1. If someone doesn’t tuck their chair in upon leaving the food court, I will stare at them until I can’t see them anymore. It’s my way of being disappointed in society without causing a scene.
2. Did the phrase “bury the lead” orginate when the lead actor in a play was “put underground” because the understudy was looking for a big break and had connections? Worth investigating.
3. I think it would be cool if, once a year, WordPress had a summit for bloggers where we’re all shoved into a really big room with a bunch of tables and chairs (I ain’t standing) and mingle with the
profile pictures people we’re familiar with.
4. Scented hand soaps and hand creams make my head hurt.
5. I also have a theory that scented soaps and creams are clogging our lungs and we’ll pay for it later in life. I’m going to be 50 years old saying, “I told ya *cough* so!”
6. What if we just let cyclists ride on the sidewalk instead of the road?
7. I’m currently listening to Because The Night (1978) by Patti Smith. It’s a real banger.
8. I had to look up the word “banger” on Urban Dictionary to make sure I was using it in its proper context.
9. I am Canadian. I don’t like poutine. The cheese is unnecessary.
10. Anyone remember MapQuest?
11. We teach children to not eat yellow snow, as if eating snow is acceptable in the first place.
12. Okay, if you’re going to eat snow, wear a bib. You’ll dribble.
13. When I was a kid, I thought a peaceful protest was what the characters on the show Recess did when they held hands and stood on the jungle gym and sang, “We shall not, we shall not be moved” when the administration wanted to tear it down and replace it.
13.5 Silly me.
14. Now that I’m an adult, I realize that peaceful protests involve a lot of yelling, chaos, and violence.
15. I never watched Friends so I can’t play the game of “Which character are you?” What I can tell you, though, is that I’m a combination of Daffy Duck and Ernie. Do with that information what you will.
16. Hey Apple, here’s an idea: The iPhone Stretch. That way, we can make the phone whatever size we want. I want royalties when they release this in 20 years.
17. Why do we call them “video” games. There is no VHS involved. They should be called TV Games.
18. Italicized words are just really tipsy. Tell me they aren’t. Look at them lean.
19. I’ve always really enjoyed the first 8 seconds of Walking on Broken Glass (1992) by Annie Lennox.
20. Ditto goes for the first 6 seconds of Georgy Girl (1966) by The Seekers.
21. I cannot go to a restaurant and only order a salad. Might as well eat the tree in the parking lot.
22. I think it’s a travesty that 7th Heaven is rated 5.1/10 on IMDB. It was a solid show.
23. If the slogan “Mustard is a Must” hasn’t been used by a condiment company yet, every employee should be fired.
24. Same goes for “Relish the Relish”.
25. And “Catch up with Ketchup”.
26. Puns make the world go round. I learned it in Astronomy 1P01.
27. Going through a revolving door and hopping on an escalator, both give me an adrenaline rush. One misstep and its all over.
28. The word, “children” looks like it needs a comma to break up the awkward sequence of “ldr” within the word.
29. I’m trying out the half thoughts in this post. I like them so far.
30. Love is a banquet on which we feed, apparently.
31. Do kids know how to use a compass, or do they still rely on the sun to find their way out of the woods?
32. At first I thought “Fifth Harmony” was singer-speak for “the harmony after the fourth”. Still not convinced it isn’t.
33. New Worldwide Game: Everyone must carry a marble around everywhere with them. Caught without the marble, and you’re out. Last one standing becomes King/Queen of The World. It’s about time we get one of those.
34. In kindergarten, I used to make crackers and cheese sandwiches at snack time. If I ever apply to Subway, that’s going in my cover letter under the “relevant experience” paragraph.
35. Get ready for a pickup line in #36. I just came up with it.
36. If you look at your keyboard, “WE” are together.
36.5 As are U and I.
37. I never learned how to juggle three items. I only have two hands.
38. El em en oh pee.
39. Celebrities don’t get old. They just change their hairstyle.
40. Sometimes when the phone rings I say, “Hark the heralds, telephone’s ringing!”
41. It’s my intention to fill Facebook with happy thoughts so I’ve posted a picture of a flower. If you like this photo, I will assign you a flower to post in your status so we can spread happiness to SHUT UP.
42. Sewer rhymes with manure.
43. The first ten seconds of A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton is what I call a “toe twinkler”. For obvious reasons, of course.
44. When I was in school I sometimes read my notes with a British accent in my head. I convinced myself I was retaining the information better because that’s what the internet told me would happen.
45. Don’t Stop Believin’ is a song about a boy and a girl who split up in hopes of finding a pizza place that is open late. Read the lyrics and tell me it isn’t.
46. I’M GOING TO BE REALLY UPSET IF YOU SKIMMED THROUGH THIS POST.
47. My thoughts on solar eclipses are few and far between. That was a joke.
48. The men’s washroom during an intermission at a sporting event looks like someone stepped on an ant hill.
49. What does a cold hotdog call itself? A chili dog. That was also a joke.
50. The Great Lakes are so full of themselves. Not a joke. Just a fact.