Gotta Catch ‘Em All, I Guess

I never got into Pokemon. I didn’t understand it. I didn’t try to understand it. I didn’t watch the show. I didn’t want the cards. I didn’t want the games. I didn’t want the little keychains. I, simply, did not care.

And I say this as someone who was born in the 90s and lived through the phenomenon from the very start.

Now, we’re about twenty years down the road and Pokemon is taking over the world once again. I, still, do not care.

Is there something wrong with me? Many of you will probably say, yes. That’s okay.

I remember one day after school – it was the early 2000s – I went over to a friend’s house. We were playing road hockey and then all of a sudden it was 4PM and we stopped playing.

Pokemon was on TV and my friend didn’t want to miss the episode. So, I sat there and watched with him. For thirty minutes, I suffered. I had no clue what was going on. I didn’t find it interesting. I just wanted to get back outside and put a tennis ball in the back of a net with a stick.

That was the first and only episode of Pokemon I’ve ever seen.

My classmates would bring in binders full of Pokemon cards and flip through them at recess. They’d treat them like precious slices of pizza. I didn’t get it. I didn’t see the point.

They were just cards, weren’t they? What made them so special?

I know very little about Pokemon. One thing I do know is The Simpsons had a scene where Bill Cosby said “with the pokey and the mon” in the Bill Cosby-est voice you’ll ever hear.

I also know that Pikachu looks like a bag of flour. Robin Hood brand; Google it.

Now, do other people think Pikachu looks like a bag of flour? I have no idea. That’s just my assessment.

Outside of those two things, I don’t know if I could tell you much else about it.

Oh yeah, the tagline is “Gotta catch ’em all!” That makes them sound like a bunch of fugitives, does it not? Is this a spin-off of Cops? Should I be worried? Were that last seen in my area and are considered dangerous?

But, I digress.

Listen, I can poke fun at Pokemon all I want, but the fact of the matter is, it’s a really big phenomenon that a lot of people enjoy. I can respect that. I won’t sour on other people’s hobbies.

I like sports. I blog. I read. I run in circles trying to catch my tail. All of these are hobbies that other people don’t like. That’s fine. We’re all different. Some of us have tails.

But, this whole Pokemon GO thing. First of all, I don’t know if both letters in the word “GO” are supposed to be capitalized or not. I’ve seen “GO” and “Go” floating around. I’ll just assume that it’s “GO”.

I was curious to see what Pokemon GO was all about, since it’s been flooding my social media feeds. And when you have a flood, you try to figure out why! Man, I’m clever.

I won’t bore you with the details, mainly because I can’t explain it to you in a clear manner. Essentially, you download an app and walk around the globe catching different Pokemon. That’s the gist of it. I think.

So, right away, people harp on the health benefits of this. Kids who have never allowed the sun to touch their skin are now experiencing sunburns for the first time. Or, something like that.

Whenever video games are discussed, it’s not long before someone mentions that they are bad for you because you’ll sit around for hours and gain weight.

I don’t know, whenever I played video games, my hands were occupied with the controller. If anything, I lost weight because I put off eating for an hour or two. But who’s going to believe that excuse? Very few.

I think it’s great that Pokemon GOutside (sp?) has caught on like it has and is forcing people to walk around and be active. You can put this under the “pro” column the next time you want to discuss the pros and cons of video games.

However, it amazes me that we need to remind people to look up from their phone when they’re walking around in busy areas, and especially when they’re crossing the street. Hello? It’s a street! With cars!

You think people complained a lot before about people walking around with their head glued to their phone? Well, we’re entering a whole new realm of distracted walkers. And all because there are Pokemon everywhere and something is telling these people to catch them.

The world is a weird place, sometimes. We’re all weird though, so it balances out.

Like I said, I’m not here to rain on anyone’s parade. Go catch all the Pokemon you want.

I don’t even care that people stare at their phone while walking on the sidewalk, or in a mall, or anywhere else where they can’t get hit by a car.

If you run into a pole while looking down, that’s your fault.

But what has happened to society that we’re at the point where we need reminders to look up while crossing the street? It baffles my mind.

It used to be, “Look both ways before crossing the street!” Now, we have a preface to that? We have to tell them to look up first, and then both ways. Unbelievable.

You can’t stare at your phone if you’re dead.

So, to all of you Pokemon pursuers out there, I hope you catch those fugitives and store them in your phone! Or whatever the process for corralling a Pokemon is. I have no clue.

And if you’re wondering, “why is this guy even writing about Pokemon if he doesn’t care about them?” then you have a valid question, which I have no response to. It’s the Internet. Deal with it.

Thanks for reading.

Comments, concerns, and cookies are always welcome below. Feel free to leave one, or all three.

