Today I am sharing with you a special guest post by my friend, Shaz. Shaz was one of the first bloggers I became friends with when I started this blog in 2013. We first connected on a post I wrote called: “I Miss School, Already.” At the time, I didn’t really know how much of an impact that post had on her, but over the last three years I’ve come to understand. Now, she is a few days away from graduating and is here to share her college story. I couldn’t be more proud.
“Does everyone know about ‘Prince Player’ and ‘Stacey’?”
This is the quote that started my sophomore year. As I was having a housewarming party. The day I stumbled upon our friend Paul’s blog.
My jaw dropped. All the girls said “yeah” and carried on. I felt like I was in a nightmare. Little me jumped up. “Uh no, what about them?” I ask.
One of our friend says “Nothing, nothing” and the other stays quiet.
The friend that brought this up looks at me and our other friend. “I’ll tell you later” she says quietly.
The other friend shakes her head. “No! I wanna protect my girl Stacey!”
I wanted to cry right then and there. What a joke. That’s when I lost all faith in any of the friends I made freshman year. None of them were on my side.
I try to engage in the conversation. My good friend spills immediately about what they “did” and ends with, “….yeah, so just be sensitive to them during our meetings and stuff”.
I was furious. Be sensitive to them???? What about me???? I was with “Prince Player” before her! She knew about US before she did what she did with him!
My little get-together could not end fast enough. As soon as they were out, I fell onto the bathroom floor. How could he do this to me? “Prince Player” was my best friend. I really liked this guy. He was the first one that noticed me! Within our first week of classes, he told me I was smart, funny, and pretty. We would do our homework together and he’d walk me home. Pretty soon, we were no longer doing homework. We were getting close, but I liked it. He was a really sweet guy that had the same values as me. Or so I thought.
Of course I thought it was strange when he would ditch our plans last minute. Or when I’d see photos of him with various different girls. Or when he would want to hang out at very odd times. But I had no idea. Because why would he do that to me? I thought I was special. I was “smart, funny, and pretty” right?
And at that time? Come on. As if I wasn’t dealing with enough already. I had just been diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety. My family was moving and I would be all alone in Chicago. And I was starting my first ever college job as a TA.
“God I hate school” I thought to myself.
When I felt like I was going to die from all the dehydration of my tears, I decided I would get on my blog and write. Writing always helped me. Before I started writing, a “Freshly Pressed” post appeared on my feed.
It was titled, “I Miss School, Already“.
I chuckled. “I don’t”, I said to myself.
I clicked on it and began to read. Slowly, Paul’s words began to hit me. A happy teardrop fell down my cheek as I realized that I have barely experienced school yet. I had three years left!
I closed my laptop and prayed. “May the next three years be better than the one I just had. And may I one day feel as Paul does.”
It is now three years later. I graduate in four days. And hell, I miss school already.
After that incident with “Prince Player”, I noticed the positive things about me and moved on.
First, I reminded myself that I am very lovable. I joined many new clubs and met lots of new friends.
I came into college as an excellent dancer (I heard “Prince Player” left me for another dancer once :0). I got myself a chance to perform at my school’s annual heritage night a few weeks after the incident. As I was performing, I caught the eye of a very handsome boy who would later be known as “Heart”. “Heart” was nothing like “Prince Player”. “Heart” was loyal and reminded me about what he loved about me every day. With, “Prince Player”- I was lucky if I got a flirty message from him on Facebook once every two weeks…
When “Heart” and I broke up, it was very mutual. We both felt like we didn’t have that chemistry anymore. And I felt mature that we broke up in a civil way unlike in other relationships.
I also came into college as a leader. After I danced for this organization (that “Heart” was also a part of), I was asked if I would like to be on the executive board. After holding many positions with them, I eventually became President <3. This President role got me well known on campus and outside campus. My VP is a well known upcoming artist and got me in to many concerts! I absolutely adore him and love going out with our friends.
Lastly, I came into college as a teacher. I was the teaching assistant for three different classes at my college, and two at Northwestern University (through my internship I was awarded!). I taught 140 students in three years. I watched many kids learn because of something I did or said.
At the end of the day, I would usually take a walk around this beautiful city. If it was a horrible day, I’d call up one of my friends and they would come over (even if it was 3 in the morning!). If it was a good day, I’d gather up my friends to go out and celebrate. Wow I’m gonna miss my buds living only five minutes away from me.
What I loved about college was it allowed me to be me. Where else can you just throw yourself into a bunch of clubs/organizations when you want some fun in your life? Because of my involvement, I was constantly asked to give a speech, perform, appear, or be a special guest for things at school. Sometimes I feel like a celebrity; I will seriously miss all this popularity. “Prince Player” will never understand what he lost (this was just added for comic relief, I’ll kind of miss him too let’s be honest).
But seriously, friends. There is nothing like college. You make mistakes, but you learn. You fall, but you get back up. And most of all….you fail, but you succeed! 🙂
For more posts by Shaz, check out her blog: For The Love of Sass.