50 Thoughts IV

1. I could be in the vast minority here, but I feel that it’s only a matter of time before the phrase “single like a Pringle” turns into “single like a T. Swift jingle”. It’s gonna happen. Trust me.

2. Hickory, Dickory, and Dock. Three mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; the others got away with minor injuries.

3. If a person takes a washroom selfie with the soap dispenser in the shot, are they considered photo-hygienic?

4. The other night I had about three dreams. They were all reruns! As in, they were dreams I had already had before. Not sure what that means, but I was pretty miffed.

5. The word “miffed” needs to be used more often.

6. Imagine if houses had ramps inside instead of stairs? Just walk up a ramp, or down a ramp. No one would ever trip. Plus, you could roll! And have races!

7. If ramps existed in houses, would we still call it upstairs and downstairs? Or would we call it upramp and downramp? So many questions!

8. “After millions of people argued over the colour of a black and blue dress, the world took a turn for the worse.” – Future history textbooks

9. Why is soccer always called “the beautiful game”? Is it because of the green grass? Is that it? The landscape? This isn’t gardening. This is sports! Also, soccer is always accompanied by riots and match fixing scandals. Give me a break with this “beautiful” nonsense.

10. I failed to mention in #9 all of the soccer players that pretend they’ve been shot every time they fall down.

11. A small optimistic part of me thought we were finally passed the point of people posting a picture of themselves with the dog filter imposed on their face. Sadly, I was wrong.

12. Yesterday was Social Media Day. I have no idea what we were supposed to celebrate. There wasn’t even cake. NOT EVEN CAKE.

13. If someone wants to wear flip flops with socks, let them. Why does everyone get so mad about this? It’s not your feet.

14. If someone wants to wear sweatpants everywhere, let them. Why does everyone get so mad about this? It’s not your legs.

15. Jeans are overrated.

16. I’ve never had a taco before.

17. Sometimes, I’ll stick my head in the freezer and enjoy a nice blast of cool air. And then I’ll notice that there’s ice cream. Then I’ll eat the ice cream. Sometimes.

18. If everyone stopped giving celebrities attention, they wouldn’t be celebrities anymore.

19. I recently downloaded a song. I’ve listened to it 52 times. I couldn’t tell you one lyric of it. Not because I don’t understand them; I do. I just don’t remember them unless the song is playing.

20. I have yet to meet a person that doesn’t like pizza.

21. Custard is so good.

22. I’m in a charity softball tournament this Saturday. I’m taking it way too seriously. Blog post to follow, maybe.

23. IKEA recalled 29 million dressers after six toddlers were killed. Has anyone ever recalled guns after a shooting? Because they should.

24. How much longer before record players come back into style? Asking for a friend.

25. 50% of the things I say on social media should be taken with a grain of salt. The other 50% should be taken three times a day with your meals.

26. Lemon water is overrated. Just give me the water by itself.

27. If Trump becomes President are Americans actually going to move to Canada? Or is this one of those things you say you’ll do, but never get around to?

28. If it’s free, give it to me. If I have to pay, go away.

29. Addendum to #28: If it’s free, but I have to sign up for something, go away.

30. There is always an unspoken conversation between two strangers whenever they have to share an armrest.

31. I’ve only had cantaloupe once in my life. Almost threw up immediately. Never again.

32. Fruit punch is overrated.

33. “Real men wear pink” is like saying “real women wear blue”. Who cares? Wear what you want.

34. Does anyone ever go on The Bachelor/The Bachelorette and not like the main person? I think it’s happened maybe twice. Seems fishy. Don’t tell me they’re all there to “fall in love”.

35. Is “WordPress” a play on “Printing Press”? Did I just crack the code? What do I win?

36. I recently read a list of the 50 unhealthiest foods in the world. I eat 7 of them regularly, but one of them is maple syrup so I’ve decided that doesn’t count. 6.

37. How many people actually knew what they were talking about when Britain left the European Union and how many people just commented so they could use the hashtag, Brexit?

