101 Things I Dislike

Let’s get bitter, kids.

But first, a shoutout to four bloggers – Catherine, Myka, Rosie and Barb – who wrote a blog post about 101 things they like, after reading mine, the idea in which I stole from Aaron, who stole from Jess. We’re officially spreading faster than foot fungus in the showers at your local community centre! Feel the burn!

If you decide to join us, let me know, and I’ll add you to that star-studded introductory paragraph.

Let the disliking commence!

1. Warm beverages.

2. The smell that pencils leave on my fingers.

3. Cantaloupe (Can’t Elope?).

4. The winner of the Bachelor/Bachlorette, 65% of the time.

5. The sight of sushi.

6. Wraps.

7. Chocolate Milk.

*Dodges flying objects*

8. Slow walkers.

9. Phone calls from numbers I don’t recognize.

10. Truck drivers who follow closely in poor conditions.

11. When someone farts on the subway.

12. When the person sitting behind me at a baseball game puts their bare feet on the chair next to me.

13. 85% of the filters on Instagram.

14. The fact that Big Macs keep getting smaller.

15. Phone updates.

16. The unpredictability that dropping a spoon in a mixer presents.

17. Going to the eye doctor.

18. Dogs jumping on me.

19. When the end of the bed sheet comes out from under the mattress in the middle of the night.

20. Using someone else’s toothbrush by accident.

21. Relieving myself in an outhouse as bees swarm.

22. Iced Tea.

23. The idea that 2016 was a terrible year because people you never met, died.

24. Pushups.

25. Lord of the Rings.

26. Star Wars.

27. The silent T in Mortgage.

28. Overly salty french fries.

29. When people leave a mess on the table upon exiting a cafeteria/food court.

30. The LA Clippers.

31. Witnessing other people vomiting. (Happened on Monday).

32. Having to overhear the only person talking on the entire subway.

33. Taylor Swift’s acceptance speeches.

34. “Bae”.

35. Really pungent hand creams.

36. A dirty microwave.

37. Andy Bernard in The Office.

38. When Rob Schneider’s character opens a pizza box outside during the winter, in Home Alone 2. I’ll never forgive him.

39. The fact that unscented sunscreen still smells.

40. Ketchup on hotdogs.

41. Dancing.

42. When my legs fall asleep.

43. Caramel – by itself, and with chocolate. Fight me.

44. Peanut butter with chocolate.

45. Books with a smaller font than I’m used to.

46. How easily people are offended.

47. Gus from Recess.

48. People who shovel their snow into the road.

49. How easily professional wrestlers get distracted when another wrestler comes down to ringside during their match.

50. Public washrooms.

51. Witnessing people leave a public washroom without visiting the sink, first.

52. Shaving.

53. Finding out there is no “left sock” and “right sock”. For the first 18 years of my life, I always thought I chose the correct foot every day.

54. Growing up.

55. Today’s “culture”.

56. Shopping malls during the holidays.

57. Strollers. Triggered.

58. Winter jackets that go to your ankle.

59. Mechanical pencils.

60. The amount of commercials during an NFL game.

61. When the car/bus I’m in, breaks down on the highway.

62. Walking by smokers.

63. The whole concept of tipping/tips.

64. The mom’s new boyfriend in Mrs. Doubtfire. 

65. Avocado.

66. Most of the music on the radio.

67. Getting buttered up on a phone call, before being asked for a donation.

68. People who aren’t genuine.

69. McDonald’s assuming that because I ordered an apple pie, and they didn’t have any, that I would accept a raspberry pie instead.

70. Pushy people.

71. Loud whistling at sporting events.

72. Dressing up on Halloween.

73. Whole wheat anything.

74. Raisins disguising themselves as chocolate chips.

75. Tuesdays.

76. Seeing kids bully each other.

77. The smell of a child after they filled their pants. #CampHorrorStories

78. Finding “undesirables” in a public pool. #CampHorrorStoriesTwo

79. The Harlem Shake song.

80. The time limit at all you can eat buffets.

81. Crumbs at the bottom of a bag of potato chips.

82. Ketchup Chips. (It’s a Canadian thing).

83. Losing a staring contest to a raccoon.

84. A Wal-Mart in Michigan.

85. Pokemon GO.

86. The Big Bang Theory.

87. Small pieces of styrofoam that get stuck to my hands.

88. Peer pressure.

89. The cost of living.

90. Jeans.

91. Whenever I ran out of cheese to put between two crackers during snack time in Kindergarten.

92. Receiving the letter Q during a game of Scrabble.

93. Using a calculator for simple math.

94. The movie trailers on DVDs.

95. Seeing a kid with a cellphone.

96. When I’m lying in bed and all of a sudden feel like I’m falling.

97. The level in the Harry Potter PC game that featured a huge spider and a bunch of small ones. Didn’t play again for two weeks, circa 2002.

98. SEAGULLS.

99. Stepping on gum.

100. Opening the fridge and cupboards, only to find nothing new appeared since I last checked 10 minutes ago.

101. The Settlers of Catan board game.

Let the mudslinging begin.