1. I could be in the vast minority here, but I feel that it’s only a matter of time before the phrase “single like a Pringle” turns into “single like a T. Swift jingle”. It’s gonna happen. Trust me.
2. Hickory, Dickory, and Dock. Three mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; the others got away with minor injuries.
3. If a person takes a washroom selfie with the soap dispenser in the shot, are they considered photo-hygienic?
4. The other night I had about three dreams. They were all reruns! As in, they were dreams I had already had before. Not sure what that means, but I was pretty miffed.
5. The word “miffed” needs to be used more often.
6. Imagine if houses had ramps inside instead of stairs? Just walk up a ramp, or down a ramp. No one would ever trip. Plus, you could roll! And have races!
7. If ramps existed in houses, would we still call it upstairs and downstairs? Or would we call it upramp and downramp? So many questions!
8. “After millions of people argued over the colour of a black and blue dress, the world took a turn for the worse.” – Future history textbooks
9. Why is soccer always called “the beautiful game”? Is it because of the green grass? Is that it? The landscape? This isn’t gardening. This is sports! Also, soccer is always accompanied by riots and match fixing scandals. Give me a break with this “beautiful” nonsense.
10. I failed to mention in #9 all of the soccer players that pretend they’ve been shot every time they fall down.
11. A small optimistic part of me thought we were finally passed the point of people posting a picture of themselves with the dog filter imposed on their face. Sadly, I was wrong.
12. Yesterday was Social Media Day. I have no idea what we were supposed to celebrate. There wasn’t even cake. NOT EVEN CAKE.
13. If someone wants to wear flip flops with socks, let them. Why does everyone get so mad about this? It’s not your feet.
14. If someone wants to wear sweatpants everywhere, let them. Why does everyone get so mad about this? It’s not your legs.
15. Jeans are overrated.
16. I’ve never had a taco before.
17. Sometimes, I’ll stick my head in the freezer and enjoy a nice blast of cool air. And then I’ll notice that there’s ice cream. Then I’ll eat the ice cream. Sometimes.
18. If everyone stopped giving celebrities attention, they wouldn’t be celebrities anymore.
19. I recently downloaded a song. I’ve listened to it 52 times. I couldn’t tell you one lyric of it. Not because I don’t understand them; I do. I just don’t remember them unless the song is playing.
20. I have yet to meet a person that doesn’t like pizza.
21. Custard is so good.
22. I’m in a charity softball tournament this Saturday. I’m taking it way too seriously. Blog post to follow, maybe.
23. IKEA recalled 29 million dressers after six toddlers were killed. Has anyone ever recalled guns after a shooting? Because they should.
24. How much longer before record players come back into style? Asking for a friend.
25. 50% of the things I say on social media should be taken with a grain of salt. The other 50% should be taken three times a day with your meals.
26. Lemon water is overrated. Just give me the water by itself.
27. If Trump becomes President are Americans actually going to move to Canada? Or is this one of those things you say you’ll do, but never get around to?
28. If it’s free, give it to me. If I have to pay, go away.
29. Addendum to #28: If it’s free, but I have to sign up for something, go away.
30. There is always an unspoken conversation between two strangers whenever they have to share an armrest.
31. I’ve only had cantaloupe once in my life. Almost threw up immediately. Never again.
32. Fruit punch is overrated.
33. “Real men wear pink” is like saying “real women wear blue”. Who cares? Wear what you want.
34. Does anyone ever go on The Bachelor/The Bachelorette and not like the main person? I think it’s happened maybe twice. Seems fishy. Don’t tell me they’re all there to “fall in love”.
35. Is “WordPress” a play on “Printing Press”? Did I just crack the code? What do I win?
36. I recently read a list of the 50 unhealthiest foods in the world. I eat 7 of them regularly, but one of them is maple syrup so I’ve decided that doesn’t count. 6.
37. How many people actually knew what they were talking about when Britain left the European Union and how many people just commented so they could use the hashtag, Brexit?
38. How many people knew that “Brexit” meant “British Exit” before they used it?
39. Every game show on ABC is filmed in the same dark setting. Enough already!
40. I haven’t seen a hot air balloon in so long.
41. Do kids still play with hula hoops? And if so, do they look at their phone while doing it?
42. “And bingo was his name-o” is a poor attempt at a rhyme, but we’ve all accepted it and moved on with our lives.
43. I haven’t seen Finding Dory, but based on the title of the movie it’s pretty obvious that they find her. Thanks for the spoiler! A more appropriate title would be: Looking For Dory. That way, we don’t know if they find her and some mystery is added to the movie.
44. The thing I hate most about editing my blog posts is going back and seeing the words that I’ve convinced myself are good enough to share with the world.
45. Hockey isn’t that complicated to understand.
46. Macaroni is a food that sticks with students throughout their education. In kindergarten, they glue it on paper plates or make necklaces with them. In college, it’s all they know how to cook.
47. I can’t wait for the day where we can capture a smell with our smartphones and send it to someone. We can call it Smellchat, or Nosy.
48. I’ve read that raincoats are water proof. But what if you stand in a storm for an hour and then go inside? You can’t tell me you’ll be dry. You’ll be wet!
49. For the longest time I thought there was a left sock and a right sock and that every day I always put them on the correct foot on the first try.
50. Happy Canada Day!