other, though the “not cool kids” rarely, if ever, felt the need to impose their stance. Weird.

But even then, when it was picture day, everyone would come together and say “Cheese” on command, like the well-oiled robots we were.

And then recess came along and everyone ruined their “best clothes” and the hair their parents combed so far to one side that we were sure it was going to jump ship to someone else’s head. No wait, that’s lice.

MOVING ON.

I get it, we aren’t going to get along with everyone. But why do we have to go out of our way to let someone know that we don’t like them? Why can’t people just keep to themselves and the people they like?

Imagine that. What a concept! Spending more time with the people you want to be around and less time insulting the people you don’t like. Wow. I bet that’s what life is like on Mars.

Last night, six people were shot and killed at a mosque in Quebec City. This is Canada. We’re supposed to be better than that. We’re supposed to thrive on diversity. We’re supposed to be friendly, welcoming, and polite.

We’re supposed to be.

And you know what, maybe we are. But six people were killed last night while they were praying, so I don’t know if we can just gloss over this with a simple, “This is not who we are.”

How many people around the world need to be shot, victimized, or face prejudice before we realize that leaders of a country don’t control how we treat each other.

If you’re in a room with thirty people and are told by the leader of that room (we’re getting fictitious today, kids) that the only way you get to leave the room is if you hurl every insult you can think of at the other 29 people in the room, would you do it?

Maybe. Probably. You might have to go to the washroom, eventually.

But what if all thirty people sat there and complimented each other and said they weren’t going to treat others poorly just because the leader of the room wanted them to.

That might’ve been an awful example and I hope you don’t pick it apart because if you do, you will have missed the point.

You know what I did today? I went for a walk. On my way home I passed by a lady on the sidewalk who was walking her dog.

As we approached each other, we both smiled and said, “Hi”, and kept going without missing a step. It was so simple.

I was smiling down the sidewalk for the next ten seconds and didn’t even realize it.

Why can’t we do that more in life? It feels so good. Way better than throwing things through the window of a Starbucks because the person you voted for, lost.

I’m not saying you need to go out and become besties with people who have terrible intentions.

I’m just saying, not everyone is going to have the same thoughts, values, beliefs, skin colour, or orientation as you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t like them. It bothers me that I had to write that last sentence because I thought it was a prerequisite to graduate kindergarten.

Put your big boy or girl pants on – heck even wear a kilt – and be nice to someone.

If someone is on the opposite side of the political spectrum than you, why do you have to hate them so viciously?

Again, save your articles and old tweets that showcase hypocrisy and broken promises.

They think you’re crazy. You think they’re crazy. And you can’t even agree on that!

There are better ways to disagree with the people you think are destroying the world. I think.

If I think bread is good and Bob Tomronaldson III thinks bread is bad, then we’re never going to agree! You know what we will do, though? I’ll eat bread, and he’ll eat something else. And we’ll leave each other alone and not hurl insults at each other on social media.

Maybe the entire world needs to take a simultaneous nap. I feel great after naps. Perhaps we all just need a snooze to reset ourselves. Who’s up for a nap?

Did I hear someone say BLANKET FORT?

This rant has gone everywhere. I’m starting to simmer down, and I’m sure you’re running out of popcorn. So I’ll wrap it up.

If you want to protest, then protest!

If you want to march, then march!

If you want to make a sign, then make a sign!

If you want to get into a debate on Facebook that you’ll never win, then do it.

Actually, scratch that last one. I can’t condone it. Let me save you from yourself. In the 217 years that Facebook has been around, no one has ever won a Facebook debate. Look it up.

All I’m saying is, just try to be a decent human being. The world needs more of them.

Now don’t make me write a post like this again. So, stop it! You hear me? Good. Now go wash your hands before you get butter everywhere.