101 Things I Dislike

Let’s get bitter, kids.

But first, a shoutout to four bloggers – Catherine, Myka, Rosie and Barb – who wrote a blog post about 101 things they like, after reading mine, the idea in which I stole from Aaron, who stole from Jess. We’re officially spreading faster than foot fungus in the showers at your local community centre! Feel the burn!

If you decide to join us, let me know, and I’ll add you to that star-studded introductory paragraph.

Let the disliking commence!

1. Warm beverages.

2. The smell that pencils leave on my fingers.

3. Cantaloupe (Can’t Elope?).

4. The winner of the Bachelor/Bachlorette, 65% of the time.

5. The sight of sushi.

6. Wraps.

7. Chocolate Milk.

*Dodges flying objects*

8. Slow walkers.

9. Phone calls from numbers I don’t recognize.

10. Truck drivers who follow closely in poor conditions.

11. When someone farts on the subway.

12. When the person sitting behind me at a baseball game puts their bare feet on the chair next to me.

13. 85% of the filters on Instagram.

14. The fact that Big Macs keep getting smaller.

15. Phone updates.

16. The unpredictability that dropping a spoon in a mixer presents.

17. Going to the eye doctor.

18. Dogs jumping on me.

19. When the end of the bed sheet comes out from under the mattress in the middle of the night.

20. Using someone else’s toothbrush by accident.

21. Relieving myself in an outhouse as bees swarm.

22. Iced Tea.

23. The idea that 2016 was a terrible year because people you never met, died.

24. Pushups.

25. Lord of the Rings.

26. Star Wars.

27. The silent T in Mortgage.

28. Overly salty french fries.

29. When people leave a mess on the table upon exiting a cafeteria/food court.

30. The LA Clippers.

31. Witnessing other people vomiting. (Happened on Monday).

32. Having to overhear the only person talking on the entire subway.

33. Taylor Swift’s acceptance speeches.

34. “Bae”.

35. Really pungent hand creams.

36. A dirty microwave.

37. Andy Bernard in The Office.

38. When Rob Schneider’s character opens a pizza box outside during the winter, in Home Alone 2. I’ll never forgive him.

39. The fact that unscented sunscreen still smells.

40. Ketchup on hotdogs.

41. Dancing.

42. When my legs fall asleep.

43. Caramel – by itself, and with chocolate. Fight me.

44. Peanut butter with chocolate.

45. Books with a smaller font than I’m used to.

46. How easily people are offended.

47. Gus from Recess.

48. People who shovel their snow into the road.

49. How easily professional wrestlers get distracted when another wrestler comes down to ringside during their match.

50. Public washrooms.

51. Witnessing people leave a public washroom without visiting the sink, first.

52. Shaving.

53. Finding out there is no “left sock” and “right sock”. For the first 18 years of my life, I always thought I chose the correct foot every day.

54. Growing up.

55. Today’s “culture”.

56. Shopping malls during the holidays.

57. Strollers. Triggered.

58. Winter jackets that go to your ankle.

59. Mechanical pencils.

60. The amount of commercials during an NFL game.

61. When the car/bus I’m in, breaks down on the highway.

62. Walking by smokers.

63. The whole concept of tipping/tips.

64. The mom’s new boyfriend in Mrs. Doubtfire. 

65. Avocado.

66. Most of the music on the radio.

67. Getting buttered up on a phone call, before being asked for a donation.

68. People who aren’t genuine.

69. McDonald’s assuming that because I ordered an apple pie, and they didn’t have any, that I would accept a raspberry pie instead.

