50 Thoughts III

1. When celebrities say they always have fans coming up to them wherever they go, I don’t believe them. Celebrities don’t mingle with peasants. Their security team would never allow that. Ain’t nobody walking up to Morgan Freeman in the produce section of a grocery store. Let’s be serious. They can pick out their fruit when Mr. Freeman is done.

2. I don’t know if it makes much sense that the other side of the pillow is always the coldest, but I’m not going to question it.

3. What genre of movie do oranges watch? Pulp fiction.

4. In 50 Thoughts II, I said that the first five people to tell me what the roman numeral was for the number 14 would get a shoutout in this month’s edition. Here are the winners: Michelle Cook at Putting My Feet in the Dirt. Miriam at Out an’ About. Peckapalooza at The Confusing Middle. That Tiny Giant at Lil Rant. Don Massenzio at Don Massenzio’s Blog.

5. Jeans are uncomfortable. I don’t like jeans.

6. People will stand in a line for hours just to get a free t-shirt that they’ll probably only wear once in a while. Would people do the same thing for a pack of underwear?

7. Go read #32 in this list and then come right back.

8. A good pillow is hard to come by. I’m starting to believe they don’t exist.

9. For the people who sleep on their side, where do you put your arms/hands? I find the whole sleeping on my side experience to be awful. I mainly sleep on my stomach, sort of. I think I sleep on half my stomach. I lean to one side. Picture that!

10. I watched a movie called, The Room – directed by Tommy Wiseau, a few days ago. It is now my favourite movie of all-time.

11. The Toronto Maple Leafs are picking first overall in the NHL Draft this year!!!!!!!!!! That’s a ten exclamation mark statement.

12. I haven’t had potato chips in about three months. I feel this streak coming to an end very soon. It’s too hard.

13. I’m right-handed. When I twist off the cap of a water bottle, I use my right hand to do it. Apparently a lot of right-handed people use their left hand to do that. And by “a lot”, I’m referring to about 4 or 5 people that I know.

14. If you didn’t learn how to play “Hot Cross Buns” on the recorder in elementary school, did you really learn anything?

15. I’m a fan of Meatloaf. The meat dish is good, too.

16. It’s May 1st and I’m still not convinced winter is over. If I wake up tomorrow and there is snow outside, I won’t be surprised.

17. I’ve been thinking about starting a Twitter account specifically for this blog, but I haven’t completely talked myself into it yet.

18. Every Drake song sounds the same. I’m basing my opinion off of the handful of Drake songs I’ve listened to for about thirty seconds.

19. Is it too late to start my own pizza place called Paolo’s Pizzeria? Or if I Google that, will I see that it already exists?

20. It already exists in Australia. Excuse me while I mourn.

21. I went to buy a sub sandwich today. The cashier gave me a free cookie. It made me realize I’ll never reach an age where I won’t be excited about a free cookie.

22. Shouldn’t “pants” really be called “longs”? I’m serious. That way they perfectly compliment “shorts.” Shorts and longs. Makes sense to me!

23. Caught a pretty big wave of inspiration today for a new poem. I haven’t written the idea down yet, so hopefully I don’t forget it.

24. Being famous must be a nightmare. You have to look like you’re attending a wedding every single day. And then you have to take a picture of yourself.

25. I wonder what the Pope does in his spare time.

26. Do people really watch commercials and think to themselves, “I want that!” or “I need that!”? I’ve never done such a thing, unless it’s a food commercial.

27. Who’s the sadistic individual that created the game, “Hangman”?

28. Less than fifteen years ago, we used to watch VHS tapes on the VCR. Time flies.

29. I’m trying to picture what a bird might look like while it’s sleeping. The image I’ve conjured up is of a bird beak down on a tree stump, with a few leaves on it’s body. How sad.

30. You know what we should all do more of? We should all buy birthday cake, even if it’s no one’s birthday.

31. Where’s Waldo? Nobody knows. I blame the parents.

32. When pencils talk to other pencils, do they call each other “Pen” for short? Or is that too confusing when they invite pens over for dinner? I need to know.

33. Just because I don’t post pictures of myself at the gym, doesn’t mean I don’t go. Actually, that’s exactly what it means.

34. I wonder how the “lamp shade” got it’s name. “Lamp hat” would’ve worked just fine.

35. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood, is the most useless hypothetical question ever asked.

36. I love Canada.

37. I’ve been waiting for the producers of Wheel of Fortune to run out of phrases ever since I was a child. They haven’t. Yet!

38. What is the purpose of a middle name? Is it like the runner-up of a beauty pageant, where if the first name can’t fulfill it’s duties, the middle name takes it’s place? That’s my theory, at least.

39. Ever notice how a lot of sports are just named after the main piece of equipment? Basketball. Football. Volleyball. Baseball. Those are just pieces of equipment! Hockey is so sophisticated, by comparison.

40. New idea: Pizza Trucks. Much like Ice Cream Trucks, Pizza Trucks would travel around town, slowing down on side streets, and play music so people can rush out of their house and get a slice. Someone make it happen.

41. The wheels of the Pizza Trucks can be decorated to look like a pizza! I’m a genius.

42. I love people with creative minds. People who think of and say things no one else does. People who can spell words correctly. I haven’t found enough of these people.

43. If I were stranded on an island and were only allowed three items, they would be…WAIT, HOW DID I END UP STRANDED ON AN ISLAND!?!? I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE!

44. “If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?” I’m convinced that the first person who ever asked this question was the first person that said, “There’s no such thing as a stupid question”.

45. If it ain’t broke, don’t break it.

46. “Fourty” is not a word. A person on my street is quite confident that it is. You can probably piece together the rest of this story on your own.

47. Do squirrels have sleepovers?

48. Stare at the word “Squirrel” for at least 60 seconds and tell me it doesn’t start looking like the strangest word in the english language. Do it.

49. In four days there are going to be a bunch of, “May the fourth be with you!” posts on social media. This irks me because it’s unoriginal. If this irks you too, pick a social media site of your choosing, and join me on May 3rd to post a status that reads: “May the third be with you!”

50. Ice cream sandwiches are fantastic.