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42 Responses to Gotta Catch ‘Em All, I Guess

  1. Little Rants says:

    NOTHING is wrong with you. You’re better off this way. I used to be so obsessed with Pikachu I bought myself a yellow hoodie with ears AND A TAIL.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Havle says:

    I’ve been reading your blog for a year now and in this and all through the other posts, I end up laughing really hard! 😀 I also admire that there is a social message in all of your posts! Why don’t give a try to Got Talent as a comedian? 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      What a nice comment, thank you! I’m happy I could provide some laughs for you. I don’t know how I’d do as a stand-up comedian! I fear it would come across as too rehearsed. I thrive off of witty comments and quick comebacks. It’s easier to do that in writing. Thanks for the encouragement, though!


  3. Jess says:

    We were just talking about this at work yesterday! I’m on the same boat. I don’t find Pokemon at all interesting. I was like you..I watched one episode to see what all the fuss was about and I never watched an episode again. But all the cool kids were doing it so I pretended to be interested.

    But it’s true, kids nowadays are playing Pokemon again. At least it’s better than drugs.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      They’re probably still doing drugs haha. I’m still trying to wrap my head around what’s so fun about “catching” pokemon. Just get a cat if you’re lonely. Whatever floats people’s boats I guess…

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Squid says:

    *2 dozen chocolate chip cookies from Publix* (do you have Publix in Canada? It’s like an upscale Walmart. Do you have Walmart?) I’m trying to get my drivers license, but with this PokeyGo thing, I’m scared I’m going to hit someone! But, I guess if I survive, I get bonus points that the drivers BPG (before PokeyGo) don’t have. Always gotta look on the bright side! I feel ya with the lack of interest in Pokemon at all. I had cousins who tried to teach me, but all I cared about was that there was a penguin one. Super cute!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      I don’t think we have Publix! We have Walmart though. There is a penguin pokemon? This whole concept just got a lot stranger to me lol. Don’t hit people with cars!


  5. Barb Knowles says:

    “They’d treat them like precious slices of pizza.” Great line. My husband does not participate in social media at all. NOT AT ALL. The other day he came home from work and said something to the effect that wow Pokemon Go is the big thing now. I thought it’s going to be really big if anti-social media people already know about it.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I just downloaded the app yesterday😂 I’m going to try it out haha! I have lots of cookies here, here have one. Since you’re my best blogger friend, have another!

    P.S- Would you like to guest blog on my blog? It would be an honor!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. rebbit7 says:

    Gonna disagree with you for a sec that I enjoy Pokémon, as it was a huge part of my childhood. I watched episodes of it on TV, had the cards and miniature figures, even played the video games on Gameboy (remember those?). However, I do agree with you that Pokémon Go mania is getting really out-of-hand…and fast. I personally don’t have it, because my phone’s not compatible with it, but I think this is taking it too far. It’s less about the spirit of the Pokémon franchise than it is about another addicting app game, I believe. We’ll have to see how it pans out over the next few weeks!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Paul says:

      I can respect that. I loved my Gameboy Colour! Might bring that up in a future post. I think Pokemon Go can be a positive thing – people can see sites they might never have visited before etc. But man, to end up in a hospital room because you were too busy chasing Pokemon just doesn’t sit well with me.

      Liked by 2 people

  8. Life has its moments lol lol. Nice post

    Liked by 2 people

  9. 😉 heh, I hope all is well with you Paul!

    Liked by 2 people

  10. as a mother of 2 x 90’s babies, I can say I see where you are coming from, did nothing for me either, but my 2 girls are straight back into again!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Miriam says:

    I don’t get it either Paul. But that’s life. The newest craze will soon come and take over from where this one finishes. My 15yo son collected Pokemon cards years ago and he’s a bit of a tech head now but he’s not in the least interested in this App. So there’s hope yet. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  12. anshurao says:

    I’m not sure about the health benefits. One of my friends has walked 50 kilometres in like two days and has hardly been home . He’s going to kill himself

    Liked by 2 people

  13. anshurao says:

    Since you’ve given me permission to leave more than one comment ,I’d like to add that teachers sometimes confiscated those Pokémon cards , so if you could convince them they’re just pieces of plastic /paper,thatd be great !

    Liked by 1 person

  14. peckapalooza says:

    I can’t get into it. I’ve always thought the Pokemon phenomenon was annoying. I was a freshman in college when it hit its first stride and spent a summer working at a video game store that jumped on the Pokemon bandwagon by selling annoying electronic paperweights that would play the “Gotta Catch ‘Em All!” line from the theme song whenever some kid pushed the button. Let me tell you, lots of kids pushed that button. I understand why people break under torture when exposed to repetitive stimuli.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Oh wow. I would’ve probably lost it and yelled at a kid, or put up a sign that said “If you push it you buy all of them.” If Pokemon Go is still a thing 3 months from now, we might need to hide in a bunker.


  15. This made me giggle so much. I downloaded the app today as i wamted to see what the hype was all about. But. It only came out today here and I didn’t play all day. However. I told my mom and she told me to look up and I asked myself why the fuck she would tell me this. Now I know why haha.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Bill Dyszel says:

    I’ve been wondering about that capitalization thing, too. Along with all the fake Japanese words.

    Liked by 1 person

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