1. Okay, enough is enough. We all know what the definition of “insanity” is by now. No need to keep repeating it. And no need to say, “that’s the definition of insanity” whenever the situation calls for it. WE KNOW.
2. Stop saying, “throwing shade.” It’s physically impossible.
3. I watched about five minutes (total) of the VMAs, and in that time, the performers told the crowd to, “make some noise” or “get loud” at least 37 times.
4. So far, this version of 50 Thoughts is just me saying “Shut up” in a polite manner.
5. Jerry Seinfeld. Mr. Potato Head. Daffy Duck. These are the three fictional characters who I identify with the most.
6. The monster in Frankenstein is called “The Monster” and not “Frankenstein”. Frankenstein is the scientist.
7. Peace be with you. And also with you!
8. Pizza be with you, but mainly me.
9. The word “shallow” was used so many times in old TV shows like 7th Heaven. I don’t remember them ever going swimming, though.
11. While in Cleveland, I came into the possession of a quarter from Michigan, Ohio, Maryland, and Hawaii. Put them together and you have four quarters on top of each other.
12. If someone is up to “no good”, would you prefer them to be up to “yes good”? If so, that grammar is no good.
13. No one plays Pokemon GO anymore. If I say it enough times, it must be true.
14. Who decided on “Brangelina”? “Rad-angel” is much better.
15. How did they come up with the name “Toto”? They took Ron out of Toronto.
16. That last one was a thinker.
17. Characters in TV shows who are shown running or working out, always have sweat down the front of their shirt in a perfect V formation. Why don’t I sweat like that?
18. There are so many secret passageways in Scooby-Doo.
19. A good group chat is hard to find, until you find one. (At first it was a coincidence that this was thought #19, but now I realize it’s more of a subliminal message to a few people who better be reading this post.)
20. If everyone hates politicians because they lie, why don’t politicians just tell the truth in order to gain popularity?
21. What do you say to someone who steals your cheese?
That’s nacho cheese. “I’m calling the cops!” Seriously, that’s theft.
22. People I look like: Sidney Crosby, Speed Racer, and Yogi Bear.
23. These advertisements before YouTube videos really need to stop. They make me hate what they’re trying to sell.
24. I think my favourite instrument is the violin.
25. I’m looking for anyone who has never had a taco before. Apply within.
26. Raise your hand if you’ve ever thrown money into the fountain at your local mall.
27. Now with your other hand, take out a shiny coin and go throw it in your toilet. Tell me what happens.
28. Every time they give away a car on The Price is Right, they call it a “brand new car”. Why don’t they ever give away used cars?
29. A more apt title for The Price is Right would be, “The Price is out of my Range”.
30. Make as many words as you can with the letters in the word, “Smart”. They can be anywhere between 1-5 letters long. Answers in the comments, please.
31. That last one was to see who reads every thought and who skips through them.
32. “…and Bingo was his Name-o” is such a poor attempt at rhyming. “Name-o” is not a word! Maury said so.
33. “…and Bingo ate an Oreo.” There, fixed it.
34. “…and Bingo was a domino”. Another option.
35. I’m too creative for this world. Everyone just says the same catchphrases as everyone else for 7 months before moving on to a new one.
Not gonna lie, Miley Cyrus’ music, circa 2008, wasn’t awful. So I hear.
37. Sometimes I cross out the words I type when I’m embarrassed to admit things.
Read between the lines.
39. My laptop sits on my desk, but isn’t a desktop.
40. One is not the loneliest number. All it has to do is turn around to see everyone else has its back. It’s the number that’s last in line who is lonely. Everyone else turned their back on them.
41. See what I mean by my “I’m too creative for this world” comment? Who else in this world has ever said what I just did in #40? NO ONE.
42. Just Googled it. Apparently someone else has suggested before that one should turn around.
43. Well, that was a shot to my ego. Time to have some eggs and Eggo waffles to boost my ego back up.
44. BECAUSE EGGS AND EGGO WAFFLES ARE NAMES OF FOODS THAT ARE SIMILAR IN SPELLING TO EGO.
45. This is the first time in my life that I’ve looked forward to reaching 50.
46. I’m going to be writing more fictional short stories on my blog. I have one coming up that’s going to be good. I just have to figure out all of the details for it, except the title. I have the title. The title is good.
47. It always bothered me whenever a teacher would spell “Hallowe’en” on the chalkboard. NO! That is not how they taught us contractions back in Grade 3!
48. No, not those kind of contractions. Get your minds out of the delivery room.
49. Oh Lord, get me to 50. We’re going off the rails faster than I can recite the L-M-N-O part of the alphabet.
50. Casual Friday shouldn’t be limited to wardrobe. Everyone should use pencil crayons instead of pens and pencils. Who doesn’t love pencil crayons?