38. How many people knew that “Brexit” meant “British Exit” before they used it?

39. Every game show on ABC is filmed in the same dark setting. Enough already!

40. I haven’t seen a hot air balloon in so long.

41. Do kids still play with hula hoops? And if so, do they look at their phone while doing it?

42. “And bingo was his name-o” is a poor attempt at a rhyme, but we’ve all accepted it and moved on with our lives.

43. I haven’t seen Finding Dory, but based on the title of the movie it’s pretty obvious that they find her. Thanks for the spoiler! A more appropriate title would be: Looking For Dory. That way, we don’t know if they find her and some mystery is added to the movie.

44. The thing I hate most about editing my blog posts is going back and seeing the words that I’ve convinced myself are good enough to share with the world.

45. Hockey isn’t that complicated to understand.

46. Macaroni is a food that sticks with students throughout their education. In kindergarten, they glue it on paper plates or make necklaces with them. In college, it’s all they know how to cook.

47. I can’t wait for the day where we can capture a smell with our smartphones and send it to someone. We can call it Smellchat, or Nosy.

48. I’ve read that raincoats are water proof. But what if you stand in a storm for an hour and then go inside? You can’t tell me you’ll be dry. You’ll be wet!

49. For the longest time I thought there was a left sock and a right sock and that every day I always put them on the correct foot on the first try.

50. Happy Canada Day!

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About Paul

This is the part where I'm supposed to write something interesting about myself and you'll read it and think, "That's not that interesting." So let's not do that and just think about pizza instead, on the count of three. One, two, three. Donuts. Now, wasn't that interesting?
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62 Responses to 50 Thoughts IV

  1. 12. Whenever I read or hear the word cake now, I sing “cake by the ocean” in my mind.
    18. Exactly.
    27. Most Americans are way to lazy to actually follow through with it, even though it would probably be for the best for everyone except Canada. You probably wouldn’t want the people who would show up at your borders. You would probably take them anyway because Canadians are so dang polite. They might not want to leave their guns behind. Or say “aboot”. Or eat Smarties instead of M&Ms. Or try ketchup flavored potato chips because it may sound like a good idea, but it’s totally not. My step-mum is Canadian, so I know that Canada is way different than America. Mostly because it is so clean, and people are nice and love the Queen and give their money cute names…. like Looney.
    34. “I know that I’m here for all the right reasons. I’m here to find true love.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Oh yes, I forgot to add that. Leave the guns at the border. Lol we don’t say “aboot”! Or at least I haven’t heard it yet. I hear Americans say it more than we do. I love smarties but I’m the only one I know in Canada that prefers them to M&Ms. Ketchup chips are gross haha.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. PS Aparently, I was too lazy to add a second o…. #Merica

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Miriam says:

    I’d install Smellchat right now if I could.
    You’ve never had a taco??? My kids would say you haven’t lived!
    My husband never had pizza in his life before he met me. Boy, did I educate him.
    Fun facts Paul, have a happy July. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Laura says:

    I don’t understand those dog filter pictures either. I watched my friend get quite hysterical when he first discovered all those filters and I am not really sure why!

    We haven’t left the EU just yet, 52% of Britain said they want to leave and now everyone is flapping their hands around and doesn’t seem to know what to do 😛 Whoever ends up in charge has to actually decide whether we leave or not. I am hoping they’ll decide it would be way too much effort to leave and stay in!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      Oh! I did not know that. I guess I’m now one of those people who comments on Brexit and has no clue what’s going on haha. Hopefully they stay! Kick the dog filters out of the EU instead.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Laura says:

        Haha don’t worry it is hard enough keeping track of it over here! I would much prefer it if we stayed in, I’d vote those dog filters out in a second though!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Barb Knowles says:

    #19 and # 35 are PRICELESS! Happy Canada Day😃

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Jess says:

