else

This poem is a companion piece to “everything” – written January 2, 2016.

And they will ask,
Was it then, is it now, or is it ever?

i had to look past the things that bothered
and the thoughts that would not leave
i had to hold my breath once or twice
in order to believe
and i had to drive circles around this town
just to get the look on your face
i waited too long to receive

sometimes i worried about the past
and the things no one knew
sometimes they suffocated me so much
like the firm grip of glue
but sometimes it let me out
to chase my shadow in the sun
like the kid inside would do

i remember writing about everything
and everything i wrote
i remember the careless tone in my voice
and never skipping a note
i remember feeling thrown out to sea
with my old life jacket
afraid i would not float.

Which day is it today?

It got to the point where the point became dull
and the one thing that I hated was the only thing I knew
opinions left to sympathy and the begging of a few
I always said yes but really meant no
so I yelled cut in the middle for the sake of the show
take your popcorn and go on home
this theatre is nearly empty
just leave me alone

The night knows more secrets than we are comfortable to admit
bury our heads in the pillow of despair
before sitting up to submit
the train of thoughts running through you goes anywhere
so if you spot a fountain in the corner of your eye
it means you still care
grab a coin from your pocket and throw it in
but only if you dare

The burning in my heart
is met with a shiver down my spine
goosebumps on my body
and a question mark in my mind
if I were to ask others how they felt
I think they would say the same
that is my reason for writing
only a whisper in the shadows would find that lame.

And you will say,
Yes.

When the sunglasses come down
the rear-view mirror shatters
I am here to tell you that it did
putting it back together was no easy chore
but when hard things break into small pieces
they find their way back home
and on the way they pick up perspective
something to hang on the wall as a reminder

These eyes were made to look around
oftentimes they see too many shiny items on display
which forces them to see nothing at all
and then the heart will take over
the ears will perk up
the mouth will ask the head one question
will I ever get to taste what they taste
and the correct answer is mine to choose

This is for all of us now
remember the truth lies in every cliche that gets discarded
just as song lyrics know how we feel without even asking
the words feel like home even though home is just a word
these years pass by faster than we know
and each one could be just fine, thank you
but there are more unknowns to know
more pillows to cry into
and more smiles to show
there are more awkward moments to lend
more funny things to say
and more souls to mend
there is more love to spread
more challenges to tackle
more friends to meet
and you better believe
there is still more pizza to eat

Up to this point
I have experienced everything
but there is still
and always will be
everything else.

And they will ask,
Is it then, is it now, or is it ever?
Which day is it today?
And you will say,
Yes.