A Special Time

I didn’t want to be there anymore
but I had just arrived
so I sat down
held a pencil in my hand
and hoped it would stop shaking

the sweat dripped from my brow
as I looked up at the clock
now begging to leave
rushing through the process
just so I could get back

that was the first time I woke up
and finally saw what was going on
everything around me was so clear
and in mere seconds
it would all disappear

one by one
they said their goodbyes
each hug tighter than the last
and it just didn’t seem fair
that I was still there

there was nothing left to look at
all the signs came down
the walls were bare
I looked on with a blank stare
wondering where it all went

I sat on the floor in the hallway
wanting to be somewhere else
with my head down
and my hood up
the tears came down

if anyone should’ve known
it would’ve been me
but it wasn’t
I had never felt that way
I had never missed anyone before

I didn’t know how to say goodbye
to the people who changed my life
and made me happy and comfortable
to be in my own skin
I just didn’t know how

it was the best piece of me
and it was ripped out of my heart
a taste of reality
remained in my mouth
for me to chew on

as sad as it was
I needed it to happen
a free life lesson
that money could never buy
really changed everything

I made a promise to myself
that I wouldn’t wait until the end
to remember the beginning
laugh about the middle
and cherish it all

in the years after that
it didn’t get easier
as the permanent end drew closer
but I was content
knowing I had no regrets

five years have gone by now
goodbyes still aren’t good
but they aren’t forever
and you never know
who is waiting to say hello

sometimes I worry it was all a dream
and I’ll wake up one day with no recollection
because it was too good to be true
a perfect memory
of a special time.