    Six/Seven Thoughts:
    10.) I can’t stand watching soccer for this reason. Some guy will kick them in the knee and the player will fall down like, “MY HEAD. I HAVE A CONCUSSION.”
    16.) I hope you’re not serious about this. If you’ve never had a taco before, this is probably one of the most disturbing things I’ve read next to the fact that Hannibal Lecter is based off real murderers.
    – Also, do you guys Canadianize Mexican food like how we Americanize ALL FOOD?
    26.) I couldn’t agree more. I think flavored water is disgusting.
    27.) I won’t doubt that Canada will gain many, many American immigrants if Trump wins. Someone told me once that if he wins, he’s moving to Mexico. I was like, “BRO. Big mistake. Canada is way nicer……”
    31.) For the longest time, I felt like I was the only one who didn’t like cantaloupe. We should form a support group because of that one time we tried it and we can’t take it back.
    43.) Finding Dory is adorable. I saw it in 3-D. And no, I did not have a small child with me.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Paul says:

      Soccer is like professional wrestling.

      I might have had a make it yourself taco back in Grade 7 on an overnight trip but I don’t know if it was a taco or a wrap. The people at my table took all the ingredients before they got to me #Their600PoundLife.

      I’m sure we do Canadianize Mexican food. Apparently we do that with Chinese food. Chinese people call our Chinese buffets fake, but I think they’re they best things ever.

      Yesssss let’s call it Humans Against Cantaloupe Consumpion. HACC for short.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Jess says:

        THAT IS SO UPSETTING. Tacos are probably one of the best meals ever. I feel like if we are to ever meet, I’m going to need to change this. It will be like a father handing his son a beer for the first time. An absolute life-changing moment.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Paul says:

        I’ve never had beer either…….Are we still friends? Do hurt me..

        Liked by 2 people

      • Jess says:

        That’s fine, you get the picture haha and I’m sure I wouldn’t be able to hurt you even if I tried. I can barely open the door to my office building every day. My strength is that of a gerbil. I clearly need to hit the gym….

        Liked by 1 person

      • Paul says:

        “hit the gym”…so you can hit things! I’m sure we’ll meet at a Taco Bell one day and a blog post will be written about it.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Jess says:

        DON’T GO TO TACO BELL. Your experience with Mexican food will be tainted. Although sometimes it’s good….BUT DON’T TELL ANYONE I SAID THAT. My reputation as a Mexican is already God awful.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Paul says:

        Oh!? I can’t think of another Mexican place off the top of my head. My roommate always went to Taco Bell to get 5 tacos lol.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. darthtimon says:

    16 was outrageous. I demand you go eat some tacos right now.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. madlittleviking says:

    Reblogged this on E.T. Monster and commented:
    So many thoughts, so many more emotions. Yes!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. amorefado says:

    Happy Canada day!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Ha! I think this is the most hilarious one yet! You MUST eat a taco! I think you will like it! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Tori says:

    Omg this whole post was golden! I’m going to start using miffed in my daily vocabulary now hehe
    Happy Canada day!😃

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I so loved this!!! You are the best ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  13. anshurao says:

    I walked into Finding Dory expecting a tight suspence about a lost fish ,with maybe some cops throwing around sexy one-liners . I was so “miffed”
    I used miffed 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  14. peckapalooza says:

    Yes…
    10. So dramatic!
    16. Seriously dude? You’ve got to find one somewhere and partake. There’s a taco food truck here in town that used to be great. But now it’s popular and not worth waiting in line.
    20. There’s a kid at my church who claims he doesn’t like pizza. I’m not sure I believe him.
    23. Can I tweet this?
    26. Yeah, plain water, please. They don’t wash those lemons before they slice them up and shove them in your glass.
    38. Honestly, at first, I thought Brexit was something you might order for brunch.
    45. But it’s asymmetrical… 3 periods? What?!
    46. After college, it’s all they can afford to cook…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      He doesn’t like pizza? I thought that was impossible, outside of dietary restrictions.
      You can tweet that! Spread the word.
      I wouldn’t be surprised if Brexit is put on menus eventually.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. I’d say happy Fourth of July, Paul, but you’re a practicing Canadian! So happy belated Canada day, instead! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Little Rants says:

    Dang. So behind on your posts.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Little Rants says:

