Gotta Catch ‘Em All, I Guess

I never got into Pokemon. I didn’t understand it. I didn’t try to understand it. I didn’t watch the show. I didn’t want the cards. I didn’t want the games. I didn’t want the little keychains. I, simply, did not care.

And I say this as someone who was born in the 90s and lived through the phenomenon from the very start.

Now, we’re about twenty years down the road and Pokemon is taking over the world once again. I, still, do not care.

Is there something wrong with me? Many of you will probably say, yes. That’s okay.

I remember one day after school – it was the early 2000s – I went over to a friend’s house. We were playing road hockey and then all of a sudden it was 4PM and we stopped playing.

Pokemon was on TV and my friend didn’t want to miss the episode. So, I sat there and watched with him. For thirty minutes, I suffered. I had no clue what was going on. I didn’t find it interesting. I just wanted to get back outside and put a tennis ball in the back of a net with a stick.

That was the first and only episode of Pokemon I’ve ever seen.

My classmates would bring in binders full of Pokemon cards and flip through them at recess. They’d treat them like precious slices of pizza. I didn’t get it. I didn’t see the point.

They were just cards, weren’t they? What made them so special?

I know very little about Pokemon. One thing I do know is The Simpsons had a scene where Bill Cosby said “with the pokey and the mon” in the Bill Cosby-est voice you’ll ever hear.

I also know that Pikachu looks like a bag of flour. Robin Hood brand; Google it.

Now, do other people think Pikachu looks like a bag of flour? I have no idea. That’s just my assessment.

Outside of those two things, I don’t know if I could tell you much else about it.

Oh yeah, the tagline is “Gotta catch ’em all!” That makes them sound like a bunch of fugitives, does it not? Is this a spin-off of Cops? Should I be worried? Were that last seen in my area and are considered dangerous?

But, I digress.

Listen, I can poke fun at Pokemon all I want, but the fact of the matter is, it’s a really big phenomenon that a lot of people enjoy. I can respect that. I won’t sour on other people’s hobbies.

I like sports. I blog. I read. I run in circles trying to catch my tail. All of these are hobbies that other people don’t like. That’s fine. We’re all different. Some of us have tails.

But, this whole Pokemon GO thing. First of all, I don’t know if both letters in the word “GO” are supposed to be capitalized or not. I’ve seen “GO” and “Go” floating around. I’ll just assume that it’s “GO”.

I was curious to see what Pokemon GO was all about, since it’s been flooding my social media feeds. And when you have a flood, you try to figure out why! Man, I’m clever.

I won’t bore you with the details, mainly because I can’t explain it to you in a clear manner. Essentially, you download an app and walk around the globe catching different Pokemon. That’s the gist of it. I think.

So, right away, people harp on the health benefits of this. Kids who have never allowed the sun to touch their skin are now experiencing sunburns for the first time. Or, something like that.

Whenever video games are discussed, it’s not long before someone mentions that they are bad for you because you’ll sit around for hours and gain weight.

I don’t know, whenever I played video games, my hands were occupied with the controller. If anything, I lost weight because I put off eating for an hour or two. But who’s going to believe that excuse? Very few.

I think it’s great that Pokemon GOutside (sp?) has caught on like it has and is forcing people to walk around and be active. You can put this under the “pro” column the next time you want to discuss the pros and cons of video games.

However, it amazes me that we need to remind people to look up from their phone when they’re walking around in busy areas, and especially when they’re crossing the street. Hello? It’s a street! With cars!

You think people complained a lot before about people walking around with their head glued to their phone? Well, we’re entering a whole new realm of distracted walkers. And all because there are Pokemon everywhere and something is telling these people to catch them.

The world is a weird place, sometimes. We’re all weird though, so it balances out.

Like I said, I’m not here to rain on anyone’s parade. Go catch all the Pokemon you want.

I don’t even care that people stare at their phone while walking on the sidewalk, or in a mall, or anywhere else where they can’t get hit by a car.

If you run into a pole while looking down, that’s your fault.

But what has happened to society that we’re at the point where we need reminders to look up while crossing the street? It baffles my mind.

It used to be, “Look both ways before crossing the street!” Now, we have a preface to that? We have to tell them to look up first, and then both ways. Unbelievable.

You can’t stare at your phone if you’re dead.

So, to all of you Pokemon pursuers out there, I hope you catch those fugitives and store them in your phone! Or whatever the process for corralling a Pokemon is. I have no clue.

And if you’re wondering, “why is this guy even writing about Pokemon if he doesn’t care about them?” then you have a valid question, which I have no response to. It’s the Internet. Deal with it.

Thanks for reading.

Comments, concerns, and cookies are always welcome below. Feel free to leave one, or all three.