70. Pushy people.

71. Loud whistling at sporting events.

72. Dressing up on Halloween.

73. Whole wheat anything.

74. Raisins disguising themselves as chocolate chips.

75. Tuesdays.

76. Seeing kids bully each other.

77. The smell of a child after they filled their pants. #CampHorrorStories

78. Finding “undesirables” in a public pool. #CampHorrorStoriesTwo

79. The Harlem Shake song.

80. The time limit at all you can eat buffets.

81. Crumbs at the bottom of a bag of potato chips.

82. Ketchup Chips. (It’s a Canadian thing).

83. Losing a staring contest to a raccoon.

84. A Wal-Mart in Michigan.

85. Pokemon GO.

86. The Big Bang Theory.

87. Small pieces of styrofoam that get stuck to my hands.

88. Peer pressure.

89. The cost of living.

90. Jeans.

91. Whenever I ran out of cheese to put between two crackers during snack time in Kindergarten.

92. Receiving the letter Q during a game of Scrabble.

93. Using a calculator for simple math.

94. The movie trailers on DVDs.

95. Seeing a kid with a cellphone.

96. When I’m lying in bed and all of a sudden feel like I’m falling.

97. The level in the Harry Potter PC game that featured a huge spider and a bunch of small ones. Didn’t play again for two weeks, circa 2002.

98. SEAGULLS.

99. Stepping on gum.

100. Opening the fridge and cupboards, only to find nothing new appeared since I last checked 10 minutes ago.

101. The Settlers of Catan board game.

Let the mudslinging begin.

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About Paul

This is the part where I'm supposed to write something interesting about myself and you'll read it and think, "That's not that interesting." So let's not do that and just think about pizza instead, on the count of three. One, two, three. Donuts. Now, wasn't that interesting?
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53 Responses to 101 Things I Dislike

  1. Jess says:

    #21 – This seems very personal.
    #74 – “Oh are those chocolate chip cookies!?”
    “No, they’re oatmeal.”
    “And you’re a jerk.”
    #75 – I HATE TUESDAYS TOO. It’s the worst day of the week.
    #96 – This feeling is absolutely terrifying.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hahhaa number 4. 😂😂😂 I feel you on that one!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. peckapalooza says:

    #7 – I’m right there with you.
    #17 – YES! That thing where they blow a puff of air in your eye is the worst! So are any kind of eye drops they use! Just stop putting things in and around my eyes!
    #25 – What?!
    #26 – WHAT?!
    #27 – Wait… are we not supposed to pronounce the T?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      I hate the air puff machine! I also hate when they stretch my eye open with their fingers in order to insert the drops. It’s torture.
      I don’t think we’re supposed to pronouce the T. I found it on a list of words with silent letters haha.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. rebbit7 says:

    #23: YES. And I thought that I was the only one who thought that those who said that this year was a shitty year were just annoying. True, bad things happened this year, but so have other years. There have also been good moments, too, but I guess as natural pessimists (who pretend to be optimists, good God), we tend to focus on the bad parts. Actually planning to write a post about this soon, once I return!

    Awesome points, by the way!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      I look forward to reading it! I can understand if some people think it was a bad year for them, but to solely base it off of celebrity deaths is ridiculous to me, even if they were big fans of these people. Is every year going to suck, then, because celebrities die every year? It’s crazy.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Angela says:

    #53 I have running socks that are specific to RIGHT and LEFT even though they have R and L on them, I still wear them on the wrong feet or two right feet (see my latest instagram post) haha!
    I’m with you on chocolate milk and Tuesdays EUGH!
    #96 does everyone get that?? I thought I was weird!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      So I’m not crazy about the socks thing after all! I’ll have to take a look.
      96 – I looked it up on Google to try and diagnose myself like everyone does, and it’s a thing that everyone experiences I think. I believe it’s the moment between being awake and falling asleep. Don’t quote me though lol

      Like

  6. heymeghan91 says:

    I have so many thought. So many. I’m not awake enough yet for these shenanigans Paul.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Barb Knowles says:

    I’m still on #1. Do you mean beverages that are cold and warmed up? Or hot beverages that have cooled too much? Now I’m going back to reading

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Barb Knowles says:

    Cantaloupe even if you say Honeydew. This list is going to take me a long time.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Barb Knowles says:

