50 Thoughts V

1. One of my biggest fears is that an emergency situation will arise that will require me to run away from wherever I am, but both my legs and feet will be asleep. Therefore, I won’t be able to move. Terrifying thought, isn’t it?

2. The opposite of The Backstreet Boys is The Frontwalk Girls. Why isn’t this a band yet?

3. Stop re-making old movies and start making new ones.

4. What if pets think that we are their pets? Like, “This is my human.”

5. My friend Jess started a website to promote and sell her artwork! They’re grrrrreat! Check it out HERE.

6. Does “bulking” mean loading up on food from Bulk Barn?

7. Bulk Barn is a Canadian food retailer that sells a million different things, all of which you have to scoop and put in a bag, so it can be weighed at the checkout. You can also quickly sneak things into your mouth for a taste test and hope to not get caught.

8. If someone has an eye for talent, does that mean the other eye is closed?

9. If someone has an eye for talent, but wears glasses, do they have four eyes for talent?

10. When they refer to Casper as the friendly ghost, are they implying that all ghosts are normally unfriendly?

11. I had a piece of cake the other day. The last bite tasted like toothpaste. I now have trust issues with food. This is a nightmare.

12. Paul rhymes with Saul, but not Raul. This bothers me.

13. If guns don’t kill people, then how come people die when they are hit with a bullet?

14. Treat others the way you want to be treated is a really wordy way of saying, “Be nice to people, you jerk.”

15. Did I tell you that my friend Jess started a website to promote and sell her artwork? It’s the bee’s knees. Check it out HERE.

16. If you’re not entertained, does that make you exitained. I think it does.

17. Imagine if someone has a dream about you and you get to experience it in your mind as it happens, or on tape delay.

18. Did you know the macarena is actually a song about a girl who cheated on her boyfriend with two friends, while he’s being drafted into the army? Now you do. Childhood ruined!

19. Why do we have to call people “plus-sized”? Can’t we just call them a person? Because that’s what they are.

20. Rocking chairs are the best. Some might even say they rock!

21. Starbucks seems so elite.

22. Hearing “everything looks good” from a dentist is the most relief any of us will ever feel.

23. I had two juicy peaches today and I can’t stop thinking about them.

24.  Have I mentioned yet that my friend Jess started a website to sell her artwork? It’s magically delicious! I think. Check it out HERE.

25. So, what happens if Donald Trump actually does make America great again?

26. When politicians stand in front of large crowds and point at specific people in the crowd, are they really pointing at someone? Or are they just doing that to not feel more awkward than they already feel?

27. You would think that “protractor” and “contractor” would be antonyms of each other, or at the very least, have something to do with tractors. But they don’t. Who do I talk to about this?

28. Who created the term “hip-hop” and did they ever think of calling it “hop-hip” instead?

29. I’m not a fan of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Sorry.

30. Just once, I want to see a couple take a picture of themselves when they are furious with each other and post it on social media. JUST ONCE. Then they can get back to their rainbows and unicorns.

31. Do fish feel like they are in jail when they’re put in a tank?

32. I’m craving a nice custard cannoli right now.

33. It’s Jess O’Clock once again! She has started a website to sell her fantastic artwork. It’s cooler than cool. Ice cold! No clue if I said that right. Click HERE.

34. If there ain’t no party like an S Club party, then why are people still throwing parties? It’s guaranteed to be a let down, no?

35. If the song, “Stacy’s Mom”, came out in 2016, how many people would have a problem with it?

36. Same goes for “It Wasn’t Me” by Shaggy.

37. The only people who say “aboot” are people who think they’re imitating Canadians, who don’t actually say “aboot”.

38. Imagine if the world operated while it was dark outside and as soon as the sun came up, that was a sign that it was time to go to sleep.

39. Thomas The Tank Engine was the man! Or, the tank. Either way, he was cool.

40. Dairy Queen chocolate sundae, anyone?

41. Last call. Jess started a website for her artwork. It’s better than a warm sweater in winter! CHECK IT OUT HERE.

42. I don’t like raisins.

43. If you see a kid picking their nose, doesn’t that just mean they care about their hygiene?

44. I will never understand how people can wear shoes in the house. I come home and leave my shoes at the front door. And no, inquiring minds, my feet don’t smell like the cheese on your lasagna.

45. I’ll keep asking this until I get an answer I’m satisfied with: Are we supposed to tweet forever? What’s the long-term plan here?

