I Don’t Understand Social Media Anymore

I didn’t know what else to name this post, so that title will have to do. I’m sorry it’s six words long. I know people like things to be brief on social media. My sincerest apologies.

I feel like this is one of those posts that most people would preface with, “I don’t mean to offend anyone. These are just my personal thoughts.” But I’m not going to do that.

People get offended if you hold a door open for them and they’re too far away, so then they have to run to catch it. Which means, people will get offended by anything.

So, let’s scrap prefaces on blog posts. Alright?

Okay, where do I even begin?

Memes.

Do we all know what memes are? Good, because I don’t even know how I would describe them.

Someone correct me if I’m wrong, but I think memes starting flooding the Internet, and all of our social media feeds, about five years ago. Am I right in saying that?

And I’ll admit, for a while, I thought they were fun. They were hilarious. They were something new. They were a new way to convey a joke. I like jokes. I liked memes.

But after a year or two, I lost interest in memes. I was silly to think other people would lose interest in memes too, but no! They’re still alive and well. The same ones are kicking around social media every single day for my eyes to roll at.

I mean, how many times can you use the same meme as a punch line for a joke? Once? Twice? Nine hundred and seventy four? Seriously.

There’s a meme of Michael Jordan crying. I see it at least ten times a day. And every time I see it, it’s used to make fun of something different.

I don’t understand.

Are people trying to be funny when they post it? It’s like telling the same corny joke ten times a day, every day, for five months. Don’t you eventually stop laughing?

Seriously, do people see that meme (or other often used memes) and chuckle to themselves? I don’t. My first and only reaction is, “Oh, that again.”

The newest meme circulating through social media is of Drake sitting on random objects, or in random places. I thought the first few that I saw were funny and creative, but then it just went downhill. And it’s only been a few days!

“Oh, there’s Drake again. Still sitting.”

“Oh, there’s a different person. They’re sitting like Drake.”

I don’t know, I’m not entertained by these things. Are people just trying to become popular on the Internet and get a lot of retweets? Is that what this is all about?

Is everyone just trying to get recognized so they can be interviewed by Ellen? It sure seems that way sometimes, unless people just have a never-ending sense of humour about the same thing.

Memes have lost their humour.

Please tell me I’m not on an island by myself here.

Speaking of something else I don’t find funny, snapchat filters.

I had snapchat about two years ago and deleted it after a few months. I didn’t get it. I didn’t understand why taking a picture of my face and sending it to my friends every fifteen minutes was all of a sudden a “thing”.

I had no clue what the point of it was. Or maybe I was doing it wrong? Was I supposed to send pictures of things I saw throughout the day?

Are people entertained by pictures of a couch, carpet, and fridge? I don’t know. I just didn’t get it.

But since I left snapchat, filters seem to be all the buzz.

Just like memes, I see these all over social media every single day.

I can’t even tell you the number of times I’ve seen a short video of a person opening their mouth, just so a big sparkling rainbow can come out of it.

Am I supposed to laugh? Someone tell me what my reaction to that is supposed to be.

And once you’ve seen one rainbow come out of one person’s mouth, you’ve seen them all. Right? I just don’t get it.

Then there is this whole “face swap” feature. Okay, that looks entertaining. I’ll admit that. But it amazes me how people haven’t gotten tired of swapping their face with something and then posting it.

Surely, after a few months, enough is enough, right? Right!? Is there anyone out there?

I haven’t even gotten to the language used on social media. Perhaps I should.

“Respek”

What the hell is that? I see it everywhere now. Is that an updated version of the word “Respect”. Did Aretha Franklin sign off on this? What’s going on?

“No chill”

Is that slang for “someone turned on the heat”? How many times do you have to type the words “no chill” before you get tired of it?

“It’s lit”

Someone call 911, we have a fire! I don’t know what’s lit, but something is lit! It’s lit!

Have you ever gone on Facebook and seen a post from, let’s say, a media outlet and a bunch of strangers engage each other in an all out war in the comments section? What is the meaning of this? Does everyone have to have an opinion about everything, all the time?

If I’ve learned anything from Facebook debates, it’s that no one ever wins them. Not once have I seen someone say, “Good point. You’re right. I now share the same opinion as you.” Not once!

So what’s the point in telling some stranger off with insulting comments that only make you look bad? Where is the logic? I know they didn’t teach this is school, but come on.

Don’t get me started on YouTube comments and the fascination with commenting “First” and “Second” and “Third” and then arguing with someone about who was really the first, second, and third person to comment on the video.

My mind is about to explode.

No one writes proper sentences on the Internet anymore, especially the people that insult someone else. And then the person that receives the insult always retaliates with a comment that corrects the spelling or grammar of the bully, because “That’ll show them!”

What are we doing?

By no means am I trying to make myself sound like the Grand Poobah of social media. I’m just typing out the thoughts and questions that run through my mind on a daily basis when I’m exposed to certain things on social media.

What happened to originality and creativity? Why is everyone content with copying everyone else? Post something original on social media that I’ve never seen before, and you’ve earned my respek.

How many of you noticed I just used “respek” in an ironic context?

If you want me to laugh at something you post, work for it! Work for my laugh. Don’t give me the same old meme I’ve seen eight hundred times and expek me to laugh.

Is “expek” a social media word, yet?

Now, before you tell me, “If you don’t like it, quit social media”, save your fingers the trouble of typing those eight words out.

Imagine social media was a place of intellect, logic, and jokes that weren’t repeated millions of times.

Just imagine.

I don’t know about you, but I have a sparkling rainbow flowing out of my mouth just thinking about it!

Rant over. I have a headache.