    5,9,13,15…….agreed. WHAAAAAAAA? Avocado is THE BEST and I forgot it for my list. #25 and #26 – can we still be friends? You’re killing me with some of these. I agree with #87 times a kazillion.
    #90….really? seriously?
    #96 and #100 I laughed out loud and agree whole-heartedly. #45 means you have to go to the eye doctor.
    I’ve read and added to this reply so many times I’ve gotten out of order.
    #s 25 and 26 might have been deal breakers. Luckily, I found out after I was already your blog mom. The last time I wrote blog mom, someone thought I was your real mom.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Myka says:

    Avocado?! Ketchup on hot dogs? Caramel & chocolate?! (Our friendship is declining) #4, #27 (friendship on the mend) #74, #27 (and we’re back).

    Liked by 1 person

  11. yes to phone updates, I just updated my phone and I ca barely do anything! also yes to lord of the rings, also jeans are just pants that are harder to wear–but why the hate on Gus!?

    Liked by 1 person

  12. The in-laws send us Omaha Steaks each year. Arrives the week before Christmas. I am STILL pulling Styrofoam off myself. I was in great despair when I saw The Big Bang Theory on here…but since you also list the LA Clippers let’s just call it even.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. mhmcneill says:

    The only one I’m going to vehemently protest against is “The Big Bang Theory.” I love that show. Some of these, though…like slow walkers…man. I feel your pain. I think dodging around large groups of slow-moving people in mall corridors should be a professional sport. And when they stop suddenly in front of me and I almost plow over them…rage…

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      Sorry! I’ve given it multiple chances over the years and I just don’t like it. I’m glad we can agree on slow walkers though. If they gave out trophies for passing them at malls, I’d have a million at least.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Dear Canadian Paul: I know this is going to sound so bizarre (which, as you can attest, is so unlike me), but I believe you’ve printed my “101 Things I Like List” in place of your “101 Things You Dislike List.” With, of course, the definite exception of #86, which was obviously due to that unfortunate run-in you had some years back with the entire Toronto Argonauts Canadian Football League team—Dreadful business that, but as you may recall, I did worn you to wear pads on that play?—plus with the further possible exceptions of #numbers 4, 5, 11, 12, 20, 26, 31, 34, 36, 46, 47, 54, 65, (inhale, deep breath, exhale) 70, 77, 89, 99, and 100. Otherwise, the list is practically my own, save for perhaps, number 100. However, I’m sure the magic will happen behind the fridge and cupboard doors shortly (Because my wife went shopping, and although that was 5 days ago, I’m almost certain she’ll be returning any minute now.) So as you can see, you must have used my “101 Things I like List” by mistake. Apparently, my list accidentally fell into the bribe package I sent you for helping me to get on your previous list—the Mounties aren’t watching now, are they? So if you’ll be so kind as to return it at your earliest convenience… all charges will be dropped and we’ll just forget this ever happened. Wait a minute… it seems some nice people in red uniforms with funny looking hats on, just rode up on horseback to return my list! Just forget I said anything. :O)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      You’ve really outdone yourself this time, American Paul. If my dislikes list your likes list, then your dislikes list must be my likes list! Confused yet? I am! But it’s perfect. We’ll confuse the heck out of the people on ponies…err horseback. I’ll let you get back to your visitors!

      Like

  15. For 9. Phone calls from numbers I don’t recognize – Try answering the call with, “It’s done, but there’s blood everywhere. What should I do next?” They probably won’t call back.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Val says:

    I love this. Particularly I love16, 54, 59, 69, 74, 83, 87 and more, though I’m not sure if ‘more’ can be ‘particularly’.

    and I’ve a question, re:

    11. How about when someone farts in an elevator? Is that okay? (Not that I’m volunteering.)

    and a thought (just the one):

    96. Maybe that’s why they call it ‘falling asleep’?

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Pingback: 101 Things I Dislike – The Finicky Cynic

  18. Quinn says:

    Rob Schneider in general, it could be said…

    Liked by 1 person

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