    And thank you for the TS jingle.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Little Rants says:

    I’ll tell you what else is over rated. KYLIE JENNER.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. rebecak says:

    1. I like the saying ‘single as a pringle’ and I’ve used it as a #hashtag only to follow it up with #exceptpringlesarentsingle because they’re not… They always have friends in the can and they’re always spooning. Ok, this is officially making me more sad about being single. Damn Pringles.
    3. Funny
    5. Good word. I’m miffed that I don’t use it more.
    10. Yes they do and it’s hilarious.
    11. I like the dog filter. I use it. It makes me laugh. I make quite the cute puppy.
    12. I like cake. Nom nom nom
    17. And ice cream. Sometimes, after my Thursday night runs, I stick my head in the beer cooler and pull out a cider to drink and then make up crazy birthday goals for myself. Moral of the story? Eat ice cream instead.
    16. Had to backup to not miss this… TACOS!! You. Can’t. Be. Trusted.
    20. Damnit, I like pizza too.
    21. Not so much. Yuck.
    22. You know my thoughts on softball.
    27. Yes. My bags are packed just in case. I’m planning to hide at your house. Just sayin.
    36. But what are they???? And, of course, the Canadian would love maple syrup… No stereotype on that one…
    37. I knew. Because I’m smart and stuff.
    38. I love #hashtags but this one is dumb. #sorrynotsorry
    40. I’ve never seen one in person. Ever.
    41. Makes me want to take a #hulahoopingselfie
    45. Maybe a little. The only rule I know is ‘icing’
    49. Wait… Are you saying there isn’t a right foot and left foot sock?? Why. Have. You. Ruined. My. Life?!?!? And this whole time I thought I was off to a winning start every day :((
    50. #merica(is in trouble, help us)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Paul says:

      1. Yes, but Pringles cheat on each other constantly if you think about it.
      12. Cake! We agree on cake!
      17. I’ve never had alcohol. Try not to faint.
      27. Time to start scouting out places in Canada! Instagram has many accounts with nice pictures of Canada haha.
      36. I couldn’t remember what the unhealthy foods were and I was too lazy too look up the list and go through it again because it was one of those that listed one item per page and I didn’t want to click 50 times. #longcomment
      40. YOU’VE NEVER SEEN A HOT AIR BALLOON IN PERSON?
      49. Shocking, isn’t it?
      50. Way too much violence in America. From an outsiders perspective, it looks like everyone has a huge ego and can’t let anyone else be right about anything. Also, guns everywhere. Canada is nothing like that.

      Liked by 1 person

      • rebecak says:

        1. Very true. Asshole Pringles, just like my last 2 exes. #blogpostforanotherday
        12. Yes, yes we do.
        17. THE TRAVESTY!! Who. Are. You. Margarita Monday promptly to be followed by Taco Tuesday (which by the way, also includes margaritas). Just tell me when and I’ll be prepared for the best adventure of your life 😉
        27. Ahhhh Instagram… My home away from home. I want to go where I can put a spout in a tree and drink maple syrup. Take me there. (Refer to your #36).
        36. #laziness because #adultingisdumb
        40. #truth Now you finally have something to hold against me.
        49. I’m lost. What is this darkness I am trapped in. Help me.
        50. Wait… It’s not darkness, it’s just #merica

        Liked by 1 person

      • Paul says:

        17. …and what follows Taco Tuesday?
        27. Ah that’s basically anywhere! I think I went on a field trip in Kindergarten and did that.
        36. Adulting is dumb. Everyone should aspire to be a really mature child, not an adult.

        Liked by 1 person

      • rebecak says:

        17. Hmmmm… Taco Thursday?
        27. Not fair.
        36. Allow me to introduce myself… #37yearoldchild
        51. I wasn’t lying when I said that #ilovehashtags

        Liked by 1 person

  20. Isabella Simons says:

    43. It’s a Disney movie. Of course, it’s gonna have a happy ending. And the dog filters creep my out. When my friend did one and showed me, I had nightmares for months.

    Liked by 1 person

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