46. I’ve never had gum.

47. When I was a kid, I used mouth wash as hand soap at the dentist because I thought the big jug of green liquid next to the sink was soap.

48. Mr. Bean was a comedic genius. Not these actors who have writers feed them their lines on talk shows.

49. Just the thought of chocolate sauce on pancakes makes me sick. Fight me.

50. I burped really loudly at my baptism when I was a baby. The whole church laughed. Too much milk, I guess.

Advertisements

About Paul

This is the part where I'm supposed to write something interesting about myself and you'll read it and think, "That's not that interesting." So let's not do that and just think about pizza instead, on the count of three. One, two, three. Donuts. Now, wasn't that interesting?
This entry was posted in 50 Thoughts and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to 50 Thoughts V

  1. Jess says:

    This has gotta be the best batch of 50 Thoughts you’ve ever done, and not just because you helped promote my artwork!
    4. I’ve actually heard that cats just think we are giant cats.
    17. WHAT IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE DREAM WAS ABOUT? Possible…
    21. I sent you a Starbucks clip you might enjoy, especially since you said you haven’t been to the movies in like, 45 years.
    34. I got way too excited about this S Club reference. I completely forgot about them.
    35. I’m surprised they haven’t banned this song from the radio. I heard it a few weeks ago.
    38. I’m pretty sure this sums up Alaska. It would really screw with me. They have 30 days of night…and it’s a vampire movie, of course.
    42. Raisins are disgusting.
    46. Paul, Paul, Paul….what are we going to do with you? You’ve never seen Titanic. You’ve never eaten a taco. You’ve never had gum. Are you even human? You’ve been a robot this whole time haven’t you!? We’ve all been fooled. FOOLED I TELL YOU.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Sorry for the late reply, I was recharging by battery and had to stand by an outlet. You know, because I’m a robot! But how do we know that cats think that about us? Haha. If you didn’t want know what the dream is about then you can wake up and delete it maybe. I don’t know, still working out the kinks. I’ll check out the Starbucks clip when my computer finished an update! S Cluuuuuub.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Jess says:

        THAT IS A VALID QUESTION PAUL. I can’t remember why scientists think cats believe we are just giant cats, but it might explain why Mumford eats and licks my hair like he’s grooming me.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Paul says:

        So if you’re consider a giant cat, Mumford is hitting on you?? Also, how do they know that people have the same attention span as a fish. Fish can’t talk!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. peckapalooza says:

    3. Amen!
    4. Cats definitely think that.
    30. I might issue this challenge to all my married friends on the Facebook.
    44. Yep. First move when I get home is remove the shoes. Even if I’ve just been wearing sandals all day.
    46. I feel like this ranks right up there with the “never had a taco” debacle.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      I could probably do a whole blog post on foods I haven’t eaten/things I haven’t done that all humans have lol. And please do issue that challenge to your married Facebook friends!

      Like

  3. 32) You must come visit me in Boston. They are KNOWN for their cannolis!

    Ha. I only come to your blog to talk about food.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. 35. It bothered me when it came out because of Mary Kay Leteurno and I had a hot mom that boyfriends hit on.
    46. Is probably because you’ve never been on an airplane.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Little Rants says:

    That’s not true about Macarena, is it? I’m sad!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Little Rants says:

    And I don’t like raisins either, they look like dried squirrel poo.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. The Chirping Canary says:

    Ahhh! 47. Is me!! Well, not exactly. Let me explain. A long time ago in a *record scratching* forget that. I think I was ten. Anyway, my dad is an IT guy and one time he was working on a computer at a dentist office and I was helping him. Then when we were about to leave, I saw hand sanitizer by a sink and I was like “oh, I’ve been working on computers for an hour and who knows what germy dentists have touched them so I might as well use it.” (We are all germaphobes on the inside). So I (without reading the label) go to the sink and squirt some blue “hand sanitizer” on my hands and attempt to rub it in. Instead, it flows everywhere and I have to wipe my hands on my trousers (I only said that word just for you, Paul) (also, can girls technically wear trousers? Or do you call them pants?) Then, and only then, do I realize that the bottle says mouthwash. *Insert facepalm emoji* So, naturally, I screech “Dad! I just put mouthwash on my hands!” He’s like “what?”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Hahahaha you’re the first person I know that has also done that! We’re apart of a very exclusive club. I guess it makes sense that mouth wash would be next to the sink, but nowadays soap comes in a million different colours so how are we supposed to know the difference!?

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s