Paul’s Not Here

First person to tell me which movie I’m referencing in the title gets 1000 points! Don’t let me down. Hint: Replace my name with someone else’s name. A lot of you are still confused, I can see it.

If you’re reading this write now, it’s because I’m out of the country for the weekend and when I come back on Sunday I want to see comments on my blog so I know people missed me. and pretty much off the grid.

Where have I gone? That’s for me to know and you to find out. Na na na boo boo. I’m five years old.

If you can guess where I’ve gone, you get 2000 points.

In my absence, I thought I’d share some of my old blog posts that I don’t think many of you have read before. I know, this is exactly what you were hoping for. You’re welcome.

You don’t have to read all of them. That being said, you get 1000 points for each one you do read. So, yeah. Go read all of them.

Here they are and a direct quote from each one. I apologize if they are a tough read. I was still new to blogging when I wrote most of them.

1. People Are Gross

“Thankfully, when an automatic toilet works, it really works. It’s like the Magic Bullet of toilets. It’s like a minor tremor.”

2. 99 Thoughts That (May) Run Through A Blogger’s Mind

“SOMEBODY LIKED MY POST. How’s that possible?”

3. The Friendship Quiz

“Why do people constantly have to make eating sound so delicate. It’s not! Get rid of all the extra cutlery. I don’t need four plates, three forks, two spoons, and a partridge in a pear tree to eat bread, salad, and soup.” 

4. What Is Valentine’s Day, Exactly?

“…the world is divided on a holiday that is about a half-naked baby named Cupid, who shoots arrows at people. This sounds dangerous and painful. No wonder they say, ‘love hurts’.”

5. I Don’t Drink

“I’d rather walk barefoot on a long road covered in lego pieces, before I want to spend my night getting cozy with a toilet bowl.”

There, I think that gives something for everyone. 

I will have another post up tomorrow if anyone cares. I’m celebrating a holiday that means a lot to me. Hopefully you can attend.

Oh yeah, Travel Post coming next week! It’s gonna be a hoot.